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 Post subject: First step out of denial
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:50 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:33 pm
Posts: 4
Hi, I'll try to keep this as uncomplicated as I can ...

I have a history of addiction, mainly to alcohol and cannabis. It's been a long journey to recovery (am in my late 40s) - trying to get abstinent from alc for 12 years, and have now been in recovery from that for roughly 2 1/2 years now. That's a win, but this relapse into a new substance has badly shaken me.

Am under a huge stress load, and recently learned - after severe back probs earlier this year - that I have prolapsed discs and stenosis. Have gradually relied on more and more codeine based painkillers for 4 months now, until now it has become more about addiction than pain. It has got serious and I am now extremely concerned about my liver, and other organs (as are prof ppl I've told), as I have been averaging anywhere from 3 to 5 g of paracetamol, and 1200 - 2000mg ibuprofen at one time (150 - 220 mg codeine). I am trying to stop, have done two withdrawals in the past 6 weeks but my usage has crept up again.

After a recent liver test I realise I'm at the point where I'm doing serious damage. I'm battling with shame but trying to put together a comprehensive program of help. Still have yet to see my Dr (directly) although am working with my D & A support ppl who have suggested I think about suboxone and have recommended this forum. My husband doesn't know and even though he's extremely supportive, this is just one step too far. I am very reluctant to share this and would like to do this without him knowing.

I have children, and my husband has been newly diagnosed w/cancer so I need to stick around and I worry that if my behaviour continues I am actually seriously in danger of checking out.

Hoping to find help here.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:38 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:48 pm
Posts: 1292
Location: oregon coast
Hi there siennamoon :wink:

First I want to say, I think you are heading in the right direction.... I mean you had two and half yrs sober? that's freaking awesome!!!

now, having an addiction,,, especially one that's completely outta control, IS stresful, and complicated, and YOU KNOW!!
I don't need to tell YOU.......
So, Im going to give you a couple doctor-patient match links, you can try and find a suboxone Dr. in your area,,, If that's what
your ready for at this point............. ... octor.aspx
this link, let's you put in your zip code, and HOW FAR your willing to travel... now keep in mind, how far you were willing
to travel to get pills,,, some areas don't have very many certified suboxone dr's...
This one is thru the naabt, and you create a profile, answer some questions, and a doctor actually contacts YOU

So, now that's out of the way...... On the '' site,
I highly suggest you do that,
that's what I did, when I was ready to LEARN about suboxne WITH my husband,,,
it comes in a folder, with a few different pamphelts and LOTS OF INFORMATION, on HOW subooxne helps you
how it BLOCKS other opiates, and prevents US addicts from death in some cases when/if we do relapse.
it's really helped ME,,,
i've taken the brochures to "family dinner" with my extended family, when they were giving me shit, about staying ON IT.

so that's about all I've got for now,
do you have any specific questions?
I also encourage you to look around the suboxone dot com site, (first link)
they have lots of information, as well.

I hope this helps, at least a bit...
one more thing,,,
Im gonna give you the LINK to Dr. J's (suboxdoc) videos on Youtube, sometimes its easier to watch a video than to
read thru a bunch of "dry" information,,,,,,,,,,,at least for ME it is!!
*** here's the link, above,,, to ALL nineteen of his vidoes,,,, and I've posted the "how suboxone works pt 1"
at the bottom of the page.
you certainly have NOTHING to lose, by learning all you can about it,,,
and please ask, if you need any more information, help, ETC.....
Im 19mos on suboxone now, I could never get more than four or five days, before that,,,,, ten years WASTED....
no relapses, suboxone has helped me change EVERY SINGLE aspect of my life :wink:
oh, and my husband and I,, are still in marriage counseling, I was against it AT first,, like WHY the F do I want YOU to have somebody else to bad mouth ME with??? LOL
but that's NOT how it went, it was actually completely different. It's REALY helped us,,,, Im sooo glad we did it.


anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 3:54 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4312
Hi! I want to welcome you to this forum and congratulate you on all of your hard work in recovery! I know how terrible it feels to be out of control with one's drug of choice. It isn't fun!

I had to look up paracetamol because I had never heard of it. Apparently, you don't live in the U.S. because the term we use here is acetaminophen. So, basically you've been taking Tylenol with codeine and you're taking 125 - 300 mg codeine at one time. About how many times a day are you dosing?

It's not uncommon for an addict to switch addictions, and if you do end up on suboxone, you will definitely need to spend that time working a recovery plan. Suboxone is a great tool for some addicts, but it won't take care of any underlying issues.

I'm so sorry that you are struggling with back pain. There are several people on this forum who take suboxone because of addiction, but who dose small amounts more often to maximize its analgesic effect. So you could help manage both your pain and your addiction with suboxone.

It must be stressful to be dealing with your own addiction and back pain, plus your husband's cancer! I hope you can find a good addiction therapist to help you manage. Perhaps, once you come up with a plan of action, you can tell your husband what is going on with you.

I wish you the best and I hope to hear an update! There are many supportive people here, so I hope you stick around!


Done is better than perfect!

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