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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:00 pm 
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[font=Century Gothic][b]Arghhh, Have to go to my first "mandatory meeting" tonight, and am really uber nervous. Im usually a pretty social person but i just dont know about this. I dont usually talk about my problems with total strangers, esp not my issues with substance addiction. Im really more of the suffer in silence type, but then again i guess thats probably what got me to this wonderfully 'low" point in my life!! lol Plus its kinda irking me that not only do i have to attend the womens meeting at 6pm but my Sub docs also making me attend the mens meeting at 7pm too, im not sure why, it doesnt make much sense to me. I know that as part of my treatment i have to go to two meetings a month which doesnt seem like a bad thing to me, and i generally tend to get along better with men than i do women beings that im a bit of a tomboy ie tattoes from head to toe and heavily pierced but back to back meetings on my first night yuckkkkk! oh well i guess ill live! [/b][/font]

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:11 pm 
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I can empathize with your apprehension. I would feel the same way. I've never been into group meetings. I've always done better one on one. I also don't get the whole two back to back meetings...and why separate the men from the women if he's just going to send you to a mens meeting? Are these 12-step meetings? If so I wonder how strict they are with regard to the gender-specific meetings. Well, you'll find out soon enough.

Just remember this, as a newbie tonight, they will ALL understand if you don't want to share. It's pretty common I would think from the few meetings I've attended. Give yourself time to get comfortable and you can start sharing when you're ready. So for now listen and soak up some stuff. What is it the 12-steppers say? Take what you need and leave the rest behind...something like that.

Let us know how it goes, my tattooed friend. 8)

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 12:12 pm 
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Hi Mysteryvamp,

Don't sweat it about going to the meetings and having to talk. No one will force you to do anything. Just sit there and listen. If and when you ever feel like saying something, then you can.

What I don't get is sending you to both a men's and women's meeting. Normally only men are allowed at a Men's Stag, as they call it, and vice versa. You should be going to OPEN meetings, open to all, even non addicts.

Once you're there it won't seem so bad, you might even get to know people and like it. If not, at least you're doing what is required and that is a lot. Once you are willing to do whatever is necessary for recovery, you're chances are greatly improved that you'll succeed.

Hang in there, you'll be okay.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 1:10 pm 
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Hi, I remember my first meetings....I hated them...thought everyone was whining. Lol...I wasn't ready, obviously and it was years before I really understood what the meetings were about.
I don't know if you are talking about 12 step meetings or group therapy in a treatment center...or what exactly, so I am going to assume 12 step meetings.

This is my experience, take it or leave it. I found I like AA better than NA. Partly because of the long term sobriety many in AA have and much of the time drugs are a part of alcoholics' story....sometimes, however, some AA meetings really hate anyone talking about "drugs" which is a whole other topic that I could go on about. and I wonder if you are talking about 12 step meetings that if it is a men's meeting I doubt you'll be "allowed" in. The point of those meetings is for safety (topic wise) and men wanting to talk only to men or women wanting to talk to only women. I found a lot of safety when I first went to meetings at a women's meeting. I could talk about anything I needed to.

BUT, you might feel more comfortable in closed meetings. Or even closed women's meetings. The reason is that open meetings are where anyone in the community can attend...and if you are worried about anonymity you might feel safer in a closed meeting. In open meetings there are sometimes psych students, or nursing students, etc, family members wanting to understand, etc.

And Rule62 is right...you don't have to talk. You don't have to identify yourself as an addict/ or alcoholic...You can just say pass if you want. No one will force you to talk. They shouldn't anyway.

2 meetings/month is not too bad. And there are many different kinds of meetings...SMART recovery for one, 12 step, and even a Christian meeting, can't remember the name of it now, that deals with the 12 steps biblically. There are also dual diagnosis meetings if you have other mental health issues...So look around and see what fits.

It sounds like you have a pretty open attitude about it and that's all that really counts....you might get some great information, you might meet some really cool people and its a good way to get out of our heads...let us know how it goes.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:25 am 
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Free coffee & biscuits.

Just keep thinking that.

free coffee & biscuits...

[[edited out my inappropriate standard anti NA rant]]


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 11:05 pm 
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[font=Century Gothic]Thanks guys to all who replied.
To clear things up that i wasnt aware of before going to the meeting, the first meeting was women only the second meeting was a mixed group, and it is a group therapy for suboxone patients held by my suboxone Dr, who has turned out to be a super cool guy who is a recovering alcoholic himself and like Dr.Junig he talks alot about his own recovery and really makes you feel like you can relate. i also met alot of really great people there, so ive continued to go to the meetings every week even though im only contracted to go 2x's a month i really get alot out of them, and your right coffee and biscuts lmao thanks again guys!
[/font]

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:26 pm 
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That's fantastic!

Great to hear that you've found these groups beneficial.

Most people, when they hear the word "meeting", immediately assume it's either NA or AA as they're probably the most prevalent.

I was about to say that it would have been a bit inappropriate for a prescribing doctor to require mandatory attendance to a 12-step meeting, seeming as these meetings are not (a) secular (it's difficult to remain an athiest while going to these meetings - I've yet to meet the famous "friend" everyone has who's "higher power is a rock" even though he must get around to every meeting on this planet!) and (b) it's difficult to stay on "drug replacement" while going to NA as there's this unconscious pressure to identify as "clean". Unfortunately some doctors do require NA attendance it seems.

It seems like your meeting is more tailored to people on pharmacotherapy, which is exactly what people like us need.

Of course you'll come across some people in the meeting who are less motivated to stay clean than yourself. The old mantra of "stick with the strength" applies to all forms of group therapy IMO, and even keep it in mind when socialising with friends outside the recovery world. Try to spend the most time amonst the people you look up to, and whose lives you admire.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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