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 Post subject: Dosing times/daily habit
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:06 am 
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I'm on day 4 of suboxone after 5 years of oxycodone use. Someone had mentioned to me in another post about trying to dose the suboxone once a day to get out of the multiple dosing per day habit. Well it's been working great, actually really great. For the 5+ years I was using oxys I would take them at the exact same times every day, even though I was taking double what I was prescribed, I was a slave to the clock! I think this was also how I justified for so long that I wasn't abbusing oxys. I thought look I'm not taking fist fulls to get loaded, I'm just taking them in equal amounts, at the same time every day for pain. Anyway, now that I've started suboxone and only take it once in the morning, I noticed yesterday I have absolutely no concept of time! Really weird, everything I did in the past revolved around the time I took my oxys, even when I ate because I wanted to get the best effect by taking them on an empty stomach. So anyway, I am still supposed to take gabapentin (not a narcotic and not a pain med) three times a day. Well I've been totally screwing it up the past few days because I'm not a slave to the clock anymore. This is a good thing though right? Should I just adjust and only take the gabapentin once a day so I'm totally not in that need to dose habit anymore? Like isn't that part way more important then the help I could get from three gabapentins a day?
Also on a different topic, how do you deal with people being soooo congratulatory about being off the oxys for a few days? I feel like an idiot when they are saying such nice things when honestly it's the suboxone that deserves the credit, not me, ya know? Plus it's only been four days, it's not like I'm clean a year or anything, ya know? It's family and friends that knew this was a long time coming, but don't understand that the suboxone is doing most of the work. Just kinda curious how other members handle that?
Thanks!!

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 11:42 am 
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Emmy....believe it that YOU are the one doing this!!

And yes they should be proud of you. These first steps of being clean are wo derful arent tney? You made the choise to do somethig about your addiction. You get the credit as you should. Im very happy for you. 4 days ?!!!! Hell Ya 4 days. Thats four days you weren't high. 4 days and counting. So...take those pats on the back Emmy. They beloug to you. Recovery on sub is recovery in my book. Congrats.

Once a day dosing is great too. Good for you. Sounds to me like your on your way with a good start that your having. Walk tall..you are doing it, yes, with sub helping. ?........razor...


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 12:03 pm 
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Thank you razor!!! I'm so very greatful for this group's support! I guess I just feel guilty that I didn't get off the oxys without needing suboxone to do it. Especially since my mom and my hubby keep saying how amazing it is that I've "stayed the course" and not used, ya know? I have a lot to be guilty about though so maybe I find a way to let this one go. I found a meeting to go to tonight so hopefully I'll get a little better perspective there. Thanks again!! You are very kind! :)

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:00 pm 
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Good job Emmy! Razor nice support too man! I've been off Opiates and on Suboxone for 23 days now and I'm absolutely loving it. I've been going to group counseling for 3 weeks now and I haven't really seen how this helps but it must be doing something for me. Razor I'm happy to see you post that even though on suboxone it's still recovery, I've felt like I'm substituting or cheating my way off of addiction. Keep up the good work Emmy, my wife and kids love the "new" me, the person I was when my wife first met me. Razor, how long have you been on Subs?


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:23 pm 
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Ive bn Clean Enough .. 3 years,2months and 27 days.Thats 1,182 days of freedom from active addiction. Lien cheatin the whole shuubang!

Bn to over 600 na meetings..have a sub support group I help chair. Lots of clean people around.

However ive had to back up on the na way.. this back and forth in my mind that im doing something wroug or not doing enough has almost driven me crazy. Its just that the further I went inside the program, the more I felt this way. Im fine on suboxone for now. Im just having trouble hereing
the message and being a true Beleiver in it at this point. But I also think Anybody starting out should indeed go to at least some meetings and see for themselves. No, I havint quit the fellowship but im not like them. And most make it known since I have help with a medicine. Lol oh well.. Glad you found a meeting Emmy. Wonder, I just keep puting one foot in front of the other and thank God I survived ..I love this Forum..Dr.J, our mods and heplful friends here.

We cant do this alone . Imo...we cant..

CLEAN ENOUGH @ 5 MGS a day...and Hats off to all of you who have made it to the otherside an/or continue to tapper an jump...I just ainta ready ..yet..

wow that was a ramble..sorry..new tablet!!!peace

Razor. 55.......


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:44 pm 
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Emmy wrote:
I found a meeting to go to tonight so hopefully I'll get a little better perspective there.
So how are you doing today,Emmy? You sure sound great, and it's a very positive step finding a meeting to attend tonight. If for any reason you get a negative vibe from that particular meeting please don't give up on the meetings altogether. Find one that you do enjoy being at. I think the meetings will really help you.

Emmy wrote:
how do you deal with people being soooo congratulatory about being off the oxys for a few days? I feel like an idiot when they are saying such nice things when honestly it's the suboxone that deserves the credit, not me, ya know? Plus it's only been four days, it's not like I'm clean a year or anything, ya know
I agree with Razor about you DESERVING any and all the congrats you can get. It certainly was YOU that has put in all the work up to this point, and you continually ask questions trying hard to better yourself also. You should not only fully accept all the accolades that come your way from others, but you have every right to be extremely proud of yourself too! Yes, it's only been 4 days for you, but to get to 1,000 days or more will always take that first day, then the second, etc, etc.

You are doing awesome and I am proud of you too Emmy! :D

-BP


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 3:25 pm 
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Well, BP- ok today. Just kinda lost in regret today. I don't want to sound negative when you've all been sooooo supportive and positive. I just feel horrible for what I've done to the people I love the most! So I'll leave it at that. I'm NOT wanting to "use" to take away the pain so at least I have that.
Hope you are doing good today BP!! Again I can't thank you enough for the support! It makes it a lot easier! I'm trying to stay busy and do whatever I can to do nice things for all the family I've hurt along the way. This regret is what I feared the most, but at least I'm trying desperately to start making things right.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 3:49 pm 
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Ahhh Emmy, I hear what you're saying girl. You're not sounding negative to me, you're putting your honest thoughts out here and it has to help just to do that. I can just about guarantee that you're not the only one here with regrets for some harm to others you've caused along the way. I certainly have my own, and once I got off the opiates and my life was beginning to look better, this big tuff guy was bawling his eyes out over a few things I had done in the past. Talk about regrets.

You will learn in those meetings how to undue some of that harm, but I will give you a little advice that really helped me begin to feel better about it. Once I had stopped all drugs and been on the suboxone, and then after 1 year completely off everything, I wanted to go tell anyone that would listen I was free, I was clean, I was no longer using any type of addictive substance again. Hell, I wanted to make a TV commercial about it! :D

But I actually told no one Emmy. I let my actions speak for themselves. I know I was a much better person on the suboxone, and a good person off everything. The greatest compliment I received was when someone came up to me and asked what was going on with me? When I aksed them to explain, they said they couldn't put their finger on it, but I just seemed "different" and like I was at peace with the world. And I am of course. They noticed!!!!

When we're in the heat of using, for most people it's all that consumes our mind day and night. When we're on suboxone, or off everything else it's not there any longer. That to me is the one great thing about suboxone, it ends the madness, and others take notice quickly.

What I'm saying is to just be yourself Emmy. People will notice the "new you" quickly and it will make the difference in how you feel. So for now try your best to let it go. Not easy I know, but you display great strength, and I know you can do it! It won't be very long before someone close to you asks what's going on with you like they did me. Then just smile and say you love life!

-BP


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:15 pm 
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Right that makes total sense. I'm not the kind of person who likes to wait, so that's what it kinda feels like, a hurry up and wait...I know it's impossible to undo everything I've done all at once so yea hopefully the meetings will help with finding steps to fixing everything. Your post actually brought down some of the anxiety I've been feeling today. You probably would like to kick me for constantly saying thank you haha but I really don't think I could have made it even this far without your support, so thank you!!!!! ;) it's a process, I know, and I have to just slow down and be greatful that I'm one of the lucky ones that didn't lose my house or my family, and be glad I'm still around to even have the ability to change everything! So for the dose I'm still doing 8mg of subs and had a little feeling of the urge to use last night so I'm definitely not going to lower it at this time! I almost forgot to tell you too, I didn't take the Klonipin yesterday and was able to sleep fine so that was exciting! My hubby kept telling me to take it since I needed it to sleep but I said no I have to try without it, anyway I WAS proud of skipping that! :)

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:19 pm 
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I'm not quite sure how to bring up a quote you guys post so if I messed it up, sorry. That's awesome Razor, over 600 meetings....that's crazy! I've only been to 2 so I have a ways to go lol. Do you find the group meetings are better or the one on ones?


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