It is currently Wed Aug 16, 2017 9:20 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Fantasizing a high?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 4:54 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 458
Location: New York
I was wondering if this happens to any of you. I fantasize that I am in the hospital. Since I had surgery recently, I lay down a lot. I put the t.v. on and my night table has all kinds of things the nurse needs when she comes to change my dressing. My daughter puts my medications on it too. I take my blood pressure at home and was told to take my temperature. I start to make believe I'm in the hospital. How ridiculous! I know it's because in the hospital there is so much medication and when I have surgery(I have had 7 in the last two years) they give me morphine & dilaudid, Percs, you name it. Boy, the things your mind does chasing that high. Does anything like this happen to you?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 8:00 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 991
Fortunately for me......no. I don't ever fantasize about being high. It is probably because I was so miserable at the end of my addiction that I associate narcotics with withdrawal and not being high. It has also been about 3 years since I have been high and I think I have forgotten what it was like. I can no longer imagine that feeling. Thank God! I am sure others have this feeling, but I thought I would post anyways so you would know that eventually for some of us.....that goes away. It may not torment you forever.

Cherie

_________________
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

- Winston Churchill


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Fantasy
PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 11:31 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 458
Location: New York
Thanks for sharing. I have to admire the way you handle your addiction. I can't wait to say "today is 1 yr I'm sober, or 6 mos. or even 3 weeks". How great.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 11:53 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:35 pm
Posts: 170
Hello Queenie,

In the begining of my treatment I thought, dreamed, and fantisized about using all day long. I would even go into the bathroom at work during my break {Where I would usually sniff a few pills} and sit down and think oh yeah what am I doing or when I get out of work go right to my room, go to get my little book and straw and think what the fuck am I doing. I had so much free time on my hands I was making myself crazy. I would just lay in bed dreaming about sniffing pills to the point where I actully felt like it was real. I didn't know what do and was making myself crazy obsessing over pills.

After my relapse I started going to NA and counciling and took up a lot of time. I began learning coping mecanizims{can't spell} and staying busy with something positive has helped my so much, its like I am a new person.

Do I still think about yes, but everyday it gets better and lately most of the time the the thought of it makes me sick. Trust me gets better I hope someday I can say I never think about it or can't even remember the high. Hatmaker you give me hope! Queenie keep up the good work!! :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 12:07 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:29 pm
Posts: 119
Hi queenie,

I must admit, even though I sometimes get really stressed or something comes up and I don't like the things I am feeling and would like to numb out, I never fanatcize about getting high or acquiring opiates.

My last couple of years of active addiction were such a nightmare that I had lost hope of ever recovering because I had relapsed so many times. At the end of my addiction there were many nights that I was terrified to go to sleep because I had taken massive amounts of oxycontin topped off with a handful of benzos and at the same time really didn't care if I did wake up, because I was already living in hell.

There is a saying that when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, then you are ready for a change. I was definately sick and tired of the way I was living and there is nothing that would make me go back to that hell. Even when I am overly stressed or wanting to numb out my feeling, I play the tape to the end, and I know that even though I may get some instant relief, the hell that follows is no longer worth that brief moment of being numb.

I think once you get some solid recovery behind you, and know how much better everything is when you are actually living life again, when people start noticing a difference in you, when you realize it is okay to feel again, when you start looking forward to the next day, these fantasies will start to fade.

Most addicts use opiates to numb both physical and emotional pain. Are you seeing a therapist to help you understand why you want to be high to live life or even enjoy life? I know for me, seeing a therapist really helped me understand what it was that opiates did for me, what void it was filling.

Stick around queenie! You are asking the same questions many of us probably have at some point! I am sure you will get several more responses and opinions on this subject. I promise you this, get yourself stable on sub and one day at a time you WILL have three weeks clean, 6 months clean, 1 year clean, and then you can say, I did it!

Lizzy


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group