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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:48 pm 
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Do you remember the first time you got high on pain pills. I mean really really high. We can all agree that was the best and to enjoy a high like that and feel normal the next day was a plus too. Now look at me, I can't function, can't think, can't enjoy time with my son and can't even hold down a job because "I call in sick too much". I use to make my family proud now they don't trust me. I don't blame them I don't trust me either. Only two people havent lost faith in me that would be the man who raised me ( my uncle monkey ) and my son. My uncle and I were real close. We hung out almost everyday and also own a business together. We worked all the time but he knew of my pain pill addiction. He didn't like it but he knew what I was going through. Monkey was a cancer patient for almost 16 years, he was also prescribed 40 mgs of oxycotins and 5 mgs of oxycodones. To be honest he would smoke bud to control and manage his pain. He barely took his pain meds he wasn't into them. When he would see me in withdrawal he would always hook me up. Yes it was a bad thing to do on his part but he needed me to be in top shape for work. He always tried to incourage me to quit but I guess I was never ready. He ended up getting diagnosed with lukhemea (no spell check) in January 2011. He passed Away March 13th 2011. It was a terrible loss for my family and not only did I lose my uncle/dad, but I also lost my best friend. Now after he passed I had to pack up his house and move his belongings to storage. While I was doing all this I found a couple of full bottles of oxycontins and oxycodones as well I had 512 pills all together. I was so depressed and said screw it and started to use them on top of my norco rx that I had. I just started saving the norcs and only ate the oxys. I was good for a while ( needless to say I ate all those Oxys in about 3 weeks ) but when I got to norcos I noticed somthing different. I can't feel their effect no more. I totally screwed myself now. I went from taking 8 norcs a day to 20-28 just to feel somewhat descent. I now know I have a problem and I am tired of living like this. But that was only the beginning. So I did my homework and read about suboxone, I researched it for 2 days untill I found a doc in my area and that was a mission in it's self. So after almost 2 months of calling every clinic in Boise I finally found one that would take me. When I had my first appointment I was finally in full withdrawal and I was withdrawing pretty hard. After my first does ( which tasted pretty nasty ) I felt normal and we decided on 20 mgs a day and I am on week 2 of the treatment and I have not had any cravings at all. So this is my first day on the sub forum and would love to hear from other members who have inspiring stories so I know I am not alone. Suboxone pills have a sword on em. I like to believe that is the sword we get to use to battle addiction. The N8 on them I have no clue. But because of that I call them Nasty N8's lol. I can't get the taste out of my mouth. Eeeew


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:19 pm 
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Hi majinic and welcome. I'm sorry about your uncle. That must have been a terrible loss for you. Are you still running the business? When you said you can't function, etc. do you mean now or when you were taking all the pills? If you mean now I can tell you that it takes a couple of weeks to really adjust to Suboxone, and 20mg is a fairly high dose. So, if you're feeling tired and foggy you might want to ask your doctor if you can go down a bit.
Congratulations on getting into recovery. You will find a lot of good info and helpful people here
Take care,
Lilly.


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 Post subject: hi
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:32 pm 
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Hi MajinNic, my name is Queenie. I am a 68 yr. old grandmother addicted to pain killers. Man, those pills sure get us in a lot of triuble, huh? Yes, I remember the first time I got high on pills and that feeling is what ruined my life. Thank goodness for Suboxone.

I just want to say that I know how you must feel about losing your uncle and how much he meant to you. I lost my parents 3 months within each other(Mom in Sept. & Dad in Dec). both in the same year. I was an only child and was very loved by both my parents. Need I say more? They both died of cancer and there was a lot of pills left which got me through those dark months where I lost the two people that meant the most in the world to me. Problem is that pills finish and the craving doesn't. Now I know that it's a losing battle. Please try to give Subs a chance. They will help you as they have helped me.

Well, this is my story. Like you, I lost someone I loved only it was two people. Like you, I found a lot of pills. But as you see, we need help and it's here in the form of an orange tablet. Don't pass up this chance. I hope you stay on this forum & meet all the great people here. I wish you the best.

Hugs, Queenie


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:09 pm 
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As of now I feel great on the suboxone and like Charlie Sheen I'm winning once again. When I found all those pills the wierd thing was he put them in a safe along with a note ( I was the only one who had the spare key ) the note was to me. He said in the note if I am reading this then he is no longer with us and he instructed me to spread his ashes in a place where he took me and his daughter sturgeon fishing. He also mentioned a few things that are private, lol. But when I saw all the pills the first thing that piped in my mind was sweet! Being an addict I felt as i won the lottery for a brief moment and told myself I would take these pills to honor my uncle or somthing stupid to that matter. But as far as the suboxone goes, I feel great and I will stick with it. The business is still up and going I'm am a land scaper and do sprinkler repairs as well. My son just turned 13 and I am working him this summer so I can teach him the trade but I encourage him to follow his own dream but to know he always has this to fall back on if he needs it. I like to discuss things so I believe I have found a good forum here. Thank you guys!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 10:00 pm 
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Hi and welcome to the forum. I, too, would like to offer my sympathies on your loss. But I also wanted to congratulate you for taking a huge, very positive step to get on suboxone and take control of your life! Good on you! I'm glad you're feeling fine and treatment is going well so far. Again, welcome....here's hoping you stick around and post often.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:36 pm 
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@ queenie1959
Yes pain pills are nothing but trouble, I didnt like the fact I could only function when I had a fist full of pain meds. I blew everything and everyone off when I was out and in withdrawal. I never want that feeling again. The main reason I started to take pain meds was back in 1997 I was roofing house and I slipped on a lose shingle and l fell off a 6x12 pitch roof. ( any roofer would laugh if they heared that, that kinda pitch is like walkin up a small hill,lol.) I fell maybe almost a story but I am a 6'5" 325 lb. man . I landed flat on my back ( in the grass ) and cracked 3 ribs and herniated my lower disc and decompressed a few in the middle. I feel the pain everyday but you kinda get used to it. After roofing I became a nurse assistant and that also put strees on my back, thats why now I only work 5 months in the year and work on sprinklers, keeps me cool,lol. But you know how that goes..

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 Post subject: Film
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:16 pm 
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Hey MajinNic,

Are you on the pills or the film strips? The film doesn't have as nasty of taste as the pills do because there is less of it. Plus you get better absorption from the film. It dissolves faster and is easier to reduce doses when the time comes.

Right now just get yourself stable on the Sub and in about two weeks you should be feeling like a normal human being. The work we need to do is reprogramming our brains to NOT have some substance to gratify ourselves all day long like we were used to. That 5 O'clock time is my worst. It's the time I'd get home from work and proceed to get as high as possible. It took many months to get that out of my system. Just had to start doing things different.

Welcome here and I hope you stick around. It's a good place for recovery.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:15 pm 
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I am on the pills but as of the 27th I am getting switched to the film. It is hard for me to get the correct dose with the pills because of the saliva build up in my mouth. I try not to talk but as soon as I medicate myself someone comes over or rings my phone. I almost wish they made a patch so I wouldn't have to deal with the taste but I hear wonderful things about the film so I can't wait to try it :-) he put me on the pills cause of the 20 mg dose. According to my Doc he said the film would dissolve if I left half out of the package. He said he doesn't mind bumping my dose up to 24mg if I feel funny to just try 16 and I also found out my insurance will cover 95% of my rx instead of 75% of the pill form so the nasty n8's won't harm my wallet as bad. It's still better than what I was paying for with the percs for some reason. I was paying 210 bucks for 240 10/325 oxycodones after insurance and for the subs I pay 71 for 75 pills. I'm sure that is more of a quanity over quality thing right there, beats street price lol.

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