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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:46 am 
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I am new to this, so please be patient with me.

I started drinking poppy tea when I was 19 to help with the anxiety and depression brought on by my parents' divorce. Fortunately, I didn't sustain this habit for more than 4 months. Like many of my peers, I experimented with alcohol, cocaine, and pot while in college. After seeing a severe drop in my grades (C's, D's, and F's), I quit all three cold turkey and made a commitment to myself that I would not accept anything less than straight A grades. I was able to keep this promise until my final semester when I discovered percocet.

I was 21 at the time. I would like to say that I used it for pain management at first, but unfortunately, that simply isn't true. I used it because when I took it I became the relaxed, happy, and emotionally satiated person I wanted to be. (During this time I was also in a very difficult co-dependent relationship which was emotionally exhausting.) I managed to graduate with a 3.76 GPA, despite breaking my promise to myself and receiving my first B grades in three years. I blamed senioritis, but in reality, my despondency was caused more by the brain numbing I was exacting with the percocet than anything else. During the early phase of my pill habit, I had a few friends who knew about my use...when they expressed concern I responded not by quitting, but by going underground.

I am now almost 26 and pills rule my life. I have never been caught, either by the law or friends/family.

I have two separate sources from which I obtain my D.O.C., and with a 70mg 2-3X day habit, I find that there are never quite enough pills. When I run out of pills I take kratom to stave off the horrible wd symptoms. My sources are quasi-friends who would rather hear that I sell the pills instead of taking them, even though I'm pretty sure they both know the truth by now.

Despite having an underground daily habit, I still have two jobs. I have managed to rack up quite a bit of personal debt in credit cards and from borrowing from my family, but compared to most of the stories I've read, I have managed to keep my destructive behavior isolated within myself and to a minimum. I have never "doctor-shopped" to obtain pain pills, nor have I resorted to stealing to get my fix, although were my supplies cut off, I cannot say that I would refrain from developing a mysterious and highly painful malady.

Recently I have been spurred into action by a "parting-of-the-clouds" experience. A friend came to visit me from out of town. I hadn't seen her since my freshman year in college, and in our catching up she shared her struggle with oxy addiction and how she had found help with suboxone therapy. Finally able to confide in someone, I shared my own experience. For the first time in five years I was able to level with someone and it felt like I was making the first crack in my secret cage. At her request I tried suboxone and I cannot say just how impactful it really was. I regained a glimpse of hope, and I felt as though the giant proverbial weight was miraculously lifted off of my shoulders. I felt normal and I felt for the FIRST TIME in half a decade that there might be a way out!

Since that moment (just over a week ago) I have scoured the internet spending every waking moment reading about opiate addiction recovery in an effort to learn more about my condition. In addition, I have researched the suboxone prescribing doctors in my area and have tried to find ones that will accept my insurance as well. (As many of you know, this isn't always the most simple task.)

My fear is that when I do go to an induction appointment, my use of opiates and the repercussions of my habit won't be severe enough to qualify me to the program. I haven't had repeated attempts at recovery, I just haven't ever stopped for more than a week or at most three at a time. Similarly, I haven't wrecked my life by going on criminal rampages either. To the outside world, I look like a normal person. But I am lonely and isolated, trapped in my self-created private hell. By recognizing and facing my addiction I have the let the genie out of the bottle. I cannot un-admit that I have a problem. I need to face it.

In recognizing once and for all that I am in serious need of help, I am both overwhelmed and relieved. In truth, I cannot imagine not taking pills everyday, but I also know in the fibers of my being that I am on a very unsustainable path. My work is suffering, as are my relationships. More and more I have been isolating myself at the expense of everything. I have no energy for friends or family, even my amazing boyfriend has begun to suspect something now that we are living together and in each other's company more frequently. I fantasize everyday about telling him about my addiction. We have been together for 8 months now and he is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want more than anything to come clean to him because I know it is a wedge that has the potential to split us apart. I also know that he will accept me and do everything in his power to help me, but I want to be in recovery before I tell him. I need to show him that I am taking steps to be well.

If you are still reading, any advice as to whether or not I am a good candidate for suboxone would be greatly appreciated. No matter what, I will make the appointment and see a Dr., because in my research I have confirmed (what I already knew), that five years of chronic opiate abuse has changed the pathways in my brain so that not only am I physiologically dependent on the drug to feel normal, but I will also have a long and surely tedious road back to health and recovery. I recognize that I foolishly administered a self treatment of opiates for my anxiety and depression, and that even once clean I will still have these underlying problems to deal with.

Thank you for listening.

I appreciate reading all of the personal stories on this site, and I hope that I may become a member of this community. It is so much better to share than to be isolated.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:19 am 
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Hey, you just described me!
Ok, seriously, change a few of the details and circumstances, and you just described my life. Well actually you described most functioning addicts- a person who is addicted to a substance while at the same time maintaining a "normal" lifestyle. Some people have an idea that all addicts are train wrecks. This couldn't be further from the truth. You don't have to hit rock bottom before you are "allowed" to receive help. If anything, consider yourself lucky enough to have not lost everything in your world already... .because chances are, you just haven't YET.

And hey, don't beat yourself up- you mentioned a couple times that this was "self-inflicted" and you need to just get rid of that mindset. It does zero good. One day at a time, for here on out.

Kudos for getting help before its too late and good luck with your recovery.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:34 am 
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First I have to ask how do you keep a Percocet habbit for 5 yrs? They usually last about a month and then there to weak to get you high.. If you feel your really addicted and cant stop then take subs. If your not really addicted but like how u feel on them you should double think it because you will become addicted to subs and have that whole issue on your hands. I like you no1 knows I'm a addict but some friends always kept a good job and had money never stolen a thing but the doctors don't only take nut jobs every addict is ok for subs.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 4:23 am 
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To answer your question: I was never exposed or sought after anything harder/stronger than 10mg percocet. When I first started I would take a half of one pill. Now I take 7 or more at once two to three times a day (sometimes more if I am working a double shift). By the way, when I take 7 10mg percocet at one time it doesn't make me deliriously high, it basically makes me feel normal and energized.

When I run out, which happens much quicker than it used to, I wait until I am able to buy more. It is usually no more than a week until one of my sources has more to sell. In between I take kratom. It doesn't do much of anything except make me feel moderately less bad. Essentially, it curbs the withdrawals enough so that I am able to go to work without sobbing and shaking. I'm not high or happy, but I am more or less functional. I'm not an expert on addiction, but I assume that because I have these "breaks" between availability of pills this has allowed it to take longer for my tolerance to go up. The cravings are ridiculous. I will stop anything to go and pick up my next "order." I will make any excuse to anyone.

As far as suboxone goes, I understand that it can be addictive if used incorrectly or for a long stretch of time. I don't want to trade one addiction for another, I just don't think that I can do it on my own. I have tried to stop this cycle, but the wds, cravings, and severe depression gets me every time. I'm looking at suboxone as one part of a two-part plan, the second part being one-on-one counseling with a therapist.

Because I'm a highly private person and I live in a fairly rural area, I don't feel comfortable going to NA meetings. At least not immediately. I would like to find a really good therapist that I can meet either weekly or monthly, (I'm not sure what the norm is) and who also accepts my insurance (which btw doesn't cover the sub Dr.s in my area). I feel that I need to give this my best shot, and the idea of tapering slowly off of suboxone while being monitored by medical professionals seems like a better alternative than most.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels that they don't want to come out with their addiction unless they can be helped.


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 Post subject: Re: REPLY FROM SLIPPER
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:06 am 
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goblinwithin wrote:
I am new to this, so please be patient with me.

I started drinking poppy tea when I was 19 to help with the anxiety and depression brought on by my parents' divorce. Fortunately, I didn't sustain this habit for more than 4 months. Like many of my peers, I experimented with alcohol, cocaine, and pot while in college. After seeing a severe drop in my grades (C's, D's, and F's), I quit all three cold turkey and made a commitment to myself that I would not accept anything less than straight A grades. I was able to keep this promise until my final semester when I discovered percocet.

I was 21 at the time. I would like to say that I used it for pain management at first, but unfortunately, that simply isn't true. I used it because when I took it I became the relaxed, happy, and emotionally satiated person I wanted to be. (During this time I was also in a very difficult co-dependent relationship which was emotionally exhausting.) I managed to graduate with a 3.76 GPA, despite breaking my promise to myself and receiving my first B grades in three years. I blamed senioritis, but in reality, my despondency was caused more by the brain numbing I was exacting with the percocet than anything else. During the early phase of my pill habit, I had a few friends who knew about my use...when they expressed concern I responded not by quitting, but by going underground.

I am now almost 26 and pills rule my life. I have never been caught, either by the law or friends/family.

I have two separate sources from which I obtain my D.O.C., and with a 70mg 2-3X day habit, I find that there are never quite enough pills. When I run out of pills I take kratom to stave off the horrible wd symptoms. My sources are quasi-friends who would rather hear that I sell the pills instead of taking them, even though I'm pretty sure they both know the truth by now.

Despite having an underground daily habit, I still have two jobs. I have managed to rack up quite a bit of personal debt in credit cards and from borrowing from my family, but compared to most of the stories I've read, I have managed to keep my destructive behavior isolated within myself and to a minimum. I have never "doctor-shopped" to obtain pain pills, nor have I resorted to stealing to get my fix, although were my supplies cut off, I cannot say that I would refrain from developing a mysterious and highly painful malady.

Recently I have been spurred into action by a "parting-of-the-clouds" experience. A friend came to visit me from out of town. I hadn't seen her since my freshman year in college, and in our catching up she shared her struggle with oxy addiction and how she had found help with suboxone therapy. Finally able to confide in someone, I shared my own experience. For the first time in five years I was able to level with someone and it felt like I was making the first crack in my secret cage. At her request I tried suboxone and I cannot say just how impactful it really was. I regained a glimpse of hope, and I felt as though the giant proverbial weight was miraculously lifted off of my shoulders. I felt normal and I felt for the FIRST TIME in half a decade that there might be a way out!

Since that moment (just over a week ago) I have scoured the internet spending every waking moment reading about opiate addiction recovery in an effort to learn more about my condition. In addition, I have researched the suboxone prescribing doctors in my area and have tried to find ones that will accept my insurance as well. (As many of you know, this isn't always the most simple task.)

My fear is that when I do go to an induction appointment, my use of opiates and the repercussions of my habit won't be severe enough to qualify me to the program. I haven't had repeated attempts at recovery, I just haven't ever stopped for more than a week or at most three at a time. Similarly, I haven't wrecked my life by going on criminal rampages either. To the outside world, I look like a normal person. But I am lonely and isolated, trapped in my self-created private hell. By recognizing and facing my addiction I have the let the genie out of the bottle. I cannot un-admit that I have a problem. I need to face it.

In recognizing once and for all that I am in serious need of help, I am both overwhelmed and relieved. In truth, I cannot imagine not taking pills everyday, but I also know in the fibers of my being that I am on a very unsustainable path. My work is suffering, as are my relationships. More and more I have been isolating myself at the expense of everything. I have no energy for friends or family, even my amazing boyfriend has begun to suspect something now that we are living together and in each other's company more frequently. I fantasize everyday about telling him about my addiction. We have been together for 8 months now and he is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want more than anything to come clean to him because I know it is a wedge that has the potential to split us apart. I also know that he will accept me and do everything in his power to help me, but I want to be in recovery before I tell him. I need to show him that I am taking steps to be well.

If you are still reading, any advice as to whether or not I am a good candidate for suboxone would be greatly appreciated. No matter what, I will make the appointment and see a Dr., because in my research I have confirmed (what I already knew), that five years of chronic opiate abuse has changed the pathways in my brain so that not only am I physiologically dependent on the drug to feel normal, but I will also have a long and surely tedious road back to health and recovery. I recognize that I foolishly administered a self treatment of opiates for my anxiety and depression, and that even once clean I will still have these underlying problems to deal with.

Thank you for listening.

I appreciate reading all of the personal stories on this site, and I hope that I may become a member of this community. It is so much better to share than to be isolated.










Hi Gobletwithin and welcome to the forum!

You are asking if you qualify...yes you do...I like you was a closet addict...telling no one and finally decided to get some help. The suboxone saved my life...the first time i took it i felt a little high but after that just felt normal. Just feeling normal for the first time in years was a miracle. I would suggest you find a sub Dr. right away..and just tell him your storyl It will be plenty enough for you to get some subs. I no longer have cravings for hydrocodone. I never even think about them. At last I am free..I get out more, learning how to live all over again.

Good luck to you and let us hee abour your progress.

Slipper

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"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:27 am 
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Hey goblinwithin, I am so glad you found suboxone and this forum! Don't worry about people saying you are not a bad enough addict, everyone's tolerance to drugs is different. Just because you didn't graduate to stronger drugs like oxy or heroin doesn't mean that you wont qualify for treatment for suboxone or that you aren't really an addict! My story is similar to yours. I was an active "functioning" addict for about 2 years. Very few people in my life knew about my drug use, I had gotten up to taking a minimum of 10-15 pills a day. Also taking large amounts at a time (7-8 pills). When my prescription came in for the month I would binge on them until they were gone, usually going through 90pills in about 5-6 days. Then I would buy from various contacts for the rest of the month. I agree, the breaks in use while waiting on a supplier to come through helps your tolerance to kind of reset itself a bit. But it is also a miserable way to live because you are going through withdrawals during that time. I was either on top of the world or down for the count for days at a time. Picking up the phone every 30 min. to "check in" with my dealers. It SUCKS!!!!! Yes, you definitely want to be careful not to get on subs just because you "like" the way they make you feel. I don't think that is what you are doing. If you are an addict then these things can save your life. Taking that much percocet daily WILL kill your liver, and eventually you will probably graduate to stronger drugs to feed your addiction. I think it is great that you are choosing to get help before you wind up doing more damage to your body or your career/relationships. You can be sure that eventually the secret would have gotten out. I hid my addiction from everyone for two years. But in the end my husband started suspecting my use and I finally came clean with him. I did alot of damage to his trust in me and I know I will spend a long time repairing that damage.

I hope that you are able to find a good doctor, and that you can find a therapist that will help you. Suboxone is not a magic pill, it won't cure you by itself. You will have to do alot of work on yourself while taking it to be sure you are prepared to come off of it in the end. Your doctor and therapist will help you work through all of this. Good luck! Let us know when you are induced!

~ Qhorsegal


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 1:13 am 
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Bella468, Qhorsegal, and Slipper,

Thank you for sharing your experiences and making me feel welcome. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. I was crying when I read your posts. Needless to say, It has taken everything for me to push past my anxieties and be this candid about my addiction, and to feel understood and supported is great motivation for continued work. I understand that this is only the first step and that Suboxone must be used as a tool in my recovery, not a crutch. I feel grateful to have stumbled upon this site and to have received such helpful and meaningful responses. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

To keep you posted on my progress: I literally have ONE option for a Suboxone prescribing doctor within 100 miles of my location...and naturally, he doesn't accept my insurance. Despite the high price he charges, I have decided that I would much rather be spending the $$ on my recovery rather than continuing to fuel my addiction. Hopeless pit vs. light at end of tunnel...hmmmmmm. Yep, light.

With that mindset I tried to make an appointment today, but unfortunately, the doctor is out of town until the 17th (a little over a week from now) and he is booked solid until mid-May (although fortunately he IS still accepting new patients). Also, his receptionist said that they try to make new inductions a priority and once an appointment has been solidified, they will contact you if you are the next person in line if something opens up sooner, which I thought was helpful!

I have put aside the $350.00 fee that is charged for the first appointment and I'm not allowing myself to go near it for ANY other purpose. My challenge now is to stay focused during the next four to five weeks until my first appointment and set my sights for the long term. I am setting a course for my freedom from pills, and that is what I need to remember.

As far as follow up appointments go, (I'm assuming because this DR has a monopoly in the area) he charges $235.00 a pop. I'm curious as to what the average cost is for follow up visits.

Can you tell me, if I am accepted into the program, how often I can expect to follow up in the first month? (Any subjective experiences are appreciated, I understand that they will likely vary by doctor and patient.) I would just like to know how to budget. Considering I will be saving money from not buying pills, I'm hoping that the transferred cost will be close enough to work... Finally, I'm hoping to find a therapist who either accepts my insurance or has a sliding scale.

I hope that all of you have found a DR who doesn't charge you more than you can manage. After reading many stories, it seems that the issue of cost has become a major road block for continuing Suboxone assisted therapy.

I will keep you posted on my progress. I wish you continued success with your recovery.


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 Post subject: liver check too!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 1:59 am 
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Hi goblinwithin,
Am I assuming correctly, that your gobbling 21 perc's, without removing the acetaminophen? If so that's one hell of a hit to your liver. The doctor will probably take some blood to check it anyway.
Acetaminophen, crystalizes like broken razor blades, so you can see how a build up of it in the liver and elsewhere can cause major problems down the road. I think your decision to get help is wise, the sooner the better.
Sub at the right dose is a godsend. It'll give you time to re-evaluate, deal with the issues in your own time, in a normal frame of mind.
Good Luck


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:21 am 
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Stargazer,

Yes, your assumption is correct. I have worried about this in the past but I never did the research to find out just how terrible I had been treating my liver. Thanks for the information.

I couldn't agree more, the soon the better...Now I'm going to go read about just how f&%$ed my liver will be in 10 years. Can you recommend any legitimate techniques for cleansing that might help alleviate this build up?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:42 am 
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Hello again goblin,

Don't worry to much about damage to your liver right now. Yes, there is a chance you have done some damage. I don't know of any cleansing methods, but I have heard that the liver has an AMAZING ability to heal itself. I was very worried about my bloodwork results too, and everything turned out to be fine. I would say that your doctor will probably run bloodwork for you on your first visit. Try to stay calm about that and deal with it when you have too. Chances are you are fine and you will have worried for no reason. My mom was taking a very high number of hydro's and Perc's everyday for about 10 years. Her bloodwork came back fine. The most extreme case I have heard of personally is a family friend who was taking 30 Norcos per day for like 10 years, she was fine too. Not to say that it can't happen. I just mean that you shouldn't worry over something you can't control if you can help it. Focus on getting clean, either way that has to be your first step. Keep us the good work!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:48 am 
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goblinwithin wrote:
Bella468, Qhorsegal, and Slipper,
As far as follow up appointments go, (I'm assuming because this DR has a monopoly in the area) he charges $235.00 a pop. I'm curious as to what the average cost is for follow up visits.

Can you tell me, if I am accepted into the program, how often I can expect to follow up in the first month? (Any subjective experiences are appreciated, I understand that they will likely vary by doctor and patient.) I would just like to know how to budget. Considering I will be saving money from not buying pills, I'm hoping that the transferred cost will be close enough to work... Finally, I'm hoping to find a therapist who either accepts my insurance or has a sliding scale.

I hope that all of you have found a DR who doesn't charge you more than you can manage. After reading many stories, it seems that the issue of cost has become a major road block for continuing Suboxone assisted therapy.

I will keep you posted on my progress. I wish you continued success with your recovery.



Quote:
Can you tell me, if I am accepted into the program, how often I can expect to follow up in the first month? (Any subjective experiences are appreciated, I understand that they will likely vary by doctor and patient.)


This does vary from doctor to doctor...I have seen doctors that make you come every week for the first couple of months, and also have seen doctors that start out with making you come once per month. My doctor talked it over with me when I went to him, and since he was my 3rd doctor since starting suboxone -- and I really didn't need an "induction", I was already ON suboxone, he allowed me to come to see him once every 3 months, due to my financial situation. That was nearly 3 years ago, and things have changed in my financial status...but he still lets me come see him once every 3 months. He has gone up tremendously in price since he first started suboxone treatment in this area...I saw him come into the area and he started out charging only $250 for new patients - cash without insurance (he DOES accept insurance), and follow-ups at $100 each follow-up...Insurance prices are different, depending on the policy...but he also accepts medicare.

So you could be asked to come back every week, come back every 2 weeks, or even come back every month. Most doctors don't allow their new Suboxone inductions to come every 3 months starting out..you have to REALLY prove yourself to get 3-month visits...and I have a very long track record of being a good patient with Suboxone...so I've given my doctor no reason to change me from the course I started on.


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I hope that all of you have found a DR who doesn't charge you more than you can manage. After reading many stories, it seems that the issue of cost has become a major road block for continuing Suboxone assisted therapy.



It sounds harsh, but this is probably the most likely reason people quit doing the Suboxone program...they either run into financial difficulties or something happens that makes them no longer able to see the doctor they have been seeing...doctors retire, they move from one practice to another...or various other things happen...

The doctor I'm with now started out in an office 15 minutes away from me....this was excellent, because I was driving over an hour to see the doctor that I was with, and I needed something closer...so I changed doctors. Once I had been his patient for nearly 2 years (in November of last year) he moved into Birmingham, which is almost 45 minutes away...which could've been issue for me, but it wasn't. He didn't start-over his patient roster, just switched offices and moved all his area patients near me to that office.
Lots of people will post problems they encounter but don't let that discourage you...there are still many good doctors out there, but just remember to be honest and don't hide anything from the doctor when you talk with him. Building a foundation of trust is key to having a doctor that will work with you and give you benefit of doubt when the need arises. Never know what might happen, but if you have any mistrust with the doctor, and for instance the pharmacy screws up your suboxone and shorts you a bunch...the doctor can just assume that you're not telling the truth..so it helps to be completely open with them.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:03 am 
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Sorry I forgot to respond to part of your question. I see that Jonathan told you his experiences with his docs. It seems to be pretty common for doctors in my area to work similar to mine. I went in the first day for discussion and to determine if he would treat me (this was Monday). Then went home to detox for 24 hours. Went back in on Wednesday morning for induction. Then back in on Thursday morning to get final dose and observation. Sent home with script for two weeks. Returned in two weeks for urine analysis and check in on how my dose was going. Released with new script for one month. So from now on I think I will have to go monthly, each visit requires a urine analysis.


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 Post subject: clearing the liver
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:28 am 
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Yo goblinwithin,
The liver is also known as The Seat of Anger, and luckily it has a strong potential to heal itself. However these days it's hard to avoid loading chemical's into the liver, pesticide laced foods, dyes, deoderants, preservatives etc, so you've got to be carefull what you put on and in your body..
I had chronic liver disease 35 years ago, but now I'm pretty much healthy.
You can get pure water and drink lots of it, never drink spirits and very little wine or beer.
Greasy food is no good for the liver either, nor is breathing fuel fumes or getting it spilt on you. [that gives me a migraine still]. There is plenty of good herbs like the mints and sages to make tea, plenty of citrus and vegie greens juiced are really good for cleasing the liver. Tumeric and garlic are number 1 too! A liver function test will show if there is any damage, but I'd take a pro active approach anyway.
I might sound a bit nutty, but, growling out loud in private, as an exercise seemed to have a positive effect also, sort of like letting out the negative energy, getting it off your chest [side], so to say.
Anyway I hope it work's out O.K., you are young and have a lot of living to do, without those pills, life will be a whole lot sweeter.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:49 pm 
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That's good info stargazer, thanks! I'm trying to clean myself out too since starting in treatment. As I said above, my bloodwork came back fine as far as liver function goes, but I did have high cholesterol. So I am having to change my diet up alot. I may try to incorporate some of the tips you gave to goblinwithin.


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Hey and welcome.. i also took percocet 10's for almost a year went from a couple a day to 8-12 a day. no one knew i took them except my boyfriend and even with him he never knew how much. i had a script from my old doc for them and she would give me a lot a month and i would still run out early (car accident, back problems) Someone said in an earlier post that you" dont have to be a train wreck or hit rock bottom to get help" is very true. I was working , taking good care of my first baby boy , making dinner .. nothing crazy here lol.. but i knew i didnt want to go through withdrawl EVER again after my mom had to keep my son for the night i was so sick. So i bit the bullet and got on subs in jan. I don't see why you wouldn't qualify. i took percocet never did anything stronger and on the outside seemed " happy and normal" . My doctors office is pretty cool and there is a counselor i see there 2x a month which has actually been very helpful. At first i was really nervous about what would the pharmacist think, or the receptionist at the docs office, silly little pride things like that, but i got over it because i am much better off not taking percs, and working to recovery.. good luck to u!! let us know


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 Post subject: Percs to Sub
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:31 pm 
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A hearty Welcome to the Forum! You are already a member here just by posting and wanting to be part of.

You are concerned about being a good candidate for Suboxone therapy. I do understand what you mean when you say you haven't stolen any money or done dirty deeds to get your meds. A few chosen friends I've told of my addiction just can't seem to accept that I am an addict. They say I look and act way too professional to be "one of those people". Addicts have quite a reputation it seems. But let me give you another version.

I started taking pain meds for a messed up shoulder. Off it went from there and everyone knows the basic story. On the other hand I have an older brother who fell off a ladder and broke his hip two years ago. The pain was very high and he ended up on Oxy's and other strong meds. When the time came to wean off them, his doctor (pain clinic) used Suboxone to wean him down less painfully. He was off the meds in less than six months. Is he an addict? Absolutely not. Did he take them as prescribed? Yes. So his case is way different than yours and his doctor decided he was qualified. So yes, you are a good candidate.

Finding a doctor who will take your insurance may prove to be a problem. I lived in a very large county and only found one within 100 miles who would take it. Bless his heart. He and his nurse/wife are in the business of treating addiction and not making tons of money.

Here in Las Vegas, once again I only found one. The rest want cash only and it is very expensive. Just do the cross reference with the NAABT site and your insurance approved providers. I spent quite a lot of time on the phone to find both of them but I'm glad I did the footwork.

So for now just focus on finding a Dr., getting on the proper dose, and then you'll have time to change some of those bad triggers of addiction. When you are ready to get off of Suboxone, read all the success stories here and they'll show you the way.

You will do great!

Rule

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:15 am 
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First of all, thank you to everyone who replied with advice and their own experiences. No matter how varied, all experiences are of utmost value to me.

Rule62: I laughed when I read your posting about your friends telling you that you were too professional to be an addict. That is how I feel! Not that I'm planning on sharing this information with anyone in my inner circle except for a few very close allies, but I would venture to guess that I would be in the top 5 "least likely to be an addict" for many of my friends and co-workers...if people had those lists... :) Oh, and thanks for the tip to cross reference with the NAABT. Have any of you come across this page in your research? http://www.hbo.com/addiction/treatment/ ... rance.html
It discusses the laws enacted to cover drug rehabilitation that have been enacted in 43 states. I had never heard of this before, but I'm not surprised either. When I called the SAMHSA hotline the gal recommended that I keep calling my insurance until I got someone on the line who would tell me yes. After reading the above article, I think she may be onto something.

Honeybee415: Thanks for sharing your experience taking percocet 10's. When I first started doing research into opiate addiction I kept wondering asking myself how bad it had to get before I could give myself permission to get help, compared to others who had lost their families and who had had multiple stints in rehab, my experience didn't seem like I had anything to complain about. The quote from Half Baked when Thurgood goes to rehab always comes to mind, "You're addicted to weed man, WEED?" This is how I felt when reading about people who have really had a down and out time of it. But you guys are right, it's not as if I will be rejected help just because I didn't hit rock bottom. It seems like a strange thing to not recognize, but that's what happens when the only input about my addiction was coming from the reverberations of my own mind. It is good to be breaking free of these thought patterns, even at this early stage... So this is what growth is?! Nice!

Stargazer: Thank you for the helpful tips on liver detoxification. I'm definitely interested in knowing what my blood results will say. Also, I have always had sporadic cluster headaches, but recently I've been getting full on tension nightmare headaches (I feel one coming on right now...bleh!). I'm starting to put it together that this might be related. I just received a massage for the first time in 8 months and I can feel the toxicity in my blood...I think this is the reason for the headache. More water! Finally, thanks for the growling tip. I like it.

Jonathon1978: Thanks for your personal experience with cost and in finding the right Doctor. I agree that shopping around is key. I'm currently looking at a Dr. who is an hour's drive away primarily because of cost. (She also seems to care about the treatment of opiate addiction more than the local Dr., my assumption is based on his primary business being in pain management with 3x higher office fees for his suboxone patients.) I'm trying to be as smart about this as possible. I've done so much research now that when I called a Dr. today he assumed that I had been on Suboxone for some time because I knew so much about the process and what questions to ask. I agree with you completely that one should be as honest and trustworthy as possible in an effort to create a relationship with your doctor, I know it can be difficult to be treated with respect when dealing with addiction, but it seems as though this rapport is a pretty good indicator of how successful you will be with said doctor. It would be great to find a Dr. who also cares about how my counseling is going outside of his or her immediate care. I'm so glad that you found that for yourself.

Ghorsegal: Thanks for you ongoing support and personal experiences. I'm happy to hear that (in your mom's case especially) the liver is an especially resilient organ. It sounds as though you are pretty satisfied with your Dr. currently. Tell me, how long was the induction appointment, and the one following on Thursday? Would you recommend going to work afterward? I'm pretty sure I can take some time off if I schedule for it, but I would prefer to miss as little as possible...I work for a small company and people tend to ask a lot of questions.

If there is anything that I didn't address about your reply, I apologize, but please know that like I said, they are much appreciated. I will keep you guys posted. Cross your fingers that the out-of-town dr. has an opening for me next week! I will keep you guys posted for sure.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:41 am 
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Hey Goblin....I think you are going to do great! It seems like you are really taking this seriously even before you begin your treatment. That is a really good thing, knowledge is power. As for my experience with induction...my initial appointment was scheduled at 7:30am and I was there until about 10:30. I have to say that I think I would have been okay to go to work afterward as long as my job wasn't very physical. I was still a bit tired and weak the first day but mentally I was spot on. It sounds like you are in more of a professional line of work...I think you can pull it off if you have to but of course you will want to use your own judgment. I think everyone's experience is different. My next day's appointment was much quicker. I think it only lasted about an hour and a half.

Good luck with your search for a doctor. Keep posting and let us know how your doing. I think you are going to be a great addition to this forum!


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 Post subject: Made an appointment!
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 5:15 am 
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Hi everybody,

I just wanted to post a quick bit of good news. I was contacted by a Dr. after registering with the NAABT provider match service. (If anyone reading this is new like me I suggest using this service, it was less than 24hours before I was contacted). I made an appointment with this out-of-town Dr. who accepts my insurance and who also charges a much lessor fee than the local Dr. They were able to schedule me for next Wednesday!

Furthermore, I got a call from ANOTHER out-of-town Dr. who was very compassionate and helpful. I let her know that I would keep my appt. with the first Dr., but if it didn't seem like a good fit, that I would make an appointment with her.

I'm SO glad I made all of those phone calls and did my research, if I would have settled for the first available Dr. I would be paying up to 5x more and would very likely be treated as a cash cow.

Thanks to everyone for your personal experiences and ongoing support. I will let you know how my first appointment goes next Wednesday!

Goblin


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 7:51 am 
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Welcome :)

IMO you qualify for addiction treatment the moment you can no longer control your drug use. Once a person gets to the point of seeking help, they need help. Doctors are all too aware that addiction transcends socio-economic status. They gets patients of all shapes and sizes, so I doubt he/she will hold your background against you.

You may be a functioning addict now, but as long as your addiction remains untreated, it's only a matter of time before the addiction erodes your functioning and the closet you hide your addiction in. It sounds like it's already taken a hit. As long as we keep using it only gets worse, not better.

After hanging out here for a couple of years and talking to others on Sub, I've yet to hear of a person being denied treatment for not being enough of an addict. Sometimes people who were never even addicted to opioids, only dependent, are put on Suboxone. I'd be really surprised if a doctor knocked you back because you appeared too educated to be an addict, and if they did it's probably best you find another doctor anyway.

I guess the aim would be to stabilise on Suboxone and realise your potential again, have a taste of life free of addiction, work on some of those issues that drove you to seek solace in drugs. Perfectionism? (OMG you got a B??? )

Give yourself a break. You're only human. Stick around - this place helps a lot of people.


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