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 Post subject: Don't Relapse...Plz
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:27 am 
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Short and sweet. Been off heroin and OC 5 years. Was on subs about 2 years, and eventually (with the help of this amazing forum) got off those as well.

So sober life was going great, moved to Texas to chase a new career, met a girl, life was good.

3 months into Texas something changed. Became aggressive, sad, just lost. Next thing I know...I have an Oz. Of Heroin in my hand, fronted.

I did it all in 6 days. Not only did I blow my sobriety, I owe money to the guy that spotted it. It's all in the game...

Don't Relapse, it is incredible how quickly you fall back into that lifestyle, "fuck it" is all it takes.

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 Post subject: Re: Don't Relapse...Plz
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:07 pm 
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Hello StillProdigy :)

I'm sorry to hear about ur relapse. Thank u for sharing that with us. It just reminds us that even with yrs of being clean, things can happen. Have u stopped using or are u still using heroin? Is suboxone something that you'd start bk on if u needed to?

I'm glad u shared that with us and I truly hope that ur doing better now. Moving to a new place could be extremely difficult on anyone, especially an addict.

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 Post subject: Re: Don't Relapse...Plz
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:36 pm 
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It takes a lot of guts to admit a relapse, so you should be proud that you are at least ready to be honest.

We want to help you in any way we can. So I have a few questions.

1. Have you figured out what led to your relapse? Do you recognize any triggers from this episode? The addict's brain is hard wired to recognize the sights, sounds, smells, etc. that were part of your experience when you were actively using. After recognizing these triggers your brain goes into a sort of auto pilot mode. You prepare your brain to rebel by working on your recovery and not letting your guard down.

2. What is your next step? Do you wish to stay off bupe for the time being? I know that stepping off bupe is difficult, so you may not to go on it again, but is it a possibility for you? If you're not going back on medication what are you going to change to prevent this from happening again?

I hope that you are currently sober and that this relapse doesn't go any further! Let us know how we can help!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Don't Relapse...Plz
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:43 pm 
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Mis Amy, good to see you around still! What caused this Relapse? Hmm working crazy hours, I'm an electrician it's tough work. I had an absessed tooth and a broken knuckle. I always turned down opiates. But that tooth...I took T4 as prescribed and they brought back the itch.

The Heroin was supposed to be a way to pay the bills on a tidy profit. I got stuck with it, and just demolishe'd it. After the binge, I stopped. Got 2 8mg strips and used them to clean up.
I still feel a litthe sick after about 8 days but it was very mild. Off the subs for 4 days (only took .25mg) for a few days.

My next step? Fk me...Idk I'm leaving Texas, going back home, for a much better job. I'm honestly not doing NA, or naltraxone. I fkd up, I got back quick, and I'm just going to learn from this and put it behind me.

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 Post subject: Re: Don't Relapse...Plz
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 8:02 pm 
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I'm not thinking that you should have to do NA, but if you were to read some good material it would still keep you on track. I really like the SMART Recovery stuff I've seen and it's all available online. Here's a link to the website. I'm actually ordering a number of their publications today so that I can possibly start a group around where I live.

I hope that it will go easier on you when you get back to your support system. You let us know if we can help, though.

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Don't Relapse...Plz
PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:17 am 
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Hey really good to hear from you Stillprodigy. I remember when you came on this forum back in the day.

I really do get the feeling this opioid addiction thing is, for the vast majority of people, a life-long battle. I've seen people relapse with many years clean. I myself relapsed after 18 months off Suboxone last year.

Can I ask how long you'd been off Sub before you relapsed?

And being that heroin is my problem drug, it's difficult to believe you bought that ounce without at some level knowing you were setting yourself up. If you wanted to make "easy money" without bringing yourself undone, you could have bought a drug that you didn't have a problem with.

Looking at ways to make easy / questionable money in any form is definitely a sign for me that my recovery is on shaky ground.

I also totally respect and understand your decision to continue your recovery without replacement. There are definitely benefits to living without Suboxone. And you've taken both paths before and know the respective risks and benefits. I do reckon though that if you don't have any other addiction / recovery supports like NA that you stick around here at least, or you find something else that helps. I personally struggle with NA and the steps these days as my personal recovery story never really matched their narrative. But I've found a new home in SMART.

Glad you survived. People die from heroin addiction. We don't really hear about them on this forum, probably because relatives don't think to report it. But it's fair to assume that there are many we don't hear from anymore who are no longer with the living. Glad you're not one of them.


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 Post subject: Re: Don't Relapse...Plz
PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:01 am 
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TJ still around, what's good buddy?

You and Amy mentioned SMART, never heard of it honestly...
In answer to your question, I was off subs a little over 2 years. Thought I was one of the lucky ones, never had a craving and just moved the hell on with my life. I've had multiple chances to relapse, whether from a doctor, dentist, or street dope, but honestly never even Concidered it.

This shit was different, I agree with you, about the sale...a part of me knew I was at lesst gonna "just try it" (I'm a smoker btw). The fella that wanted it flaked out and it sat there. Then it was GONE.
I have not been back to work, but will probably end up going back tomorrow. Most of the major WD I gone, and now I'm just bored.

Anways, as always, this forum comes through clutch. Thanks everyone who wrote, and plz....dont fkn relapse.

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