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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 4:14 am 
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Hey everybody, I'm Miranda, 22 years old from Australia.
I'd like to thank everyone involved in this forum, it's a great resource full of great people.
It is day 5 of my suboxone treatment and I'm doing good.
I transitioned from roughly 1000-1500mg of codeine a day to 16mg of film (started at 8, 12, to 14 over 3 days) once a day but I'm expecting that to rise, I see my doc again soon. Even though it's not holding me the whole 24 hours, I'm still feeling way better than I have in a long time. The withdrawal symptoms at the tail-end of the 24 hours are so much more bearable than what I'm used to.

It seems silly to admit that codeine has been my drug of choice in this last year, as I started out injecting oxycontin and morphine (given to me by my boyfriend) from age 17, which I kept doing for about 2 years, and after that, on and off. We also loved to shoot up ice, speed, mdma, anything that we could, we would, drawing the line at stuff like codeine and benzos. I am not with that guy any more.
Every time I quit morph I would do it by myself, cold turkey on as many sick days from work as I could get. Often I would go to work still sick. It's worth mentioning as well that I work a very physical heavy lifting job in a fridge/freezer environment- not pleasant, but between the drugs and the work I kept nice and slim.

I lived at home, worked full time throughout the whole period without my family or friends noticing I was using. My parents still don't know about my IV opiate use, but I plan to tell them when I am ready. One of my elder brothers knows everything, and has told me if I ever use a stick again he will 'tell mum', which has been a great deterrent. :p
I had a good upbringing and I have great parents but unfortunately bad mental health and addiction issues run in the family. My drug abuse is heavily intertwined with depression which I have been being treated for and taking medication since I was 15 (maybe 16).

While I have so far been able to put the needle behind me (as of October), I just couldn't let the opiate go and I suppose this is why I started taking codeine tablets orally- in ever increasing amounts, as I did not like the idea of injecting them and I figured I could just quit them 'easily' since they weren't a big deal.

It was a huge step for me to see a doctor and seek help in this last month. Not that I haven't tried before, but a bad experience with a patronizing and unhelpful doctor at age 19 totally turned me off the idea of professional help for my addiction problems. Now I have a great doctor and nearby drug health service, as well as friends who understand and are very supportive, but I still don't appreciate the condescending glare from some of the shopkeepers at the pharmacy I go to get my dose every day. I've also copped some horrid abuse from people who I thought were friends but are for whatever reason, heavily prejudiced against 'junkies'.

On a different note, I'm a pretty passionate animal person and eat vegetarian, mostly vegan. My doctor told me that healthy eating might well have saved me from serious liver damage from all the excess paracetamol (acetaminophen) I was taking in my addiction!

Anyway, if you read this, thanks for reading.
I look forward to getting to know some of you better- and to get better alongside you!


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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 7:07 am 
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Weclome to the forum,

There are many good people here to help. Thanks for tell n your story.
I think you ve made a good choice in sub therapy.

Those people who "look" at you funny at the pharmacy, ..dont letm bother you. You are doing a brave thing getting help .

I dont k ow anything about shooting, but congrats on given that up.

Hopefully sub treatment works well for you. It has for me. Changed my life. 3 yearscand counting..

More will come aloug soon to greet ya. We have a newcomer from your country who should chime in also..so, best of luck and keep posting..


razor55..


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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 11:26 am 
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Hi Mirand, thanks for sharing your story.

It sucks being judged the way you describe; give yourself credit for putting up with that sort of cr*p in order to stay clean from the codeine and other drugs. Getting free of addiction is a very courageous thing to do.

-- JI

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:31 pm 
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Hey Mirand! Welcome to the forum!

Good for you for being proactive and getting help with your addiction. It's amazing how much damage a bad doctor can do. But I'm glad you found a good one now!

It's incredibly lame that we addicts have to deal with such stigma and judgment for something that is very common and crosses all socio-economic lines. Anyone who deals with a life-long condition should receive support and well-wishes, not judgment.

Glad to have you here!

Amy

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Done is better than perfect!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 4:51 am 
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Thanks all for the greeting and kind words.

Up to 20mg/day now! Which is fine, but taking 4 films is gross. Only 2mg and 8 mg strips at my dispensary. Blarrgh. Going back to work tomorrow too, let's see hope I don't get too many questions about my sick leave.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 4:16 am 
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Hi hun,

I was addicted to codeine too (and I know people don't realise how bad they are and how addictive they are) - and im an ozzie too LOL! It's such a horrible drug really isn't it the way your stomach hurts because of the paracetamol after you have taken them for so long and so many of them - I was on about 800mgs a day for 3 years - then switched to oxy from a "friend" for another 6 months on top of the 3ish years. It all blurs into one. I've also been addicted to many other things during my life and have had very disappointing experiences with doctors (we are lucky that we can get bulk billed here, the guys in the US pay huge amounts of money for the doctors and their sub).

I'm on 10mgs of sub and feeling really well. HEAPS better than that horrid sick, empty, bubbly feeling in your stomach - and I feel much clearer too. I just started about a month ago I think.

If you have any questions about how your feeling this forum always seems to have the answers and if you cant find your answer you can post your question. This is the first time I have joined a forum - I'm 34 and not as technologically "able" as probably a 22 year old would be - you guys grew up with it! LOL!

Someone on here will always relate to your story.

Well done for making the decision to change your life positively and recover. I feel that for myself recovery will be an ongoing thing for the rest of my life because of the fact that addiction has been a part of me for most of the life I have known, but you never know.

Manda


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