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PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:30 am 
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I suppose everyone writes their backstory first so here is mine- which I promise I'll keep short lol. Started using heroin at age 19, used for 9 months, went on methadone for about 2 years, and by chance, I missed my holiday dose (4 days without a dose) so I was thankfully by chance forced to detox off methadone. I found a Sub doc ASAP who told me I had to wait about a week to see him. Since then, which was 2009, I have been on Suboxone. Initially I started at 32 mg, then weaned myself to 2-3 mg, which I stayed at for 80% of the time of my treatment. Anything lower put me into withdrawals and I was scared to jump.

For some reason, these Vivitrol reps are relentless and are convincing docs (like mine) to detox patients to start them on Vivitrol. Along with being pestered about detoxing from my doc every time if went in, another of his patients came in to tell me his w/d story and how breezy it was. Both of us had been on Sub for the same amount of years and are about the same age. So I said let's do it. I jumped from 3 mg/day. Let me just point out that his breezy experience was the furthest thing from mine.

My doc gave me catapres and phenobarbital, which knocked me into a coma state for 2 days until the 3rd day once my RLS were in full force. Unfortunately, I caved. I took a Sub strip.

I call my doc the next day and he tells me to do it again bc it'll "be easier since your brain isn't used to the Sub anymore". Maybe that holds true in others but not with myself. The second round of detox was worse bc I became accustomed to the meds so I was more lucid. My peak came about 60 hours in again. The one and only saving grace I had was Xanax which put me in a blackout so I don't remember the RLS or rocking back and forth in the fetal position as my boyfriend described to me the next day. I know it wasn't safe to mix all those meds but I think many of you understand why I would at least take the chance.

From day 3 forward, I had terrible bone aches, lethargy, sneezing, crying spells, depression, chills and goosebumps, and zero appetite.

I'm now on day 10 and feel almost normal. I finally ate something for the first time in 6 days. I wake up in the morning with terrible anxiety but my doc gave me Ativan for it and ambien for sleep. I feel like someone who's on bed rest/disability and it's driving me nuts bc I just want to go back to normal life.

One thing I noticed with myself is that one day I'll feel good and then the next feel terrible so I try to enjoy my good moments while I can.

I've had 7 suboxone films in my purse this entire time and I refuse to ever get back on them. I'm going to give them to my doc to give to a patient who needs them more than I do. But don't get me wrong, Sub truly saved my life. But there comes a time to pay the piper which was now.

For those of you on day 4,5,6,7+ searching for answers on when you'll finally feel better, it's coming soon. Just talk with your doc about your symptoms (chills, sweats, anxiety) and they'll help you. If your doc won't give you anything for your detox (which in my opinion is inhumane), call a diff Sub doc and see them ASAP. Your doc may not understand what you're going through, but if they're any good, they'll try to make it comfortable for you as best as they can. I've called my doc at 4 am crying, called his office about every other day, etc. and they've made sure to give me medications that help.

If you're jumping without (or even with) the help of a doc, at least get some Xanax to get you through the peak. Without it, I would still be on Sub today.

At this point, I just keep telling myself that I'll feel better "tomorrow" and it gives me hope. My aches come and go, and I've just gotten used to the idea of eating pills and ibuprofen for breakfast. But I know it will end soon and I'm writing my progress down on my calendar.

Some moments seem hopeless, but for those of you who are searching for answers like I was, there is no answer. It will all depend on how long you've taken the drug, what MG you took, and support from friends, family, and your doc.

Good luck to anyone who's about to jump and congrats and thank you to the so many of you who kept me going day after day with your stories of getting better.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:07 pm 
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Pturo87 wrote:
I suppose everyone writes their backstory first so here is mine- which I promise I'll keep short lol. Started using heroin at age 19, used for 9 months, went on methadone for about 2 years, and by chance, I missed my holiday dose (4 days without a dose) so I was thankfully by chance forced to detox off methadone. I found a Sub doc ASAP who told me I had to wait about a week to see him. Since then, which was 2009, I have been on Suboxone. Initially I started at 32 mg, then weaned myself to 2-3 mg, which I stayed at for 80% of the time of my treatment. Anything lower put me into withdrawals and I was scared to jump.

For some reason, these Vivitrol reps are relentless and are convincing docs (like mine) to detox patients to start them on Vivitrol. Along with being pestered about detoxing from my doc every time if went in, another of his patients came in to tell me his w/d story and how breezy it was. Both of us had been on Sub for the same amount of years and are about the same age. So I said let's do it. I jumped from 3 mg/day. Let me just point out that his breezy experience was the furthest thing from mine.

My doc gave me catapres and phenobarbital, which knocked me into a coma state for 2 days until the 3rd day once my RLS were in full force. Unfortunately, I caved. I took a Sub strip.

I call my doc the next day and he tells me to do it again bc it'll "be easier since your brain isn't used to the Sub anymore". Maybe that holds true in others but not with myself. The second round of detox was worse bc I became accustomed to the meds so I was more lucid. My peak came about 60 hours in again. The one and only saving grace I had was Xanax which put me in a blackout so I don't remember the RLS or rocking back and forth in the fetal position as my boyfriend described to me the next day. I know it wasn't safe to mix all those meds but I think many of you understand why I would at least take the chance.

From day 3 forward, I had terrible bone aches, lethargy, sneezing, crying spells, depression, chills and goosebumps, and zero appetite.

I'm now on day 10 and feel almost normal. I finally ate something for the first time in 6 days. I wake up in the morning with terrible anxiety but my doc gave me Ativan for it and ambien for sleep. I feel like someone who's on bed rest/disability and it's driving me nuts bc I just want to go back to normal life.

One thing I noticed with myself is that one day I'll feel good and then the next feel terrible so I try to enjoy my good moments while I can.

I've had 7 suboxone films in my purse this entire time and I refuse to ever get back on them. I'm going to give them to my doc to give to a patient who needs them more than I do. But don't get me wrong, Sub truly saved my life. But there comes a time to pay the piper which was now.

For those of you on day 4,5,6,7+ searching for answers on when you'll finally feel better, it's coming soon. Just talk with your doc about your symptoms (chills, sweats, anxiety) and they'll help you. If your doc won't give you anything for your detox (which in my opinion is inhumane), call a diff Sub doc and see them ASAP. Your doc may not understand what you're going through, but if they're any good, they'll try to make it comfortable for you as best as they can. I've called my doc at 4 am crying, called his office about every other day, etc. and they've made sure to give me medications that help.

If you're jumping without (or even with) the help of a doc, at least get some Xanax to get you through the peak. Without it, I would still be on Sub today.

At this point, I just keep telling myself that I'll feel better "tomorrow" and it gives me hope. My aches come and go, and I've just gotten used to the idea of eating pills and ibuprofen for breakfast. But I know it will end soon and I'm writing my progress down on my calendar.

Some moments seem hopeless, but for those of you who are searching for answers like I was, there is no answer. It will all depend on how long you've taken the drug, what MG you took, and support from friends, family, and your doc.

Good luck to anyone who's about to jump and congrats and thank you to the so many of you who kept me going day after day with your stories of getting better.


Great job!!!
I used Kratom for my WDS and it was 16mgs cold Turkey!! :);
Now it is day # 34 !!!
Stay strong!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 7:41 am 
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As an update, it is now 11 days since my last Sub dose.

I can usually gauge how good/bad I'll feel throughout the day by how I feel in the morning and this morning was the very first morning that I didn't have terrible anxiety. I still don't feel "normal" and get the occasional chill down my spine but I finally feel hopeful that it will get better from here.

I saw my doc yesterday, who told me to see him once I was 10 days clean of Suboxone to get the Vivitrol shot, which supposedly is supposed to take away my aches and my lethargy. Apparently, based on my symptoms of terrible aches, chills, some sweats, feeling constantly cold, and anxiety, he told me the Sub has not yet completely left my system. And here I thought it could just be PAWS. He told me it's because I was on Suboxone for so long that my brain is having a hard time letting go of the drug. He sent me home with Toradol (very strong NSAID) and more Ativan and said to come back when I feel normal. I told him I don't even know what normal feels like anymore at this point, but will try to get on his schedule next week.

My doctor and his partner have been named the best addiction doctors in my state for 10+ years straight and have been practicing medicine for 37+ years. I asked him: "What's the longest amount of time that you've seen a patient go through withdrawals before going on Vivitrol?" and his answer was "You". Hmm. I guess there's a first time for everything. :-)

Hope everyone else out there on the forum detoxing is having a decent day :-)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:27 am 
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I was off subs for about 40 days before I got my shot last summer. I was still having chills once in awhile and had a constant raw feeling under my skin that wouldn't go away. After the shot I immediately felt 100% myself for the first time. I agree with your doctor in that vivitrol probably helps by pushing out all the lingering sub. It definitely does something because 30 minutes after the shot was the first time I felt totally normal. A lot of people hate the shot because they either get it too early and go through hellish withdrawals or they still want to get high and realize they truly can't for 30+ days.

I continue to take the shot every 30 days an have only missed one month since last fall. The month I missed the shot I slipped briefly with both alcohol and pills. I immediately went back to the doctor for the shot. I decided to stay on it for at least a year while i work on my 12 step program. Hopefully I can get to a point where I can stay clean on my own with just a 12 step program. I think I am there today but am still cautious.

Good luck and you are making a great decision!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 5:29 am 
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Livin,

Thanks for your response! It gives me hope that I'll feel normal soon too. My docs tell me the same- that my lethargy and aches will go away and mood will improve bc it helps with endorphins. I get very mixed messages on Vivitrol and am on the fence whether to get it because Dr Junig is against it and my common sense tells me that my docs didn't start pushing it on patients (especially me bc I was a patient for so long) until recently.

Btw, today is day 14 free of Suboxone! :D

But I still feel like crap (good days and bad days) which makes me want to at least try Vivitrol. Honestly, I'm desperate at this point. I'm STILL on benzos and Clonodine bc of slight withdrawals and I def don't want a benzo withdrawal to deal with. Been there before and I will make sure I never deal with it again. I'm starting to have a hard time sleeping...I'm writing this at 5 am lol. But I'd say overall, my worst complaints of my detox are this:

1- My doc was relentless about Vivitrol. Had some kid come into my exam room and tell me how breezy everything was for him during his detox. Said he did it over the weekend and went to work on Monday just fine. Smh.

2- Aches that are like debilitating. I feel like an 87 year old arthritic person. People say exercise helps with detox/PAWS but I can barely move from the couch and haven't been to work in 2 weeks. Today I took my first bike ride which felt great and I'm gonna keep it going daily. Thank goodness I have an Australian shepherd (very high exercise demands) so he gets me off the couch whether I like it or not.

3- I sometimes feel like the same 19 year old girl because I'm so high on Ativan, Klonopin, Catapres, and also take Tornadol (not to be confused with Tramadol). Tornadol is a very strong NSAID that I was given for aches, but will 100% cause kidney damage if used longer than 3-5 days. Doesn't get you high , it's the other stuff I'm worried about. My doc gave me a 3 day script. Sadly, those don't even work anymore and I'm only on day 2 of the script. Sometimes I listen to "My Sweet Prince" by Placebo and certain Nirvana songs that bring back nostalgia but I def don't have cravings for any drugs. The only craving I have is for normalcy again. But sometimes it feels like I'm just at square one again because I'm so high on all of these pills. To put it in perspective, I take about 7-8+ mg of benzos, ambien doesn't work on me probably bc of the high amount of benzos, and when I asked my doc about a benzo taper, he told me we'd do it with phenobarbital. Great... :?

Btw, has anyone at all noticed its impossible to sleep past 5-6 AM anymore?


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 6:16 am 
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Pturo87 wrote:

Btw, has anyone at all noticed its impossible to sleep past 5-6 AM anymore?


Good early morning! Consider yourself lucky at day 14 to be sleeping until 5-6am! I was waking at 2 or 3 am for a few weeks there. "Finally" sleeping "in" ha ha until 5-6am now at day 25!
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:46 pm 
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i actually usually can't sleep until its light outside... I sleep best between 7am-Noon during my detox. Could be because I work until pretty late at night though and I was always a nightowl even before I became addicted to pills.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:51 am 
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Day 16 of being clean off Subs!

Saw my doc yesterday who STILL will not give me Vivitrol because I'm still showing withdrawal symptoms. I'm always cold, my muscles ache like crazy, and I still have barely any appetite although it's improved. I eat about every 3rd day or so and make sure to eat high calorie foods.

Gave me Neurontin for my pain which was a godsend and small doses of phenobarbital to get me off of the benzos.

Was really disappointed yesterday that I didn't get the shot because as I told my doc, I'm not sure how much longer I can take of the pain, lethargy, and being in a drug haze from all of the pills.

Looks like my morning started at 4:30 AM today but I'm just glad I finally was able to go to sleep without using Ambien! Ew I hate that stuff. After taking it at night, I wake up in the morning and feel like I'm in that movie Inception and I'm waiting for the music to start playing to wake me up lol.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:29 pm 
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Being at day 16 and still feeling sucky wd symptoms from the dose you jumped from isn't all that out of the ordinary. For some reason, there are those of us who get walloped by wd, especially if jumping off Suboxone from anything about 1.5 to 2mg.

Things will improve for you, it's just going to take a bit more time. Stay strong, try to eat daily, keep your liquids up and don't give up!!

BTW, I know exactly what you mean about Ambien and waking up like you're in that movie Inception. Ambien is some weird stuff.

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