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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:34 pm 
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Location: Southeastern US (Alabama)
This story isn't about me, per se..cause I'm not still messing around..but it regards my family.

Let's see if I can sum this up quickly without getting boring with it...

I was adopted when I was 3. My mom gave me up to her dad and step-mother...so I was raised by my step-grandmother and grandfather. I found out who my mom was when I was 17 on my own (found a letter my mom had written during the adoption)..so I knew. Got married..went into the world. My grandfather passed away when I was 8. My step-grandmother passed when I was 18. My mom lived nextdoor for most of my life, but I was told she was my sister...and I thought nothing of it until I found that letter. My mom was always into drugs and shit..pills..whatever. She gave me up to party with alcohol..and it just went down from there with her abuse of various other "substances".

Ok..fast forward to me being 24. I had a "relationship" with my mom..but it was strained. Partially because she helped introduce me to pain pills at an early time in my marriage...but that's beside the point here. I met my dad, thanks to some help from my mom telling me where he lived, and where he was working...and she even had his phone number. So I called him up. He lived in Picayune, MS..which is about 5 hours away from me. We were going to visit friends that we met on the internet back in 2002..they lived in Gonzalez, Louisiana, which meant we would be passing through Picayune. So I called my dad. First time ever...but I called him. Talked for a while..was the 2nd time I had ever heard his voice. The first time I had ever called him, my mom had put me up to calling him..and he didn't really want to talk to me. It was about a 2 minute conversation. This time, he said it sounded like I had straightened my life up and he was willing to meet me, and meet his granddaughter for the first time ever. I also found out that I had an entire family in Picayune that I was unaware of....3 brothers and a grandmother that I never knew..so I was ALL for it.

We made our trip...I met my family. Hit it off great..and I found out where I get most of my attitude and who I am....I'm almost exactly like my dad. We think alike, we act alike..and we are pretty damn close to looking alike.

Here's the problem...with the brothers. My brothers have been in various troubles of their own. My youngest brother turned 17 yesterday..he hasn't done too much..but the middle one..he's about 23 now...he's making a name for himself in the drug arena. The closest one to me in age has finally settled down and has a daughter...my little niece was born last August...and he's doing ok. Now, the oldest one has been to prison for hauling drugs from Mississippi to Texas. He got caught in Texas by the state troopers and it was such a large amount of cocaine and pills that he went to prison, even with a good lawyer. So he's done his time..

The ONLY brother I told about my Suboxone was the middle one..the one that I thought wouldn't say much..turns out HE DID...apparently. Obviously he did, because my oldest brother hit me up about suboxone today..and has a strong dislike for it. He's told me that I really couldn't say much about drug addicts when I'm taking..blah..I'll just quote it...from Facebook.

We weren't talking about me..he was just saying this in general..but I could tell what he meant:

Quote:
"U can't judge people for doing drugs when u take subs. That's just a legal buzz for addicts. I know the withdraws are bad but u don't have to take subs just because u used to be addicted to pain pills. ( When I say u I'm refering to anyone on them) I know they prescribe that shit but its not necessary."


Now although I'm quick to know what to say here on this site when it comes to this..I'm finding myself at a loss on what to say to my brother. He feels that way because he knows addicts..not because he knows clean people who have succeeded with Suboxone. Just because a bunch of addicts abuse Suboxone and tell you about it doesn't mean that they speak the truth..and people think they know so much about this drug that they are entitled to talk to people who take it this way. I'd like to tell him otherwise, but doing prison time for oxy's made him feel pretty harshly about the shit. What's odd, he told me that he takes a painkiller now and then, and still smokes a little pot..which I'm not really concerned with...

To me, it sounds like he's getting his information about Suboxone from a bunch of people who abuse the hell out of it or take 10 pills a day..instead of people who have successfully turned their lives around because of the treatment with this drug. Either way..I'm not up for a debate with my brother...I just don't know what I should tell him about his feelings..if anything at all. I hate to say much because we're all kind of strained as far as being close. My youngest brother is just getting to that age...the next brother has come "out of the closet" and pretty much all he does is party with his little gay boyfriend..and my oldest brother is trying to support his g/f and daughter, while watching this crap that my middle brother is doing. He brags all the time about partying and getting high...and thinks it is ok..and I hate it. My dad has become soft to it..and just lets it go...and my oldest bro told me today that he's not going to let his daughter be around my dad if dad is going to allow my middle bro to get by with his bullshit without saying a word about it (plus my middle bro lives with my dad..along with these little gay b/fs that he decides to "date")

I hate to sound homophobic..and I'm not..so no offense to anyone here who might be ..uhm.homosexual. I just do NOT agree with the lifestyle..it's not for me..and I don't care to explain that to my kids when they ask questions. It's also not the ONLY reason that I am at ends with my brother...there's other things that he's doing/has done that have caused family problems...but that's for another time (if I decide to even mention those items)


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:47 am 
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J sounds like there is a lot going on in your family, and my 2 cents would be to let it go. He said what he had to say and you know what is right for you. it isn't worth rocking the boat. Nobody is perfect so i would take the high road (not litterally of course) You have your family (wife and kids) so focus on making a good life for them and teach them acceptance. I do not mean accept poor behavior, but people are who they are and nothing you or I can do to change that so decide if you want your family around them or not. I mean do they add happiness or unhappiness. I have had to let some family members go bc they think they are better than me and that their shit dont stink. Ya know what? I am happy living my life NOT listening to their snide remarks and nasty comments. I try to live my life being the best person I can be. If we all did that the world would be a better place. People are so quick to judge and really there is only ONE judge in my book and that is our maker. Opinions are like A-holes ya know? ha ha. SOmetimes saying nothing at all makes a bigger statement. So enjoy your wife and kids and let everything else just roll off your shoulders.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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