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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:54 am 
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Wow, this board is such a blessing to me right now. I've been on Sub since September '05. I had a devastating injury (hence my "laddertipper" name) early in the year and was on tons of pain meds. I did research, because I knew I was going down a bad path, and I found out about Suboxone. It was easy to get onto it. I relapsed on alcohol, my drug-of-choice, in November '05 and went into rehab..but I continued the Sub. I get angry sometimes that I ever started taking it, but really, I was in constant, unbearable pain and the Suboxone controlled that pain and gave me peace. Since then, I've been sober, but on Sub. Now I want off. I've tried before. My doctor insists that I am an unusual case, since I cannot jump off at 2 mg. I get so incredibly sick that I end up giving up and going back to around 8 mg. My doctor isn't forcing me off, especially since I do struggle with chronic pain, but it's very important to me to be free of this. I just feel that it's been long enough and it's my time. Reading why it's so hard to get off Sub is a relief to me. I get it. I'm not a wimp. I read the post about crushing the Sub into water, thus being able to go down by micrograms. Thank you!!! It's been a hard day and that post gave me such a boost of hope. I think I can do this. I know I have be patient. Being impatient has been the reason I've failed before. Right now, I'm between 1 and 2 mg a day and taking it when I can't take anymore of the withdrawal. I was at 32 mg for years and could drop down 4 or even 8. Now, dropping down .5 mg is agony. Thank you for this board because I feel vindicated. Slow and steady wins the race.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:16 am 
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Hey laddertipper - I'm the one doing the water taper method. I'm glad my post gave you some hope that you can do this.

I tried to taper off other ways and was really uncomfortable. Trying to go from 1mg to .5mgs is a significant drop and can make you really miserable. Since I started the water method, its been a lot easier. The drops are less drastic so the withdrawal symptoms are milder. Overall it's a smoother process than taking a big dip, suffering, and then stabilizing.

I've found exercise and hot baths to be a big help. I have chronic pain so I swim as much as I can and I do yoga.

If you need any help with the taper method, let me know. You're not alone. Tapering off Sub isn't a walk in the park, but it's doable. I was never able to taper off of regular painkillers. I'd "plan" on tapering, but what really would happen is I'd cut down a little, then just use up my drugs and end up going cold turkey. Whoops! Then I'd be so miserable that I'd end up buying more drugs and the whole cycle would start over again.

With Sub, I've been able to keep reducing my dose at a steady rate. I feel crappy sometimes, but I don't run and take more Sub to make it go away. So that's a big difference and makes me see that I can do this. You can do it too.

One thing I'm wondering though - if the Sub helps your pain and you're doing well on it, why do you suddenly feel like you MUST get off of it ASAP? I know it seems like you need to be "free" of Suboxone, but when you think about it - Suboxone is kinda freeing. It frees us from the cravings to use other opiates, and I hear that it helps your pain as well. Pain is a huge relapse trigger, so if you do decide that you have to go off Sub, think about how you will manage your pain after that. Statistically, most opiate addicts relapse, so it's also important to have a plan for staying off the pills in the future. I'm not trying to be a downer - I just realize that we get so wrapped up in just getting off the medication that we don't think about what comes after that.

Like many addicts have said, getting clean is the easy part - it's the staying clean that really takes work. Good luck, keep posting, and let me know if I can help at all.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:38 am 
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Welcome LadderTipper! Love the name!

You don't have to worry about feeling vindicated here. Us moderators and the doc make sure that things stay non-judgemental here.

At one time I stopped sub at 8mg/day and it wasn't fun. I was only on it 4 months at that point. I got tired of trying to taper all I did was just worry about it so one day I just stopped. I wouldn't recommend stopping at 8mg/day though so don't get any ideas! :wink:

Listen to DQ's suggestions and try the water taper method.. That should probably help smooth things out for you.

---Jamez

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:07 pm 
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Why do I want to stop? Trust me, I've thought long and hard about that. There are benefits to staying on it, such as pain control. My injury was terrible. I was in a coma for a week. Then I didn't know who I was or who my kids, husband, parents, or sisters were. I got that memory back gradually. However, the pain was horrid. I never realized a swollen brain hurt so bad. I was in recovery for alcholism. Everyone assumed I tipped the ladder because I was drunk. Weren't they shocked when my bloodwork showed I was perfectly clean! I had chronic headaches alllll the time. I couldn't even open my eyes. One of my first memories, aside from waking on the ventilator (scary!), was a big, fat nurse giving me morphine. I hurt so bad I asked if I could please die. I accused her of putting water in my IV. I was kinda confused. She actually laughed. She said that by the time I was done being in there, I'd be addicted to morphine. I was discharged on tons of meds, which other people had to dispense, since I really had no sense of day or year or anything (i.e. 50 First Dates!). As I got better, I started realizing that taking so many pills had to be very bad. I tried to go down. But I'm an addict and couldn't. I totally failed. I pretty quickly went to Sub. I'd been to enough meetings to know where it could go. At this point, I get headaches still but they're infrequent and I have non-narcotic medication I can take, like Midrin. In other words, I can cope. Whenever we think of moving or even going away, I worry about Suboxone. I'm done with this stuff because it's served it's purpose, but I don't regret taking it. I'm Sub sick now and not taking it even though it's here. That's amazing! I'm waiting until it's the right time and I'm due for my dose (two more hours!) I also have breast implants....I live in L.A., so that's really common. I need them changed. It's something I have to do because I got them at 18 and I turned 31 last month. I likely might need my neck fixed because of bulging disks. Whatever the case, I will give any pain medication to my husband and he'll give it to me and I'll stop it and we'll FLUSH it when I can cope w/o it. I'm so scared of opiates because I've quit other things and never gone through anything like this. I go to meetings every week without fail. I have a good support system. I believe I can make it, especially since reading about this way of putting it into water.


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