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 Post subject: family support?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:41 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:14 pm
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Location: Petoskey, MI
hi all! i'm at my moms on vacation, unfortunately my sister is here as well. she works for a prosecuting attorney, and looks down her nose at me because of my addiction issues. she is older than me, all my life growing up she was always trying to prove that she is the superior one. she got her chance with this and she is using it to her full advantage although i have had my shit together for many years. just now she was complaining of a tooth ache, so i suggested tylenol. she sneered and said, in front of everyone, "i'm not a pill popper!" this is by far not the only time she has done this. i do know that she is a straight up narcissist, but still, that is pretty low and petty. family is supposed to be the biggest support system, thank God i have you guys! thanx for letting me vent. and happy 4th!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:50 pm 
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Oh pugmommy, that was just uncalled for on her part! If I were in your shoes, I'd try to be reminding myself that her bad behavior is a reflection on HER and her issues and not you. She obviously has a need to point out your past mistakes because it must make her feel better about herself. That's just sad. You know that you're better than that.

If she does this often, you can prepare ahead of time what you'd like to say the next time she pulls this crap. For example, you could respond with something like, "Maybe I used to have a problem with addiction, but I wasn't ever mean like that! What's your excuse?" Or maybe that's just something I would say! A bit on the snipish side, I know. LOL.

But you get my meaning....you could plan ahead to respond in any number of ways, either with compassion, with sarcasm, or in kind. It's up to you how you respond, but you have an opportunity here to perhaps take the lead in your sisterly relationship and maybe even help to determine where it goes from here just by your response. Or maybe I'm just being too optimistic. It's worth considering how you want to handle it. Hell, you could even take that opportunity to pull her aside and just talk to her and tell her you don't appreciate her dragging your past mistakes through the mud in front of the entire family when all you did was offer her a freakin' Tylenol and that if she doesn't have anything nice to say to not say anything at all.

You get my drift. Remember...this is HER problem, not yours. Good luck in addressing this with her next time. Regain your power and call her on her bad behavior. It's very empowering to be assertive.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:01 pm 
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hi Hat! i am so glad i can always count on you for good advice. its hard dealing with narcissism, they come off as better than someone else, but really they have no self esteem. i would love to tell her off, as you said, but giving her any response just feeds into it. i have chosen to ignore her, she hates that. oh well! i have a family here. thanks again for being there.


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