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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:03 pm 
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Up until I realized I had an addiction, I did not realize that my whole family has struggled with it as well. Of course I'm close with my family, but there were other secrets that had been taboo to speak of until I decided to tell all of my loved ones about my situation.
My mother started out telling me that since she could remember, her father was drunk every single day of the week. And when he wasnt, he was laying in bed all day, mad at the world. She could remember all the things that he would do to desperately get the drunk feeling, even resorting to rubbing alcohol. And then she progressed to tell me about ny own father who would not come home for nights, a couple of tines he was found asleep on the side of the road in our small rural town. Don't get me wrong, my dad was a financially responsible man, and gave us everything we needed. But he wasnt there to tell us, don't go with those people, there bad news or how was your day today. I missed you and loved you. Nope, not my dad. His idea of being there for us was picking me up and buying ne something, and then take me home. And then my sister, who started smoking weed, then advanced to weed and meth. I remember as a little girl seeing my sister laying on the couch all day, sometimes shed cry, sometimes shed yell, sometimes shed continuously shake her leg, and would do that alllll day until night fall, and then one of her boyfriends would come pick her up. She wouldn't get home till I got up for school, and when shed get there, she was so happy. She would laugh and dance... I would always wonder why is she so happy. Then when I got home from school, the same cycle, laying on the couch....and I never understood why it was like that until recently. Momma said, Syl, it runs in out family , weather u like it or not. The only thing we can do is love each other and help each other, no matter what the addiction may be. And she's right.
My grandfather died a couple of months after I was born, he lost his life to liver failure and lung cancer. I never got to meet him, and my mom says that everyone loved him, and he was a smart intelligent, funny man.
My dad quit drinking as soon as he found out he had pancreatitis, which he almost died from, and was diagnosed with diabetes. My dad has really come out of his shell in the last five years, and I'm so happy for that because now I can actually have a dad. He tells the cheesiest jokes too.
My sister got off her drugs and straighted her life out, has a good paying job, and stopped smoking meth. She has been diagnosed with fibroid myalgia , sorry for my spelling, and is still in pain. she says her pain meds don't work for her, even though she takes a really strong pain killer and every two weeks she's in the er and they can't find anything else wrong with her. She takes all of her pain meds withing two weeks though they are supposed to last her for a month. I think she is still addicted. I'm not saying she is not in pain. But every two weeks she never hesitates to ask me if I can get her some pills. I can't do it this time around.

My family is full of colorful personalities, great skills and ideas and are good people. But sometimes even good people can hide things really well, either because they are ashamed, hurt, or just plain ol don't know what to do. But if any family has love for one another, all the things that make them great can cast clouds over anything the struggle with, and in my case addiction. I love my family no matter what.


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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 8:34 pm 
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I just had a nice response typed out for ya and then the power went out here for a second and I lost it.

Basically, a lot of your story rang true for me too. Both of my grandfathers died as a result of their addiction. There are alos other members of my family with addiction issues, but it wasn't until I was in my 30's (and a full fledged addict) that I was told any of this.

It's so sad that these truths are hidden from us. Too many people still view addiction as a moral failing rather than the legitimate brain disorder that it is.

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 Post subject: Heredity of addiction
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:57 pm 
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Syl, that was a good post. I think you are on the money with that statement, that it runs in the family. I have seen this over and over again in many families. Mine is no different. My mom and dad are both addicts. As are all of my aunts and uncles...well, out of 4 I only have 2 left and one of those on her last years of life all because of drugs and alcohol. On my dad's side my grandfather was an alcoholic his whole life...until the day he died. He had a massive stroke at the age of 69. His dad was also an alcoholic and I think it goes back even further than that. On my moms side I know that my grandmother was addicted to valium for over 30 years, she never got past that. She died of unrelated issues at 52. But her father was an alcoholic...not sure of his family history because he was not in her life, left her mother when she was only a couple years old and never contacted her again. My Grandfather was fine but his mom and dad were both alcoholics. They were very "social drinkers". Holidays in our house looked like an open bar. My great grandmother knitted my grandmother special lace cocktail glass covers which were never used except on the occasions they could be pried away from the horse tracks and drove down from SanDiego for thanksgiving and christmas.

I know that this does not excuse our addictions...but it definitely explains some of it. I am fully aware of the dangers for my kids and I hope that when they are old enough to make decisions about drinking and drugs on their own they will learn from my mistakes. In the mean time I will do everything possible to keep anything addictive from being prescribed to them. I wouldn't let them take a pain pill unless they were practically dying in front of me. It may sound harsh but I won't be the one who gets them started on that road. It scares the hell out of me thinking they will wind up like me...


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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 3:40 pm 
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That is one thing I can't bear to even think of, my kids following the same path, and that's the main reason I decided to get REAL. It really bothered me when my mom said it just ran in our family because I've been the one who said nothing runs me, I run this show, can't nothing overpower me. But it happened ! And my mom is the one who made me realize it before I could on my own. I'm not happy that my family has struggled with addiction, but I am thankful that I am not alone. I know that no one can fix my problems, but I I know that family and friends who are family can BE THERE when I face them. Even to those who have no family, if u put the RIGHT people in your life, they can also be there to help you face anything. To anyone who has an addiction to anything , you should know that you are never alone.

Thank you both for sharing your insight. It really means something to hear that I am not alone. I really enjoy reading the forums. I think I might be on here more than Facebook lol. Much love !


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