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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:20 am 
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Good morning all, I just had to share. Yesterday, I induced at a total of 6mg. My sleep wasn't stellar, but it hasn't been in a very long time. However, what a surprise when I woke up, I FELT NORMAL!!! For the first time in years I woke up, pain free, not obsessing about my first fix and sitting like a zombie on the couch until a felt okay enough to get moving. I got up, got around, made coffee and breakfast and then AFTER took my AM sub dose. It sounds so ordinary to someone who doesn't understand, but to me it is a miracle and I am so very grateful!!
I pray that all who read this are experiencing the miracle of normalcy today as well!
-L-


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:40 am 
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Yes, I totally understand!!! It's the best realization ever imo. I remember it very well. I was the type of person who obsessed worse than normal about waking up and worrying myself into fits about getting my fix. If I didn't have anything for that morning, if I woke up about to pee at 3am, I'd stay awake obsessing until my dealer woke up or I could get money. It was awful. I remember getting my fix and if I wasn't lucky enough to have enough for the next day, I'd start immediately obsessing about the next day an hour after I'd finally found my fix for that day lol. It was a constant battle in my head and it got worse and worse as time went by. I didn't act that way until a couple yrs in my active addiction. I just started driving myself crazier than I already was. I remember telling my mom how I just wanted to wake up in peace. I wanted to live in peace instead of fear of withdrawal and cravings that we're driving me out of my mind. It was 24/7 obsessing regardless if I was high or not.

When I finally started sub, I remember waking up those first few mornings amazed that the obsession was lifted and gone. It meant a complete life change. Even though that was yrs ago, I still feel so blessed and grateful that I can finally have peace....peace, it feels amazing.

I'm so happy for u. It's awesome reading this because I'm not only happy for u, but it reminds me how lucky I am that things aren't like that anymore either. Good luck :)

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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 12:11 pm 
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Good morning! Yes isn't it wonderful!! For about a week after I started subs I woke up every morning thinking today would be the day I woke up and feel terrible. That it wasn't gonna work after all. But of course that didn't happen. I wake up everyday feeling "normal"! !! It still amazes me. I am so happy you are doing good. It only gets better everyday . Have a wonderful day. Enjoy !

Willow


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 3:08 pm 
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praying4peace2016 wrote:
Good morning all, I just had to share. Yesterday, I induced at a total of 6mg. My sleep wasn't stellar, but it hasn't been in a very long time. However, what a surprise when I woke up, I FELT NORMAL!!! For the first time in years I woke up, pain free, not obsessing about my first fix and sitting like a zombie on the couch until a felt okay enough to get moving. I got up, got around, made coffee and breakfast and then AFTER took my AM sub dose. It sounds so ordinary to someone who doesn't understand, but to me it is a miracle and I am so very grateful!!
I pray that all who read this are experiencing the miracle of normalcy today as well!
-L-


I so relate to this! When I walked out of my doctor's office where I was induced, I felt completely normal! I couldn't believe it! I can't remember the exact moment the next day when I realized that the obsession to use was gone, but that was a revelation too. I felt so free!

The challenge for me became filling up my mind and time with positive activity. I spent a bunch of time and money online shopping because I no longer had anything to look forward to. I have definitely worked it out at this point and grad school takes up that time focus at this point. I just want to both, share your joy and warn you that figuring out what to focus on next can be problematic. This is a great time to start enjoying a new or old hobby or sport. It's a great time to volunteer or put new focus on your career.

Congratulations for turning your life around!!!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 5:36 pm 
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Hearing those comments from patients is what makes me such a fan of this medication. The challenge is to keep getting the word out. The other day I received an email from a person who has been working with drug courts, trying to get them to accept medication-based treatment. But the anti-suboxone DA brought in several people to testify AGAINST Suboxone. One by one they testified, under oath, that they were constantly high on Suboxone-- that they used it just to get high because it lasted longer than heroin. Needless so say, Suboxone was not approved by the drug court, and they use Vivitrol and/or total abstinence instead.

Sorry to write such a downer post after the great experiences! It is just frustrating....


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 5:39 pm 
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Thank you all! Amy, I can totally relate to what you are saying about shopping, I went and bought a new dresser today and it brought me joy - something I wouldn't of been able to do in my rapid tornadic cycle of getting high and coming down and getting high and coming down ect, ect. However, I realized, as excited as I was about my new purchase that I'd better watch it or I'd have a major shopping problem next. Just trying to be very aware of my behaviors that contribute to addiction.
Also, another thing I've been thinking about is the sub dosing twice or more a day. If the half life is so long, is it really necessary? I'm finding myself looking at the clock more than I should, thinking, is it time yet? Is it now? Now? Ugggggggh!!! So much of this is going to be mental for me unfortunately. I've definitely got to find constructive ways to stay busy like you've said. Is the watching the clock thing normal? Does it go away after a little bit?
Thank you so much for all of your support, you have no idea how much it means to me!
-L-


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 5:47 pm 
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Hey doctor! Thank you for chiming in!!! I can honestly say, I have felt nothing close to a high in the short time I've been on it. Just like I've never taken any opioids ever and I've wiped the slate clean if that makes sense.
I really appreciate all of your input and education. It was through this forum and your information sharing that I was able to make a choice to completely turn my life around. To say thank you doesn't even come close to the gratitude I feel!


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 9:54 pm 
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Yess I can DEFINATELY relate to appreciating just functioning like a normal person for the first time in almost 10 years.

I am in the south and if the weather even threatens snow the only city shuts down. We actually ended up getting 3 inches and all hell broke loose. The first thought that came into my mind was THANK YOU GOD THAT I AM ON SUBOXONE! If it had been before I got into recovery, I would have had DAYS of pure hell because no one comes out or sells drugs when it snows around here. I was literally able to get up, cuddle on the couch and read and watch t.v. I find that each week I find more and more things I am super grateful for.

I refuse to ever go back to a life filled with waiting, dread, fear of no one being around, worrying about money, etc. etc.


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:02 pm 
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Suboxdoc is our own Dr. Junig! He created this forum and his blog articles can be found at the Talk Zone tab at the top of the page. Lots of great information there!

As to your question about dosing, my sub doctor once said to me, "Amy, if I could have my patients take their suboxone at 3am while they are sleeping, I would!" In other words, the less we addicts focus on dosing, the better. After the first few days, your receptors should be sufficiently covered so that you only need to dose once a day. I suggest the once a day dose.

The only people who really need to dose more than once a day are those who are also using sub for chronic pain. The analgesic properties of sub only last 4 to 6 hours, so many people in chronic pain split their dose into 4 parts and dose every 6 hours or so.

You're so welcome for any help you receive here! We are here to serve and encourage each other!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:04 pm 
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Me too Adeline! I'm so happy I've found friends who sound so much like me. I isolated so much during my downward spiral, I felt like no one could ever know the hellish prison I'd locked myself in. The few people I did tell would say, "Just stop." "Tough it out." And I tried SO MANY TIMES, and failed within hours of swearing I'd never use again. Very lonely existence!


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:10 pm 
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Thank you Amy, you have already helped so much. I had a silly spat with my husband a couple of hours ago, and while I was pouting I was suddenly faced with some cravings. I'm not going to lie -there's really no point, and I want to get better - I thought about taking more sub. But I logged on here instead and read a few things and it passed. It passed!!!! I have never had a craving just disappear like that. So I'm starting my recovery program tomorrow and obviously it is needed. My coping mechanisms are shot and I'm ready to change my thought life. But just getting through that moment is a huge success for me, so I'm going to remain positive about that!


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:54 pm 
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Changing your mindset on something like cravings is HUGE!!! What a great job! So proud of you!

I have to say that this is the exact reason I love SMART Recovery meetings. We work on figuring out the fallacies that our addiction perpetuates. Like, "I can't possibly get through a craving without using!" Of course you can! First, you've made it easier on yourself by being on buprenorphine! Secondly, you can distract yourself for a few minutes and the craving does go away because the medication does half the job. I've gone to SMART meetings for the last 3 weeks in a row and they all focus on destructive thinking and how to turn it around.

In any case, good job!

Amy

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