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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:10 am 
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Lol Trainer- steamrolling your brain! My brain would have steamrolled me for sure!

"3rd" Day 4 Morning Update!

Well, that sexy, little "hottie" Bath did not disappoint! She left me quite satisfied and content (if I smoked I would have had a cigarette after! lol)

Family still sleeping, so went on morning bike ride alone. Although I feel overall "better" than yesterday, I surely am not fully "well" here on day 4. Biking was both tough and enjoyable. Tough because it is just still so much more of an effort to move than it usually is for me, but I'd say I'm maybe at 40-50% today so far? So, better, healing, but certainly have a ways to go.

My mood is good, no "depressing" thoughts...with maybe a slight worry that I won't feel like my
"bouncy" self again, ever....but that is a lie, right??? Since my energy is so low, and I can't use my "secret weapon" of getting my heart rate up consistently for an extended period, I'm a little worried I won't be able to fight off the blues...but since they haven't arrived, why am I worried??

BRAIN- STOP THINKING SO MUCH AND JUST GET ME THROUGH THIS DAY SUBOXONE FREE!!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:18 am 
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Just a temporary thought in a temporary moment in time BF!!! I had those thoughts of what if, but they are just thoughts with no "meat" behind them, so to speak. This to shall pass..... cliché enough for you? Bwahaha

the stamina will come back soon, very soon. Try not to rush it, and actually embrace it! Means a whole bunch of healing is taking place! Thats a good thing!!!! We can't appreciate the sun without the rain!!!!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:07 am 
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You got 5.5 hours of sleep AND you were able to fall back asleep for another 2 hours after you woke up? Hell Yes!! That is a great sign that you're getting better.....and you're getting better very quickly.

Proper tapers are just the way to go. You get to pay the piper slowly along the way, then when it's time to jump, you only owe him about $1.50 and that's chump change.

Hope you have a wonderful day 4!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:44 am 
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Thanks Trainer and Romeo!!

Mid Day Update- Day 4

So, "hot" Bath and I had another satisfying quickie (I know I know it is getting VERY old, but please indulge me- I'm trying to amuse myself a bit here, k?), but then I made the "mistake" of laying down in bed in a darkish room, and just "vegged" for a bit. I felt like I had zero energy, and started thinking of all the things I usually get done by this time of the day, then the 1st "thought" of suboxone crossed my mind since I jumped. I imagined just how a tiny bit would make me able to "get up and go"! But there is NO WAY I was planning on acting on that thought (besides I've made it difficult - but unfortunately probably not 'impossible' - for me to get more subs). Anyway, there is just no way I am going backwards now, (today) but I thought I should "confess" the "thought" so it loses its power, KWIM?

Anyway, I managed to then drag my butt out to sit with my family "in the light". Now I'm feeling much more up beat. Took my bp, and without any more clon since last night, it is slightly below "optimal", and my resting heart rate is 54bpm (normal is 60-100; pro athletes, @40), so I think that is pretty good for day 4 withdrawals.

Gonna try and stay away from the clon as much as possible and hopefully my energy will improve soon. Sure happy I had it for the bp issues though! I would HIGHLY recommend getting a blood pressure cuff to gage whether or not you "need" clonidine, and how much is needed to just get bp down to "normal".
I am sure grateful I had / have this medication though!! It has surely helped me!

The crawly skin seems to have dissipated for now (hurray!!! I HATE that feeling!!), so really my big issue now is energy and stamina, but that I can certainly live with for now especially because I not only am blessed to be off work now, my kids (who I certainly love to death, but they are work too! Work I 'usually' LOVE, but am just not capable of doing well right now), anyway, my kids are going on a vacation tomorrow with their grandparents for 4 days! Again, I think my HP worked this out, as I probably need that much time to just focus on myself and getting healthy again, then I will have the energy to be a better Mama when they return! And they are going to have a fantastic trip as well!! :D

More soon!
BF

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:52 am 
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I read what you mentioned, regarding blood pressure and sub wd. I'm a couple weeks in, and woke up with a terribe headachr, earache and just a general pressure in my head. I cant still be having bp issues from sub can i?? I'm 26, 6'2" 195 and in good shape. I eat healthy, and i'm healthy. I just cant figure out why i have this headache. Maybe i developed a bp condition while on maintenance? ? Srry. I never knew withdrawal could raise or lower blood pressure.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:09 pm 
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m0jitoMan wrote:
I read what you mentioned, regarding blood pressure and sub wd. I'm a couple weeks in, and woke up with a terribe headachr, earache and just a general pressure in my head. I cant still be having bp issues from sub can i?? I'm 26, 6'2" 195 and in good shape. I eat healthy, and i'm healthy. I just cant figure out why i have this headache. Maybe i developed a bp condition while on maintenance? ? Srry. I never knew withdrawal could raise or lower blood pressure.


Congrats on "a couple weeks in!"!!
Hmmmm....not a Dr., you know (was raised by one though, but that still doesn't make me qualify- ha ha) As far as I have learned (and I learned it on this forum), the bp issues come during acute, and not post acute withdrawal period, but IMO, I would get it checked into (If you want to check yourself they sell the cuffs at Walgreens, and I think they also have those machines there where you can check it for free), and definitely talk with your doc, 'cause "who knows" what else could be causing those problems, you know?

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:45 pm 
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Good hear, BF, keep getting better day by day, because then I will too, lol.

Just came back from a swim, couldn't have done that yesterday.

Have a great day 4.

-- ji

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Thanks Trainer and Romeo!!

Mid Day Update- Day 4

So, "hot" Bath and I had another satisfying quickie (I know I know it is getting VERY old, but please indulge me- I'm trying to amuse myself a bit here, k?), but then I made the "mistake" of laying down in bed in a darkish room, and just "vegged" for a bit. I felt like I had zero energy, and started thinking of all the things I usually get done by this time of the day, then the 1st "thought" of suboxone crossed my mind since I jumped. I imagined just how a tiny bit would make me able to "get up and go"! But there is NO WAY I was planning on acting on that thought (besides I've made it difficult - but unfortunately probably not 'impossible' - for me to get more subs). Anyway, there is just no way I am going backwards now, (today) but I thought I should "confess" the "thought" so it loses its power, KWIM?

...BF

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:54 pm 
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Funny you mention the bp thing mo-man, cuz on and off I have felt that weird pressure from my neck up, slight headache and ringing in my ears. Just today on the ride home it happened again. Bizarre! Doesn't last long and then I feel fine?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:45 pm 
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Mid Afternoon, Day 4

So, afternoon is proving a bit tougher than morning, just like yesterday. But at least the "crawls" are gone and I have to keep reminding myself of how today is better than yesterday. Wow, I just have even more respect for "high jumpers" as this is work, and I'm getting better, not worse on day 4!! I guess it is kinda like childbirth- once you are 'ready' to start, there is no turning back whether it takes 2 hours or 2 days to deliver! But I'm sure every mom would prefer the 2 hours of labor! But the "end" result is just as precious, no matter how it gets here, KWIM? Freedom is worth it.

Things I did today I did not feel up to yesterday:
1. Played the piano
2. Sang in the bathtub "just because" and it felt good!
3. Was more engaged with my kids
4. Made a caesar salad
5. Ate some of said salad (mistake, btw, made me sick to my stomach!)

I am currently back in bed...just tired and still recovering from the salad mistake. Keep your diets bland in early wdl!

Later
BF

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:09 pm 
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Hehe. Withdrawal from sub in the early stages is Exciting in a wierd way. Btw, i just realized that i've been drinking about 3 5 hour energy's a day. Go figure, todays my day off. Guess what i didnt have.. yup. No more of that junk!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:10 pm 
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Good tip. I made the mistake of treating myself to chinese food one night during wds and o-m-g, was that ever a mistake!!!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:38 pm 
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Progress Butterfly, Progress!!

Trainer, you ate WHAT during your wd? OMGosh!!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:49 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
Progress Butterfly, Progress!!

Trainer, you ate WHAT during your wd? OMGosh!!


I can't believe I actually laughed feeling like I feel right now...thanks for that Romeo (& Trainer!)

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:04 pm 
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NEVER EVER EVER EAT BEEF LO MEIN IN THE HEIGHT OF WDS!!!!! luckily no one was home thenext morning........... ever grab the sides of the toilet, holding on for dear life with sweat pouring off your face? It was the Richard Simons shit, where you come out 5 lbs lighter! Bwahahahah LFAO


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:07 pm 
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trainer14 wrote:
NEVER EVER EVER EAT BEEF LO MEIN IN THE HEIGHT OF WDS!!!!! luckily no one was home thenext morning........... ever grab the sides of the toilet, holding on for dear life with sweat pouring off your face? It was the Richard Simons shit, where you come out 5 lbs lighter! Bwahahahah LFAO

LFAO also!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:12 pm 
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Trainer, it sounds like you were SYFAO!! :lol:

Don't sweat it, happens to the best of us.....especially after eating whatever the fuck you ate during wd!!

During my wd, I dared not light a cigarette in the bathroom while I was doing my business for fear of blowing our house completely off the map. K, TMI.

Back to our originally scheduled programming now.....

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:15 pm 
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Toilet humor.... tee hee hee


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:16 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
K, TMI.

Back to our originally scheduled programming now.....

Way way WAY TMI (lol)- remember, I'm ALREADY sick to my stomach! please, please stick with the original programming!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:17 pm 
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You ate sushi!!!! Eeeewwwwwe

ok.....back on point.......


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:20 pm 
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trainer14 wrote:
You ate sushi!!!! Eeeewwwwwe

ok.....back on point.......

Actually "ordered" sushi. looked at sushi. smelled sushi. did NOT eat sushi....wish I could say the same for the salad.

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