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PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2015 11:23 pm 
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My story isn't very different from anyone else's but its mine and just like everyone else, my journey was very difficult and still is.
I grew up moving a lot. I had a single mom who worked all the time and moved us state to state, city to town to ghetto far too much. But she did everything she had to to provide for my brother and I. Life wasn't too stable until the age of 13 when we moved back to Massachusetts. I began drinking and smoking pot as much as I could.
And then I was physically hit by a car at age 15 and left on the side of the road. An ambulance happened to drive by And saved me. I had a traumatic brain injury, broken collar bone, and the entire right side of my body was blue. and since then, Ive had multiple knee surgeries, chronic migraines, and anger problems. I was being prescribed percocet and Vicodin and various other pills. Obviously it wasnt long before I was abusing them and at 17, I was introduced to OxyContin by the now father of my child. For the next seven years I was with him, I was abused and sectioned and jailed and horribly addicted. I never really embraced sobriety due to a lot of experiences and choices I made or were made for me that I couldnt forget or forgive (& still have a lot of trouble with) until I was sectioned for a second time. I went to a halfway house instead of home and I began a second try on Suboxone. I was great and clean and life was good for almost a year. II moved into sober living and my pills were stolen and life got really dark again. I was left homeless in the middle of a city I knew no one in and in terrible withdrawal. I hadn't gotten too bad onto heroin before that clean patch but all hell broke loose after that. When I finally found my way home, I managed to get on a methadone clinic and started cleaning my life up. I have since been kicked off methadone twice now, and I have recently gotten back onto suboxone. And I fucking hate suboxone. The side effects are terrible, I am still so sick and its day three. I honestly don't know if I will go to the appointment in two days for a refill and a group counseling because I am having a hard time reassuring myself I will not be put back into a situation of suboxone withdrawal. It is so so so so so so so bad. I would MUCH rather be sick of heroin than suboxone. And I don't know what to do with anything in my life right now.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2015 12:16 am 
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Hi Kait, welcome to the forum.
You have done the right thing by posting here, as there is a fountain of experience and knowledge in the members.
Im so sorry to hear of the unfortunate and extremely difficult life you have had so far.

Im no sure why your still feeling sick after 3 days of suboxone. I have been on heroin but not straight onto sub. I went from oxy and benzo's to sub but had to wait around 30 hrs between the change over.
How long did you wait between your last methadone and the sub induction? Also, what dose of suboxone are you on ATM.
Im not very experienced as I have only been on sub for38 days but did not have any trouble at all on it. Maybe you should go to the doc just to see why its doing this to you. When you go for a refill, what makes you think you will go through suboxone withdrawal again; have you stopped taking it?
Are you doing any other support stuff like NA or private AOD counselling? I just ask because of how much you have been through, anyone in your situation and life events would need extra help and support. Do you have any friends or family as a support network at all?

Be patient, someone will be along very soon to help with your problem and hopefully offer some answers and suggestions.
Keep posting to keep us informed. I have found it amazing how speaking (typing) on a forum can be so beneficial.

Best of luck and be kind to yourself.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2015 6:54 pm 
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Most people are not going to relate to your complaint of 'side effects'. Buprenorphine must be one of the best-tolerated meds I've ever prescribed-- compared to antidepressants, benzos, mood stabilizers, and blood pressure meds, just to name a few. As Mel wrote, I wonder if you made the mistake of taking Suboxone after being on methadone... because it is VERY difficult to change from methadone to Suboxone. I usually have people try to go without methadone for at least a couple weeks-- and even those people sometimes struggle for a few days. First of all, people on methadone are typically on much higher doses than the 30-40 mg equivalent to bupe... but even when tapered to that level, the methadone causes headaches and withdrawal symptoms for a week or two after starting buprenorphine.

But more important--- you wrote that you are making serious efforts to 'clean your life up', but while doing so you were kicked out of two methadone clinics. Those two comments don't match up with each other. Most people here who are doing well took an honest look in the mirror at some point. That's when things usually start to improve. Just sayin'....


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