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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 8:57 am 
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1. My smart, beautiful, loving children

2. My husband who does so much for this family

3. My home, surrounded by state forest, where I can watch the wildlife right from my window

4. The fact that we still have income & insurance even though my husband has been out on injury. I know so many people...as soon as they get hurt its all over.

5. Health, and the daily choice to stay clean

Diary - thanks for starting this thread
Hatmaker - congrats on the new job, and I'm glad your husband is finally going to get butrans
Queenie! - So glad to have you back. You've been through so much and you sound so positive. What an inspiration!


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 5:51 pm 
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Things I am thankful for today:

#1---The sunshine on my face.

#2---A pair of shoes that fit and feel good. With my craptacular ankles, finding a pair of shoes that are comfortable is a chore!

#3---5 inches of snow in the winter so my daughter and I can go sledding.

#4---Vacation time from work.

#5---Gyros from the Charcoal Pit. YUM!!

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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 5:46 pm 
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#1----Love. Everyday I realize how love for myself, the love of others and loving others is like the glue that holds me together. Without it, I would just be a pile of atoms on the floor.

#2---Cell Phones. Not so much when my boss calls though, he's a pain in the ass.

#3---Water Skiing. Love It!!

#4---The wind. I love watching the wind blow through a field of wheat. It's so unpredictable, so random and so cool to watch its effects.

#5---The kindness of strangers.

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 Post subject: AWESOME THREAD!!
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 6:22 pm 
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1) SLEEPING Babies!!!!

2) The most wonderful, thoughtful, supportive husband in the world

3) Coffee

4) My GIANT clawfoot bathtub with jets.....I could live in it, I love it SO MUCH!!!

5) God's gift.....My HEALTHY Baby Boy


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 1:29 am 
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So, I am on "computer restriction" because I am having some kind of edema in my feet and ankles. Apparently my feet are pregnant, even though the rest of me isn't. I'm not supposed to sit or stand for long periods because I'm supposed to keep my feet elevated above my heart. I'm off to the doctor tomorrow to see if it's anything serious, which I'm sure it isn't. And the whole reason I'm telling you all this is to excuse myself from missing my 5 Things post yesterday.

Even though I missed yesterday's post, I truely did think of things I was grateful for at several times during the day. After doing this exercise for just a few days I've noticed a change in my outlook. It's like my subconsious mind is keeping an eye out for good things, and when something nice happens a little flare goes off: Hey, check it out, something to be grateful for.

On to today's list:

1. I have medical coverage. I am so thankful that I can call up and make a doctor appointment when something like this current edema thing happens. I don't have to put it off and worry that it might be something more serious. And I'm so grateful that my prescriptions are covered. I take a few medications for chronic issues and it's a load off stress off my mind to not have to worry about how I will pay for them.

2. My grandmother-in-law (she's my partner's grandma). She is such a sweet lady and she has been so kind and generous to me and J and our daughter.

3. I have friends that forgive me for falling out of touch when I get depressed. So many of my friends are so kind and understanding about my mental health issues. I don't know what I would do without them.

4. Netflix and Hulu. Yes, maybe this seems a little shallow, BUT: I don't have (can't afford) cable TV. So instead of TV, we have a computer and we use Netflix and Hulu for our TV and movie watching entertainment needs. For 9 bucks a month I'm happier with the service we get than I ever was when I paid for cable. I've watched so many cool documentaries on streaming Netflix, and they always have something on there for the kids which was great when my girl was home sick for 2 weeks.

5. May Flowers! I took a little walk today and my neighborhood is a riot of colors. Beautiful tulips everywhere.

And a couple extra to make up for yesterday:

6. Sausage McMuffin for breakfast: Hey, when you only have a buck and you're running late, this is the perfect breakfast food.

7. The sound of kids playing baseball in the park accross the street - pure joy.

8. Friends that share music with me on Soundcloud. So cool!

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-Jack Kornfield


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 6:55 am 
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Diary I hope you get news that it's nothing serious.

My five things for today (or yesterday? Can't keep track):

1 - I'm a new GRANDMOTHER and that my grandson is healthy....

2- And on a related note, I'm grateful that this new baby may help bring a reconciliation between my husband and his son.

3 - I'm going to steal from Diary and also say that I have great health insurance!

4 - The feeling of spring sunshine on my skin.

5 - I've grown out of 100% of all of the allergies I had as a child and no longer have ANY allergies. This makes being outside as well as being around my pets much more pleasant!

Mazel Tov everyone and have a great day!

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject: johnboy
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 2:13 pm 
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i'm greatfull for having this forum.
and having you good posters and moderators,hat /ladder// diary /romeo/setmefreeand others.
3- this may sound odd. but my sex drive is more up and up on suboxone!!


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 7:47 pm 
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#1---I'm so grateful I live in a country where I can speak my mind and live how I see fit.

#2---A crystal clean and warm swimming pool.

#3---Salt.

#4---A well worn, loose fitting pair of jeans and a T-Shirt. By FAR, my favorite clothes to wear.

#5---Laying in a field with my daughter and looking up at the sky and telling each other what kind of things we see in the clouds.....and I thought I had a vivid imagination....she has me beat by a long shot!!!

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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 7:56 pm 
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[b][i]

1...I'm grateful today b/c my daug. is coming to visit from Ga. and it is the first time in years that I'm not out looking for pills out of fear of being in w/d while she is here.

2...I'm grateful for my home.

3...I'm grateful that I'm fairly healthy. I had been sick for quite some time.

4...I'm grateful for my 2 lil doggies that are always happy to see me.

5...I'm grateful for my grandson. He's the best gift of all.

I'm grateful I no longer have to carry that big heavy hairy monkey on my back. So thankful for that.


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 Post subject: Thursday Things
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 8:07 pm 
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1. The stunning view of Mt. Rainier I got to enjoy today as I drove to work.

2. Driving with my window down, fresh air flowing through the car, the wind whipping my hair all around.

3. The opportunity to learn new things at work.

4. The adorableness of little girls running a lemonade stand.

5. Getting the day off to take care of my health. (No word yet on why my feet are pregnant - I'll keep you posted!)

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-Jack Kornfield


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 Post subject: quality of life
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 7:58 am 
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DOAQ-You bring up a really great message, gratitude. AA/NA talks about gratitude quite a lot. I think even Oprah had a show about it. I know when I first went to treatment, and AA/NA that gratitude was not my highest priority. Self pity was. Poor me, in treatment, afraid of everything. It took me years to understand that treatment and recovery are a gift.

I've many times heard people in an AA meeting say "I'm a grateful alcoholic"....I would laugh to myself whenever I heard that back then.... Why would we be grateful to be an alcoholic or addict? I had no concept then that the quality of my life would improve exponentially when I began doing the work I needed to do in recovery. I couldn't understand how changing myself could even happen, not to mention having gratitude for those changes.

I think gratitude is a subject I need to remember daily. I used to have a gratitude journal...my first sponsor made me do that...I don't have one now but when I get down or am feeling sorry for myself for something like not being with my daughter I remember where I'm at and how I got here. And I believe many of the lessons in my life have been to humble me, to make me appreciate what God's given me.

I used to want everything...and when I got what I thought I wanted I wanted more. I spent a lot of time not being present with people because I was always thinking about ways to change where I was or what I was doing. I don't live like that any more. I've had a lot of loss and this year I've had the worst loss of all....and the reason I say I don't live like that any more is because the loss I had to deal with made me change how I live and moved me into this place of learning to be more present.

Sometimes I think we expect that when we get into recovery everything that happens in our lives will be good. So imagine my surprise when in recovery things started to go bad for me. It wasn't long before I was so overwhelmed. Any gratitude I started to have at that time went out the window. I felt so sorry for myself....everyone was having babies but me. I had four miscarriages in 2 years...and my friends were popping out babies left and right. I'd look longingly in the back seat of my car wishing I had a car seat in there with a baby. As I grieved those losses I opened myself up to the idea of a child coming in a completely different package. We ended up adopting a little girl from China. Adopting my daughter changed me. Going to China changed me even more...walking into her orphanage the day after I got her I couldn't even get up the stairs to see her old bedroom because I was crying so hard....crying because I was mortified that she lived there for 10 months, (even though it was one of the best orphanages in China), crying when I looked at other babies who were not being adopted but holding their arms out for us to hold them, but not being able to because they had skin diseases that were contagious. (My daughter had scabies when I got her, she was only 10 months old), crying because half of the babies in that orphaage of 750 children would NOT ever have a chance of adoption because they had special needs, and crying because I was so grateful for my daughter. Had I not been in recovery, or started working on the things that I needed to do to live life with quality I wouldn't have been able to have her in my life.

Now, she has been ripped from me, but I am still grateful. I have to remain grateful because I could easily dive into self pity and stay there. But I'm hopeful and have faith that there is a bigger plan out there. I don't know the exact reasons why I am having to endure this kind of pain and loss...and believe me I didn't think I'd ever get out of it..it took me 4 years to stop hurting and stop the uncontrollable crying jags I'd go on missing my daughter...I know she'll be back in my life so in the meantime I continue to get healthier, work on myself, be happy with what I DO have, and be grateful that I was able to get back into recovery after relapsing.

So, the point of this for me is that gratitude keeps me going forward and helps me appreciate every tiny thing that happens that is positive in my life. I don't take much for granted any more. But most of all, I am present for the people in my life. I slowed down to a pace that allows me to feel serene and hopefully exude that at some level for others. And gratitude also helps me stop living in the future....I'll be happy IF this happens, or IF my daughter is here, of IF I make this much money, or IF IF IF.....no, I'm happy now. If I wasn't in recovery, and despite my fears of long term Sub use, if I hadn't started on Sub I might not ever have gotten to this place emotionally....so now I understand when someone says 'I'm a grateful addict/alcoholic.'


Last edited by chinagirl on Fri May 20, 2011 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 8:04 am 
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Today's list of things I'm grateful for:

1 - I got the job I was up for!

2 - I have a wonderful step-daughter who loves me and who I adore.

3 - The flowers finally blooming, after much fussing and fighting with spring.

4 - I have a terrific hairdresser! (In the category the little things in life.)

5 - Finally, I'm extremely grateful to a fellow addict who helped me out with a free refurbished computer last year when mine crapped out - just because he was able to. How often does that happen?

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject: my 5 for Friday
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 5:58 pm 
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1. I am kid-free! All my babies are with the grandparents til Sunday!

2. I have amazing people in my life! My mom is not in a good place physically or mentally and the support and love I have been shown has blown my mind.

3. I get to sleep in bed with my husband tonight! With 3 kids this is a big one!

4. The new York housewives...my favorite guilty pleasure tv show.

5. I hear the suns suppose to make an appearance this weekend!

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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. -Elizabeth Stone


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 Post subject: Friday I'm in Love...
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 12:22 am 
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[font=Arial]1. My feet are finally returning to normal, yay!

2. Pizza coupons.

3. Sandalwood incense.

4. Sunshine.

5. Blogs.[/font]

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-Jack Kornfield


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PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 2:22 am 
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#1---Sleep, when I get it.

#2---Bacon

#3---Clonidine

#4---Gatorade

#5---The fact that I learn, I may do things the hard way, but those lessons usually stick with me.

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PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 4:21 pm 
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1) An AWESOME O.B. whom kept his word and DIDN'T CHARGE US ANYTHING for prenatel care or for delivering our baby. He even went out of his way and called in a favor to reduce our hospital bill from almost $16,000 to about $1,500!!! There ARE still good people in this world!!!

2) CHOCOLATE


3) Jazz, especially whenever I need to unwind


4) The ability to make my newborn smile/laugh....that little face LIGHTS UP my world!


5) Diet Coke, gotta have caffeine!


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PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 4:37 pm 
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1 - My mom's visit to town wasn't fraught with drama or any issues - just a really nice visit.

2 - Spinach Manicotti

3 - I don't have to go to my sister's 4th wedding

4 - Crystal/glass nail files

5 - The right to vote

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:20 pm 
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I'm gonna try to do each of the 5 senses,

#1---the sound of wind chimes out my bedroom window.

#2---the sight of children playing.

#3---the smell of my wife's hair or my daughters hair.

#4---the touch of my wife's arms around me when she hugs me, well....the rest of her body against mine feels great too, I didn't want to get too graphic though. :D

#5---the taste of chocolate ice cream.

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PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 1:39 am 
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1. I had the opportunity to help out a lost, confused, homeless man today.

2. Red Vines.

3. Friendly customers all day long.

4. Iced soy-chai with a double shot, aka "Dirty Choi"

5. Free books from the lending library in my MIL's condo. They have a bookcase in the lobby of her building where you can put books for people to take and there was a bunch of great stuff there today, so now I have 6 new books to read!

----------------

Hat - I love the juxtaposition of "glass nail files" and "the right to vote." Pure awesome.

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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

-Jack Kornfield


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 Post subject: My 5 things
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 7:23 am 
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[font=Georgia] [/font]

Hello, can I join in please? This has been really nice reading all the different thoughts. Here are mine for today:


1. The weather here in London has been fantastic for about the last 2 months - warm and sunny,

2. My mum and dad (who I have not seen in 18 months) but will be seeing in 2 weeks time.

3. I've realised the fact we have the free National Health Service (NHS) here in the UK makes us very very lucky in deed. From reading some posts on this site I realise it's so different over there in the US in that you have to have healthcare and insurance.

4. Feeling healthy and w/d free

5. I am so so so happy that I found this site - it is helping me mentally in getting over my drug problem.


OH I'm going to write 5 more whilst I came in on the thread late:


1. My pet fish (Splish, Splash, Patch, Mini and Me) - they make me laugh.

2. My Step children who come to us every other weekend.

3. The wind blowing through the open window of my bedroon as I write this in bed propped up on pillows.

4. I am grateful for finally getting it into my head that all I need to do is take one day at a time, not to be hard on myself, but to remind my self that it's OK, what's happened has happened but now it is getting fixed.

5. Silicone egg poachers - makes making poached eggs on toast so much easier! yummy


cheerio for now you wonderful people

C xxx

PS I am also a Taurus x

:lol:


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