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 Post subject: Educating spouses
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:25 pm 
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Okay ya'll. I am reaching out for a little bit of advice from you internet savvy individuals.

I am having a hard time making my husband understand the reason I am having such a hard time kicking this addiction. He is a great guy...but maybe not the most open minded person in the world. We have been married 15 years, have 3 kids and an otherwise pretty great marriage. But this whole thing has been very hard for him to accept and he just doesn't see why I can't just get over it. I am going to see a clinical psychologist on Friday and I am hoping this guy will be able to help but I just don't know yet what his views are on addiction treatment.

So I just wondered if anyone else knew of a good online article or a web-site that would help him understand a little bit better that what I am going through is not about him. I want him to understand that when I slip up (meaning take extra sub, not full relapse) it is not a personal attack on him. Please understand. I am not trying to excuse my actions. But I am having a wicked hard time with this taper. And the more pressure I get from him it seems like the more I want to use. None of it makes sense...but thats how I feel.

Any suggestions?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:40 pm 
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Doers your husband know that Suboxone is a medication for addiction. and ...if you are an addict like me, that you need to treat the disease (or problem) with medication. Suboxone is that treatment. i will look for some articles, but let your spouse know that this medicine is a preventative medication that deters cravings and treats the disease of addiction.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:45 pm 
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This is from Psych Central:

"Most people cannot just walk away from opioid addiction. They need help to change their thinking, behavior, and environment. Unfortunately, “quitting cold turkey” has a poor success rate – fewer than 25 percent of patients are able to remain abstinent for a full year. This is where medication-assisted treatment options like methadone, naltrexone, and Suboxone benefit patients in staying sober while reducing the side effects of withdrawal and curbing cravings which can lead to relapse. "


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:39 pm 
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He knows, the problem is the doctor I wound up with has brainwashed him into believing that after being treated for 1 year I should have no problems tapering off and staying clean. He literally told him there will be a "little discomfort" when tapering and then she will be fine. Basically feeding his idea that if I don't succeed it's because I didn't try hard enough or want it bad enough. No big deal...just quit.

Thanks for that article. Any others would be appreciated!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:02 am 
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Hi horsegal!

Listen, unless you've been through it, nobody understands to extent to any of this process. Whether it be addiction, or withdrawing. The only thing you can do is try to explain and walk your way through it with your emotions and feelings about it.

My old man has zero, zilch experience with any of this. I started him off with analogies about how I was feeling. This way he could relate on a more personal note. At one time I remember saying to him (and this will most certainly not be he first time I say it) that its like two old friends sit down and have a cup of tea together that haven't seen each other in years. There is ALOT of catching up to do. That is your brain and their receptors. Take it slow. Don't worry yourself for that "day" after tapering yourself. This is a daily battle. One at a time. It's ok!

Have faith and we will be here for you. :D you can do it!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:29 am 
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Sigh.. I wish I could help.. but I did the only sensible thing I could think of and just married an addict. :lol:

You've received some good advice so far. It is really hard to make anyone understand what this is like. Even my husband, who tapered much lower and had an easier time getting off sub, didn't always understand or comprehend how sub detox was affecting me. I know deep down he got it, because he's been there before, but sometimes he just assumed that I should have been feeling similar to how he was feeling. Anyway, that's a whole different thing and not really relevant here. Sorry.

Hey, you could just let him spend a day reading the stopping sub or bupe in the review mirror forums.. I'd bet he start to see a trend..? lol

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 2:19 pm 
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tinydancer wrote:
Sigh.. I wish I could help.. but I did the only sensible thing I could think of and just married an addict. :lol:


Tiny, I am noticing a trend of laughter after reading your posts....is this a side effect?

Thank you all for the responses!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 2:56 pm 
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Hey Q,

Check out this link, it's to a thread on this forum. We started this thread a while back, it's called What Is Addiction, it may help you.

http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=3087

Also, check out this link, it's a Wiki on Dr. Nora Volkow, she's about the smartest person I know when it comes to addiction research. If you google search her, you should also get some good hits about addiction.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nora_Volkow

Here's a quick blurb from the wiki article: Volkow has shown that abnormalities in the prefrontal cortex of addicts create a feeling of need or craving that addicts know is irrational but cannot prevent. Prefrontal abnormalities also make it difficult to override compulsions to take drugs by exercising cognitive control.

Good Luck!!

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:34 pm 
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qhorsegal2 wrote:
tinydancer wrote:
Sigh.. I wish I could help.. but I did the only sensible thing I could think of and just married an addict. :lol:


Tiny, I am noticing a trend of laughter after reading your posts....is this a side effect?

Thank you all for the responses!


I'm sorry. It is most definitely a side effect of being sober, at least for me... I will tone it down.



Romeo posted some good links..


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:33 pm 
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tinydancer said, "I'm sorry. It is most definitely a side effect of being sober, at least for me... I will tone it down."

Don't tone it down!!! I live for the laughs I get from people like you and others on this board!! If we addicts don't learn to laugh, we'll all go fucking crazy!!! :wink:

BTW, the links I posted were superb, not just good....try to get that right next time, OK?

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:06 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
BTW, the links I posted were superb, not just good....try to get that right next time, OK?


omg... NO.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:33 pm 
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Tiny...I think you took my last post wrong. My attempt at humor must not be as successful as yours. :oops:

I love the laughs! Please keep them coming!!!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:23 pm 
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^ Like I replied to you in PM.. I will not tone it down, I repeat, I will not tone it down. Have no fear..

Image


Ok.. I derailed the thread. Sorry.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:51 pm 
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Poor wittle puppy!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:50 pm 
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BAH!! HAHA!! Fear, dun dun dunnn.... Poor little puppy is an understatement! More like dead little puppy.. LOL

How's it going today horsegal? :)


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:38 am 
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Well, all in all pretty good Jen!

I am finding ways to handle the cravings that are creeping back in on my new much lower dose. I have been down to 1.5mg for 5 days now. Honestly, the main issue is I am feeling the old aches and pains almost all day long. My main issue is muscle and joint aches in my legs and lower back. I don't know if this is mild withdrawal or just my original pain issues that have been hidden for so long under a blanket of opiates. Hmmmm...that's kind of like what came first, the chicken or the egg?

I am thinking about asking my doctor to change me over to cymbalta from my current SSRI which is not working well for me. I have heard this med is good for people with fibromyalgia pain. I don't know if that is what I have but I figure it's woth a shot anyway huh? I am also going to check into an acupuncture doctor locally who has had success with treating addiction and pain in other patients.

Thanks for asking!

By the way...I don't think I mentioned before my name is Jen too. :D :D


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 6:15 pm 
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Jen!- Glad to hear!

Yeah, IMO also, those lower doses are tough... I never got cravings, but I'd always run out early because by nighttime I'd start feeling really crappy from my last does in the a.m. And reach over to take more. As far as the aches and pains- it's hard to tell if its some mild w/d, or a combination of the two. I suppose only over time will tell.


I too have fibromyalgia. Yes cymbalta is one of the meds that they use for fibromyalgia. Also lyrica is another but have heard there is a problem of becoming addicted and has unpleasant w/d. They will be able to find out if you do have fibromyalgia for sure. They will check certain points on your body and apply pressure, and it will make you jump in the air and curse in pain if you have it when they do it. I remember saying "holy shit OUCH! please STOP!" and the doctor said "yup, that was exactly the reaction I was looking for!!." Let me know how the acupuncture goes!

Hang in there girl!!

*hugs*
-Jennifer


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