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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:21 pm 
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I had great success with Suboxone but the pain drove me back to norco. Before I knew it I was at 10X norco per day. Looking for a way out my doc prescribed fentanyl, within 2 months I was up to 50mcg per day and I stated chewing the ones I used. I knew I had success with Suboxone before so I switched. After about 24 hours I was already having wd symptoms, I took my first Sub I felt horrible for about 4 hours then my girlfriend reminded me the doctor said to up dose I doubled it to 16mg and I did feel better. I had to up-dose again to 20mg total.

I am depressed to the point of thoughts of ... dark thoughts, I didn't eat anything yesterday, I did eat some yogurt today though. I took a shower put on clean cloths and changed my sheets. I still feel exhausted.

The only insurance I have is medicare, I'm going to look for a rehab that will accept my medicare as 100% and hope for the best. Ive been through this so many times I'm just about done.

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☤Opiate free since 01/05/2010
Suboxone free since 03/21/2011


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 5:14 pm 
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And Well i know the original member who had created this thread was well over 2 years ago, but beleive me, 2 years later this thread finally answered questions and helped me kick Fentanyl. I would use suboxone for when i didnt have my opiates and avoid withdrawals. Switch back and forth. I would snort 30 mg opana/oxycodone a night before and jump on my subs the next morning not even 12 hours later and not have d slightest discomfort, no PWs or anything! Man i loved that. BUT THEN! Got a hold of a 25mcg patch and held onto it for a month before i could some research and use safely. Well i loved the feeling it gave and started buying 100mcg patches here and there straight. I binged on them for about a month straight. I would buy a 100 mcg patch, cut them into four equal squares and chew on 25mcgs daily. My tolerance skyrocketd while on this. Before I started the fent abuse, i had a light tolerance. I would insifullate 30mg of opana ir everyday and feel good, happy, energetic, the good ol opiate feeling. Well i started to notice my tolerance was waay over d roof. I could chew 25mcg square and not have a high feeling just an overall good mood feeling. I decided that i was way too deep in this mess and it would only get worse and i would loose too much. I decided to finally kick it. The night before i wasr chewing on 25mcg patch and railing 50mg of opana or oxymorphone around 8PM, woke up and didnt wanna feel like crap because i had to be at work at 9am. so i put 2mg of suboxone under my tongue at 7am, only to start feeling like hell. By 8am i had restlesslegs, high anxietry, sweating profoundly, chills all of that. I had thrown myself into precipitated withdrawals., I felt sick for a couple of days and continued to dose on subs. The story only gets sadder becuase the addict in me went out and got more patches 100mcg ones. I had about 5 in a matter of two weeks. Two days ago, Monday, i chewed on my last patch. Just like the original member who posted about this i am tired of thinking drugs. I go to sleep thinking about d rugs and wake up thinking about drugs, spendind all of my money, seeing my little baby girl so healthy and happy and full of life, she was high on life. She needs me in her life. She needs a real man a real father a provider for the family. I too AM TIREDOF THEGAME! I had my last bit of fent 2 days ago hit the 51 hour mark and could not stand the mild withdrawals so i finally dose 1mg suboxone waited 30min, didnt get sicks but still sweating alot so i took another 1 mg and felt noticeably better!! I had dodged PWs!! I was so happy so an hour later i took 2mg more and i am happy to say that my withdrawals are gone! I didnt get PWs and now im on d way to recovery. I hope i can do it this time ima going to take it seriously this time and think about my baby girl than to go out and get anpther patch. I posted this because it may just help a few or maybe just one. I do know that this thread even 2 years later helped me alot to get ready n get back to subs and it motivated me tremendously.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 10:42 pm 
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It is great to hear that this thread was able to give you the information and the motivation that you needed to make the switch to sub. It really can be a wonderful tool for your recovery. Your baby girl deserves the best you have to offer, and you deserve to fully feel her love!

I'm assuming from your story that you don't have a sub doc, and I want to suggest that you get one if you possibly can. Although some sub doctors can be toolish, a good one can help you in your recovery and give you a feeling of being authentic and truthful. I only suggest this if it is would be a benefit to you, because I don't care about whether or not you have a "legitimate" prescription. I just care that you're being open with yourself and doing everything you can to help your recovery. Do you have any plans other than being on sub to help you in recovery? And addiction therapist, a support group, etc?

You've taken some awesome first steps and I commend you for taking those steps!!! You can do this! Give yourself the best possible chance by setting up some support for yourself.

Amy

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 12:18 pm 
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Thank you so much for your kind words, i need them and also for taking the time to read my posts! I was soo scared and nervous about jumping back to suboxone after my fentanyl binge because of the PWs. There arent too many threads out there discussing the jump from chewing fentanyl to suboxone, this one is really the only one that hits it right on. But to answer your question. As much as i would love to visit a suboxone clinic and have a doctor to help through this the correct way, my financial situation and family is what keeps my recovery a secret. rencently lost a 60K salary job so had to start the two job deal, with one of those being part time and about minimum wage. And well timing uggh after i lost my job my wife got pregnant with my baby girl. I went through a struggle the first year and thats about when i got hooked on them opiates. They were Percocet 512, 2 of them would get me high as a kite, now i gotta rail 50mg IR opana and 25mcgs fentanyl if not more. Id say my tolerance is pretty high. Me and the immediate family arevery close. Noone with the exception of my brother, knows about my addiction. Not my wife, parents, other 2 brothers NOONE. They are a very conservative family where d lightes of drugs like marijuana is like heroin to them. So not only devasted they will be but my wife and parents heartbroken. and this is why i cant go to a clinic. No insurance, in economic depression, i work 14hrs a day no time for NA meetings right now. Man i just dont wanna let the family down u kno? I will try my best to this on my own and hopefully with everyones help on here. Suboxone is a miracle, i love how it keeps my withdrawals at bay. But gosh me being the addict i am i still miss that rush, that energy euphoria opiates would give. Its like im so quiet now, I feel very lethargic as well. Well my plan is to get of this suboxone soon, i do not want to become dependent on it. Ive read around about a 2 week tapering method?? and well i do got a question. I still feel very lethargic, depressed, and just like dont talk to me feeling ya kno? Should i be dosing more sub? I took 2mg at 7am this morning and its now 11am and im craving that opiate high!! uggggh Thanks for taking the time to read this and giving some words of advice. That means so much me. I used to think people didnt care. This forums and other people has helped me so much. THANK YOU


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 9:14 pm 
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You are so welcome! And I'm not the only one here that cares about you. Some people may not be seeing your post because it's on an older thread, so why don't you post an introduction of yourself in Introductions? There is a huge amount of collective wisdom here on the forum to tap into. Several people usually reach out to people who are new. Especially if you are sincere in your desire to get some help, which you are.

I do understand why it would be very difficult for you to tell your wife and family members about your addiction. I was scared too when I reached out for help. I came from a family that barely ever had a drink, let alone using drugs. Telling them was very difficult. But they're not conservative in that they are close-minded. They were very happy that I made the decision to get help. And they were very proud of me for admitting that I had a problem. They haven't always done or said "the right thing", but they've been as supportive as they know how.

Telling my husband was so hard that I first told my pastor, who agreed to be there when I told my husband. My pastor has experience with drugs and addiction, so I knew he was on my side. That helped enormously. My husband reacted very well to my confession, even though his ex-wife had a drug addiction of her own that tore apart their marriage. I think it helped that I had a plan in place by the time I told him.

I don't know your family, and it's true that they might not react as well as mine did. But I hope you give it some more thought. It would be easier on you if they were part of your recovery.

There is a ton of great information about sub out there. Amber, one of the other mods, started a great thread listing links to helpful videos and other information. It's in the "Links" section of the forum. Here is a direct link to her thread: http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=62748#62748

My suggestion is that you spend some time gaining knowledge about suboxone. I feel for you that you are working two jobs and have long days, but I do think it's important.

I wish you well, and I'll be around! :)

Amy

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