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 Post subject: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:28 am 
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As of now, I am 7 days clean and not looking back!:)

Thought I’d post my experience and also add to this thread down the line. I had been silently reading posts on this website for months, but could not allow myself to get on when I jumped or between then and now, because really it just gave me so much anxiety reading horror stories that it consumed me.

History:
Did H for 5 straight years, only detoxed twice and only lasted a month each time before I began inhaling again.
Got a script for suboxone, on it for past 3 years. First prescribed, but last 2 years been getting off the street. Started at 8mg and for the past few years got down to 6 mg. Over about 4 months, I tapered and forced myself to get down to 0.20 mg strip. Tried skipping days, getting lower, but just couldn’t do it.

So I jumped. Took 1 week off of work. And I screwed up.
About 16 hours into it, I was in and out of the shower, consumed by anxiety, horrible RLS, laying on the bathroom floor.
Took .15 mg Clonidine, Nyquil, neither really helped, looked around for any relief. I found a very small amount of a suboxone pill that was pretty much dust. So I took a small amount, slept like a baby, the next day I felt so calm that I went a whole 28 hours without using. I decided to put the rest of the dust in water, to do a micro dosed liquid taper at around 0.1. It maybe gave me a small relief if anything. I had enough to dose two mornings in a row and then did my jump. In retrospect, I think doing this way helped me ease into it better.

Day 1- Absolutely no energy, desire or will. Yawn, sneezing like crazy. Hot and colds, but nothing too horrible. It’s a humid Midwestern summer, so I was surprised from Day 1 that I had more of the hot sweats than cold. Some anxiety, boredom, felt a bit foggy, tried to watch TV or videos. I could actually get some decent sleep on and off all night.

Day 2- No energy, desire or will. Yawns and sneezes. Feeling very restless, very foggy. My eyesight was strange. The windows and sun were so bright and it’s hard to describe but it was like I couldn’t really see depth to objects. Tried taking L-Tyrosene & L-Glutamine on an empty stomach- this did not help! Made me anxious, jittery not good! I forced myself to go drive to the store. Tried yoga, meditation. Couldn’t stay still or clear headed for very long. Decent sleep on and off all night.

Day 3- Same as day two, but started to get very irritable, didn’t have patience for my poor boyfriend, very snappy. eyesight very wacky, felt so foggy headed like I wasn’t here. Forced myself to garden outdoors, watch television. Later, drank some rum and juice. I’m a lightweight who barely drinks but I swear this helped me, I was able to hang out with some friends for a few hours and kept a conversation. Slept pretty good on and off that night.

Day 4- Felt okay, still not much energy. Irritable. Yawns and sneezing. Did a little yoga, meditation. Walked a mile and it was so horrible, I was hot, out of breath, everything was bright and I was moving slow. Drank one drink that night but could not sleep whatsoever. Stomach wacky from the Imodium. Tossed and turned all night, maybe got 1 hour sleep total. Was very restless, couldn’t get comfortable. Didn’t have the full on opiate leg kicks, but was constantly moving.

Day 5- Monday, back to work. Ugh! Having no sleep and anxiety to go back, woke 3 hours earlier for work. Felt so-so, like I could power through it, took my only other 0.1mg Clonidine. Thankfully I work in an office like atmosphere and don’t have many people to deal with. The florescent lights at work were horrible to my crazy eyes! The day dragged on and on. Sleeping that night did not happen. Tossed and turned, uncomfortable again, maybe an hour of sleep.

Day 6- Roughest day so far on very little sleep. Arose early for work again, was starting to feel mentally exhausted but my body didn’t feel tired. Dragged through the day, a lot of yawning and sneezing. Felt that “gagging” feeling all day, but didn’t throw up. Got home, ate a decent dinner, watched TV, took a nice shower and was very exhausted and passed out at 7pm. Tossed and turned a bit but I actually got sleep!

Day 7- After getting some sleep I feel much better. Still yawning and sneezing fits. Whenever I sneeze I try to let it all out! I’m sneezing as a way to get toxins out of my body, so each time I’d think “Yes! Release the toxins!”. No longer am I feeling that foggy feeling and my eye sight is basically back to normal. Feels like I myself am getting back to normal but know it’ll be a long battle.


Here is what I took every single day at bottle recommended doses:
Took: Imodium (2 mg) *started with 6 mg and tapered down
Ibuprofen
Valerian Root Tablets (throughout day)
Daily multi vitamin
Adrenal Support Supplement
Marijuana < I haven’t smoked in 7 years, but a couple days I took only 1 hit and it helped calm and relieve me for a bit.
5-HTP and Melatonin at night <helped first 3 nights, but no relief on night 4 and 5
Vitamin C (Ester-C) <started taking day 4

Couple notes:
Imodium: I truly think out of all the supplements I got that this helped me the most. I think it somewhat helped with the anxiety, sick feeling. But it did screw up my stomach each night, so what I did is wait until I had a bowel movement the next day before I took any more.
Ibuprofen: Listen, I know this sounds ridiculous as it’s just OTC, for low tolerance people, yada yada but I swear this helped me. Makes sense, because hospitals or doctors recommend Ibuprofen/Motrin for those who have a FEVER. Withdrawing is like that, similar to the flu. I took 1000 mg and positive it kicked a majority of my hot flashes/cold chills to the curb.
Exercise: I usually am an active person who does some sort of moderate workout/walking/pilates daily. I haven’t done much at all this past week because I had no desire, so I think that sluggishness fed to how bad I felt. I just couldn’t get myself to do much at all but hope today I feel well enough to at least go for a long walk.
Eating: I also started eating extremely crazily healthy for at least the past 7 months. Daily probiotic. Homemade super green fruit/veg juice in the mornings, huge salad and rainbow of veggies for lunch, healthy chicken/meat and veggies with dinner. Vegetables and healthy snacks throughout the day. Once I started to eat healthier I didn’t want to stop, I started craving it. I think this really helped kick out any of the bad toxins my body had built up with the years of McDonalds and Little Debbie snacks that I lived on since that’s all my junky butt would afford. I also think eating this way produces easier bowel movements which equals toxins leaving the body. Makes sense.

Sorry for the long post, just thought I’d share. Believe me, I know I have a loooonngggg way to go. I am just so freaking excited to not be slave to anything anymore that I will power through this! In all honesty, it hasn’t been that bad. I was psyching myself out for so long, just remembering what opiate withdrawal was like for me. Each day takes me further from my addiction and am so happy about that. I am absolutely glad I took off work, but may have been okay powering through it.

I am giving myself a “re-birth”, I am starting a new journey and it’s going to be quite an adventure.

When stuck in “I can’t do this” mode, presupposing success can jumpstart progress. Believe in a good future.

Thank you for listening and am glad there is this forum as an outlet, as support.


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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 3:56 pm 
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DarkenedBliss wrote:
I am giving myself a “re-birth”, I am starting a new journey and it’s going to be quite an adventure.

When stuck in “I can’t do this” mode, presupposing success can jumpstart progress. Believe in a good future.


First of all, cool name. It would be a perfect name for a goth band like The Cure or maybe some dark electronic group like Depeche Mode. Thank you for the great introduction. I personally enjoy the more in-depth ones with more details. It helps me to get to know you and what you've been through. Looks like you got some use out of the supplements that are most often suggested. You've really been through quite an ordeal.

I think everyone knows deep down inside that a healthy combination of exercise, proper nutrition (that means just say no to little debbie), and a 'never give up attitude' is the key to success in life regardless if you're on a taper or on a maintenance dose. You did everything the right way and you deserve every ounce of success from all that work. I've been putting on quite a bit of weight but after reading your post, I feel encouraged to get back to my morning green drink ritual and just start walking... I've got to start moving again.

I had lost a lot of weight while in active addiction and most of it was from changing my eating habits like you did. I cut out fast food and tried to reach for everything colorful in the veggie section at the store. I've been craving donuts and cookies and ice cream like crazy. But it's really affecting my mood as well as my waistline. So thanks for sharing. I really needed that little kick in the butt to get back on track. I remember how my moods were more stable while on the natural foods.

So congratulations on your amazing effort, I know it wasn't easy. I hope you stick around for a while. This really is a nice community to be a part of. There are a lot of caring people here, and some stinkers too every once in a while. But that's okay, I know everybody is different and we all have unique reactions to any medicine we put into our bodies. Enjoy your "rebirth" and welcome to the forum!!

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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:47 am 
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Thanks, I like your name too, OpenMind, just perfect for anything in life. Actually mine is based off a ragtag band I had once called Dark Bliss, so you hit that right on the head.
I hope you did get some inspiration to make some healthy eating habits, I'm glad you responded to that. It can be hard at times as I love sweets, but it's easy to substitute and Google is my best friend for recipes.
I do think my healthier lifestyle did make it easier to jump (more just a big step) off without terrible withdrawals, but I don't know for sure as I've never jumped before.
Today is okay for me, yesterday was a bit of a struggle in regards to energy. I just feel so sluggish, bones feel weary, muscles feel heavy, forcing myself to even stand up for long periods of time. I know this past week with very little exercise is part of why I feel this way.
I don't have much for cravings, they come and go but are very manageable.
I'm still taking and plan to for a bit, the adrenal support, multivitamin, ester C, Valerian root and Ibuprofen.
Other than the heaviness and no energy I feel great, still sneezing up a storm but am grateful for each passing moment that I no longer need a prescription substance in my life.
Thanks for your response !:)


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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:25 pm 
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do they make inspiration in capsule form?!
i as well need to move and eat better.
i have been trying a higher protein diet. it does seem to work. i used to graze all day long.
i found a bar on sale at big lots yesterday. 20gr of protein and 20gr of fiber! i was worried i was going to blow my colon out. but mostly i'm taking a muscle builder shake to work with me. its 50gr of protein and i mix the powder with milk.

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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 8:39 am 
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I think I would inhale capsules of inspiration right now;) feeling a bit of body ache and have to force motivation. Im hoping the more I force the more I will get moving and eventually get myself feeling better.
What kind of protein powder do you use, sister? I need to find a vegan friendly as I have lactose intolerance and whey even screws me.
I am almost 2 weeks clean. Feeling back to normal besides the dragging body tiredness. But back to some daily exercise, I've been sleeping great (6-8 hrs). Only slight yawning and daily sneezing fits continue . Still never looking back!


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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 7:51 pm 
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DarkenedBliss wrote:
I think I would inhale capsules of inspiration right now;) feeling a bit of body ache and have to force motivation. Im hoping the more I force the more I will get moving and eventually get myself feeling better.
What kind of protein powder do you use, sister? I need to find a vegan friendly as I have lactose intolerance and whey even screws me.
I am almost 2 weeks clean. Feeling back to normal besides the dragging body tiredness. But back to some daily exercise, I've been sleeping great (6-8 hrs). Only slight yawning and daily sneezing fits continue . Still never looking back!

its called professional strength weigh protein. then something about anabolic protein formula. its made by six star protein. someone gave it to me! i'm thinking its from gnc. it says in bold print contains milk ingredients, but i didn't recognize any of the ingredients as milk products.

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Get your shit together and live your life." Black Snake Moan


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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:44 pm 
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DarkenedBliss wrote:
I need to find a vegan friendly as I have lactose intolerance and whey even screws me.


There are all kinds of protein products out there made out of all kinds of ingredients. But I found a favorite that I highly recommend any time the subject comes up. Check out http://orgain.com/all-products/ for some of the healthiest and cleanest products you can find. It's all non-gmo, non-soy (high amounts of soy can affect hormone levels in the body), organic, with no artificial sweeteners, colors or other additives.

Great stuff. They also have completely vegan options too. This stuff went into my morning protein shakes when I was trying to lose weight. I lost 100 pounds by changing my diet to mostly vegetarian and exercising 3 to 4 times a week. Their powders also have a nice consistency and aren't super grainy like some others are. I hope you try at least one out and see if you like the way it tastes. I personally don't care so much about the taste, I'm more concerned with the quality of ingredients.

- OM

p.s. - I have nothing to do with the company or any one who works for them. I've found them to be great nutritional supplements that work well when added to an exercise program.

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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 9:10 am 
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Thanks you two for the recommendations, OpenMind I am checking them out right after I post!

As for an update: 15 days clean. Can't believe I feel as fine as I do and am trying not to get upset at myself for waiting this long and letting myself get so worked up about quitting.

No real physical issues at present. Still taking vitamins/minerals and Ibuprofen when my sciatica flares. Otherwise, everything's mental. I would say my cravings are at about a 5%, occasionally when I feel a little worn down/achy, but those moments flee quickly.

I would have to say my only issues are energy and perhaps depression, nothing major but feeling down a lot about not having much motivation, how I have not felt happiness for awhile. I am content, I am just living and feeling okay, but I yearn to be passionate or to have at least some energy. I continue to force myself, to eat good, exercise, learn and grow, hoping I can pull through.
I wish I had insurance to see if I had any deficiencies.
I am looking into natural supplements and ways to obtain more energy, as I find right now I am having trouble feeling any emotion in general, besides a heavy tiredness throughout the day. Just want to sleep and be lazy, but don't want to make that a habit, as those (like we all know) are hard to break.


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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 10:25 am 
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Hey darkenedbliss. Congratulations on getting clean. I am at the 40 hour mark without any sub. I have been on subs for 3 years and I cut down to .25 and the last few days I was taking .125. I have no more subs left and no chance of getting anymore. I've been taking a lot of the supplements that you've mentioned and I do not feel too bad as of yet. Yes I get hot and cold easily and don't have much energy but it is bearable. I hope it doesn't get really bad as I have heard it might on day 3. Anyway it is something I just have to battle through but ai am happy to hear it wasn't sooo terrible for you and you were able to hang out with friends and go to work. I remember when I stopped Oxys and that would have been impossible. Good luck to you, you are almost at the end of the tunnel. I will meet you there soon!


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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2017 4:30 pm 
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Hi Justin! Glad my experience has you responding. 40 hours plus, way to go! I know it's hard to comprehend, but I think the majority of issues are psychological. Especially when, like us, we were dependent on something for years! So just hang on and take the experience and you will reflect on it and learn from it. Know that your mind is powerful and that you can focus your control.

For me, I would say Day 4 and 5 have been the worst so far. And by worst- I only mean that my only true symptom was not sleeping! Two nights in a row and going back to work was pretty rough. No kicking really, just uncomfortable. I absolutely love me my sleep too, but after those two days I have been sleeping great with zero issues!!

So Day 16 is here and I feel just fine. Pretty much back to normal. I know the years of opiate abuse and sub abuse probably took some toll on my body (still feel like I am kind of dragging but today is better) So am working on repairing and building my help.

So far, I feel even more powerful that I've kicked it so far without kicking and screaming in consequence. I feel like I am strong and this was another hardship in life I have conquered and since it wasn't that bad, it fuels my mind. I know everyone is different, but really hope that you go through an easy transition. The rough parts are seriously temporary, so try to power through!

Supplementing is a good idea, but I think to really let your body reap the effects of vitamins/minerals is to find it in a true source- food! I found quite a few people who have come through this shining because of a good, healthy balanced diet and any exercise.

Good luck! Keep us updated!


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:44 pm 
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Just an update:

Currently 1 month and 1 week clean. Woohieee!

So no cravings for me. Pretty much feeling normal besides still having a bit of a lack of energy. This is partially because I haven't been exercising as much and eating as well. I do eat healthy meals but have been having unhealthy sugary snacks here and there.

Sleeping great, soundly every night.

Only taking multivitamin and ibuprofen as needed.

Still sneezing! Twice in a row multiple times a day. No water eyes but a lot of yawning no matter how rested I am.

Other than that I do get that hard to swallow/gag/cough like reflex in my throat. When I wake up and occasionally during the day. Hard to explain, but for me when I would get dope sick I would get this same feeling. Unsure if it's related to lack of subs or something else.

Overall, feeling great! Each day gets better, each day I have less depression and I am so grateful to myself for having the will and determination to kick this and no longer are a slave to my addiction. Ive saved myself money and piece of mind and it's given me the push I needed to face any obstacles that come my way.
I won't be on this forum much as i have put bupe in the review mirror, but will try to update and offer any support I can.


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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:48 pm 
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Way to go, Darkened Bliss!

Glad to hear you're doing well!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: First Week Clean
PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 8:03 am 
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Those sneezing attacks come and go for a few weeks post-Sub I reckon. After a while you learn to appreciate them. I used to imagine little bits of Suboxone were being sneezed out of my brain every time. Made it easy to visualise myself progressing in my recovery.

Congrats man you're doing great!


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