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Would you suggest I learn more/Start seeing a sub doctor?
Yes 75%  75%  [ 3 ]
No 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Other; Will post 25%  25%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 4
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 5:47 am 
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[This will most likely be a long post, you all know how us opiate-users are. We feel like we're the most important, have the best thing to say, and want to put our two cents in. I apologize for that, in advance... but, want to post my story and possibly find some input from those of you that are farther along than I.]

I started with opiates... oh, probably 8-10 years ago very recreationally. I mean, a pill here and there... I'm in sales, so it was my Friday pick me up... well, this went on and off for a few years. Sometimes I wouldn't touch them for months; but sooner or later, Fridays turned into Saturdays turned into Mondays and etc etc... For the past 3 years I've been taking opiates every single day. (Aside from when I didn't have an Rx, ran out or was LOOKING..) When I don't have opiates I start off being very anxious... where can I grab some from???... followed by mild depression... followed by the flu; 2-3-4 days. I haven't WENT beyond that, but I'M SURE I'd get full blown withdrawls. I mean... I know this, just haven't GOT there yet.

So, about Suboxone... I heard about it a few years ago, from another friend who was (Heck, maybe still is... I don't know.) an opiate user. That day, I remember, I wasn't 'sharing' my opiates... I told him I didn't have any, and explained (Wonder if some of you did this in order to minimize your addiction..) that 'I don't get withdrawls... I'm fine... I must not take enough to be f**ked up.'... at any rate, I WAS using that day... but my buddy gave me a suboxone (Or subutex) after I promised him I hadn't had opiates in a while. (I had LIED!) ---- SICK! Oh my God, I remember laying for hours hating life. I guess the suboxone put me RIGHT INTO WITHDRAWLS; like immediatly.

At any rate, for some reason since that very day, I had a bad taste in my mouth (no pun) about suboxone. I thought it was for REAL JUNKIES.. for loser, addicted, pill-heads. And, I told my wife and myself that I would never need suboxone.. that my opiate addiction couldn't be as bad as others, and that I was in control...

And that's lasted pretty much up until NOW. However, Dr. Junig and his youtube videos... and the suboxone-main youtube video are kinda making A LOT of sense tonight. PS, Dr. Junig... just the way you speak and seem so real and honest... You really are awesome. And, I thank you in advance- if simply for the information I've already gained by listening to your videos. I really hope I get the opportunity to speak with you at some point.

So, heres where I am...

I'm at the point of saying... I'm a junkie. (OK; I don't THINK I'm a loser junkie scumbag... but:) I mean I am ready to let go an accept that I haven't been in control for some time now.
I am willing to, after getting MORE information, think about suboxone as a way to stop a greater evil: My opiate intake.
I taking way too much opiates.
Spending way too much MONEY.
WANT CHANGE; Really, really, really want change.

I own a sales company... one thing a recent poster posted that really scared me about suboxone was, "Motivationally and emotionally bankrupt." (When taking sub..). THAT scares me. The very REASON I started and continued to take opiates was that it gave me euphoria and thats GREAT for SALES... It scares me to think the SOLUTION is going to turn me unmotivated and emotionally bankrupt... it would almost gaurantee failure at work.

You know what? If I have to lose my biz to get off opiates... as much as I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, well... I'm at that point where I need to REALLY figure out how to handle this addiction. I guess I can go be a janitor if thats what I have to do.

Like I said, hope not... BUT, thats kinda where I am; this has to stop, no matter the cost.

I've tried to taper... and always end up taking the same (or more..) in the end.
I've tried cold turkey, and like I said I never made it into FULL BLOWN terrible withdrawls....
And, I've tried to just 'handle' taking my opiates... I am completely not in control, and the speed at which the bottle goes empty shows that daily.

UGH..


So, I haven't even FOUND a sub doctor who's taking new patients... I don't know how that all works... but, I think it MIGHT be time to find out.

So, right now, I'm going to be researching this drug a LOT... and listening to anything you guys have to say.

And the last thing I'll write... I hope that this post isn't like a couple others on some other forums... I hope I don't post once or twice and then disappear. If that happens, know that I'm still in my addiction... and I don't want that.

(Any ex-user or current user will know what I mean... I WANT to stop. Badly. Until I get high.... and then; REPEAT...)

Thanks in advance, I hope this is the beginning of a journey... I really do.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 12:05 pm 
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Great post. Enjoyed reading it alot. Buttttttttttt. If I had to throw one thing at you as a piece of advice based on my own experience over several years on Suboxone..... don't listen to anyone else when it comes down to how sub will work for you or make you feel!! I'm really referring to when you quoted someone about being unmotivated and emotionally dead and how you were scared because they said that.... I have met tons and tons of folks on Suboxone over the years I've taken it and it wasn't until I got to this forum that I started hearing claims like this. My sponsor and I, as well as countless others, have had great success with Suboxone. It really is a great tool to use in your recovery from opiate addiction. So. Don't let these horrible stories about hair loss, teeth falling out, no emotions, loss of interest or emotion, ect..... scare you into a corner with this stuff. I have honestly never seen these things happen due to Suboxone. I feel great after 2 years this time around. However I go to meetings daily and work a recovery program... but... no matter. Do what feels right for you and forget all this hooplah for now. It's irrelevant. Odds are it will work great and you'll be glad you did.


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 Post subject: Find a Dr.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 4:01 pm 
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Hi IPP,

Welcome to our forum. I am really impressed by your post. Researching is absolutely the best thing you can do. Moviemaker said it all very well. The majority of Suboxone users don't have all those crazy side effects. That's not saying you won't but the odds are in your favor that all will go well. Like MM, I too enjoy life to the fullest while on Suboxone for the last 2½ years.

You won't know the side effects until you are properly induced and stabilized. You sure found out what happens when you don't take it the way it's supposed to be taken! Now you know and can make a decision if it's right for you. Just understand this disclaimer: You are not going to get out of opiate addiction without some withdrawals. If you use Sub right and taper it down to a low level you might just get away with minor withdrawals. No one knows until they do it.

I think Moviemaker is doing it the right way. Going to meetings, having a sponsor, and seeking recovery tools to use when the devil comes knocking. It may or may not be the way for you but you won't know until you are off the pain pills and into recovery mode. There are other programs out there that have shown effectiveness but you won't know until you try.

Welcome once more to suboxforum and I hope to see you continue to post.

Rule

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 4:27 pm 
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MovieMaker1 wrote:
Great post. Enjoyed reading it alot. Buttttttttttt. If I had to throw one thing at you as a piece of advice based on my own experience over several years on Suboxone..... don't listen to anyone else when it comes down to how sub will work for you or make you feel!! I'm really referring to when you quoted someone about being unmotivated and emotionally dead and how you were scared because they said that.... I have met tons and tons of folks on Suboxone over the years I've taken it and it wasn't until I got to this forum that I started hearing claims like this. My sponsor and I, as well as countless others, have had great success with Suboxone. It really is a great tool to use in your recovery from opiate addiction. So. Don't let these horrible stories about hair loss, teeth falling out, no emotions, loss of interest or emotion, ect..... scare you into a corner with this stuff. I have honestly never seen these things happen due to Suboxone. I feel great after 2 years this time around. However I go to meetings daily and work a recovery program... but... no matter. Do what feels right for you and forget all this hooplah for now. It's irrelevant. Odds are it will work great and you'll be glad you did.


@MovieMaker1,

Thanks for the post.. Its good to hear someone say that those things are just side effects. I totally 'get it', that most ppl don't get them, that they are not likely even though possible... I'm down with the sickness. I understand.

:)

I also would work a recovery program... In fact, I've went to a couple AA meetings just to SEE and LISTEN. Probably should of been at NA, but you know...

So cool, thanks for the post... and I'll keep this thread updated with anything I'm thinking about doing.

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 Post subject: Re: Find a Dr.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 4:32 pm 
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@Rule,
About your disclaimer... (If we were friends I'd say... durrrrrr, no ish.) I know. Oh God, I know... ugh.. I know. :P But, this isn't gonna CHANGE... this isn't gonna disappear... until they come out with the overnight-opiate-b-gone pill...

Another thing, *I'm* not afraid of using a drug for the long-term... I mean, the doctors and professionals say opiate addiction is just a disease. Well, I have a medical issue; and I need to get help with it. I realize that... I'm sure some asshats will frown on me, but oh well.. I have to do SOMETHING; this isn't working anymore.

I made it a long, far journey on MY OWN... luckily never moving to the more hard opiates or h.. Yes, my fav is roxi.. which is heavy duty, but the 90% majority for me is norco... so, I'm a real positive, motivated guy... I made it a real long trek and I think I've done better than a lot at juggling this bs. BUT, like Dr. J said, I need to let go.. this person isn't ME. I hope I find ME soon enough....


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 9:13 pm 
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I think its great you are doing your research about addiction. This is a great forum to learn from too!

I thought the same thing about sub and methadone.....that they were for real junkies. So of course my addiction spiraled out of control into IV use. I wish I would have found suboxone and treatment sooner

You havent lost everything to roxi. Thats a good position to be in. Its smart to get a handle on this now.

I am another person who is living a great life on sub. I have emotions and no side effects. I have been on it for almost three years.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!


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 Post subject: Pray for you....
PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:50 am 
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That was my post about the bankruptcy, but remember all cold ills respond
Differently tO it. But I can promise you the Euforia will stop when hourly turn
To the bupe( sub).
I am or was an electrical engineer. I remember my 'chipping' years and the Friday
Drills. That occasional script for dental work, or skeletal imPerfections, vicodin mostly,
Turned to oxy in '07 once I had a ruptured disc and more leverage to obtain. Spent solid three
Years at 180 mg a day except I normally went through them in about ten days unless I let my wife
Dispense them. I used to think they made me more social and outgoing. And they did until I got
Into full blown dependence.
I have been on subs for three months. I do see some signs of normalcy
Returning to my life, but I really resisted the subs you see because I knew the experience
Would not be as rewarding as the full agonist. Plus, I didn't want a label of addict. Trust
Me, if you go on sub, go subutex if given the choice. I went to suboxone doctor
And despite many pain pt out there being managed on bupe, if a pain clinic sees suboxone
In your history you can kiss schedule 2 pain meds goodbye. I try to look at this now
As a good thing, but it pissed me off when my best connection turned on me and said he
Wanted to contact my addictionologist.
Bottom line is, I had excruciating headaches, and full on depression
When starting sub therapy at 8 mg per day. I am stable and went three days twice now
Without it, so I have to believe it is easier to walk from, given I'd go apeshit
In 24 hours without the oxy. I truly want to quit the subs, but am having
To satisfy the doctor and a prob officer that I am playing the game.

Whatever you do is of course your choice
I am lucky that I am still married and can hopefully put my life back
Together. Any opiate is evil in that it hijacks your endocrine system, amongst
Other things, and leaves a long hangover. If I were you, I'd try taking
At least ten days away from your business to clean up on your own. Try to get back
To occasional use as I still believe all is well in moderation. I never od'd, not even close,
Nor snort parachute plug or anything other than make time fun to pass on opiates.
But if you get dePendant, you must regain control somehow. God bless and god speed to you! D C

_________________
'If you can't trade a cry for a good laugh, then opiates will rule your life forever'. -me
This is the reason I am ready to walk uphill for a finite infinity, in search of myself at the end of the marathon.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:08 pm 
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I have to throw this in there.... after becoming dependent and eating through all your oxys in ten days....that seems pretty out of control in itself. Also. I'm not sure what else was going on in your life at the time either but you did say you have a po for some reason.... I guess my point here is that you lost the option of regaining control of opioid use. You kissed that goodbye long ago. It just won't ever happen. Other drugs in moderation I can't speak for.... but opiates. Not a chance in hell... unless you want to go back around that vicious merry go round again. The sooner you can accept that... the sooner other options will help and the sooner you can really start to get better. Don't kid around with this stuff. You are very lucky to be where you are so why not stop now? Remember.... it's always progressive and will be more intense every time you go back. Just had to say that.... but I know you'll be okay and wish you only the best!!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:51 pm 
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@donechasing
Thanks for posting. I appreciate your input, however I want to help YOU a little bit too: I am still using, BUT you can't truly (or at least ill try to talk you out of it...) believe that your gonna be ok with moderate opiate use. Your already doing things to test beyond it: I really hope you dedicate a bit more and get some help with a drug group, for us opiate abusers, there is no moderation... And you have to know that deep down. Good luck to you... Sounds like you got on the medicine you need to overcome the addiction, but I hope that I hear about you going to NA or a drug group, to help with the mental part... You can't do opiates in moderation anymore man, your gonna have to start believing that to get well. I hope you do.

@moviemaker
I agree with you, not trying to pick on donechasing AT ALL, but man... S/he got the sub... I think they need to get the rest of the help. As for me, it's all TALK until I take action, but I won't be thinking any kind of moderate use is ok... I want to test rid of this nightmare... I really think it time.

A couple new questions:
I've tried to quit before, but as I posted never got past day 4... Should I TRY to quit on my own w/o sub??
So I tried to find ANTI-SUB info over the weekend... It was a bit harder than I thought.. Can some of you post some ANTI links?? I want to get the ANTI information, so I can make a better choice for ME. (This is smart, right?)
Is there anything else you guys would be doing in my situation?

And, the topic we all probably think: God, why did I come to this point? What the hell was I thinking? Why is the system setup this way!? (I take responsibility, but dang they made it easy!) I sure do wish I could turn back time... This is my life... Ugh.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:54 pm 
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@donechasing
Thanks for posting. I appreciate your input, however I want to help YOU a little bit too: I am still using, BUT you can't truly (or at least ill try to talk you out of it...) believe that your gonna be ok with moderate opiate use. Your already doing things to test beyond it: I really hope you dedicate a bit more and get some help with a drug group, for us opiate abusers, there is no moderation... And you have to know that deep down. Good luck to you... Sounds like you got on the medicine you need to overcome the addiction, but I hope that I hear about you going to NA or a drug group, to help with the mental part... You can't do opiates in moderation anymore man, your gonna have to start believing that to get well. I hope you do.

@moviemaker
I agree with you, not trying to pick on donechasing AT ALL, but man... S/he got the sub... I think they need to get the rest of the help. As for me, it's all TALK until I take action, but I won't be thinking any kind of moderate use is ok... I want to test rid of this nightmare... I really think it time.

A couple new questions:
I've tried to quit before, but as I posted never got past day 4... Should I TRY to quit on my own w/o sub??
So I tried to find ANTI-SUB info over the weekend... It was a bit harder than I thought.. Can some of you post some ANTI links?? I want to get the ANTI information, so I can make a better choice for ME. (This is smart, right?)
Is there anything else you guys would be doing in my situation?

And, the topic we all probably think: God, why did I come to this point? What the hell was I thinking? Why is the system setup this way!? (I take responsibility, but dang they made it easy!) I sure do wish I could turn back time... This is my life... Ugh.

iPhone


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