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PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:21 am 
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It's true. Everyone on this forum is still ALIVE and even functioning after all the years of bull shit. No matter how true, I don't process this well in the way that after all the crappy things I did to betray loved ones during active addiction, I rarely pat myself on the back for remission. I'm not compelled to pat myself on the back when simply just NOT doing all those things and just living a normal existence feels too f*cking middle. So I read a lot and and hear a lot and view a lot of online posts that declares how brutal opiate addiction is and how hard it is for anyone to heal from it and how the majority don't even survive it. And then I remember I'm an opiate addict, and remember that I've been an opiate addict. I don't like it to be a part of my identity; it's always something about NA that rubs me the wrong way, that it has to be this huge determining characteristic of my personal profile, and I think that can be counter-productive for most people, to integrate "being an addict" into their everyday thought processes to the point that it serves too much of a purpose that goes way beyond vigilant self-preservation and rigorous honesty. Of course medication assisted therapy makes it easier on us for any given time frame than cold turkey abstinence, but it's still a struggle to rebuild your relationships and life overall and start enjoying real life again without being high. It was hard enough holding things together when we WERE high and most of us failed at some point or another. Let's not forget the additional discrimination of our treatment, as if addict-shaming weren't enough. It'd be way too easy to internalize all that.

So today I remember that I'm not desperate for pills, and I remember that I have a job, better karma, better relationships with family members, creative energy, and an SO who helped save me by being the first addict with first hand experience with sub to tell me to go on it (well before we were even dating). Oh, and in two weeks I find out if I won a writing contest. So if not a pat on the back, at least cut yourself some slack. Just wanted you to know what I know. We're all privileged to be on this forum but it's a privilege we've done something or another to earn since the dark days of using.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:08 pm 
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Nice thoughts. If I had my own 'I have a dream' speech, it would be that addiction becomes just another illness-- that adds no more to one's identity than a diagnosis of asthma.

Kudos to you for the writing contest. One of the coolest things about prescribing buprenorphine is seeing some people do very well in life-- working through the stresses that you mentioned, and then finding something where they really excel. Treating addiction with buprenorphine reminds me of doing labor epidurals---- they usually worked better than the patient expected, and patients were grateful for the help. There are not many areas in medicine where that is common.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
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