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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 6:36 am 
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okay, here it goes again. my sub. doc. kicked me out for taking ambien. (i used to be nrecovery) but, i forgot all my signing on info. so, now im cowtowndave. so, i was able to taper to 1mg per day. but, was starting to feel all crappy in the mornings. so, in my bright mind. i decided to get some ultram to help. and, continue tapering. well, i was only using the ultram. and, befiore i knew it i had gone through over 200 of them in a month or so. not to mention, i also got vicodin. i had planned on saving all this fore mynactual w/d from the sub. i went crazy because of all the horror stoties i started reading on the med help.org site. ive ordered kartom, ibogaine and, some of that chinese formula too. just waiting for them to come now. so, back to what i was doing....after all my utram was gone. and, the vics too. (which i dont think even got me buzzed). i went back to my sub. and, i had been on only 1mg per day. for about 5 days. but, i noticed (or, maybe it was all in my mind) i need more to stay "normal". all the way back up to 8mg one day. so, i was up and, down for about 4 days. now, i have a new script for vicodin again. 120 of them. and, only about 6 8mg subs left. i know im in trouble. i also know i have absolutly relapsed (again). im 51 years old and, have an extensive history with all kinds of pharmacuticals...including a 10 year stint with methamphetamine. i only had about 8 months of what i used to call clean and sober time. till i found out that i was only lied to by my sub doc. and, i would have w/d's from suboxone. i probed and, probed her. then she found out i took an ambien for sleep. she kicked me out at that point. wouldnt even give me any clonidine. so, im building my own little pharmacy here at home. till the day it all come crashing down. ill also have some xanax by that point. everybody said i was doing so good. till i started investigating suboxone. on the fourm at med help. (by the way i absolutly respect dr. junig) wish i was his patient. so, thats where im at. id like to have some responces please. i know im playing with fire. i just have gone through w/d's so many times. it scares me alot. i just dont want to have to go through all those sleepless nites. and, sitting on the tolite most of the day. and, everything else that goes along with it. i have a family (thank god) and, have to be there for them . im a stay at home dad. i need to cook and, pick kids up to and, from school and, stuff. my thinking is, that i should drop to 1mg again as fast as i can. stay there for a few days and, finish it off with half mg. then the dust i saved from all the cutting of the pills. then, and, only then, the kartom chinese stuff..and, whatever else i have including xanax. (if i can save them). that ibogaine stuff im not too sure about. ive tripped alot on l.s.d when i was a kid. and, dont really want to do that again. oh...ive also heard that some provigil, or another type of stimulent helps with all the fatigue and, depression. so, like the topic read, i must be insane...but, scared. i know im not the only one to have to go through this. but, you know how us addicts are. self obsessed. and, im also on the pitty pot a bit ill admit... dave, cowtowndave, nrecovery...see ya! :shock:

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just another poor sap put on suboxone with a lie attached to it. with my taper schedual (my own) because i got dropped by my sub doc. fearful of another relapse.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 4:28 am 
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I would be careful with Chinese Formula. On another forum, it was discussed and people loved it. Then the formula changed and it didn't work anymore. The first batch that was reviewed so well was addictive and caused withdrawal symptons in people on its own. At best, it had ephedra in it and may very well have been laced with something stronger.

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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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