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PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 12:04 am 
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I'm going to post this in faith that my plan will succeed. Plus, I need support & accountability from any of you who are able to provide it.

Okay, I've been doing the back & forth nonsense dance with oxy and Sub for about six months straight and it has to end! My "drug abuse history" has now hit a milestone...I dabbled with prescription pills with some modicum of control for about 2 years. At about that point my dependence/addiction escalated exponentially over the next about 3 years, ending with it costing me almost everything I held dear, including my self respect & dignity. After i failed a 6-8 month attempt at complete abstinence, I started Suboxone. I felt I'd found my answer it & planned to stay on it for about a year at the most. The honeymoon phase of my Sub use passed at about that one year mark and I had tapered pretty low and tried to quit, only to have brief lapses back to oxy and returns again to Sub. Fast forward 3 more years of more of the same. Suboxone just stopped working for "me." I take complete ownership of the role I played in it being so. I was wanting it (sub) to do most of the heavy lifting. And I did not do near enough recovery work of my own. Sub or no Sub, high doses or low doses, Sub just wasn't controlling my cravings at all anymore. And promise, pray, beg or berate myself, I haven't been able to stay away from oxy binges when I had (and selfishly took) any opportunity I had to obtain some oxy. So as I said...I'm about to hit a milestone...close to TEN friggin years I've been playing hide and seek, hit and miss, back and forth with drug abuse, Suboxone use, etc. The madness must end! It's finally time! Ten years is too damn long. I'm 49 years old and I refuse to turn 50 and still be stuck in this same place! I simply can't keep it up....I'm tired...and it's time for me to pick myself up and truly get "me" back. I just finished an excellent book and am already reading for the second time. It's like God just drew me right to it. It's beautiful and simple, yet profound, and just right on with everything this author writes. It's called Addiction and Grace, by Gerald G May.

Okay, to the nitty-gritty. Here's what I've done. As I mentioned before, I've been taking mostly low doses of Sub for weeks at a time, then binging on oxy for a few days at a time for a while now. The past 10 days have gone like this: stopped Sub and began taking ~60 - 90mg of oxy a day for 4 days, then 30-60mg of oxy for another 3 days, then 30mg of oxy a day for 2 days. At that point I was out of oxy and the Sub which was stacked in my system is now gone...I know this because within 12 hours of that last oxy, withdrawal had set in. At that point (which was yesterday) I took (in split doses as needed for w/d symptoms) a total of about 3-4 mg of Sub. It was enough to abate the w/d a fair bit but not completely by any means. I took an Ambien, a zanaflex (muscle relaxer), clonidine 0.1mg and 75mg of benedryl throughout the course of the evening and took a hot bath. I was able to sleep for about 4 hours, took another zanaflex and went back to sleep for 4 more. Slept well except for having to get up to pee all night. I've noticed that when I detox, I have urinary frequency big time!...peeing out that nasty oxy, I guess!
Today I got up feeling decent except for runny nose, mild sweats and (classic w/d symptom, my worst) aching leg bones, and mild lethargy. Took about a 1.5 mg Sub and 800mg Motrin this morning and repeated both this evening. It's getting late so I'm going to repeat last night's Ambien, clonidine, zanaflex and benedryl and see if I'll fare as well sleep wise as last night. Today put me at a little less Sub for the day at around 3mg total. Tomorrow I'll see if I can make it with less.

Plan being to abate the worst of the acutes with a low rapid Sub taper over 7-10 days, then off everything except comfort meds as needed. So far, so good. I just feel different this time. I've never been able to even fathom saying I never want another opiate because my cravings have been so strong. I felt a shift this time....My craving to be off all this shit and be me again and move forward, finally, are stronger than the cravings for the drugs.
Pray for me please. I have been weak, but with Christ, I am strong...


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:39 pm 
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I'm going to try to update at least every other day or so to track my progress and for anyone else seeking "unconventional" ways to stop Sub.
I do not recommend this to anyone who isn't completely ready and sure it's their time to stop Suboxone. I also wouldn't recommend this method to anyone who hasn't seriously attempted to just taper and stop Sub and failed at least once or twice.
Today is day three from stopping the oxy I had used for 9 days to 'cover' my withdrawal from Sub, to sort of allow the sub that had stacked in my system to clear out. I slept all the way through last night...six hours straight! I awakened feeling pretty good other than tolerable leg pain. I dosed ~1/2 mg of Sub about two hours after awakening. I had a busy and stressful day which actually was a benefit...kept my mind and body busy. At about 4 PM I had some chills and sweats, runny nose and increasing leg pain, so I dosed about another 1/2-1 mg piece of Sub. That got me through just fine. It's now 9pm or so and I've taken my nightly comfort meds...clonidine and Ambien and zanaflex and will be turning in within an hour or so.
I'm feeling very confident that this is going to work. I feel real good mentally. Had a fleeting craving for oxy during the stressful day, but was able to quickly redirect my thoughts. That is big progress for me!
We shall see what the night and tomorrow brings.
Prayers appreciated!


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:46 pm 
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Hey Barelyboxed!

Dang, you are doing a fantastic job! Make sure your drinking plenty of water and eating some good old fruits and veggies! I am so glad that you're posting your progress, keep it up! :D

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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:39 am 
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Praying....(for u) and IT WORKS... Its how I stopped H... You are doing IT HI-5 sugar.... You CAN do anything if you really choose it... PS I tapered heroin!!!! ANything CAN be done..............Blessings to you


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