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 Post subject: Faith and recovery
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 5:32 am 
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Just curious. What role does spirituality play in your life and your recovery? Do you believe in a higher power? Do you consider yourself religious?

I personally find myself at a junction, coming out of a really nasty relapse, lucky to be alive really. I've come out with nearly nothing, and many doors that were once open are no longer. But the rooms of the fellowship are always open and there's always a place to sit, people there telling my story. They speak of this thing called a "higher powa", then they identify themselves as X years clean, no Sub, no methadone. They're not perfect, just human.. addicts like you and I, but they've managed to string together significant time with no opioids.

So what's the link between this higher power and recovery? Is there one? Do those of us in recovery who are spiritual manage to live with more balance than those of us who do not?


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 2:06 pm 
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My higher power is constantly changing. It started off as something totally different than it is today. At first it was the rooms and the people in them helping me out. Now it has evolved into not only that but anything positive in my life really. Well. I credit all the positive things in my life to my higher power. For example. When all the lights on the way to work are green.... HP. When my paycheck is more than my bills.... HP. Being able to enjoy suboxone clinic and pay for it... HP. The fact that I am getting married June 15th and she absolutely loves me regardless of my addiction... HP.

So. It is many many different things for me now. My sponsor, my fiance, suboxone, doctors, folks at meetings, the cops, my boss, and things more powerful than myself that cause positive change.

On the flip side. I pray regularly. This is something new for me this go round. I always thought that if you pray, you're drinking the freakin Kool aid lol. The funny thing was when I started praying and things started to work out for me, I became a believer. I pray to stay clean, keep sane, and do the next right things these days upon waking up. I do my best to turn my day over when something goes array. This helps alot too. It allows me to get outside of myself for a second and see whats important. Also. Not get caught up in drama and trouble lol.

Having faith allows me not to worry all the time anymore. I know that if I stay clean and continue to do the right things (my higher powers will) then I will always be taken care of. It sounds crazy but it's true. If I help out people that ask and just do everything I can to be productive... Not just please myself... Things work out. I never go without. Ever. And I don't make too much money.

So. I hope that helped a little bit sharing my experience this far with it. But. I hope you find some faith and can let go of what Teejay wants and wants to do all the time.

It makes life so much better /easier.

Gold luck mate.


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 2:39 pm 
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I have just recently started to attend AA and have yet to find my higher power. Even though I've only been going a short time I can honestly say I love it! Not only does it hold me accountable. It's so nice to have people there for you who have been there done that. It's nice to be able to lean on people in your time of need. Especially those who can really relate to what you're going through. I figure if I stuck it out and keep going I will eventually find my higher power and it will help me out tremendously with my sobriety.

Moviemaker, your post helped me a lot so thank you for that. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials!!! I wish you and your fiancé many happy years together. I've been married six years and I must say its great to have a partner by my side during this crazy roller coaster ride we call life. However, marriage has definitely taught me what it means to compromise. Lol.

Good luck to you,

Squeaky

_________________
"always be at war with your vices, and at peace with your neighbors."


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 7:00 pm 
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Thanks guys for your input. And congratulations MM that's a huge progression in your life. There's always a humility and consistency in your posts, so much so I'm not surprised you're always connected to something "greater than".

I've personally dipped in and out of spirituality over the years. To be honest there's a lingering fear of spirituality. I've always associated it with losing my mind a bit, given I had a few manic episodes in my teens and early 20's that had a definite religious overtone. But there has been times I've prayed in recovery, maintained my sanity, and noticed that things just started to work out. Something about it quietens the pessimism just enough to keep calm and carry on. It was as if a missing puzzle piece fell into place.

I guess you could say in recent years, medicine has been my higher power, be it Suboxone or psychiatry. I always had hope there'd be an answer to my problems in a new treatment. But it seems I've done my dash with medicine, and there's a lack of answers. There's an allergy to anti-depressants, and Suboxone is no panacea.

It gives some hope to know from your posts that being on Suboxone is no barrier to spirituality.


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 1:47 am 
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Hey. Thanks man. Thanks to you both really.

My life didn't start to actually change and actually get better in a real sense until I tried to find spirituality in my life/recovery.

I tried just going to meetings and not doing much, going to counseling/random treatments, taking suboxone and just living life, ect. I tried tons of variations of many things to try and not only stay clean but be happy doing it and that puzzle didn't come together for me until I just completely gave up trying to control how my recovery or life was GOING to work. I just started listening to others that seemed at least half sane, made some clean friends to hang with... Well one lol..., giving recovery an HONEST attempt, forcing myself to do "right things" until it stuck, and prayed/lived a somewhat spiritual way.

Faith has changed my life drastically. I'll say that again..... FAITH has changed my LIFE drastically. Not just my recovery "life"


Being able to wake up, go to work, play around, and go to bed... All without worrying about problems I have to fix or bullshit that doesn't really matter.... Is the best thing ever. This is why I don't stress the whole getting off of suboxone thing. I feel like if I'm supposed to be off of it, then things will present themselves at the right time. Now. I'm not an advocate for saying that I don't have to worry about ANYTHING because my HP will take care of me NO MATTER WHAT. Many don't plan ahead or anything. Even quit jobs. All because their hp will take care of it. This is so not the way it was intended to be understood.

You have to take care of yourself ahead of all else. If you are wreck less and still act super self centered.... Like quitting a job because you don't get your way.... Your hp isn't going to be their waiting to catch you.

My point is. Do the best you can and your hp will take care of you. End of story.

Also. Your hp doesnt "test" you. It doesn't put drugs in your face to ser if you'll do them or make your tire go flat in the way to work ti see how you handle it. You put yourself around drugs and tire flattening is just the luck of the draw. Your hp isn't going to do anything to hurt you. It's here to help. That's all. It'll never give you more than you can handle.


So. I'm happy today. Happy with my life. Happy with my one good friend. Just happy. All because I continue to do the best that I can to stay clean, do the right things, make good decisions, ect. And in return my higher power watches over me. Whether it's the unexpected bonus at work when I'm strapped for cash, a friend feeding me a kick ass meal when I'm starving lol, or this happiness I feel on a daily basis. He's there. I trust him. It works.

:-)


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 11:26 am 
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Wow im glad i came across this thread! Im still finding my way through this recovery stuff. Im not religious really, but i guess i am spritual. I find it hard to believe in "god" and the way of the bible. Im more scientific. I do however believe there is SOMETHING out there bigger than us all, be it an energy a "god" or some other type of force. I really dont have anything to add to this thread, because im unexpirenced in thos area, as i said im still finding my way

moviemaker, it was really refreshing to read such uplifting posts from you! Im glad you are doing well in your recovery/life in general and have found your higher power! And of course congrats on your engagement! So from what i understand from your posts you basically found your hp when you "gave up" trying to control your life and recovery in every aspect? Just found the belief that you alone cant control every little thing, but if you let it your hp will take care of you?

Im new to actual recovery, ive been on suboxone for a little over 2 years, but i havent really done anything for real recovery. I dont know why, but it just never really clicked until recently that i need to work on recovery. That suboxone alone isnt going to help me long-term. So im basically just beginning to get some "real" recovery.


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 3:08 pm 
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MovieMaker1 wrote:
Hey. Thanks man. Thanks to you both really.

My life didn't start to actually change and actually get better in a real sense until I tried to find spirituality in my life/recovery.

I tried just going to meetings and not doing much, going to counseling/random treatments, taking suboxone and just living life, ect. I tried tons of variations of many things to try and not only stay clean but be happy doing it and that puzzle didn't come together for me until I just completely gave up trying to control how my recovery or life was GOING to work. I just started listening to others that seemed at least half sane, made some clean friends to hang with... Well one lol..., giving recovery an HONEST attempt, forcing myself to do "right things" until it stuck, and prayed/lived a somewhat spiritual way.

Faith has changed my life drastically. I'll say that again..... FAITH has changed my LIFE drastically. Not just my recovery "life"


Being able to wake up, go to work, play around, and go to bed... All without worrying about problems I have to fix or bullshit that doesn't really matter.... Is the best thing ever. This is why I don't stress the whole getting off of suboxone thing. I feel like if I'm supposed to be off of it, then things will present themselves at the right time. Now. I'm not an advocate for saying that I don't have to worry about ANYTHING because my HP will take care of me NO MATTER WHAT. Many don't plan ahead or anything. Even quit jobs. All because their hp will take care of it. This is so not the way it was intended to be understood.

You have to take care of yourself ahead of all else. If you are wreck less and still act super self centered.... Like quitting a job because you don't get your way.... Your hp isn't going to be their waiting to catch you.

My point is. Do the best you can and your hp will take care of you. End of story.

Also. Your hp doesnt "test" you. It doesn't put drugs in your face to ser if you'll do them or make your tire go flat in the way to work ti see how you handle it. You put yourself around drugs and tire flattening is just the luck of the draw. Your hp isn't going to do anything to hurt you. It's here to help. That's all. It'll never give you more than you can handle.


So. I'm happy today. Happy with my life. Happy with my one good friend. Just happy. All because I continue to do the best that I can to stay clean, do the right things, make good decisions, ect. And in return my higher power watches over me. Whether it's the unexpected bonus at work when I'm strapped for cash, a friend feeding me a kick ass meal when I'm starving lol, or this happiness I feel on a daily basis. He's there. I trust him. It works.

:-)


Are you seriously doing what I think you're doing? If so, I feel sick to stomach.


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 6:33 pm 
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What are you talking about Tiny? :-\

Anyways. I'm glad you liked the post. It doesn't happen overnight by any means and builds overtime. Just start simple. Start small.

Glad you enjoyed my posts though. I swear by it because combined with suboxone it is one of the biggest things that changed my life after so much trial and error in recovery.


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