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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:52 pm 
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Amy-Work In Progress wrote:

Your post made me think about how we dispose of meds. I haven't ever flushed anything down the toilet to get rid of it. I'm not judging it, I've just never done it. Does anyone have a unique way of getting rid of pills? My husband had some hydros after a surgery right after I went on sub. When he didn't need them anymore I had him crush them and mix them with the dirty kitty litter. Does anyone else do that or do you have another method of getting rid of pills? I'm just curious. :)

Amy



Yeah, I became kinda conscious of that myself, after reading about prozac levels in the water systems!

Quote:
Fish on Prozac: Anxious, anti-social, aggressive

http://www.environmentalhealthnews.org/ ... -on-prozac


Landfill (where your kitty litter goes, I'm guessing) probably isn't as bad as down the terlit when it comes to this subject matter.

I thinking flushing has a psychological aspect to it for obvious reasons, and is why it is so popular when it comes to recovering drug addicts.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 7:05 am 
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Hey Amy..so sorry to hear about your mom- that is way too young to pass! And how shocking to talk to her one day and then she is "gone" the next! I can relate a bit- when we lost my brother at only 18 years old- the last memory I have is him walking in the front door smiling and happy from riding his motor cycle...I kept expecting him to just 'walk in the door" for a long time after we learned he had died; took awhile for me to wrap my head around it and accept the reality....I'm really truly sorry for your loss.

Good morning Trainer! Well, if you want "endless summer" come live by me!! No fall or winter or spring..just hot, hotter and hottest!! And now that it is cooling down a tiny bit and relatively nice to be outdoors we are back to work and school! I miss the seasons....but not the looooong winters.
I will pray for you about that job! Just a suggestion, but is there anyway you can make an appointment to go in personally, even if you don't get a call first? Call them and ask to come by and drop your CV or something? Or stop by and ask to make an appointment? I have been on both ends of online applications- I found when searching for a job the first place I went in personally is the place that hired me almost immediately. I was also in a position sifting through online applications, and there were so many I'm not sure we hired the best people...but you have to also be careful about just "dropping by unannounced" if they don't like that...you're smart and I'm sure will use your best judgement, but I think if they met you in person they'd probably hire you, or at least be sure to give you a "live" interview which would improve your chances. I needed some prodding from my husband to actually go into a place I had applied online, and his advice was spot on for me. Either way, fingers crossed for you!! :D

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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 5:29 pm 
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The training place I applied to stated no phone calls, no walk ins in their ad so I am probably not gonna go that route. Luckily, the director brings his trainees and handlers to my work twice a month to train in real world situations so next time I see him, I am gonna let him know I submitted my resume for consideration. We shall see!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 9:45 pm 
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You know you had an intense workout when your palms bleed from the iron bars and the grip texture tearing into them. Booyah!!!!!!!!! I had the entire gym to myself tonight. Love it when its empty. Bit creepy because its inside a huge old warehouse thats been converted into businesses that are spread throughout the building and to get to the bathroom you have to walk down a maze of hallways. I freaked myself out with thoughts of the boogey man hiding in the stall ready to jump out and get me. Lmao. I ran all the way back to the gym, then laughed at myself when I got back inside. Crazy :)

Hope everyone had a great day!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 6:12 am 
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Hi Trainer, the way ur getting strong at the gym, I think the bogey man would be afraid of you.

How's ur husband doing? Is his leg better?

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 7:09 am 
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Good morning Trainer- I agree with JI, I think you are probably the scariest (in a good way) "monster" at the gym! You know they have gloves to protect your hands when you lift, right? I wear them to protect from calluses...never crossed my mind that my palms would BLEED! Geeze girl, you are tough!!

Awesome that the director of the place you applied comes by your workplace- I think that is a very good sign!! I sure hope it works out, but if not I'm sure eventually something else will come your way.

I would also like to know how your husband is doing- update us when you get a chance! Have a great Sunday! You know you are supposed to rest today, right? NO working out.....especially NO AB WORK!!
lol :D BF

PS. I'm actually happy to hear that you are a bit afraid of bacon now...sorry that fear came in conjunction with your husband's health concerns...but hopefully he is doing better now!

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"BE the change that you wish to see in the world"

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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 9:45 am 
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The hubs is doing well. The swelling has gone down enough that he no longer has a "cankle". He is still taking it easy and just kicking around the house not doing anything strenuous. It looks funny seeing him with one well muscled leg and one puffy fat looking leg. Like a before and after theme. Lol

I am actually going to the sports store today to get gloves. I tore the calluses open last night and need them now so I can workout later without having to grimace in pain. Plus I noticed the bands of my wedding rings are getting scratched and worn down.

well I am off to run a huge list of errands before taking the dogs hiking! Have a great day!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:56 pm 
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Well last night was interesting. I slept 1 whole hour. The dogs freaked the hell out at 11:30, woke me up and I could not, for the life of me, fall back to sleep. So I worked my opening shift like a semi zombie. Gonna grab a power nap soon and recharge the dead battery. Geesh. No clue what that was all about but it sucked!!!!!! Lol glad I had a short shift today.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Monday so far :)


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:07 pm 
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Glad to hear that hubs is better.

I think an occasional bad night of sleep is pretty normal, you've probably got way more energy now compared to a few months ago, and that could translate into, too pumped up to sleep.

How's your mood doing these days?

-- ji

trainer14 wrote:
Well last night was interesting. I slept 1 whole hour. The dogs freaked the hell out at 11:30, woke me up and I could not, for the life of me, fall back to sleep. So I worked my opening shift like a semi zombie. Gonna grab a power nap soon and recharge the dead battery. Geesh. No clue what that was all about but it sucked!!!!!! Lol glad I had a short shift today.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Monday so far :)

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:22 pm 
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Mood is great! No issues with depression or crappy moods at all. All is well :) even on 1 hour of sleep I was good, just tired. Took a half hour nap, ate some lunch and got my 2nd wind. Probably crawl into bed exhausted tonight after the gym which I am hoping.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:37 pm 
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Nice! :)

-- ji

trainer14 wrote:
Mood is great! No issues with depression or crappy moods at all. All is well :) even on 1 hour of sleep I was good, just tired. Took a half hour nap, ate some lunch and got my 2nd wind. Probably crawl into bed exhausted tonight after the gym which I am hoping.

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 1:24 pm 
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I feel absolutely A M A Z I N G today. Slept so good last night after a 2 and a half hour workout. We tore it up at the gym! Anyways, woke up before my alarm, got to work early before anyone else ( had to wait in the car for 25 minutes but no biggie) and plowed through my morning acting like a big goofball. My coworker asked if she could drink what I did to be so hyper! At one point 3 of us broke out in a song and dance routine while working on our new fish shipment and had a customer laughing at us while he joined in. Great morning for sure!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:25 pm 
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Oopie doopie doo! What's up forum folks! Beautiful pre fall season day here. Just got home from work and have the day off tomorrow! Doesn't get better than that. Slept with Ducky in bed with us all night and that lil shit took up my whole side and kept pushing me over with her legs. Brat wanted me off the bed so sleep was broken a bit but feel good regardless.

Not much going on today but house chores and zoo keeping. Usual stuff. I am excited for next Sunday because we are going Urban Exploring inside a HUGE old victorian that's been abandoned for a decade (we have the property owners permission, he is going with us). Kinda spooky place still furnished with ancient stuff. It sits alone way off in the woods with no neighbors. Who knows what we'll find. Maybe ghosts! We are helping the owner prepare to turn it into a haunted house for the end of September till Halloween but he wants to make sure its safe structurally first. I will take pics for you! Peeking in the windows last night, it looks like people just walked out one day and never returned. Everything is set up and the dining room still had dishes sitting on the table. Spooky!!!!!!! I love that hokey ghost stuff!!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 2:35 pm 
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It's a hard life being a lazy dragon...........


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:08 am 
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How's my favorite poster-girl (poster-woman? Poster-person of the female variety? Lol) for Subs recovery?

I love that lizard, my ex-partner has a tattoo that looks similar. Looks kind of like a dinosaur.

Enjoy your day off tomorrow.

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:12 am 
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GRATITUDE

today as I start my day off, enjoying my coffee, playing with the dogs, I am very grateful for the life I have built. I have a great marriage, nice home, decent job and a sense of peace I haven't felt in a long time. These past few months I see improvements in my life steadily every week. My energy is through the roof, mood is stable, outlook positive and I effectively deal with anything that comes my way. Working out has been a godsend and I believe has a huge factor in how I feel today.

Thinking more clearly, I find I can now take a step back from issues and think before I react. I was a bitannoyed yesterday when I got into my car to go to work and see that my stepson just about drained my tank of gas the night before. I had half a tank before he took it. Now usually, I would get seriously pissed off, complain to my husband, and stew about it the whole day. Instead, I thought to myself that it was just gas, my stepson is a considerate kid and probably left his gf's house well after the gas stations around here closed. I put it out of my mind until later last night when I saw him. I calmly and politely asked that if he used my car, he replace the gas he used and not leave me with an almost empty tank. He quickly apologized and handed my $20 and said he totally forgot about the station closing at 10 pm and it was closed when he drove by at 11:30.

It felt good to not regret texts I would of usually sent my hubs bitching up a storm in the heat of anger. It felt good to not stew about it for awhile during the day. 3 months ago I would of done just that and after I calmed down would feel like an ass for the mad texts I sent.

I never really get mad over to many things but when I did I was a hothead that reacted first, then thought it through after. I find I am not doing that now. I have a flash of "W T F!!!!!", But quickly take a step back and think about it first.

I find I am communicating my feelings more openly to my hubs as well. Let's be honest, our significant others at times can annoy the hell out of us! Typically when the hubs pissed my off or annoyed the hell out of me I would avoid him and either hide in the reptile room or upstairs in my room and zone out to the tv. Now I speak up and tell him when he is upsetting me. Most of the time he had no clue his actions were upsetting me and thought I was just engrossed in work with the lizards or a tv show. I jokingly said "nope, I was avoiding you so I didn't bludgeon you with an ax". Lmao

so we live, we learn and we grow..........


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 5:08 pm 
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^^^^^^Love love love this post Trainer....wow....it's sure been a summer to remember, huh?
It's great to be on the "other side" and I am also very "grateful".

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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:26 pm 
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"I see you are enjoying a sammich..... I too, happen to enjoy a sammich. Hint hint hint"


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:31 am 
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Hi Trainer, I like your dog and I love your post. On Subs (plus Methadone for me, as well as heroin & cocaine & alcohol before that), it was like walking around in a mental cocoon, cut off from the things around us, and inside us.

Amazing once the cocoon come off (and we become sobriety Butterflies, pardon the metaphor BF, lol). The things around us are neither as good nor as bad as we thought they were when we lived in our Subs-saturated heads. They just are. And now we can learn to deal with them just as they are, rather than how we think they should be, or want them to be. Never really understood the expression 'life on life's terms,' but maybe that's what it means. I think that true joy comes from peace within, not from getting gratification via people and possessions in our lives.

I tended to internalize conflict, too, while on Subs, and that's not a great way to live. Store sh*t up, and, while we carry it around, it comes out in bursts of anger and resentment (or remorse and self-pity). What a joy not to live that way any more (though it's a process, right? Not an overnight change).

BTW what's a 'sammich?' Does your dog have a speech impediment, lol?

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 1:54 pm 
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RESENTMENT AND LETTING GO

so at the beginning of the week, I was asked to work Sunday, which is my usual day off. Half of me wanted to, other half silently thought "enough with this extra shift shit, hire more people already". Half heartedly I agreed. All week, the thought of missing out on time spent with my husband, the loss of a whole weekend (9 hours both days), and having to be there more than I wanted really built up into resentment. Towards myself, for saying yes, and towards my work, for stretching everyone really thin the past month. I realized what lies just underneath is selfishness. Huge selfishness on my part. What's so bad about making 9 hours of time in a half for Sunday. We sure could use the extra money, since we just bought new cell phones today. My next thought was that its just 1 day out of my life. Big deal!

I have come to the realization that I can be a selfish person at times and need a new perspective on things. I need to let go of petty resentments that I create all on my own. I could of said no. I could of said I would work a few hours but didn't want the whole shift.

today I choose to see the extra shift as a blessing. I have a job, when some don't. I am making extra money that we hadn't counted on. I am working witha new manager who is really nice and could use all the people he can get that have experience with all the crazy shit that happens there on the weekends.

I see that resentment, and I choose to let it go. Today I am healthy, happy and working. What is there to be resentful about?


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