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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 12:10 pm 
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Thanks Steve, I do feel like there will be a light at the end of this, it's just going to take time to catch every thing up! Thanks.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 12:34 pm 
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He s right Emmy. We ALL have this kinda of thing going on in one way or an other.

I STILL do.
My past is still in my present today but as Wonder said keep going forward. Little steps. One thing at a time, one day at a time.

When I first started sub recovery, the phone the water all my bills everything, were either shut off or unpayed.
You are not stupid Emmy, yourvand opiate addict. This is what we do an did. We had to have drugs at all cost. So now we do our best ..it ll be ok..raz...


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 1:43 pm 
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Well I've decided to act a little, just a little nuts! I got the lid off the top of the valve where they turn off the water, and tried to use a yard stick to get to the valve hahaha we actually got the money, called and payed everything and the MFers said we had to wait until at least tomorrow till they'd send someone to turn it on! So I fought with those idiots for awhile till she finally hung up on me. So anyway, hence the reason I tried turning it back on myself!! Ha hubby keeps saying I'm nuts but whatever I'm still trying!! Crazy or no??

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:24 am 
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Ya....crazy...I vote nutz...lolololo..guess the forums bn down till now. I gota know: did you get it turned on. ????
If not, they will get to it...oh us addicts, we want what we want, and we want it NOW!!!! How are you feeling Em???


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:17 am 
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Omg I was in such a panic with the forum being down!!! I kept thinking maybe I said something stupid and they blocked me or something!!! Haha!!! So no I couldn't even really see the valve it was so far down, and hubby said to stop I looked like a crazy person!! Haha!! So I left it, cooled down, realized I took my anger at myself for letting this happen, out on the poor customer service ladies at the water company. So I called and apologized! The lady was so shocked that I called just for that, but I said I'm sure since you are in the collections dept that you get so many angry people, and you're just doing your job so I'm so sorry I acted like a nut!! That's not really me! So anyway, hopefully it gets turned back on soon!! I've been watching out front really closely!! They said anytime between 8 and 5 hahaha so I guess I'll be here waiting!! ;) I ended up breaking down and telling my mom how bad my addiction had gotten though, since we needed money for this. So that was good to get some stuff out there that I'd been keeping secret for so long!! I still have family, like my dad to tell, so I'm working on it. My sister, who is a nurse, and lives in Hawaii, said she knew for a long time I had a problem! I thought I did a good job hiding it, I guess not! Well anyway sorry for rambling on!! I'm feeling good today! 8mg seems to be doing good, then next week I'll think about a reduction maybe. Thanks razor!!!! Hope you are doing good today! :)

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:02 am 
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hahaha, you are right Raz! we want it RIGHT NOW! lol. I love that I don't have that feeling anymore. I did however have a little weak point last night and took 4 mgs more....it was actually a 1/4 more than I am prescribed cause I'm suppose to be on 10mgs a day and I only do 8, but I had a moment of weakness where the addict inside of me said a little more won't hurt....Kind of disappointed in myself but I guess that will happen from time to time....I counted my meds this morning after getting 10 more and I'm right on track with my meds though, to the day! This will be the first time in YEARS that I'm doing the right dose or actually a little less than prescribed, I am so proud of myself. Not bragging but just sharing this info! I told the pharmacist that and he was pretty cool, said to keep up the good work!

Raz, I took 8mgs today and kind of feel a "buzz". I have been keeping the subs in my mouth for 20 mins now, just started doing that this week, finally getting used to the taste and saliva in my mouth for that long. Do you think it's because I wasn't getting all of the meds in my system because of only doing it for 3-5 mins?? Not sure why I feel it so much today.....

Emmy, Glad you spoke your mind to the water people lol. but then apologized for it, that was good! haha. Be careful of messing with their equipment, they will ding you! haha. Have a great day girl!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 2:47 pm 
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Thanks!! I just got a call that the tech is on his way!!! Woohoo!!!! Hopefully it doesn't look tampered with hahaha I was thinking if he asks about it, I'll just say oh yea I was just curious how it worked so I was looking and dropped my flashlight down the hole so I just had to fish it out! Bahahaha I'll see if he believes that!! lol

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 3:12 pm 
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haha, I'm sure he will believe you ^^ lol. jk. just tell him to shut up and fix it lol. you are the paying customer, not him lol. Glad help is on the way. How are you feeling today?


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 4:41 pm 
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Feeling really good except a head cold allergy type thing! Pollen levels are super high right now so that's probably why, but everything else super good!!! How about you?? Oh and the tech never even said anything about any tampering!!!! Haha!!! So glad to have water again! lol

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 7:14 am 
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Glad to hear you are feeling good other than allergies. I suffer from them too. all my life, well ever since I could remember anyways....I heard this year is suppose to be the worst in a long time, so I'm taking a claritan every day, seems to be working great! They are really expensive though...but I guess worth it.

Haha, glad you didn't get in trouble with the water department, sometimes they can be pretty mean. Knock on wood, I haven't been without water YET but I have been out of electricity for nearly 2 months....that SUCKED! Luckily my father in law lives next door to us so we were able to run extension cords to the fridge, some lights the TV and the air conditioning....It's ok to talk about it now since it's in the past but man that was hard lol.

Hope this message finds you doing well, talk to ya later.

Steve


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 9:33 am 
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Omg two months no electric??? Wow I went 3 hours one time hahaha till family would pitch in to pay it. And that one went right back on when it was paid! I couldn't imagine 2 months though, nice you had a few things working though. I really broke down everything, like everything to my mom Wednesday so I think we'll have a lot of help now from them as long as I stay clean. She had no idea how things really were. I think my saving grace was that her fav guy "rush Limbaugh"? I think that's his name? Went through a pill addiction, so she believes its possible because he did it!!! Haha I don't know anything about him or his situation, I've heard of him but that's it. He does a radio show maybe? I don't know. So anyway, last night my mom just gave us a check for $500 to "help", we didn't ask for it. So I set up two of my debts to start making payments on, which is exciting! The calls were non stop from all the places we owe money! So the head cold is actually a full cold type thing now, I have barely any voice! Plus my daughters softball game was last night so I did a lot of screaming haha, I get way to in to it! lol the one play, my daughter was on shortstop and there was a runner on 2nd but no one on first. So I was telling her and the third base girl, if the runner on 2nd goes YOU MUST tag her, it's not a forced play!!! Sure enough the ball was hit and the girl ran, so my daughter threw the ball to the third base girl and she whipped around and tagged the runner (more like a body slam) hahaha! Anyway I was like see!!!! I told you she'd run! Like I said I get way too into it!! lol so yea I hope you're feeling good today? I can't remember where you are with tapering down, or are you staying at 12 I think you said right now? Starting Monday I'm going to try 6mg a day, everyone around me says I seem out of it and sluggish, so we'll see if that helps. Hope you're feeling good today!!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:33 am 
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yeah it sucked lol. that's awesome you get into it, our son had practice last night and I was yelling at him to take off from 2nd when they played a little scrimmage lol. my wife gets a little embarrassed of me at the games, I get into it too lol. It was his first practice with his new team and he did great, he moved up a level and we were both kind of worried he would be less talented than the other kids but he did dam good....he is definitely one of the better players and I'm not just saying that cause I'm biased but he is just really good....I'm so proud of him and his talent. not tapering down yet, only been 30 days today on it so it will be a while, I just am only taking 8mgs a day but prescribed 10. so I think I'm doing pretty good. I'm having a pretty good day! kind of hyped today, not sure why. lol. well I hope your cold gets better and you get to the right dose soon. Have a good day.

Steve.

That's really cool about your mom helping you out like that. with no interest lol.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:59 am 
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Hahaha to the interest! The check didn't say loan on it sooo.... I have to assume it was a gift! Although she did say she needed help with some cleaning next month, so I might be working for it! lol!! That's awesome your son is doing so well in baseball!!! Eh my daughter needs more practice, that's the nicest way to say it lol she can hit really good, but she's gotta be in the right mind set. And she pitches, which she did pretty well last year, but this year decided not to pitch, she moved up in age group so it's 40 ft now from the mound I think? So I think she's just scared. Last night was the first season game so a ton of the pitches from both sides were falling short, so it's new to everyone ya know? My hubby is the assistant coach but somehow stays calm, I'm the crazy one yelling stuff and challenging the umps calls!! Haha I'm the score keeper for the team so that keeps me pretty busy, but I still manage to yell sometimes!! Ha especially if the ump makes a mistake, everyone else tend to just let it go. So I try, but if its big I have to say something! The ump last night actually mis counted the"balls" when my daughter was up to bat so I was trying to signal my hubby from across the field!! Hahaha she ended up being walked anyway so it didn't matter then. I've even got my mom really into it, it's pretty funny! We definetly have the most team spirit lol ohhh that's right I do remember you saying about taking 8 but prescribed 10. That's been working well? Do you feel somewhat normal on the 8? Tomorrow our town square is having a doggie Easter egg hunt!!! lol we are definetly going! It sounded silly last year but the prizes were really good! They would have a paper inside saying what you won and to come claim it. I think last year we got a dog shirt, two nice dog bowls, a gift card to an ice cream place, a few dog toys, and something for my human child haha can't remember what though lol good prizes though!!! I hope it's like that this year!!! Anyway, enjoy feeling a little hyped today, you could get stuff done!!! I'm trying to get moving, nothing yet lol probably can't go anywhere with this cold, I might scare people with the barely there, crackly voice!! Have a great day!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 10:23 pm 
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Just out of curiosity, is it possible to get off the subs relatively quickly? Is it easier to taper and jump if you don't take them for too long? I'm starting to taper down tomorrow and just wondering if it will be easier if I do it quickly? I haven't seen any stories of really short term sub use. Thanks!

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:12 pm 
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Well, looks like I'm talking to myself now ;) hahaha I tapered to 6mg today. So far so good, obviously too soon to tell for sure though. I still have the sinus/cold thing so that's annoying. My mom says I seem 100 times better then I did on the first week or so on the subs! She said I seemed drunk like and out of it, but much better now! I feel better too, less confusion or spaciness! Thanks guys for the support!!

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:11 pm 
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Hey Emmy, sorry it's been a busy day here at the office....I'd think it's too early to taper. Aren't you suppose to taper when you are good enough to control your addiction? I view it as the medicine helps you get rid of your obsession to take opiates and get the counseling you need to get the right mind set? I think if you stop without seeking counsel you'd go back to struggling addiction? Please someone correct me if I'm wrong...I'm on a 6 mos program right now. I'd hate to see you get off of this medicine and go back to what we are fighting against...

Steve


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:38 pm 
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I've been going back and forth in my mind about how quick to taper. My doc isn't too much help, he seems to think it will be a quick process, so yea I don't know. I figured I'd try it and see how it goes maybe

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:39 pm 
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well keep me updated :). I'd like to see how it goes and then maybe I will ;)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:45 pm 
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I was just sorta thinking if I prolong it longer then I need to then maybe it would be harder to get off them eventually. I don't "plan" to be on them for too long if that's possible, I would like to have another child eventually and wouldn't want to be on subs for that. Maybe it's just that I'm feeling fine on the subs that I feel I'd be fine as well without them?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:19 pm 
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Ok im going to say this One more time!

Opiate addiction is a chronic, deadly, RELAPSING disease! You will not have success taking suboxone for less than a year. !! There is a 95% relapse rate. I didnt just make up a number here. Dr J ..Dr J. If you have no confidence in your own dr , get reading dr J's guides an books....!!!

He is what he has said: 12 step work and all it intails,suboxone treatment, or use a durg of your choise..there isnt a forth choise, and this is in early recovery. Meaning years of recoverynot months!!!!

Im speaking to any newcomer out there oday, there seems to be several.
Emmy, there is nothing wroug with the lowest dose you can find. That is great. 6 is good, 4 would be too.
But as you szid, the reason ya think you could go off of this now IS becuz you ARE on suboxone NOW.

Ive seen this time an time again here in my town. Its entirety up to you , ut any program or dr having a time limit on an addict on sub, is substandard to me.

As anyone who knows me here, I a prosub guy. I believe if works and im not ready, even after allll the meetings an talkin to a drug counselor, puting useing friends behind me, after 3 1/2 years of a these changes, I feel safer today on my 4 mgs...maybe some day...

Maybe im wroug, I dont think so. I see people struggle on the rooms of na, I read here how people are so concerned about "trading one for the other", well , WHAT ARE THE OTHER CHOISES.........

Anyone can tapper off subs, easy if on them less than a month or so. Yes its easier an should be shorter .


But then ...what?....hope this helps, someone...


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