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 Post subject: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 2:57 am 
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Well everyone I am writing this on my darkest day of detox so far. I think its been 9 days off with one tiny little sliver about 4 days ago. I had my dr appt. This morning and my blood test showed no sub or benzos (I stopped taking them at the reccommendation of these boards). I feel that I am doing everything right. I work out 3-4 times a day, sunbathe for an hour to warm the cold bones and im taking a protein/amino acid supplement 3-4 times a day. Shout out to tearjerker and his post about paws for that tip.

I want to write this because I am basically alone on an island right now. I have a great job that is giving me all the time I need and I have insurance to cover the clonodine. My dr. Told me "you are doing great- 9 days? Well looks like you are finished then." ummmmmm....no if anything I have learned from junig and this site it is that subs are a more mellow but drawn out detox. I just...the rls is super bad. I can deal with the rest but omg...

I have a three month follow up and I really want ti be done with this doc. I swear the info I recieve from Junig's vids and posts is infinitely more knowledgeable than my doc. Maybe I am just frustrated. I also want to thank l i v i n (i think it was you) who suggested giving my subs to my trusted family member because I might have slipped. Tomorrow i start Baclofen (I think that is spelling) to help with RLS. I am literally praying to god again that this can start getting better soon.

Prodigy day 9-10

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:21 am 
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Think about how quick time goes by when you aren't detoxing. Birthday's, Christmas's and just a normal work week. This is just a small portion of your life that is really a healing process. 2 months from now you'll look back and say wow that did fly by I'm so happy I stuck with this. I'm on day 39, and for me personally it began getting gradually better around day 11, then much better around day 18. The physical withdrawals hopefully won't be so horrific pretty soon. Just a small chunk of your life to heal your body, mind and soul. I had 3 months off of work, and got clean on the last month. Now I'm back to work, feeling more myself again and laughing all of the time. It get's better, not every story is a horror story. So good luck!!


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 8:33 am 
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Hi SP,

I understand how frustrated you are. It's hard when your doctor doesn't get how tough this process is, telling you "it looks like you're done then..." LOL. Right! I can hear the loneliness in your post, and I want you to know that there are many people here who know exactly what you are going through. Use this forum to help you, encourage you, and give you a sounding board for your thoughts. We get it.

If you really want to get off the subs it is entirely possible. Yes, it's hard, but anything worth having in life always is. You can do it!

Lulu is completely right, this will not last forever.

Keep us updated on your progress.

Q

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:01 am 
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Thanks to both of you for the replies. I guess I just hit a wall last night with the RLS. I ended up maybe getting 2 hours sleep altogether. I definitely am not going backwards and just need to push through the next couple to few days. On a side note does anyone know what belfecor is? I am now only taking clonodine and that at nighttime. Should I make a post in misc. Sub thread? Never heard of this stuff before.

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:14 pm 
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Just wanted to update my situation. Today has mostly been like the last 10, bursts of energy after my multiple workouts, constant gooseflesh and cold most of the day. Last night I was telling myself "this is like heroin detox, why did I ever do subs??!!" Of course that was rediculous, it was a moment of weakness, a test of my resolve. I made it through stronger and even more optomistic.

Seems like I keep hearing about this magical 2 week or so point where things start getting better. I am really looking forward to that point when it comes. Ive been building muscle and trying to build up energy as I can't wait to go out on the golf course again. I used to play 8 hours a day everyday, and woukd like nothing more than to just hit a bucket if not play nine holes. Thank you for all of the support everyone, I plan on checking in daily with updates.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:54 pm 
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Are you asking about belfecor or baclofen? I think baclofen is some type of muscle relaxer that is used for muscle spasms, but I've never heard of belfecor.

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 12:19 am 
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Sorry yes that is the one. I got it filled today but probably wont take it unless needed. Most people say that ot turns you "into spaghetti". Not really what im looking for at the moment. Unless someone on these trusty forums HAS had success with or more insight on it....

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:33 am 
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Number one, it's awesome you're work is giving you all the time you need, no need for anxiety there. I know how every single minute of every hour can feel like infinity and that you don't know if you'll ever stop feeling this way, but YOU WILL. Literally just went through it, so my memory isn't foggy there, it will progressively get a little better once you get past the rough patch. If you live somewhere where it's sunny go sit in the sun and listen to some music, that's what got me through my days. Do anything other than sit on the couch all day.

Just wanted to let you know I took the clonidine, it helped tremendously for the withdrawals, BUT around day 15 or 16 I was still so weak even though I was feeling much better otherwise. I couldn't go shopping or I would just pass out when I got home. Couldn't do much. I decided to stop taking the clonidine during the day, and the next day my energy was so much better.

Believe it or not I did take the baclofen. (However you spell it) My mom is prescribed that and when I ran out of my robaxin at night time and was too weak to drive to the store she gave me those on and off through detox for sleep at night. They did help tremendously with sleep. In no way did it get me high or anything like that, just helped with drifting off along with the clonidine.

Try taking liquid B12 for energy. You can buy it at CVS or walgreens and it goes under your tongue, that helped me. All the multi vitamins I'm sure you know about. Stay busy go for walks, take in each moment. You're whole body is reorganizing itself for the time being, it's not going to feel normal and just know that, accept it, get to the next day, and eventually you'll start feeling a little better. Stick with this!!! :)


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 3:23 am 
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To Lulu,

Thank you so much for your post as it was exactly what I needed to hear. I do happen to live in sunny CA and have been hangin out there warming my bones while listening to music. I am not however taking vits or b12. Basically in the day its just workouts, sun and hot showers. In the last ten days or so I tried running errands in town but just couldnt keep energy up. Leave the house feelin' great....then running on zero.

Honestly, things are going pretty well I just wish I had more energy in the daytime! I will check out the vits n b12 as I have to run to cvs anyway. Thank you again, really for the post. I am glad someone has had experience with belfecor. Tonight is my first night with it.

Lastly, I went to see my doc recently and weighed me in...I am 6'4" 25 y/o male. I weighed in at 133....oh god I let myself go. My bmi should be around 190 or so. Can I expect to gain weight again? I really dont have an appetite when normally I eat like crazy (pre subs). Dunno, maybe someone out there can relate. I am off to bed. Praying RLS is gone.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:12 pm 
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So this is either day 12 or 13.

Last night was horrible. The RLS kicked in the second I thought about sleep. This time was even in my arms. I am baffled as to why this is happening. Pretty much mild symptoms all day then at bedtime it hits like a train. My night time "oh god" cocktail consisted of:

50mg Belfecor
10mg Valium (havent taken in a week)
2mg Clonodine
24mg Melatonin

I feel like this is all in my head from the first night I had my little episode of RLS and hours of thrashing. At least that night I got SOME sleep. I am so exhausted right now and unable to sleep. Guess I will just start my day as usual. Chin up.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:20 pm 
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Sorry that last night was terrible. I just wanted to tell you that after the worst of the symptoms wear off, most people report that they are eating everything in sight! I hope it happens to you too!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:26 pm 
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Thank you amy for your reply and I hope you are right. I miss food oh so very much :)

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:17 pm 
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Hey SP, it's pretty normal for our symptoms to get worse at night. Our brains are less distracted then and have more time to focus on how we're feeling.

In my experience and from what I've seen on this forum, most RLS symptoms from Suboxone wd seem to dissipate around the 2 to 3 week mark.

The best thing I did to ease RLS was to run my ass off right before bed. Tiring my legs out helped enormously.

Hang tough, man!

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:31 pm 
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Hey Romeo, I find sound logic in that. It has to be mental because I literally felt perfect, and relaxed, then when I actually lay down to sleep all the thrashing begins. I have basically just given up on sleep. I find that the frustration leads to me getting angry, anxious and just in a piss poor mood. Last night I just hit the treadmill and read until morning. It is going on three days now with MAYBE 5 hours combined sleep. Just praying that one of these nights I will get some well earned rest. Today was a slightly better day. Tomorrow is day 14. Yay. Still working out and staying busy. \O/

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 2:51 am 
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Try taking St. John's Wort and 5HTP in the mornings. For an anxiety kind of a day take ashgawandha (my mom is a health nut and had many vitamins everywhere) Gabba chewable vitamins also for calming. I'm not sure what works and what doesn't but I never took a chance I always took 5HTP and St. John's Wort every morning with my clonidine.

Just so you know the appetite definitely comes back!! I started this journey weighing around 107 and was very frail in the beginning since I couldn't eat, and now I can't fit into any of my pants because I can't stop eating. Literally have a massive appetite now. I'm eating way more than when I was on suboxone it's even something I'm going to have to start watching, but being able to enjoy food again is AMAZING :)

Every night before bed I took clonidine around 9, then my robaxin or baclofen around 10 then ZZ Quil around 11. I don't know if that's the best combo or not but I eventually started sleeping a little, and even better when I went for a run with the dog earlier in the day. Spacing them out a bit, (if you can) and laying down for bed after the ZZ Quil, helped me at least sleep during the hours most people sleep at so I wasn't going crazy tossing and kicking all night. I know that nights are the worst. Lonely and desperate looking at the clock, skin crawling and restless legs, but that's just this medicine leaving your body it won't be like that forever.

I Live in California too and am 24 so I can relate to most of what you are going through! We are lucky to live somewhere so warm and go through this, always look on the bright side :) Hope today was better!!


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:36 am 
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Today is a beautiful day! 9 hours of uninterupted sleep!

Its a little funny that such a small victory could feel so good. Lulu the funny thing is last night I ended up taking my clonodine and belfecor around 8:30 as I was feeling *meh* next thing I know Its 6:00 am and my sheets are not twisted in a knot with pillows on the floor. I am going to make the most of this and jump up and start my day! Thanks for all the support through the turbulence, and I hope this is an upswing.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:01 am 
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Yo prodigy!

EVERY week will be better. You will have a bad night now and then-- that's what the sci-fi channel is for. It ALWAYS gets better eventually-- and by May (probably much sooner) you'll feel great. Exercise helps a lot-- so when you get a little energy, keep moving.

I can't find 'belfecor'-- is there another name for it?


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:17 am 
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Yo Dr.J!

An honor sir!
Baclofen lol, seems to be a lot of confusion on spelling. It has worked wonders. I had an amazing day today; full nights sleep, sun, multiple workouts, shampood carpets, ate 5 huge meals, went shopping, got coffee with friends, cleaned room and bathroom. I was a whirlwind today and it felt amazing. All the hard work is paying off, even if tomorrow I feel awful it was completely worth it! Heres to hoping my worst discomfort is my sunburn tomorrow. Thank you for your kind words Doc I am grateful for these boards and all the work you do for us addicts in recovery.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 3:59 am 
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Glad to hear you got a full nights sleep!! Going out in society and starting to have a somewhat normal day is such a good feeling. Hope every day you have gets better!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 4:08 pm 
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Hey everyone, day 15? Anyways, sleep was a little uncofortable at the start but I did manage to get 5 straight in the end. Today I feel great again. The usual ruitine; eat, workout,shower, sun. The difference being today I have started taking a multi vit and b12. Hope this keeps up I have plans to play 9 holes tomorrow with some friends. Hope everyone has an amazing day.

Prodigy

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