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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 4:26 pm 
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Nice update! Not bad for day 15.. and your routine looks absolutely perfect! I love that you include sun into your day. I firmly believe it is healing and incredibly useful during this process. I went to hawaii a couple months after detoxing and never felt as good as I did when I was in the sun and salt water. It was like I was a whole a new person! Keep up the good work!


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 4:33 pm 
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Thank you tinydancer for your reply. Deffinitely reccommend sun for anyone in detox. It stops the cold bones and gooseflesh and has been super important in my detox. Good to hear from you again td and thank you.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:59 pm 
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Hey Prodigy,

I am glad to hear you took my advice and gave your extra subs to someone you trust. There is no way I could have stuck it out if I had access to subs. I would have total motivation to push through withdrawals at one moment and in the next moment make excuses why taking a small sliver wouldn't hurt. I simply would have NEVER saw the withdrawal and PAWS through.

In terms of what you are experiencing, they are the same things I suffered through and nearly everyone I have read about in the three years I have been on this forum have suffered through. You simply have to KNOW it will eventually all go away. You will sleep normally again, those annoying chills and goosebumps will be gone, everything will be normal in time. Some things like sleep, lack of energy, and that subtle feeling of "rawness" in your bones may take a little longer to fade away completely, but stick it out because I promise you it will.

The good news is you are doing all the right things. Staying busy, exercising, listening to music, laying in the sun, are all going to help you get better faster. I am your age and did the same things you are doing now. It took me a few weeks to get past the more noticeable withdrawal and three months to be completely 100% normal in every area. Stick with it man!


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 2:43 am 
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Hey l i v i n and thanks for the reply!

Not having the subs around was crucial. Crucial. My addict brain wanted to withhold one, but immediately fought the urge. I keep hearing from people my age that have JUST gone through this and its these posts that give me that little boost to keep pushing through. I finally made myself after many lazy detoxes, laying around watching tv, flip the script and just do the opposite. You sort of need a sado-masochist attitude when it comes to detox IMO. At least thats what seems to be working for me! Run and workout the discomfort and it leaves. When it comes back rinse and repeat. I have followed some of your posts and they give me lots of hope man. Congrats on your recovery, you are an inspiration to those that doubt if the pain will end. Next step is whether or not I do Naltraxone. For now I focus on getting healthier each day, but that will be next topic for discussion.

Another great day,

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 1:41 pm 
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Day 16.

There is a subtle sense of WD that I feel now and again in the daytime. Its no big deal, but its there. Energy levels are through the roof, and I am eating insane amounts of food. Emotional and laughing at everything, just enjoying life again. Nightimes are still rough but I have found a way to deal. If anyone else is having trouble at night, try not to force sleep, accept the insomnia and just do stuff instead. I am basically only having trouble at night. Two days no sleep, third day great sleep. Work called, and restaurant is getting busy again and they need me back...

I think I am ready. Last two days I have been at the driving range (still got my swing after 3 yearss dormant!), and my energy hasnt dropped, even went and ran errands and workedout when I got home. I told work I will go back on friday. Nervous. Excited. It does get better, as everyone assured me it would. Hoping for the rain to let up, but spirits are high.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 11:48 pm 
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Told you that appetite would come back with a vengeance lol. That's great that you're eating again though. Don't be nervous for work. I work in a very fast pace environment where multitasking and memory are key and I was just about dying. I really didn't think I could swing it, but what choice did I have? So I showed up on day 30 and I loved it. I loved feeling NORMAL again, but even better than normal. I could do it sober. My personality was there, I'm not as fast as I used to be but that's fine. I'm completely capable of working and I'm sure you'll be too. Think of it as another goal to tackle, you'll be fine. Keep golfing and going out to get ready for work. Congrats on starting to feel better :)


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 12:01 am 
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Thank you again lulu for the kind words. You have beenn SOOO helpful w all the advice. I have a personal vitamin isle on my nightstand now. It has been raining last two days here and its been throwing off my routine, no sun :(. Days are great still for the most part, doing ljttle projects exercising and grocery shopping because I am eating everything in sight. Time to time i get stircrazy and a little anxious but jumping into a workout ends it immediately. This at home detox is coming to an end however. I would have no qualms about returning to work except for my nights. Baclofen is amazing, although my dr prescribed enough to help a lab rat. Clonodine is a godsend, and I now have a Mag/Cal/Zinc I take to try and ease the rls. Even with access to all these aids, I have fallen into a pattern. Two nights 0 slee, third 5-9 hours straight. Writing this post right now Is the day 3 having not had sleep. I hope and pray it comes tonight.

Day 16 was a more difiicult day but not too rough, pray for a better day tomorrow!

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:46 pm 
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Today is day 18 off subs. I no longer have sleep troubles, chills are almost nonexistent, and overall no complaints. I feel the need to share my experience as so many others had before me. The collective experiences I read over the last 3 weeks have helped me immensly! Hindsight is 20/20,had I been a little more prepared for this detox, it might have gone even smoother than it did. I told myself I would do things differently this time. I bought protein/amino powder and dusted off the treadmill and weights. Beiglng lazy while going through DT's was not successful for me in the past, so this time I would do the opposite.

Day 1-3 werent too bad, subs still around gave me the energy to start my "new" routine. Wake early, workout, try and eat.Around day 7-9 I hit my wall. The subs were now long gone, and I struggled to maintain positive, workouts became less intense and energy hit a low. Still, I kept working out and reading outside, it really helped keep my mind distracted and tired me out for hopes of a good nights sleep. Sleep did not come. Which leaves me to my next point...

Days 9-15 Most symptoms were gone for me by this point. Occasional chills, minor energy drops, but daytimes were becoming...fun. Getting out of the house, hanging with friends, golf, became common and didnt leave me feeling  anything but accomplished at the end of the day. Then it was nighttime. RLS was my nemesis. The moment I would try to force sleep, it happened. Horrible thrashing, anxiety, and anger would kick in. I tried everything to stop this and was desperate after three days of no sleep. Eventually a poster mentioned taking their meds (clonodine and baclofen) a few hours before actual sleep. This seemed to do the trick for me. Sleep came naturally, eventually i would nod off and wake up with the lights still on and full of energy.

Days 15-18 This is my current state of affairs. Days are still great, I am FINALLY gaining weight, much faster than expected. Appetite, energy, emotions are all running high. Most importantly, for me at least, sleep has returned. Getting a full nights sleep multiple days in a row has been the biggest boost for me personally. Truly, for those suffering from RLS/insomnia, dont fight it, just accept you wont be sleeping well THIS night and get up, tire out those legs, read, tv, whatever. It was the best thing I ever did. Work called and I am returning on monday. Exactly 3 weeks from the start of my detox. I feel optimistic to get back out in the real world and begin making $$ again! This post is mainly a tangible reminder for me, for what I went through. I can come back to this in a month, a year, and just reflect. I really want to thank all the posters that helped me in my time of need, and hope that anyone that reads this, know it does get better, it does require hard work but the payoff is sooo worth it. Bupe in the rearview.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 1:09 am 
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So good to hear you got some sleep! The worst day I had during detox was the day that I got about 30 minutes of sleep prior that night. It honestly affects your whole day and makes life rough. Once you cycle your body back into those sleeping patterns everything starts turning around! Work on Monday!!!? Good luck! Eat up and get some rest. Physically, it's only uphill from here! By the way are you still taking clonidine during the day? I'm just curious because I know that affected my energy so much, until I started taking it only in the evening.


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 1:30 am 
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Yes work on monday! I'm ready to go back, too much pent up energy! As for the clonodine, no I stopped taking it in the daytime about a week or so ago. As for eating, not a problem I cant keep food in the house. Time for a costco run nomnomnom.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 12:46 pm 
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Hey SP, doing good! Every day will get a little better. You will hit plateaus but they will pass. Today is day 45 for me and I still have issues. I wake up every morning around 4AM and I'm sick to my stomach. So I just started going to bed earlier. My energy has been way down but the sun refuses to shine around here. I have had very few days of good weather during my detox. it's taken it's toll on me but I'm hanging in there. It's supposed to be nice next week and I start a new job. So things are looking good.

It's nice to see another success story.


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 3:13 pm 
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Hey rizob! I actually was following your thread right before I commited to my detox. Im sorry to hear you are having trouble sleeping, Lord knows I fought that for a long while. I found magnesium/zinc/calcium supplement didnthe trick for me, maybe give that a try? I know full well that this "pink cloud" will wear off eventually, only this time I am ready for it! A cocky addict in recovery usualky ends in a relapse. I hope you get some sun in your part of the world, I have learned to love it again (rainy for last 4 days here). Keep fighting man, Ill keep you in my prayers!

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 2:24 pm 
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Hey SP! I just wanted to say your doing such a great job!!! How awesome!!! I just started my new taper today, well I just dropped today from 2 mgs to 1.50 mgs. I am trying to decide what a good jumping point would be... I'm thinking .25 mgs.. I do split my doses so I think when I get down to .75 that will change. I look forward to being where you are today! I love the emotion I read through your posts and I just want to wish you the very best of luck through out your journey!!! Keep on keeping on!



"At first they will ask you why your doing it? Then they'll ask you how you did it" :D


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 8:21 pm 
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Hey beauty and thank you for your kind words! I remember before I started my taper I scoured these forums for stories about the detox itself. Eventually I found that reading success stories was the biggest help for me. It sounds like you have a solid plan and great attitude, that will take you far. As for me its been exactly 4 weeks and I can honestly say I have never felt better. Its funny when the people around you comment that you "seem different". I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Keep us posted!

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:46 pm 
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Hey Prodigy just curious how work went and how much better you're feeling these days??


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 8:24 am 
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Thanks SP! I have been reading the success stories and honestly when I read your first post on your ninth day I could just feel that emotion.. I don't feel crap anymore and I hate it! I mean I will have days I feel but it's not like it should be.. I'm not totally numb to the world but I notice I fake alot of emotions I should be having. Does that make sense? I noticed lately that I have been very angry, This is not through W/D either because I have been steady but I just haven't been me in some time. I'm thankful for subs because it is a great tool, I am just irratated that I did have a dr. who said "You will just stop and have no w/d symptoms at all, it's NON addictive" I wanted out so bad that I would of believed anything... I feel like I've developed terrible anixiety, I suffered from depression to begin with but everytime I would try to take an antidepressant it would not mix well with the sub. What is crazy is that people would get on me and say I was crazy, that sub and an antideprssant work well together. For me though, that was not the case. I tried six different types.. So I had to ask myself, why do I still want to take the suboxone ? It seems to have run it's course with me... I feel like crap most days on it, I figure well why take it? Then there will be those four out of thirty days I feel great and then I continue on.. The mind of an addict is so tricky.. I hate that bitch! lol! Sorry for the rambling, I really think your awesome!! What mg did you jump from?


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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:12 pm 
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@Lulu

Work has been going great! I ended up working 7 days straight simply because it felt good to get back out there making money! After day 1 I had no energy issues, still eating 3 dinners each night, the chef is taking it as a challenge to fatten my ass back up lol. Overall there is really no complaints yet. Still working out, still eating tons, playing golf, etc. Thanks for checking on me, I hope all is well with you too!

@Beauty

In answer to your question I jumped from dosing 4mg a day-2mg for 2 days- 1mg for 2 days- .5mg for 1 day. Then I jumped. Definitlely not a perfect taper but it wasnt too bad, nothing like a full agonist WD. As far as the depression and lack of emotion, I can definitely relate. I was on subs for 3+ years and have no regrets. Subs gave me time from active addiction. I can honestly say that I have had two years without a craving. I thought being off subs they might return, but truly the thought of my DOC repulses me. Whike subs gave me this, now that I am no longer on them, I see the side effects. I became a recluse, working and going home, hardly doing the things I used to and social life slipped. I never had energy, usually only after dosing would I have the drive to get things done. Emotionally, I feel 100x better. I laugh more, enjoy music again, constantly in motion, sex drive, etc. Kepp in mind this is just comijg from a guy 30 days clean, but theree was a light at the end of the tunnel and it was well worth the ride.

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:42 pm 
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StillProdigy wrote:
@Lulu

Work has been going great! I ended up working 7 days straight simply because it felt good to get back out there making money! After day 1 I had no energy issues, still eating 3 dinners each night, the chef is taking it as a challenge to fatten my ass back up lol. Overall there is really no complaints yet. Still working out, still eating tons, playing golf, etc. Thanks for checking on me, I hope all is well with you too!

@Beauty

In answer to your question I jumped from dosing 4mg a day-2mg for 2 days- 1mg for 2 days- .5mg for 1 day. Then I jumped. Definitlely not a perfect taper but it wasnt too bad, nothing like a full agonist WD. As far as the depression and lack of emotion, I can definitely relate. I was on subs for 3+ years and have no regrets. Subs gave me time from active addiction. I can honestly say that I have had two years without a craving. I thought being off subs they might return, but truly the thought of my DOC repulses me. Whike subs gave me this, now that I am no longer on them, I see the side effects. I became a recluse, working and going home, hardly doing the things I used to and social life slipped. I never had energy, usually only after dosing would I have the drive to get things done. Emotionally, I feel 100x better. I laugh more, enjoy music again, constantly in motion, sex drive, etc. Kepp in mind this is just comijg from a guy 30 days clean, but theree was a light at the end of the tunnel and it was well worth the ride.

Prodigy


Memorizing this whole post for the coming days. Thank you!

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:20 pm 
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Week 6 update:

It will have been six weeks on Monday since I stopped suboxone. I wanted to write today...where things stand at this milestone. I haven't had 6 weeks clean since...middle school? Life is good. My brain fog is lifting and I am starting to adjust to "life on life's terms". Major changes have been: much better sleep, my diet has changed completely, My body is coming back, (I have gained almost 30 pounds!), social life is back, enjoying my job again, energy through the roof.

I never could have imagined that sobriety was actually...fun. As far as symptoms go, I occasionally sneeze, and get minor chills, but these have been less frequent and honestly, if that's the worst then I count myself blessed. I am going on a trip to LA this summer, and I laughed when I remember the times when I couldn't do trips because I was leashed to Methadone clinics, or had to worry about how many subs I had left...It's these new memories that I want to hold on to, not the past. One more time, I want to thank everyone that helped me through the rough patch, without the support, I don't know if I would have made it!

Prodigy

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 Post subject: Re: Encouragement Needed
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:38 pm 
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Congrats on sticking with it! Glad to see you're feeling better. Sleep has been the last thing for me to come back. Only at 10 days now but I already feel much better. Head is clearing up. Sub is a great tool but
I'm so glad to be off all
Dependencies. Woohoo


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