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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:54 am 
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ButterFLYING! wrote:
Hey Romeo, thanks as always for your input...sorry no response to your earlier post.."smart ass" me is on a little vacation....hopefully she will make a triumphant return soon!

Hey Romeo- did you see what i did there ^^^^^?
Even though "smart ass" me was on vacation, she made a little "cameo" appearance, i.e. "triumphant" return (because I'm always right you know- ha ha)

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:34 am 
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Hey, if anyone just jumps to this page today, I wanted to point out my "day 3" morning up date is on the previous page. Also in that post for my 'inventory' I said "no" sneezes- just sneezed 2 times (not 4-6) in a row so sneezes much decreased, but not gone. Not a big deal at all though.
Also, I said "lead suit = gone" which is not 100% true, but I feel SO much better than yesterday! Yesterday I could barely force myself to lift a plate, so happy my husband made dinner, cleaned up, etc. TODAY I have been tidying up around the house, getting ready to go out on a walk/ run depending on my stamina, etc, but I still feel a 'little" draggy- not "full" of energy, but like I said, SO SO much better than yesterday!

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Last edited by ButterFLYING! on Sat Jun 28, 2014 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:46 am 
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Ah yes, the lead suit "kuthunk...kuthunk", thats how I imagined it would sound walking. I truly believe that has alot to do with lack of sleep. Sounds like you are getting sleep so it shouldn't be horrible for you. I found once I started getting sleep, the feeling went away.

you are sooooo far ahead of the game you are probably looking at maybe 4 (you already have 3, so 1 more day), of mild stuff then its all uphill!!!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 9:12 am 
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Hey, thanks to Amy there are now links to both my threads! :D
Also , FYI, I made an edit to first post on this thread to kinda clarify the transition. Still working on my "clarity" issues! Lol

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:13 am 
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Hey peeps, if you are just 'joining us' this morning, FYI, this is like my 4th? post today already! lol- I've gone "postal" ha ha!

Ok, this next little piece of info is HUGE for me, I mean unbelievable, big- an event I had "given up hope" on:

I was just out on a bike ride, and a "thought" popped into my head- I had written a "note" and hidden it some years ago. Through out these past years, I have walked past that "hiding place" many times, and prayed, wished, hoped that "some day" what I had written on that note would be true. The note was taped shut, and I had made a promise to myself that I would not un tape until what I had written was true. Writing this note was kind of a 'last resort' for me after trying again and again to reach this goal over previous "years" of trying and failing. I finally "gave up" trying, and just wrote it down and put it in God's hands, for His timing, and just tried to "trust".

SO!!!! I JUST NOW OPENED THE NOTE!!!!!

Here is what it says:

July 2011
I am grateful for my blessings.
I am confident and content.
I am DRUG FREE- NO SUBOXONE!
I hear God's plan for me, and I carry out His will.
My body, mind, and soul are pure and healthy.
This is my prayer. Please help me Lord!


I may never know why exactly it took years for this prayer to be answered, but today I am beyond grateful for "answered prayer"!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 12:47 pm 
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What a great gift you have given yourself!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:39 pm 
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Thanks Trainer! So have you :D

Afternoon Update- Day 3 Free

This morning as I felt substantially better than yesterday, I may have "exaggerated" unintentionally about how "well" I am today. I am definitely doing pretty darn well, but also not "recovered" yet.
Again, just trying to give as honest an update as I can.

I went on a bike-ride, because walking or running any distance still seems too challenging. So I did a rather slow ride, about 3 miles and I would estimate my endurance is at about 30-40% normal. (Bless me! Just sneezed 3 times!). Yesterday I would say it was maybe 10%- a real chore to do much. Today I actually enjoyed my ride, yesterday I went on the stair climber sloooowly, and it was just "mind over matter" because I wanted to help myself feel "better" later. So, although I am definitely improving, still have a ways to go.

The "creepy skin" is still there, although it is much improved. Today I'm able to lay in one spot comfortably, but my skin still feels "buzzy". I am monitoring my bp, which still is raised a bit, but when I take some clonidine and it goes down and the creepy feelings lessen, but do not disappear.
I took an hour nap at about 11am and was not restless during the nap at all, so am hopeful about sleep tonight, but if I have problems, I will soldier on!!

The best advice I could give (if anyone is looking for advice, and I'm pretty much just passing on advice I have been blessed with from others on this forum) is you've got to get mentally tough, and dig deep to find your "inner warrior". Each of you is worth the fight! And guess what? It is not nearly as difficult as you may fear. We have all the weapons, and if we use them, the "enemy" does not have a chance!! It MUST retreat!! And in just a matter of "time" freedom is waiting for each of us. Look at Trainer, Ryszard, Romeo, Mama, JI, and 'Me' (and many many others on this forum!!)- if we can do it, so can you!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 2:34 pm 
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Hey BF 10% is about where i'm at today, would gladly take 30-40% tomorrow.

Glad to hear you're better.

-- ji

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 3:18 pm 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
Hey BF 10% is about where i'm at today, would gladly take 30-40% tomorrow.

Glad to hear you're better.

-- ji

Just take it easy and do what you can- every minute that passes brings you closer to feeling better. Get tough!! Be a WARRIOR!! You WILL GET THROUGH THIS!! And I promise, it gets better. When I look back at yesterday I can say "oh, that was kinda easy", but moment by moment, it can feel like a battle!
How is your head / mind / confidence doing Ji?

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 3:45 pm 
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This is a movie I watched MANY times as a child (few times as an adult, too. :D ) and this little clip from the movie always stuck out in my head. I just called it up and gave it a listen and thought you guys would get a kick out of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORsz2d1H7s&feature=kp

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 3:52 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
This is a movie I watched MANY times as a child (few times as an adult, too. :D ) and this little clip from the movie always stuck out in my head. I just called it up and gave it a listen and thought you guys would get a kick out of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORsz2d1H7s&feature=kp


An oldie but a goody! Anyone "our age" (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm "older" than you!) must be familiar with that classic- simple, but true- just keep walking!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 4:24 pm 
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BF I'm a lover not a fighter, I'm just taking it easy today and the next couple days. Left my laptop at the office, but I like reading so I'm good.

My confidence is 100%, I'm not going backwards. My mood is actually very good, though I think I scared a friendly I watched Brazil v Chile with. Got pissed about all the viruses on his laptop (which I wanted to use for SB Forum msgs) and I don't think he's seen my mad. Mostly I was joking, but I don't think he got that.

Once energy picks up I'll be good to go.

-- ji


ButterFLYING! wrote:
johnny_ikon wrote:
Hey BF 10% is about where i'm at today, would gladly take 30-40% tomorrow.

Glad to hear you're better.

-- ji

Just take it easy and do what you can- every minute that passes brings you closer to feeling better. Get tough!! Be a WARRIOR!! You WILL GET THROUGH THIS!! And I promise, it gets better. When I look back at yesterday I can say "oh, that was kinda easy", but moment by moment, it can feel like a battle!
How is your head / mind / confidence doing Ji?

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-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 4:30 pm 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
BF I'm a lover not a fighter, I'm just taking it easy today and the next couple days. Left my laptop at the office, but I like reading so I'm good.

My confidence is 100%, I'm not going backwards. My mood is actually very good, though I think I scared a friendly I watched Brazil v Chile with. Got pissed about all the viruses on his laptop (which I wanted to use for SB Forum msgs) and I don't think he's seen my mad. Mostly I was joking, but I don't think he got that.

Once energy picks up I'll be good to go.



The "lover not a fighter" made me smile Ji- good to know! :) I feel relieved for you that your confidence and mood are good- that will take you through this, right? I was super irritable my first 2 days, but less so today. Energy will pick up in time...I'm getting ready to get out on another little bike ride although my body is saying "lay down"...I know I'll feel better afterwards, and hopefully during as well.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:46 pm 
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DAY 3 FREE early evening update

Just got in from a "family" bike ride (we used to do this all the time, but it has been awhile, so that did my heart good). Honestly, I made it, but it was a bit tough. The toughest part was dragging my ass out the door, getting on the bike, and starting to peddle. It got easier from there (I was sure to bring music and headphones...and gatorade!!), but I'd still say I am only functioning at about 30-40% stamina, max. I'm pretty sure it did me good though, and also got fresh air and sunshine so that should help me sleep? (I hope?)

The "creepy skin" is decreasing which is SUCH a relief- the fact that it was so much better this morning just made me "ecstatic" for a bit because it was kinda bad yesterday. That was my biggest issue as far as getting any hours of sleep "in a row" last couple of nights, so again cautiously optimistic that tonight will go better.

Haven't sneezed for a few hours now...yawning quite a bit though, but maybe that is just because I am tired. We were going to go out for dinner (again, husband trying to "win me back" by offering to take us out "anywhere I want"...kinda starting to feel sorry for him......nah! lol. I'm actually pretty nice back, despite how I feel, so I don't really feel too badly) but I just really really don't want to go out. The bike ride is about all I can conjure right now. So we ordered sushi to be delivered....my appetite is also not great...I've had a protein drink today and that's it...not sure if I can actually stomach sushi which is usually one of my favs...

SO....approaching 4 days, and it really does go by fairly quickly. Just like "jumping" off a high dive...the scariest part is the walk to the end of the board, and looking down. Once you jump, in no time at all you hit those healing waters!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:30 am 
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Day 4 Suboxone FREE!

Woke up at 3am again, but am ok with that because (are you ready)- 5 1/2 hours of sleep! 4 of them "in a row!!!! I don't think I will EVER take "Sleep" for granted again in my LIFE. I need to treat her with respect and be ever so grateful for her company!!

Apparently a generator blew up last night just down the road a bit and made a huge "bang" in the middle of the night. It woke everyone in the house...except me! I didn't wake up until my daughter was in the room and telling my husband how scared she was (all our electricity went out too). I heard him telling her what he thought happened, and he tucked her back in, and I never moved, just fell back asleep, so yeah, I obviously got some pretty deep, much needed sleep! (electricity back on now btw)

SO, how am I FEELING you ask? Definitely "improved", but not 100% yet.
Teeny tiny bit of the "crawls"
No sneezing (yet)
Energy "better" but realize I need to actually try and do "normal" things today before I can honestly say how much stamina I have. Yesterday my morning bike ride was a bit easier and more enjoyable than the afternoon one. But I also took some clon early afternoon, so that might have been part of it. I've been keeping an eye on my blood pressure, and if it is not 'optimal' take a bit of clon to keep it level. I'm getting pretty good at assessing how I feel and guessing fairly accurately when my bp is up or when I am stable. This morning I think I am stable but will check shortly to see for sure.

My favorite work out class with my fav teacher is today at 9:45, (weight lifting with music) and I usually go and "kick butt", but not sure if I'll make it today....thinking of going and telling the teacher I am recovering from the flue and just need to "take it easy" (she always pushes me, which I usually like). Not sure if that will be too much for my body today...

If I compare day 4 with day 2, I'd say it's like "night and day" so far anyway. What a difference 2 little days make!! Just "time" folks, and '2 days' when compared to your 'whole life' is just drops in the bucket, right?

Soldier on!
BF

ps. I can't believe I'm on DAY 4!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:49 am 
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Hey bf, just like you said, my day 3 is starting off better than my day 2.

'Soldier on' is a good plan of action, have a great day.

-- ji

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:01 am 
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Great news JI!! If you are better today, you'll just keep getting better- your taper did the trick!

"Another" Day 4 Morning Update

So, after my 3:30 am posting, I actually felt sleepy again! And I had been drinking coffee!? So, I lay back down in bed and actually fell asleep until 6am! So, I really, truly must be on the mend, right?
Then I took my bp, and just as I thought, was stable- just slightly above "optimal" but well within "normal", for now anyway. I still feel a tad "crawly" so I am off to take advantage of that beautiful and "hot" 'Bath' (she comes in a close second to "Sleep" in my heart -lol)

I plan on another "normal as possible" day with my family, taking it easy, MAYBE try the gym.....
I'll post again later I'm sure as this really helps me (and I'm hoping gives others "hope"?).
I am fairly confident that the "worst" must be behind me? (words please do not come bite me in the ass)

Later,
BF

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:20 am 
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hi Bf...I must say I'm reading your and other jumpers posts with a little dose of jealousy..don't be mad :D I guess it's normal knowing I still have serious work ahead of me and you guys are getting the results of your hard work.
Yesterday was my 4th day at 1,25mg..and it was the worst yet! Sub really is a sneaky little sh...as soon as you think this is going extremely well..piece of cake...it comes back and bites you!
Last evening I took my dose after 10h just like previous days..there were some wd sympthoms at the end but nothing unbearable..the thing that hit me was that after taking it things didn't get much better - unlike last 3 days.. And that is the part we get most vulnerable right? ..and kind of lose patience. But I did get through it and did not take any extra. It's just feels like a little setback since I was hoping to go down to 1mg today, but now I'm not that confident..maybe I'll have to wait a few more days.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:44 am 
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fuser wrote:
hi Bf...I must say I'm reading your and other jumpers posts with a little dose of jealousy..don't be mad :D I guess it's normal knowing I still have serious work ahead of me and you guys are getting the results of your hard work.
Yesterday was my 4th day at 1,25mg..and it was the worst yet! Sub really is a sneaky little sh...as soon as you think this is going extremely well..piece of cake...it comes back and bites you!
Last evening I took my dose after 10h just like previous days..there were some wd sympthoms at the end but nothing unbearable..the thing that hit me was that after taking it things didn't get much better - unlike last 3 days.. And that is the part we get most vulnerable right? ..and kind of lose patience. But I did get through it and did not take any extra. It's just feels like a little setback since I was hoping to go down to 1mg today, but now I'm not that confident..maybe I'll have to wait a few more days.

Hey fuser, I know how you feel...getting closer to the finish line but not quite there, watching others 'cross' before you....happened to me, and it will probably happen to others as they watch you 'cross' before them. Don't forget there are many people on this forum on much higher doses than you, and many we don't even know about who just "read" and don't post, KWIM? So, as hard as it is, just try and stay focused on your progress, and think of how far you have come already!
I think the reason we start not to feel "better" when we drop after a few days is that there is less of the drug built up in the system. Maybe try thinking of going through the "minor" withdrawals (and I have to be honest, the "drop" withdrawals are quite minor compared to like Day 2 for me), as paying forward towards your eventual jump so you will not suffer so much then. From what I have read, those who jump from higher doses and have not taken steps to get in good to optimal physical condition prior to jumping are just hitting the "worst" of it around days 4-7, and here I am on day 4 feeling pretty darn good. But we are all different and I am DEFINITELY not putting down ANYONE'S process!! I am amazed at those 'high jumpers' and their endurance and will.....for me, I'm not sure I could have taken it if I was just now hitting my "worst" days and it was worse than my day 2, KWIM?

PS! FYI, I always "stabilized" for 2-3 (usually 3) weeks prior to dropping again. Sounds to me like you plan to drop quicker than that, but do what works for you!

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Last edited by ButterFLYING! on Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:57 am 
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BF is absolutely right Fuser. I took no steps in preparation of jumping off and JI and BF put the time, energy and effort into a good taper and felt tremendously better than I did on the same days. Your brain gets to adjust to a lower level with every decrease in dose and makes it that much easier. I basically steamrolled my brain while it was cruising happily along on autopilot!


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