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 Post subject: Final taperings
PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 7:45 pm 
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Well my story begins with a car accident leaving me near death and forever I thought on opiates and other medications. I was 24 then 44 now and finally I was placed on a pain pump with a newer drug called Prialt. Sea Slug poision. It is a Godsend. I have been almost bed bound for many of these years. And, now, I have returned to the living.

I was taken off IM demerol and Morphine, with a rapid detox and then placed on sub (wish the dr.'s had told me my options pertaining to sub being an opiate that I would have to face the horrors of w/d again). So for the past two years I only have had sub. in my system. When able to have pain pump implanted I was told I no longer required opiates. Ever again... Yea.

So in June I hopped on the taper wagon. From day 1 I have had insomnia. I am so lucky to get 2-4 hours. Until exhaustion hits and then I am able if lucky to get one night of 6. It is now Oct. Sleep deprivation I think causes so much of the mental issues of detoxng. My skin burn like it has a sunburn (this is the worst of my w/d's the one that has made it so I can't jump yet). The runs, sneezing, can't concentrate, mood's that swing from hot too cold. No rls but I think it is the only one I haven't had. Oh the muscle aches, and I have this each and every taper. Thank the powers that be when I take my dose 2 hours later the burn will stop for awhile. Then I balance out again, and the next day start another taper.

Now, I have to say that this is so minor compared to coming off of Demerol. I was sent to the hospital with convulsions. Gave me seizure, never had one till Demerol. However, coming off of sub is one of the biggest challenges I have ever had to place myself into. I have to allow myself to suffer and know here it comes again. I know my neighbors look over and say there is that crazy girl who screams in pain and maybe us if her mood takes her. I haven't been able to go in public and feel safe my moods jump too much. I would have lost my job, but with all my medical issues and being on this other drug now, which who know could be adding to my w/d's. But, it all started when I began to taper. I am so jealous of all those who say how easy it is.

I have discovered, while reading about others tapers, that the longer you were on opiates the harder the taper. I have a feeling it coincides with PAWS. You pay as hard you play. You don't know till you are on the trek.

Yes, liquid taper as soon as you can does help you get a true and set dose. I didn't realize it I am actually down to .125 and waiting to stabilize. I am so excited. Though, I too noted that the lower I get the longer it takes to stabilize... But, I tried to jump at .25 and I was tore up. I went 3 days but was screaming from the Burning I am having. Like all the nerves I have are awakening and telling me they didn't like what I had done to them. Took me a lot longer to get regulated again, still trying but I am almost there.

Now I haven't decided, and it sucks not knowing, whether I should do another 10 percent or just start adding time between dosing. I find that I hurt much less on the latter. My withdrawals are fewer because it is a slower taper. I take meds every 12 I will extend it to 14 for a few days then 16, 20, 24, 28 then hopefully off or until I can. The way I feel, decisions are difficult and the consequences severe. The mistakes I have made during this tapering, like trying to use sub patches to get me off was a disaster. Lost an entire month of benefit. We all should be on them instead though better system, much less medication needed because of its constant flow.

I will continue to post when I am actually able. I should be making, I hope, the decision of which taper to follow from here. Please give me any advice you may have in any area of my postings.

By the way, does anyone know how long it takes for sub to leave our systems at .5 mg and less? I know that 4 mg. goes to 2 mg. to 1 mg to .5 to .25 and Junig says a 8 mg. dose it takes 5 intervals of 37 hours to leave. For .5 would it .5 to .25 to .125 etc. ??? So, it too still will take the same duration of time??? I am confused.... Won't it stay until it hit 0? That would mean it stay much longer at larger doses.... Never was able to find out really and decent information pertaining to half life.

Thanks for the info.....


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 Post subject: bad title. Ha ha
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:26 pm 
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Well I sure like when you balance, you feel almost alive again. I slept my disrupted but almost 5 hours last night.
I went over to the liquid taper and am trying to find out where I really am. I do think I am almost leveled at .125 every 12 hours. I do notice that I am having less and less w/d. It isn't as drastic.

I have a little bit of energy and I am in a good mood. I exercised this morning which always makes you feel better, hit the sauna (get that stuff out of the fatty tissues) and a quick shower. Though hot soaks are so relieving when w/ding. Went out into the sun to watch my parrot run around the yard. Sat with my puppies.

Here I am with you. I will probably hold another 2 days if all goes well and I hold at 12 hours. It hurt at 10 1/2 so I may wait a few more. Pray for another good one.

TTFN


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 Post subject: Good Luck
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:29 pm 
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Please if you read this: At least leave a good luck...


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 Post subject: Keep it up!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:42 pm 
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Hey great job at tapering so low! I think I've had pretty similar feelings to what you've described. I just recently(last week) adjusted to .2mg/day (.1mg AM and .1mg PM). I'm working on taking a .15mg/day this week, haven't noticed much difference yet...but I'll give it a couple days. Sorry to be short, I'll post tomorrow...just wanted to say GOODLUCK :).


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:53 am 
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SJaxbch: Thanks so much for your support. Congrats on your tapering also... Keep up the good work... Please join me if you need a place to write your tapering story. It is important that all of us do this. We all learn by others mistakes. I could have done this so much better.

It is true everyone has to cater this program to their body reactions. All of us will go through this most challenging of life episodes. Each of us paying the Piper for the damage we did. I hope you all are able to find the otherside as safe and sane as I was luckily enough able to awaken too.

I am still adjusting over to the water taper. Do go on it if you are still playing with broken peices and unsure how much is really there. This makes it so that you are getting a relatively similar portion.

I am almost stable, the lower I get the longer it seems to stablize. I have found sub is soooooo slow to getting to the receptors. It takes up to two hours for me to get any relief when my burning returns. I wonder how much of the burn is neuropathy? But, since it started with tapering and when I take my suboxone it will go away. Hope it is only a rare withdrawal effect that not many of us get. This is what has stopped me from jumping. It is okay for two hours but 10 days? Failed on my first jump attempt. Do take the time, if you can, to slowly taper. I find I get impatient and cut my tapers by around 50% each drop.

I also, instead of taking emergency peices will take my full portion and wait a close to 12 hours I can get. I had to suffer from bad withdrawal through this whole ordeal. Cutting 1% hurt as much as 50%. On the lower doses though it is a bit different. I think it is due to half life of this crazy drug. You lose you doses quicker. This helps when you get to the final jump by shortening the detox time. Suboxone holds on to your receptors, 4 mg to 2 mg to 1 mg to .5 ect. till gone. Each step taking 37 hours to acheive. But curious how fast .125 will be out.

I sleep for the first time in it seems for ever 6 hours. It was wonderful. I look like a junkie when I see myself in the mirror. The tired, bagged eyes. Sleep depriviation is the one that is tearing me up. How do you keep yourself distracted when you are bedridden too much of your time? I have learned to be pretty creative. I have also found ways to dance in bed to get my heart rate up and stop the pain. Incredible how exercise, due to the endorphins you create, help. It is such a must and hot baths.

I am still in happy mood, love when you hit stable again. Though the thoughts of having to return to hell, by choice, gets better knowing I am on .125 twice a day. It can't be much longer almost there.

I hope all of you are well with this horrible tragedies of the hurricane Sandy. Please stay safe.

Wow lethargic. must go. Please post at least a hello...


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 Post subject: Tapering and Suffering
PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 2:18 pm 
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Wow Britianyann1,

You sure are going through hell with the tapering you're doing. Maybe once you jump it won't be too bad because you've already suffered through most of w/d symptoms. If you look up laddertippers taper journey you will see that she too had a long time of suffering through w/d's during her taper. But once she finally stopped the Suboxone it seemed like it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. At least that is what I'm hoping will happen to you. You surely don't deserve more pain, you've been through so much already.

Keep on posting and trudging the road to recovery.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 7:38 pm 
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Hey Brittany - I'm happy to share my story...In fact I have been and I'm pretty sure you read it because you commented on my thread :wink: ... Suboxone Taper - The final process. I posted a little update yesterday.

I don't think I've had quite as much difficulty tapering as you though, but that may have something to do with the length of time you were on opiates. Maybe you're feeling some legitimate pain issues, not related to the taper? It's definitely different for everyone, so we've got to go at our own pace. I'm also interested to see how the last little bit leaves our system. Stay around and keep on keeping on...
All the best!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:09 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hi BrittanyAnn!! I read your story yesterday for the first time, thought about it, and
then got on here this morning and read it again.
Do you know that you are an incredibly strong woman??? YOU SHOULD!!!! To endure what you have
and then come out with all of this positive energy....you are such an inspiration!
I am sure you are having a hard time stabilizing and all that in between dropping doses.
That's ok. Just keep taking your time, and doing what works for you. Don't worry about
what anyone else says (your neighbors) or thinks about your mood swings while doing it....Until
they do it themselves, they have no idea how you feel. It's all part of the territory of tapering.

I think that Rule said it all, and said it well. There are a lot of stories in the "stopping suboxone" section,
and the "Bupe in the Rearview" section. Laddertippers story is an excellent example. Reading things like that
should give you a little more hope, and maybe help keep that light at the end of the tunnel in sight.

I am definitely here for you if you just need to vent or need to talk to someone. Shoot me a PM. I have had almost
no time lately, and then The hurricane took our Power and cable and blah blah blah. I am grateful that
we are all perfectly fine and healthy and happy. But anyway, things are all back to normal here so I should be on
here everyday, a few times a day to check in. I love this forum so I try to check in often! LOL!

Good Luck to you sweetie, and just keep that head up! You should be so proud of yourself
and how much you have already overcome in your life. I am. Take Care~[/font]

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 Post subject: Thanks so very much.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:59 am 
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Thank you for all the support and wonderful thoughts. I am in a great mood last 3 days. A little more difficult this time to go back in the trenches.

You know Laddertripper gave me great hope till I followed her follow up and it SCARED me almost out of finishing my tapering. I then read all the simialr happenings and was discouraged more. I don't want to get to the otherside and do something stupid. I am having an already difficult time dealing with coming back to life and adjusting. It is a bit overwhelming and doing it neurotic because of the tapering has not been exactly helpful.

I am in a great mood and don't want to let the anxiety take over and send me spinning. Therefore, back to my tapering story. Today was wonderful, I slept again. I figured, that lower doses would make withdrawals worse. Luckily this doens't seem to be the case. I seem to be coming out of it each sub drop. I been having many of the PAWS issues, is that possible?

Careful all, Clonidine like suboxone, gives you dry mouth. It is my only salvation. I had reactions to everything else we attempted to use for comfort drugs. No psyche drugs. Bad Bad Bad reactions. I also had the one withdrawal symptom where you actually have visions of killing your self, anyone else? It was really scary, glad I had this site to help me understand all the things that can happen before it happened. Not understanding that it was a chemical reactions that you have absoutely no control over it. would have created unnecessary upset. Just chemical induced and not what is really happening to me. I now do understand what those with anxiety issues go through. How depression is so overwhelming. I have such new insights into people I never could have had. I hope that when this is all said and done, I am able to use what I learned here and go do something with it. Can't imagine having to go through so much and not have it end on a positive note. I feel blessed and cursed by this whole ordeal. But, it was one I beleive I was meant to go through, strange having no idea where I go from here. Forward....

Darn Rambling again. Can't think quite straight today. I made it 14 hours now between doses. Don't think I have the heart to taper down again into the abyss. I know I am gettting ready for 10 days of misery. Decided to go the other way. I will in another day i go to 16 hours then try for 20, 24 between dose. Keep adding until I feel I can jump. This way I don't have to suffer through a dip in my sub. This was another tapering method, I learned from this site. A suboxone dr. uses it to get his patient who are at around .5 mg.

All who tread this path are brave. I have read lots on this site, and this trek is not for the faint of heart. I don't know how you all are doing it. I truly am not able to be out and about, alone. I couldn't work, I would have yelled at my Boss and co workers. Can't take stress at all. Have panic attacks. All new when I began tapering. An incredible ride into the psyche. I am hoping this is the worst, best, and last challenge of this magnitude in my life. This is tough. Espeicially how we tend to so focus on the suboxone, all pills we take included, We have to count, cut, everything on tapering. It is the most horrible of ordeals.. Not a good way to start a clean life.

Please, when you can, use the water taper. I waited much too long. If you don't cut up your pills you get a better chance at a truly similar doses. I have found this to be helpful. I wish someone had told me how much easier it would be and using alcohol if you aren't a drinker makes it absorbtion better. Besides saving your product. Like Southern Comfort myself.

I digress again. There is so much I am not going to miss. I really want to be one that returns 5 years from now, to confirm with everyone they too have made it through, hopefully unscathed. Make a promise to yourself: If you falter, don't be ashamed. Get back on this site and tell someone. Don't let the depression get you. Talk with someone. Tell them your feelings don't let your story get back here telling me you tried to die. I can't take that thought anymore. If life is too overwhelming on suboxone, what will it be like without it. Please make sure this is a smart decision. Don't forget we are on a really aggressive opiate. Not to be trifled with and it keeps us from making GREAT decisions. We are doped up just feels better than when on full opiates. You have to have work and family in check. No guilt for the past, or it too can bite you on the otherside. You will have a long trek on the otherside. It is tough in the real world, suboxone can be the medication we need to be able to survive. No guilt for a medical condition should ever be looked down upon. We somehow need to get that truth to the outside world. No one can truly understand what we are going through but us who went there. We need to be the voices that let them know the truth. Has to be a way.

Can tell I changed my suboxone again. Ha ha. Must run feeling tired and have to try to sleep or I won't. Night everyone. Be safe and sane. Thanks for listening to my Ramblings. I hope to hear from you in the Post. At least a hello... Please and thank you.

Wasn't going to send decided I have to at all stages. If you don't hear from me in a day or two went down hard and will return. Have a good one you deserve it....

S. Jax Bch: I hope you are doing well. Appreciate that you are coming here wishing me well. Means a great deal to me. I hope your trek is also successful, and we reunite here in 5 years to let Dr. J know it is possible.... Stay happy and safe.


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 Post subject: continued
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:39 am 
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Sorry folks that i tell so much. Found I tend to Ramble now. Isn't tapering fun.

Tonight my Mom's dog attacked my dog because I made my dog yelp trying to pick her up and take her to bed. So now she is bit and freaking out and wants nothing to do with me.

I know should be no big deal, but I haven't been able to stop crying for 2 hours now. All I can do is fret over coming back from the land of pain, and picking up what is left of my life.

See, you can tell my suboxone is dipping again. Changing my approach though I still feel good about. Only able to make 14 hours again. I should have waited atleast three days when I went to 14 hours. Takes that long to really know you have lowered your amount. Jealous over those who don't have much w/d during the tapering. Wow, the blues have set in.

I digress, it seems though I didn't fall as far. It is irrational and I know it. Makes it much easier to control the stress aspects of it Do any of you feel guilt over the w/d's symptoms? Curious.

Think I will just go crawl in bed, wishing for sleep and cry. I lost my dog when I was under the suboxone spell. I wasn't able to crawl out of bed due to migraines and pain. When I have awoken from the opiate and pain spell. I had a dog, a parrot, and a boyfriend I couldn't take care of. How they all survived when I was under I don't know. Sadess part is I should have never been allowed to have any of them in that condition. Sob. Now, I dumped my boyfriend, and have ill mannered pets I can't control. Where is the dog whisperer when you need him. ha ha.

Sorry, had hoped this would create less, but tapering is tapering. I feel menatally better though. I know that when this episode quits, I won't have handled the situation well. Tapering is so hard...

Till next time...


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 5:49 pm 
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now afraid to write. I am now in full fledged detox. Atleast when the burning begins I know that suboxone will allow it to go away for a whiile. I will be able to jump when I hit detox and can withstand the burn for 10 plus days. Not yet, no way. Pain medication doesn't help. My pain pump helps a little with the joint and muscle aches.

Being in the car accident caused lots of pains to come back to life. I destroyed my legs and butt with IM medications. My thigha are causing the most pain and my pelvis that I broke into 5 peices. Heck broke my toe in Jan. It too re aches. Most of the time my medications assist with releif. I couldn't do without. But, I can't live without the my new medication it has been the Godsend I was hoping would find me. Wow my headaches are much more tolerable. Yea....

sorry, I am maniac now. But, it is so strange because I am becoming more and more aware at the same time. It is like slowly creeping out of the fog. Then of course thoughts of what is to be? What did I do when I was in those other states? And, I finally realized that I can't feel guilt over something, I can't change, and couldn't do anything about. Scarier to have to have medication so you can hopefully see, with sunglasses, sunlight today or out of your bedroom. I am being thrown back into a world I hope wants me back. Know in 10 or so minutes I will be happy again. I better sign off now. My apologies, can't help it though...

May your tapering go much easier.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:22 pm 
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^ Your post made me smile, Brittany.

Your manic thoughts are pretty normal right now. Isn't it amazing having your senses flooded all at the same time, for better or for worse? It's nice to feel..

At first I thought you jumped off by the in "full fledged detox" comment but the rest reads like you haven't or are not ready. Can you confirm? Either way we are all here for you. Keep working it.


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 Post subject: Curious
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:36 pm 
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Tiny Dancer: Thank you so very much. I tried to jump at .5 day three was screaming. Not quite ready yet. Feeling better though.

So, these levels of difficulties are normal? All of us aren't sleeping? For six months? I am always reading barely felt this. Mine due to the damage caused by my life threatening car accident. You can wear clothes? I was told I may have neuropathy, but it only starts when my body is demanding Suboxone. When I get a little bit in it goes away till the next time. So I believe it is part of my withdrawal, just couldn't find this one on the list. What stops it beside sub?

I have been through withdrawal from demerol cold turkey and almost died. I think this is a different level of suffering. I am not in convolutions, so it is withdrawal. Can't work like this. Can't be let out of house alone. Couldn't drive if I wanted to. I feel
like of coming out of insanity. Especially as I hit the lower doses. I hope that is what it is. It is beginning to ease off.

Grow so impatient. Want off this terrible drug. I didn't even know how much I was suppressed by it till I started releasing it. I get all freaky and I am driving my family into this abyss with me. It is heart wretching to come out of the dip and find out you were mean to everyone. It is harming them. i see the blues hitting them all. I am almost through darn it. Can see hope again though. Thought I lost it for a few though there is no other option but through.

If I had it all to do again. I would have gotten a rapid detox and just got it over with. Fighting hard not to. I don't know which process is harder on the body?

Sorry have to run. Withdrawals hitting again and OUCH.....


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 Post subject: Done
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:13 am 
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I am on the other side. Went and had a rapid detox done. Medical staff was top notch. The rehab had a lot to be desired. At least they left you alone.

I couldn't have done it otherwise. I get a burning that will cover my body and makes me scream in agony. So I opt to do the detox. It was well worth it. I am on the other side. Now I am suffering from PAWS and the burning is still here. To be expected though. Sob. The best thing is I don't feel nutty anymore. I feel more and more like myself.

You must do everything that will help during this period. Exercise, and vitamins are vital. Sauna if available is most important. It gets the suboxone out of your fatty tissues.

Eating well, not just junk counts.

Off to the after care forum.

Please you read these respond. say Hi Say you suck, but please say something.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:17 pm 
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I haven't seen too many people on this forum who have complained about burning skin when quitting Suboxone, but another forum I used to visit, a lot of those folks mentioned it.

I'm glad you decided to do an inpatient detox and I'm happy to hear it worked well for you!

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 Post subject: Continued
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 11:14 pm 
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Thanks Romeo you always leave me feeling better. Which forum had others that suffered. Yeah I looked it up and it is common. When I went to do the quick detox they knew about. Didn't say when it will go away, just have to take it day by day.

I am at 2 1/2 months clean. It is tough, at least for me on the other side. Better then during tapering though. No one ever stay on drugs for 18 years. It is harmful to your body and the Piper demands a big big payment. I am hoping it doesn't take me 2 years to finally feel better.

Good luck to all that attempt this road. For some it is a breeze for others it was HELL.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:47 am 
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Hey britianyann1,

I think the website that people were talking about the skin burning thing was Drugs.com?

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