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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:40 pm 
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When i got out of prison I got readdicted within 9 months. Those 9 months I saved up a good amount of money working two jobs just to give it all back to the streets for herion blues whatever. I finally relized again that this is a dead end street so I went back on Subs, after reading all the horror storys about hair loss horriable withdraw I didn't want to take them anymore and i didn't want to use period. So I remembered my early days in prison out of a 46 month bid and how i was able to stop then. Im just saying its mind over matter. Its not easy but I stopped by occupying my mind 24 7. Not sitting around counting the minutes eating a bunch of over the counter crap. I mowed six lawns day one from 7 am to sun down. Fell asleep pretty easiley after that. Hit golf balls, went fishing, WORKing two jobs, working out. DUHHH It sucked after a week I was fine. I just used my mental toughness of being stripped of everything family, money, friends, in prison and carried that mental toghness into my recovery. It really is mind over matter. You have to be strong minded. Its not easy but focus you attention else where not on the drug. I havent hit the hard part yet though getting through the withdraws is the easy part because you remember pain and want to quit. Our mind forgets pain very easy the hard part is in 6 months 1 year 2 years when i feel good and my addiction says i can have a small taste of the good stuff. ahhhhh thats when the major will power will have to kick in Good luck god bless


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:57 pm 
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ME AGAIN i guess i say the prison thing over and over because even though I didn't quit on my own but because I was locked up. I guess that helps me today because I know that I can quit and not die That I will feel good again even great. I mean I was in a prison cell acually feeling freaking awesome because i wasn't a slave to these drugs, and that I can relax, read a book, take a nap. I felt better in there then I did on the streets because on the streets I was a slave to getting high and that sucked. So just know there is nothing but better days ahead of you. I say the whole phisical activity thing because if you wear your body out phiscally you will be able to sleep better trust me. Get a personal trainer tell him what your going though and have him kick you in the butt not only will you sleep and fell better you will look better eat better LIVE better. Im sure your wife would like it. To see some nice phiscal changes. LOVE


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 5:56 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
The fatigue and insomnia can get quite annoying. For insomnia, I take Unisom (the one with Doxylamine Succinate), it's said to be just as strong as prescription sleep meds, but it doesn't act on the GABA receptors. Doxylamine Succinate is basically an antihistamine. Try it and see if it doesn't help you. It's available at any drug store or Walmart.

Once your sleep improves, the fatigue will start to improve.

Unfortunately, sleep is usually one of the last things to return to normal for people wd'ing from opiates.

Congratulations on 7 days!!!



Thanks Romeo. Sincerely. 7 days is a milestone for me. Gonna go pick some up when I go to the grocery store tonight. Thanks for the input. I just hope it levels out soon. I have to travel to NC for the week next week, for business. I am hopeful that it will be at least, better by then. Not sure, but here's to hoping.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 8:52 pm 
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twostep..

Have you been using any hot water therapy? You're right at a time when it's the most beneficial for the things you're having issues with (insomnia and skin crawlies..) I know, I know, a grown man usually doesn't want to take a bath (baths are for girls and babies.. I get it) but they really help right about now! Think of it as a smaller hot tub session. :wink: It sounds crazy to take a bath at 1am, 2am on, but if you find yourself wide awake during these hours, take a quick bath!! As hot as you can stand it. Your body will feel good and you'll get relaxed enough to probably fall back asleep. That worked really well for me. Better than OTC sleep meds, but I'm sensitive to those and they made me more restless once I past that really small window/ time frame to fall asleep.

Anyway, try all of our tricks and see what works for you.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:01 am 
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Hot water may be my best friend lately! I have only a standing shower in the master suite. The closest tub to me is the kids (aged 17, 17, &11 boy, girl, & boy) and I wouldn't sit my but there if I was paid! My kids are spoiled and have a sense of entitlement... Not saying I am not (at least) partially to blame! But, a hot shower definitely calms the skin. Along with that, however, it wakes me even more. Feeling "damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Being from the South, my wife and I were raised "in the church" so to speak. We were there if the doors were opened. So Spirituality comes honest, and handy most of the time. I mean this as, I do A LOT of praying. I know in my heart of hearts that it is God's Will that I make it through. Otherwise, on day 4 or 5 (such a blur to try to remember...) I would have been able to get a hold of my Sub Doc. I tried, believe me, I tried. But for reasons bigger than me, my call was left unanswered, as well as unreturned.

QuitIT, I want you to know that personally, I am proud of you. You seem to be in a much different, and much better place in your life as of now. I can't even compare to your testimony. I can only imagine how and what your personal journey has been and ultimately still is. It is inspiring to me, to hear success stories NO MATTER how they have been achieved. Be it in prison, or through NA, or AA, or any other program in the like.

I certainly DO NOT condone someone smashing on, or shitting at, or being snarky or snide about ANYONE's recovery, or the way the have been able to obtain their sobriety/clean time. The one thing that I ALWAYS preach to the people whom dare to compare their recovery to anyone else's, is that we are all unique. Granted we all share the same disease, addiction; however, my recovery is totally different than yours, or MovieMaker's or Tiny's or Romeo's or anyone else for the matter. My recovery is MINE. Not anyone else's to shit on or tell me I am wrong, etc. The one thing that most people say on a regular basis, without even realizing it, is... "You need to, or You ought to" followed by something additional. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I often find my self (albeit, inside my head) finishing their "You need to" statement with a sharp "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" That's right, you read it exactly how I typed it. If someone presents something to me, prefaced with a "You need to", chances are that I am no longer listening, or I've pissed them off by literally saying "Shut the fuck up" out loud. I have said it, it has happened.

That being gone over, QuitIT, I am proud of you for working your own recovery and catering it to YOUR specific needs. My recovery will not likely fit anyone else, unless they were the proverbial 1 in a million. I would not even speculate that what you have done would make my recovery any easier, or even different. My point is this: It matters to me, to an extent, what people say and suggest on here. I believe it was Miss Karen that offered me a piece of advice that I will use everyday forward. That was simple. Read what people say, use what info you find relevant, and don't use the rest. If I can find an easier, less sucky way, then by all means, that's going to be the way for me. Not easy lazy, but easy like, less stress, etc.

I just wanted to tell you what has been on my mind since I read the post someone left after you testimony. I personally don't give a shit how you earned your clean time, just simply that you have earned it. Good for you. I wish you nothing but the best in your future recovery.

Thanks again everyone for keeping me accountable to a degree, supporting me, and letting me spout, whenever I feel fit to do so.

I will update tomorrow how things are going. It is 11:00, and I am still not tired...


Last edited by twostepj on Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 6:04 am 
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Lol don't worry every body usually hates me for some reason. but it is good to know how somebody got clean because other people that are reading it might find a little piece of an answer they could fit into their recovery.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:04 pm 
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J, you need to and you ought to say shut the fuck up more often!! LOL!!

Phew, I love your post, man!

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:27 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
J, you need to and you ought to say shut the fuck up more often!! LOL!!

Phew, I love your post, man!



Ditto

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:15 pm 
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Day 8, and not different than 7 really. I feel slightly less lethargic, but dragging ass none the less. I was able to sleep a bit better last night, but not great. Still a pretty restless sleep.

Other than feeling tired, I really feel a lot better. My day is about half over now, so I can try again soon! I am just tired of being tired. I know it will get better.

More later.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 3:42 pm 
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You know, you really need to just GET IN THE BATH! :lol:

Seriously though, I wish you had an accessible tub. Showers just quite aren't the same. I'm not surprised they wake you up; you can't really relax having to support yourself standing. Plus you're not fully submerged in the hot water. Better than nothing, though..

Glad you got a bit more sleep last night. The tired of being tired feeling is really annoying, just push through and do what you can to take your mind off it. It will pass... eventually.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 3:43 pm 
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Deleted because of personal attack. -Amy, Moderator


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 4:59 pm 
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Thank you Amy, for watching over. I didn't even see the post removed, but it must have been pretty bad.

It is now the 9th day off of Subs. I kind-of feel similar to how I was feeling in the earlier days... Like crap. I am hot, cold, crawly, irritable, cranky, short-fused, and just generally shitty.

What's up with this?? I absolutely LOVE roller coasters. But this one... I WANT OFF!! Yesterday I was good until the sun started to to fade. Then almost out of nowhere, I started to feel like shit again. I went to bed last night at around 11:30pm. I actually slept better. I woke up several times, but I was able to fall back to sleep without too much fight. I finally gave up at 7:30 this morning.

I started my horrible time of addiction after being hit by a drunk driver head on at about 50 mph. I have documented (well documented) back issues. If you know anything about your spine, then you'll understand this next sentence. I have 2 herniated discs, L4, and L5. 2 of the lowest vertebra in our spines. If you have ever had back issues, then you'll understand how panging, and annoying it is.

Years of opiate abuse, followed by years of Subs had all but nullified the annoyance. However, this past 9 days has been a CONSTANT reminder that I have pain. A lot of it, too. I have developed a very high tolerance to pain over the years, but this is crap! Might it be because I don't feel like getting my ass off the couch, unless completely necessary!??

This week has made me an intolerable ass. I can only pray that it subsides sooner than later.

Thank y'all for letting me vent, and supporting our cause. Y'all rock!


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:37 pm 
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the withdrawal can absolutely aggravate the back pain. I have back issues as well and when I came off subs it got worse. But after the PAWS faded so too did the back pain. I think your over-active nervous system is contributing, not that the pain isn't there, but is worse bc of the withdrawal. Give it time and if it doesnt go away or get manageable there are plenty of pain management options that dont include opiates.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 1:27 am 
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Hey Intolerable Ass! (just kidding) But the post that I deleted had a lot of that type of language. If you want to see what he wrote you can PM me, but honestly, it's not worth reading. QuitIT is banned by the way.

Yes, you are going to have days where you feel like you've taken two steps forward and one step back. As time goes on you will have fewer of those days and more good days. Be a little patient with yourself. :)

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 2:18 pm 
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I AM HERE!!! I realize that it has been a couple of days since I posted. In some eyes that could represent a relapse! In this case, not so.

I mentioned a few posts ago that I had to travel for business. It has been a busy week so far. Busy enough, in fact, that my mind has been elsewhere.

It is now day 12. I am far from feeling "normal" but equally as far from feeling as badly as the beginning. I still cannot sleep through the night, or even close to through the night. It is getting gradually better, though. The ONLY "comfort medicine" I packed was my Unisom. My head is cleared up, and the proverbial fog is seemingly lifted.

I have no urges, or cravings to speak of. This is a feat for me... For any addict really. I am not cured, by any means, but I am confident, and cared for. This alone helps.

Overall, I feel better than I have in a week and a half. I am not nearly as fatigued, just tired from lack of sleep.

I feel that if I can get through this, then just about anyone can! (I know most of us have said this at one time or other...) But I really mean it. I can do this.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:14 pm 
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I agree with l i v i n that your pain is being exasperated by wd. Your nervous system is going nine kinds of nuts right now and increased sensitivity to pain is pretty normal. Like he said, it's not that the pain you're feeling isn't real, it's just being amplified. Add to that the fact that you've had your opiate receptors in your brain completely covered for a good while and they have to come back to normal, too.

As you keep sticking this out, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with just how effective Advil is for pain. While on opiates, Advil didn't do shit for me. Once off opiates and after allowing time for my brain to heal, I find Advil to be quite an effective medication.

Remember, Pain Is Temporary, bitches!! :D

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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:23 pm 
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Day 17... The 2 week mark has come and gone. I didn't think I would make it past day 5, but here I am. This has truly been one of the longest journeys I have ever been on. Worth it, but loooooooooong...

I am no longer taking medications other than what is required for my daily well being. No more of the medicines prescribed to help me through this period. I have also figured out that the very medications I have been taking to help the insomnia are inducing it instead. Last night I slept better than I have in weeks. Funny though... I didn't take anything to "help" me sleep. When I came home from my business trip, Friday night, I took the sleep-aid medicine that used to work wonders for me. Instead of sleeping through the night, I tossed and turned, and the RLS was worse than ever before. While I was out of town, I was using the Unisom with a different active ingredient, but was nearly miserable with lack of sleep. Last night, I took NOTHING, and slept better then ever. Maybe it was sheer exhaustion. Maybe not. I guess we'll see tonight when I try it again.

My wife is much happier with my progress at this point, too. She said to me, "It's so nice to have you back." Granted, I don't feel like I am "back", but it is much better than even before I left last week. I hate being away from my wife and children, but I also think it was a timely trip this time. I needed to get away from everyone, just to feel better, I think. I feel like that sounds bad, but it is the truth. I needed to wallow in my own shit to feel good again. I needed to HAVE to do something on my own, in order to get motivated.

I am still fatigued, but more apt to get off my ass now. I am tired, of being tired, sick of being sick, and ready to be whole again. I know it takes time, but honestly, i have never been a very patient man. Instant gratification... Isn't that what we addicts are known for wanting!?? Gimme a pill to make all this shit go away, and I would be a very, instantly happy man! Ha! I wish that's how this worked!

As I read other's testimonies of their battle with coming off of Subs, I realize that I really had NO CLUE what I was (and still am) in for. I didn't know it would be so drawn out. I figured (just like dope) all I had to do, was get it out of my system, then "I" would take it from there. NOT THE FUCKING CASE!! Realistically, I am a month into this; with preparation and end taper, over a month. 17 days off of Subs, and only a fraction of the way through the WDs, and DTs. How long will it take, I feel is anyone's guess. I have read anywhere from weeks to months. As long as y'all are here to help me along, and my support system stays the course, I am going to be just fine.

If I can do this (by the Grace of God), then anyone can do this. I hope that someone has or does read through this blog, and finds the help that I have found through all of you, and through this site. Truly, thank y'all.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:39 am 
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its inspiring to hear some of theses stories however i do read the occasional horror story from time to time.
but any way.....im looking for some advice/answers.......
a little background of myself............ive taken percocet and lortab recreationally off an on for around 5 years going through several minor withdrawals. i would always try to not let myself get waaaay outta hand with them. at most i would eat 2 10mg tablets a night at work 5 days straight for 3 months and hardly ever used them on the wknd unless ,of course, i worked on the wknd. after 2 or 3 months of use, i would stop for a month or 2 and have 5-6 day minor withdrawals(sleepless,aches,sweats,anxious). well recently ive been on them for about 5 months and then i was introduced to suboxone. ive been able to take an 8mg stip and get like 12 doses out of it.. so one strip last about a week or more. been doin this for about a month. i havent had piece since friday at 3am and i just took a 5mg percocet to get rid of the aches and anxiety. my question is.....are the withdrawals gona be terrible? im nt gettin any more percs but my wife has a few klonopin that i may take for a few days for sleeping and anxiety. is this ok to do? i am aware that longterm use on the klonopin can lead to dependency but im not a big fan of downers. i jus want it to sleep! i will start working out on the elliptical 20-30 mins a day when the worst of it passes. this a good plan? thank you


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:13 pm 
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Day 20!!! WHAT!?!??? Yessir, that's right! Unbelievable as it seemed a week and a half ago, I am now 20 days off of Subs. I am doing relatively alright, too.

Sleep is slowly growing each night. Last night was rougher than the past 2, but once the RLS subsided, I slept like a champ. Still not taking anything to help with sleep at this juncture. I thought about it last night, but by the time I would have acted, I fell back to sleep.

I still have some symptoms in the day time. ie. Sluggish, fatigued, heavy legs, sore hips, and new to me is this strained muscle feeling in both calves. Not sure wtheck, but I figured it will whither with the rest.

Some days are just better than others! But completely worth it!

God's Strength, and Blessings on this Thanksgiving eve.


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 Post subject: Re: First day off....
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:38 pm 
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WHAT!! Day 20? How in the hell did that happen? :wink:

Happy Turkey day to you, too!!

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