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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 1:26 pm 
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My DOC was Percocet. My boyfriend used to get 120 30mg perks a month. Back in our addict days- him and i would sell/eat his whole months script in just a few days. Anyway- he had given some to one of my friends and she was gonna give him back out of her script. Well- she ended up getting cut off for a dirty urine that month. So here we are a year and a half later. She shows up at my house and we talk and hang for a while and she leaves. I get a text from her saying she left a bottle in my cabinet in the bathroom with the perks she owed my boyfriend. She knows we're both on subs now. I told her to come back and get them. She refuses because she doesn't want to owe me. I told her it's ok i don't want them in my house. I haven't heard back from her. I don't have the will power to flush them. I don't know anyone to give them too. Part of me wants to keep them for a rainy day. A just-in-case stash. That's the addict in me coming out. I'm torn and scared. I just can't find it in me to flush them. Help!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:04 pm 
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JACKIE, go in the bathroom, lift the seat up, and DROP THEM IN..
Sorry but you are risking your recovery. Period.
Just do it.
Ya the sub will block them now, a rainy day is right around the corner Jackie.
And the friend, really, she knows your in sub treatment but brought the things into your home ?.. Now she seemingly feels better because a debt is payed?

You ve worked hard to stay clean, keep it. Have doc around just doesn't do your recovery any good..

Take the bottle and dump them...

My 2cents...you can do it..

Razor...


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 4:46 pm 
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I agree...having your DOC in front of your face t0 haunt and taunt you...flush them! It happened to me when I found a Sub after 5 days of being clean. It bought up such upheaval until I flushed it. GONE and off your mind. Shes not a great friend...sorry. Let me tell you 1st hand...don't even try and take it, you wont feel it anyway. Its like a placebo and you'll get sick if you start Sub again too early. NOT WORTH IT. Whoosh....down the toilet. NOW!

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 4:56 pm 
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Thanks for the replies! After about an hour of pacing the floor in front of the toilet and going back in forth in my mind- it was like in cartoons when there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other- i dumped the bottle in the toilet! Immediately i thought about reaching in and grabbing them before there was too much water damage to them. But before i even had the chance i just held my breath- closed my eyes and flushed them! I did it! I am stronger than my urges and that addict i once knew! Your words of wisdom gave me the motivation to do it! Thank you


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 5:05 pm 
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I know it wasn't easy but,.........

WAY TO GO JACKIE

Your giving yourself a great chance here..



Razor


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 5:43 pm 
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One of the hardest things to do during early recovery is the "find and flush." good job! It's always very tempting to just put those things away for a "rainy day", after all, you're on sub now, you don't really want them, right? Buuuut, Addiction can be a sneaky monster lying in wait for the moment of weakness or sadness or desperation that will make you remember your rainy day stash,& BAM RELAPSE! You did an awesome thing for yourself and those who love you! Keeping that stuff around is just plain dangerous! You should be proud of yourself! : )


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 3:57 pm 
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Thank you! I'm really happy to have all of you here on this forum when i'm faced with something like this. Most people wouldn't understand. Being an ex addict it's really not as easy as people think- even though i'm in recovery- to do something like flush my doc down the toilet! I've worked hard to be where i am today and i refuse to let a handful of pills throw me back into the nightmare of addiction! And you're right- i don't need perks. I got my subs. That's all i need. I am very proud of myself! A few years ago i would never have been able to do that! That just goes to show me that i really am over my addiction. Even though it was hard and i contemplated it for a long time... I did it. And i didn't take any. That's what counts!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2015 12:14 am 
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YESE, YES, YES JACKIE you did it. Be very proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are much stronger than you thought. I hope your strength stays with you.

Anytime you need help just ask


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