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 Post subject: first month of sobriety
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 2:05 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 1:43 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Jacksonville FL
[align=center][font=Courier New] [/font]
So how to start.. Well I'm twenty six years old now.
been using pain pills since I was around fifteen first started
with taking Vicoden es for teeth problems.. even my first time taking
them I abused them, two at one time back then my entire body was numb
and I was drooling.. In a state of being that can only be described as my own
personal dream world.. I had a taste of what prescription medication could do
with xanax all thanks to my wonderfully and now passed away grand mother.

I'm sure she didn't mean any harm back then.. I mean my entire family
have had a problem with drug abuse, my father was a pot head
my mother has her problems with cocaine and crack cocaine.
she has spent 70% of her life in a prison cell and is dieing from cancer
as we speak sitting in prison in tallahasse florida.. she went to prison
when I was in fourth grade and is still in there now.. so go figure that
I would have only a few things to turn to to relief any type of mental
anguishes I was going through, I was a fat little kid with not much sense of
the world other then people leaving. The drugs took me away from this problem
if only for a short while.. but the problem started from that my life had become such
a shame that the only thing I looked forward to was my next drug.
(sorry for the long back story here folks but its good to get these things out in the open)

I am now married. My wife is a non drug user, she has smoked a little pot before and
drinks every blue moon but has no found understanding of what true addiction is about
altho she does try and see it through what im going through she will never truelly get the
problem of addiction.

I never went into any in treatments for drug abuse mainly because I have no job
(My body is covered in tattoos and I live in Florida's bible belt.. making finding a job
the hardest thing next to kicking drugs) So the ability to get to a methadone clinic was
completely out of the question, A friend from the past came into my life last year. Let me give you
some history of her story, She was almost a girlfriend of mine in the past till I found out
about her Herion abuse.. it scared me away from her and we quit talking for almost two years.
She showed up random at a friend of mines punk dive bar I was working @ one nignt
and was completely sober.. and had been for months... she told me about the suboxone and
how it was the savior of her life.. She was taking anywhere from 5/8 80 MG oxys a day
on top of the biggest xanax problem I have ever seen.. (anywhere from 10 to 15, 2 mg bars a day!)

she had been proscribed suboxone by the grace of her grandfather paying for it.
she started trying to help me by throwing me a few 8 MG suboxone every week
I took a whole 8 mg pill for the first time that night hanging out with her
and woke up the next day at my brothers feeling like I could take on the entire world.
well a few months went by and she ended up back on herion and stealing over a grand worth
of stuff out of me and my wifes apartment.. also ending what connection I had for suboxone.
I went right back walking into hell.. my eyes had been opened to what could be achieved
with the help of suboxone and ever since then I was so sad that I could never afford the pills
b/c of lack of money/work/ and the price of visits and medication..

Well for months I went through websites looking for doctors who could get me on the needy meds
program and try to get into a doctor to get proscribed suboxone legally.. it took forever and finally I
came across N.AABT/.O.RG The website connects people with suboxone doctors in their local area.

I Put a listing up saying that I was just married.. my life was wonderful but the addiction would eventually
destroy everything I cared about.. within 1 day I recieved an Email from a wonderful doctor named Amit Vijapura.

The doctor told me to come to his office that if I passed the needed tests that he would be able to get me on
a clinical study for suboxone.. no cost to me. The visit was set up 2 weeks later.. In which I used a few loratabs to hold me over until about 3 days before the visit to the doctors office for blood tests and everything else to see if I was a in
the right place to be put on the study.

I was so worried about all of this.. the testing.. the blood tests.. I mean I was scared.
I went into the docs office the first day.. the back of my mind saying "God please let me get on this study.. I really
really need this help.." After a simple blood test.. and questions about my drug abuse.. and history of abuse..
I was given my first dose of 8 mg suboxone that day.. after a drug screening in which they asked me to tell them
honestly what they would find in my blood stream.. I told them weed and loratabs and that was it.. they test came back
around 30 minutes later and the doctor told me straight up that he didnt think I was in enough withdrawl to take my first suboxone.. but after pressing on my stomach and finding the level of pain I was in.. bamp they gave me my first dose

(ok back to the story)
I came back within the next 1/2 days and found my blood work came out clean (No Stds, My liver was in excellent condition thank god) and then the introduction period to suboxone started.. I was put on 16 MG daily taken at one time.. the first two weeks of this was being completely out of it.. I was nodding out.. feeling buzzed.. sick to my stomach.. it took some time and patience for this to stop.. but as of now 4 weeks into the program I have been dropped down to 12 MG daily taken at one time.. I no longer get sick to my stomach.. or nod off.. I do not get buzzed at all... Just a good feeling and sense of relief. No longer do I wake up feeling like im going to die if I do not get a pill into my system.. and I have been looking for work now.. its so great to be able to feel like im back to somewhat of a normal life..

On top of all of this.. I see my doctor 3/4 times a week.. he is in walking distance from my apartment.. I get my meds and visits for free and they pay me 30 dollars everytime I come in... I am being paid to stay clean guys!

Anyways if you read this thanks for spending the time to hear me out.. and if you want feel free to put in 2 cents on my story

-Kas[/align]

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 2:13 pm 
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6 Months or More
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Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 9:08 pm
Posts: 248
Hi Wolf, that is great that you finally got into a program so you could get on sub. I wish you the best with it, thanks for sharing your story. I hope you'll keep posting here about your progress, this is a great site for info and support. Good to have you here!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 2:24 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi wolfX and welcome to the forum. I agree with auto - this place is great to find information and support. How terrific for you to have gotten into a PAID clinical study! I'm so glad to hear you've stabilized and are doing well. Have you set up other things for your recovery - meetings or therapy, etc? It's important to have a full recovery plan in place. I personally have therapist and am still learning to life life without popping a pill when something gets me down. It's helped me a lot.

I wish you luck in the job hunt. I'm sure you'll be able to find something. I'm heavily tattooed as well and my last two jobs before I was disabled were with the county and state governments. They had no problems with my ink.

Again welcome and I hope you stick around and post often.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:15 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 1:43 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Jacksonville FL
I plan on sticking around and trying to post more often.
Im in therapy from the doctors office that is doing my clinical study.
I do it once or twice a week and go in 3/4 times a week.. so its
helping out alot right now with me not having any income at all..

but yeah.. I've been going to NA awhile now.

_________________
"This World Was Built For Thieves
Where Good Men Die Like Dogs"


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