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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:51 pm 
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21, 21, 21, TWENTY-ONE DAYS!!!!! That's 3 WEEKS!!! :D

Three weeks of being off of Suboxone. What an accomplishment. I am completely, entirely, 100% proud, happy, and astonished!! I have come so flippin' far in this journey. If I am able to get this far, anyone can!!

Thanksgiving is a day of thanks. I am so grateful for the support I have here at the suboxone talkzone. Thankful for the friends I have made here, and the strength I have found here. Thank y'all. Thank you, my wife, for being as patient as she's able. Thank you, my children, for not calling DSS on me for being an unbearable ass. Thank you God, for giving me the strength and guidance only You can.

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all, and HAPPY 3 WEEKS TO ME, BITCHES!!!!! :D :lol: :D 8)


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 9:26 pm 
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LOL. YaaaaaHoooooo you made it to 21 days!
That's something like 10 days PLUS another 11 days !!! :D

What a guy you are! :D

How did you know I was a bitch? :lol:

Karen xoxo


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:06 pm 
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11+11 now Karen!!

I feel great today, on day 22!! It gets better everyday! We put up the Christmas tree last night, and got it all decorated. I wasn't much in the mood to help, but I got through it. I have to work today, but not really "work". My lovely wife is out in the mix of the crazy Black Friday folk this morning. She didn't get up at the ass crack of dawn, but she is braving it anyway. (People are nuts!)

The realism of this is surreal to me. I never thought I would be a quitter, never have been. I sit here, a new, different, BETTER version of myself. I am a little worn around the edges, but that's the "new" coming out! I still have to push myself to be motivated, on a regular daily basis. Even when I am doing something I want to do. Yesterday was by far the worst day for fatigue in a while though. We did our rounds for Thanksgiving, (thank God we are all local) but it was tough. By the time it was all said and done, I was ILL!!! Unfit to be around! But it is over, and I am still whole. Sometimes I just want to yell at myself for feeling so damn lazy!

How bout these emotions though!? I have moments when I just feel like a dick, then I will find myself crying at a commercial on TV. WTHeck is up with that!?? I have always been somewhat soft, but this is REDIC!!! :cry: I don't get it.

But like I said, it gets better everyday. I feel a little bit better everyday. I have NO idea what "normal" should feel like. I haven't been clean clean for over 25 years. My brain has a LOT of healing to do.

Patience grasshopper..


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 1:45 pm 
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Hi J,

Look at you, racking up the days! It's quite an up and down ride but the good moments more than make up for it, IMO. I know what you mean about having to push yourself to do things, even things you want to do. I absolutely love shopping. I'm a totally girlie girl like that. But, for a long time you couldn't have even dragged me out of the house with a promised shopping spree. I would have rather stayed home! You know i don't feel well when decline to go shopping. :lol: I tended to save my energy for things that I HAD to do, rather than wanted to do, because I had so little of it. It's good that you keep pushing yourself!

I look forward to your updates, keep up the good work!


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 8:00 pm 
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twostepj wrote:
11+11 now Karen!!

How bout these emotions though!? I have moments when I just feel like a dick, then I will find myself crying at a commercial on TV. WTHeck is up with that!?? I have always been somewhat soft, but this is REDIC!!! :cry: I don't get it.

I have NO idea what "normal" should feel like. I haven't been clean clean for over 25 years. My brain has a LOT of healing to do.

Patience grasshopper..



LOL Grasshopper! :D Patience is NOT my thing right now!

11 + 11 now??? Holy Cow.....

That's almost like 8+6+3+5 :lol:

I'm impressed as you add up those days! Well done J!

My emotions are a solid wreck right now and I let my girlfriends talk me into going out with the other "nuts" for Black Friday! Big, big mistake on my part. In line was NOT good for this girl! :D Just couldn't handle it this year. Gakkkkk!

I hear ya on those damn commercials. I was crying at a car commercial the other day and laughing at a guy chasing a chick with a hatchet??? Talk about overload on emotions! LOL.

The good news is we aren't using right now. Guess we both have to do our best to hang on for dear life. It has to end at some point....please tell me it does?

25 years using for you? Some how that doesn't make 16 years sound so bad!!! Blahhhh!

GLad you enjoyed your big day yesterday. I did ok.....pissed everyone off good at times! :lol:

Karen xoxo


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 10:14 pm 
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J said, "My brain has a LOT of healing to do." I used to say that I had a LOT of stupid to undo, but I like how you put it better. :)

Yeah, the emotions going whacky is completely normal. I clearly remember watching American Idol with my wife and daughter during my early wd and those idiots on AI would always give the "back story" of the contestants. Well, it turns out one of the guys was dating this super sweet, really good looking girl, they were going to get married, but then she was involved in a horrible accident. She ended up with severe brain damage and is confined to a wheel chair......I bawled like a baby and have not watched AI since. This is 3 years ago!!

Anger was also an issue for me early on. I could go from mildly annoyed to RAGE in a fraction of a second. Long story short, I was helping my then 10 year old daughter with her math homework, I thought she wasn't trying hard enough so I started spanking her hand.....and I hit her way to hard and yelled at her. OMGosh, I still feel like a colossal jack-ass for that. Watch the anger, it will make you do things that you can't undo. Trust me on this on, man.

You're a few weeks into the process and you're actually doing really good. Keep your eye on the prize, Bud.

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:58 am 
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Romeo wrote:
Well, it turns out one of the guys was dating this super sweet, really good looking girl, they were going to get married, but then she was involved in a horrible accident. She ended up with severe brain damage and is confined to a wheel chair......I bawled like a baby and have not watched AI since. This is 3 years ago!!

Anger was also an issue for me early on. I could go from mildly annoyed to RAGE in a fraction of a second.



Thanks Romeo... It took me 5 minutes to stop crying after I read this! Colossal Jackass!!!!!

I get it man. I have much better moments than others. That's for sure. I read your reply aloud to my wife. She said, "Gee... That doesn't sound like ANYONE I know!" I laughed and said "SHUT UP!!!" Lol! Just kidding!

I am on call this week for work, and I just got called out. I will post more later today.

Romeo, Karen, Tiny I look forward to y'all's support. Also the support of anyone else in here is much appreciated, and welcomed!!

Edit: Today was a great day. I have been less fatigued all day. I worked my ass off, but I didn't feel like I did. Watching the Clemson and South Carolina game, getting all worked up now! Talk about RAGE Romeo!! they're making it tough to be a Clemson fan!

GO TIGERS!!!! :D


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 02, 2013 3:22 pm 
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Day 25...

I have had better days. Today is a tired day, indeed. I have heavy legs, lots of yawns and stretches. Sneezing is out of hand again, as well. As soon as I think it MIGHT be getting better, NOPE!! I have a day like this!

Sunday (yesterday) was alright. Not too fatigued, not too achey, not too sneezey. I watched as much football as I could, and had a semi-productive day. I got the lights hung outside, and cut down a tree that had fallen in a recent storm. I felt good about my accomplishments. Today, it is taking every fiber of my being just to get out of my truck! I am grateful that things in "Cableland" are running smoothly.

But, like I have read, been told, said before, and experienced, it's a roller coaster. Albeit, not a fun one. All I can do is push through until 4ish, and hope like hell it's a slow night. I am on call until Friday, which means I'm really not off work until Friday at 5. Prayers, thoughts, hopes. wishes and aspirations are all welcomed form y'all. Keep it up y'all! We are doing this shit together!!

DAY 25!!!! WHAT!!??!!


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 9:05 pm 
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Been a better day!! Woot woot!!!

I feel better right now than yesterday, as it was a rough one! I felt great all day, until about 6pm.. Now I am wiped out again. I will hope to sleep peacefully tonight! I slept like a champ last night. All the way from 10:30p to 3:30a, then 4:00a to 5:50a. And that, my friends, is a heck of a night of sleep for me! (Lately)

I wish you all well, and hope to hear from y'all soon. Thanks for keeping up, and checking in.

Day 26 BITCHES!!!

Lots of love and respect.

J


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 9:34 pm 
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Your "bitches" posts remind me of my detox. When I was at my worst and felt like my ass was super glued to the sofa, I would yell to my husband "Gatorade me, Bitch!". It was a line stolen from Jesse Pinkman in Breaking bad. It seemed to sum up everything so perfectly. My husband got a kick out of it and would chuckle and bring me my gatorade. Good times.. good times.

Wishing you good sleep tonight! You're right at the cusp of when the good days start to outweigh the bad days. Keep on.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 10:07 pm 
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Everytime you say WHAT, it makes me think of this Dave Chappelle skit. (minus the part from :59 to 1:15.....had to make sure I made that clarification)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoWEESRrNK8

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:02 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
Everytime you say WHAT, it makes me think of this Dave Chappelle skit. (minus the part from :59 to 1:15.....had to make sure I made that clarification)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoWEESRrNK8





OKAY!!!!! LMAO!

Love it Romeo! Thanks for the laugh!

Today was a long one to say the least. I put roughly 300 miles on my work truck before 4 o'clock! The first business I had a service call at was an hour and forty five minutes from Myrtle Beach. I left the house before 6:30a to be there by 8ish. Not the ideal way for my day to start.

I am ready for a good night of sleep! I feel great today other than being exhausted from physical labor.

So GATORADE ME bitch!!! Day 27!!! WHAT!?? OKAY!!!

Love and respect!

J


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:38 pm 
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Four weeks today! YAY!!!

Just wanted to check in. I feel ok, a bit of a headache, a little tired, but all in all, blessed to be here.

I am blessed beyond belief. I have my health, my family, my friends, my support, and most of all, my sobriety. I have my recovery.

I talked with a friend today... He is having a rough time with this recovery thing. He is on Subs, but trying to get off. He's gotten close, but can't seem to get over the "hump".

I know there are a lot of God fearing, spiritual people floating around this site. If y'all wouldn't mind, say a quick prayer tonight for him. He needs some strength, and patience for his journey.

Thank you all.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 4:59 pm 
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Thank you for updating us and I'm very glad you are doing well!

I hope your buddy gets to his goal and I'm sure you're an inspiration to him! But also remind him that it took a lot of work to get on sub and put his addiction into remission and he should still feel proud of himself. I like to think that your buddy has a lot of people supporting his recovery on suboxone, but he may not, so it may be up to you to be that person for him.

I hope you and your family (along with the rest of the world) are blessed this Christmas season and all the new year!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 6:46 pm 
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I have over 5 weeks at this point. Man do I feel better!

I didn't think I would ever get this far. I feel like a new person. I haven't gotten back to 100% yet, but I am steadily improving. I feel lazy a lot. Not so much fatigued anymore, but detached instead. Not interested in doing things that I used to do on a regular basis. ie. clean the house, help with chores, etc. This will pass, I'm sure, as have most of the other issues I've experienced.

I just wanted to post somewhat of an update to let my sub-buddies know I am still here, still kicking, still clean, and not looking back! Thanks y'all..


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