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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:43 am 
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Hi this is my first post here and Im looking for a little advice with my suboxone treatment.
Im 25yrs old male approx 155lbs.
I was hooked on approx 200mg oxy's for a little over two years. It started as a car crash i was in when I was 17. busted my hip all to hell. Doctor had me on two 10/325's every 4 hrs for about a year. I took them like clock work. Im not going to lie, I loved them from the start. On my last visit to my doctor he told me he was going to give me some vic's to slowly get me off the oxycondone. He said "you may have to go through a little rehab" Me being young and dumb I said to him "Why!? I dont smoke pot" Honestly believing that was what he was talking about.. He chuckeld and said "no for the pills ive been giving you" I thought he was an idiot. I went home put the scrip for the vics in the garbage and never thought twice. I did not touch another pill for 4 years, And never had a craving.
Well 4 years down the road, I was working on a roof helping a friend fix a leak, Well coming down the ladder I sliped and fell. I went to the doctor the next day and he gave me some 10's if I remember right and forwarded me to a pain clinic.
Well they gave me 150 uncut roxy's (oxycondone) per 30 days, as take one or two as needed. I took them off and on for a few years and then they uped me to 100qty 15's per 30 days, I took them and loved them. I never went over my 100 limit. Now this is where I screwed up. I switched jobs and lost my insurance, between paying the doctor and for my script I found out I could by them off a friend I met in the hosptial cheaper. Much cheaper. so I started buying his script. He got 200 per month, I started out buying 50 then 70 then 100 and within a few months I was buying the whole script. Well a few months after that they switched him from 200qty 15's to 100qty 30's. I started eating the 30's just like I would if they where 15's (same size, shape and color what does it matter right? ) well that was a huge mistake. before I knew it I was eating 20+ 30's a day, just to avoid being sick. I never got high off of them any more. Just sick if I did not take them, and sick if I did. But it was the sickness I craved.

well up out of no where they cut his script off completly ( or he was lieing because he found out he could get $25 each vs the $5 each I was paying) killed me. I spent 3 days in pure hell, reading online. and finding out what devil I had been unknowing dancing with. The more I read about withdrawls the worse they seem to get. I tired going back to the doctor at the pain clinic but of corse it had been over a year since I had been their, so no way where they going to cut me a script.
So for a few months I would just score what I could a few 80's here and their, some days only finding 5/500 vics and eating 40+ per day until I would get so sick I would pass out from the tylnol. I knew something had to change or I would die.
So I found suboxone and methadone. I started buying methadone off the street for a few weeks, and Thought I had this monster kicked, little did I know I went from a demon to the devil it's self. I made it one night withdrawing from methadone and I was praying for death. So a few more weeks of street scoring. witch is hard to do when you never had to mess around with street drugs before.

So I finaly got set up on suboxone. I thought I would have an eazy time with it, honestly did. Since ive never done any other drug in my life other then pills, I dont drink, I dont smoke pot, nothing but the pills. I figured I did not have the mental adiction or mental drive and I could come off suboxone rather eazy.

Well im on my 10th month of suboxone. I take two & 1/2, 8mg tablets per day. And now I scared. I dont ever see myself geting off this crap or any other treatment.

Ok sorry for the life story, its 3am and I fell like crap. on to my questions.

Ive having a hard time geting on a stedy does of suboxone. like somedays I will take one 8mg tablet, other days 4.
I don't feel withdrawls anymore, not lke before anyway. But somedays I just hurt. My hip I busted up is what hurts and both of my legs, But I don't believe it is "real" pain, I believe it is just withdrawl pain.
Ive tired hard many many times to be on a set number of suboxone. Ive tired one per day= withdraws come back.
2 per day= for a week I will be perfect, then three days I will need 3-4 pills. and if I take a stedy 2.5 pills per day, everyday by the 2nd week I get headaches, and sick feeling from too much suboxone. wierd huh. ive tired taking 2-1/4 per day, and ive tired taking 2 one day and 2.5 the next. But my doctor says geting stable is a big key to kicking suboxone.
so what can I /should I do? suboxone is costing me to much money, ive got to cut back some how.


FYI: My life is realy good right now. Ive got a good job, good familey the works. I happy as a person.


thanks for your time


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:13 pm 
RX man - I don't have any good answers for you, but I want you to know you are not alone. I posted on another thread on this forum recently about my experience with Suboxone of late. I've been on it 4 1/2 months now, started pretty smooth, never took over 16mg/day, quickly dropped to 8mg/day with no problems so I thought I'd continue to taper. I got down to 4mg, still felt good so dropped again too quickly and started feeling pretty crappy so I went back up. That was a couple of weeks, maybe three weeks ago. At that time I told myself I'd just stick to 4mg/day and let myself stabilize. At that point 4mg didn't seem like enough so I started kind of dosing 'as needed' which was actually what my doctor instructed me to do. But in my gut, I felt that wasn't the best move...did it anyway....Because I want to feel better. In my opinion that is the problem. We want to feel better and we have come to rely on drugs to do that for us. Even when we know better and try to do better...it's still a very difficult thing to overcome. So....we've made progress stopping our drug of choice but we're taking a step backwards when we deviate from a once a day adequate dose to treat our addiction. We have to get out of that mindset of dosing to feel better. Scientifically, one dose of 8mg is most usually adequate to saturate those receptors and keep the withdrawals and cravings at bay. We know that, but yet our achey legs or our anxiety or our moments of craving thoughts tell us "I must not have enough Suboxone on board"
Well, everyone is different and these are just my thoughts as I try to work through this myself RX man. You have a history of a serious injury that may be causing some of your pain. I don't know. I just wanted you to know you're not struggling alone. My gut still tells me that I will feel better over the long term if I will stick to a steady dose and take ques from my body when it may be time to decrease my dose, which is what I was doing initially. I've just let myself get off track and it's screwing with me. But I'm determined to get it together! Hang in there. Wish I had something more concrete to tell you as far as what you should do. Glad you posted!


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:39 pm 
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Thanks for the kind words. I started like you. My first 5 months of suboxone treatment was perfect. I started at 16mg per day, stayed at 16mg for 2 months, and cut my doseage down buy 4mg each doctor visit. I got down to 8mg per day and I stayed at that level for my 2 months. Then it seemed like over night it quit working as good. I talked to my doctor and she upped my doseage to 12mg per day, thinking I may have droped to quickly. That worked for a few weeks, and now im up to 20mg per day. 4mg higher then when I started treatment. I wish I would have tried harder to stay at 8mg. so please becarful with your dose. I could continue to talk about you doseage, and pleed you stay at your 4mg dose. But anyone who has ever been dependent on opeites knows I can talk until Im blue in the face, if you have it in your mind that you need more, nothing will ever help but more.

Im 95% sure all the pain I feel is just in my head, made worse by years of abuse of pain killers.
Ive got an idea I believe may work for me to rid my life of all opeties.

Now That I have been on suboxone for so long, I dont have cravings for pills anymore. Im not sure if I even rember what it feels like to be on dope again. Since I started my treatment I have not relapsed. Not even once. Just last week I had a chance to buy oc 80's for only $25 each, and I had a pocket full of money. I turned it down and have not thought about it until now. Other then to stop deadly withdraws I have no reason or want for drugs. I dont drink, I dont smoke pot and I have never done any other drug before in my life. So I thinking now ive got my head thinking right, All I have to do is get rid of my body's dependance, and I should be free.
Ive been thinking, and reading up on rapid detox. Where they put you to sleep and "flush" your system clean. Im thinking about selling my car, and haveing the rapid detox done. But I love my car. I love my car alot. If it free's me from a life of pills, then I will sell her today. But if I sell her and it dose not help, I will be very upset.
So im doing a bunch of reading about rapid detox, and I plan to talk it over with my doctor on the 1st when I return.

Anyone have first hand experance with rapid detox after suboxone? I know for a fact that before I got on suboxone rapid detox would have never worked for me. My mind was too far in it to go to sleep and wake up free. But now that I have my head on right, I wonder if it will work for me>>>>

thanks


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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