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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 9:33 am 
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Feeling pretty damn good folks! ! Mood is decent I might add. Kinda happy as the morning moves on. Working tonight so I have all morning and mid afternoon to just chill at home with my dogs. I have energy too. Must be the extra sleep I got last night.

so folks who are prejump: day 7 is a turning point I think, even at a 2 mg jump. Symptoms are minimal and come and go quickly. Had the chills a bit when I woke up and goosebumps, but they are gone now. Mind feels clear and the craving to dose I had earlier left after I took my dogs out and came back inside after. I have german shepherds who are very active so we go outside to play frisbee ALOT during the day. They wont let me stay in bed so thats helpful. I also own lizards who require specialized care and nutrition so laying around being stuck in withdrawals is not an option. Did I also mention the large aviary of birds? So ya, I am a busy person and it truly helped. My animals dont understand withdrawals nor do they care. They want their food, attention and habitats cleaned daily. Demanding jerks that they are. Hahaha


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:37 am 
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trainer14 wrote:
My animals dont understand withdrawals nor do they care. They want their food, attention and habitats cleaned daily. Demanding jerks that they are. Hahaha


Your animals sound like my kids! lol :D
I agree though, it does help to get our minds off of ourselves!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:46 am 
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This really is a damn roller coaster ride. Not 2 hours ago I was feeling pretty good. Optimistic, happy and clear headed. Now, I have the sweats (again...ugh) and so jittery! That smell is back and all I keep thinking is "you idiot, you could of picked your refill up yesterday and ended this".

I know its part of this whole process and it will pass but I hate the up and down from one hour to the next. The body symptoms really arent anything major, its the mental mind f#$% that gets to me.

I find myself analyzing every little symptom and emotion this past hour. I know what I need to do. I need to get up, get moving and get out of the house for a drive but I only have enough gas to get to and from work tonight so I am stuck in the house. Been outside with the dogs at least 4 times tossing the frisbee but cant seem to find the desire to be out there for more than 15 mins at a time. My dogs keep giving me that "wtf, we JUST got out here and you wanna go in again" look.

Just babbling I guess. Finding it harder to stay positive. Better days ahead. It can't rain forever.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 12:18 pm 
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trainer, I applaud your diligence and courage in doing this. However you feel, good or bad, don't stop posting! We need your feedback! Sending good thoughts your way.... :)

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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 12:55 pm 
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rca1004 wrote:
trainer14 wrote:
My animals dont understand withdrawals nor do they care. They want their food, attention and habitats cleaned daily. Demanding jerks that they are. Hahaha


Your animals sound like my kids! lol :D
I agree though, it does help to get our minds off of ourselves!


I have animals and kids. And non of them care!!! :-)


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:48 pm 
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Seroquel is nasty! My doc gave me some when I came off methadone at Christmas, and did the 72 hours meth-free before getting on Suboxone. I used it then, because I felt so crappy anyways, but I won't use it now. It makes me feel like a zombie that I'd rather be tired but semi-alert.

Glad to hear that you're still Suboxone-free, keep it up!

-- JI

trainer14 wrote:
Honestly, it hasnt been totally shitty. I am still hoping as I go further I dont get blind sided but at 6 days tomorrow, how much worse can it be? Just the rls and insomnia gets annoying but is doable. I am evn planning on joining the gym in a couple more weeks. I dont have any support meds like the clonidine or serequel everyone talks about. Been only taking immodium to ward off the nasty stomach issues I hate.

a positive approach seems to be the best cure and not laying around! Laying in bed all day makes it 1000 times worse imo.

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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:49 pm 
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Feeling pretty shitty folks. Trying to hold out for the lift in mood and energy. Needing to start getting ready for work shortly and the task feels daunting. The thought of calling out has crossed my mind but gonna push my sorry ass out the door and suck up the 5 hour shift. Looking forward to the end of this damn day.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:57 pm 
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You can do this trainer- Warrior Attitude!!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:28 pm 
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Just got out of the shower and feel slightly better. My hands are shaking pretty bad. Totally new symptom for me in withdrawals. Usually they are a little shaky but not so bad that I skipped puttng mascara on out of fear of gettng it everywhere but my eyelashes.

Honestly day 7 is pretty rough and that bums me out. Feel like I am going backwards instead of forging full steam ahead.

decided to wear a second shirt under my work shirt because the sweats have reared its ugly head again. I have to teach a class at 7 pm tonight and paranoid I am going to look like a train wreck and smell to high heaven from sweating so bad. Last Saturday, my first day withdrawing I was at work and my shirt was so saturated from sweat, it looked like I ran a marathon all day. Not pleasant feeling eithrr to be in an air conditioned building freezing your ass off, sweating up a storm in early June. The 2nd day I had to go to my stepsons high school graduation ceremony surrounded by my husbands family while silently screaming inside and forcing a fake smile. Then the after party, where I wanted nothing more than going upstairs to lay down but couldnt.

I kept telling myself that after a week, I would feel much better and it would all be over. Boy was I blindsided!

Today I hope is my peak and it will get better and a little easier from there on. 8 days off subs tomorrow. Proud I made it this far but damn its getting harder and harder to stay positive.

anyone out there past the 7 day mark have any insight on how its been day to day? I could sure use hearing "8 days was the turning point and I feel great". I need something to look forward to.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 3:08 pm 
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By jumping off at 2 mg, i'll bet you saved yourself several weeks of low grade symptoms, I'm now at .5 mg/day and can relate to some of the same symptoms.

Silently screaming inside while trying to keep a smile pasted on my mug, yup.

No idea what a day 7 might look like yet, but it's got to be closer to getting over the hump (and maybe it will be the day that finds you on the other side). Good luck!

-- JI

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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 3:48 pm 
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im sure you well know, your mind is going to tell you anything to fix its self. It will ease up for you just keep pushing. The physical shit should be over in a few days. Its comes in waves as im sure you can tell. you sound busy which is a good thing. do you have any clonidine :?: it really works wonders during the first few days/weeks. keep posting and stay strong.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 5:38 pm 
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Well completely disappointed in myself guys. I just could not push past it today and left work early. Actually 30 measly minutes into my shift. I was saturated in sweat, shaky and just said "nope nope nope". Had to call my students and cancel class and my boss was bullshit. So no points won there for sure but today I said "fuck it". I actually said to him when I told him I needed to go home and I got that "look", like "oh geez, seriously?" That he could write me up, I would take the hit.

So bummed but whatever. Anyways, I came home and the supplements I bought online had arrived. I got some ltyrosine and some brain support stuff (dont judge, I am open to try anything, lol) and took the recommended doses and puked them right back up. No time to run to the bathroom or hit the trash, it just instantly shot up (sorry for the mental image).

So there I am, sweaty, shaky, disappointed and now have puke on my shoes. So ya, here's to day 7!

would love to post all good, positive stuff but there sadly is some ugly mixed in and wanna be brutally honest so everyone can get an idea of the battle. I naively thought when my first 5 days were semi ok that it would be all good but I got blindsided hitting my 7th day. My resolve to stay the course hasnt waivered but god, its a tough ride for sure.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 6:08 pm 
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I had to listen to music it was the only thing that took my mind off the way I was feeling. I would sit put on music and post my ass off. you should start feeling better a little every day here real soon. keep hydrated with some Gatorade or pedialyte it helps. keep posting it will be day 8 soon.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:35 pm 
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Just woke up from a short nap and the hubs brought home a meatball sub from subway. My favorite. Ate it and its sitting like a rock in my volcano rumbling stomach. Hadnt eaten much of anything past couple days and now remember why! Hopefully it stays down.

The brief sleep cleared my mind a bit and dont feel as hopeless as I did. I broke down crying before I fell asleep, just couldnt put on the warrior face I was carrying around and when my husband asked how I was holding up I just let it go. Was kind of bottled upand when I felt emotional this past week, I would stifle the tears so finally released it.

the sweats stopped for now thank god. The one thing I hate. They seem to subside, then reappear a couple hours later. My laundry basket is filling up with tshirts that I have to change.

one thing that I thought about was why today was so much more shitty than days 1 thru 6 and I realized that today I allowed the withdrawals to creep up on me slowly by just laying around all morning. Every day since I stopped, I got up, showered and out the door to do stuff all morning long and got home late afternoon. Big difference staying active makes. I cannot let that happen again. Gotta stay ahead!

Well finally getting this shitty day behind me as it creeps past 7 pm. Hopefully I get some decent sleep tonight. I dont know if napping is gonna take away from my sleep but when your so sleep deprived, you'll take it any chance you can.

Gonna take the dogs out, then let my iguanas roam free for a bit. My male has been restless being stuck in his pen all week and startng to get a bit pissy with me when I walk by. My female is lazy and could care less as long as you leave her in her tree and dont bother her to much. My kinda lizard. Haha.


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:31 pm 
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Starting to feel better physically! Maybe the food helped. Sitting in my basement alone while the igs roam around. Converted my entire basement into reptile heaven years ago when I bought the house. Its warm, about 85 degrees down here, with all the heat lamps and uvb bulbs going so getting some artificial sun and nice temp. I was letting my male climb up my back and started giggling at his head bobbing at the dogs and realized I felt better. Much better. Maybe the really warm temps and just being with my animals helped. Maybe I am rounding the corner as I head into day 8. I have some pens and tanks to clean and I dont feel like its not impossible to actually do it. My igs both have 8 foot long pens that go from floor to ceiling on opposite sides of the basement and my argentine tegu has a 6 foot pen in the middle so got alot of cleaning to do. My biggest fear was that without my use of subs, chores like this would be damn near impossible to accomplish but feeling motivated!

So off I go, to scrub lizard poop and wash the basement floor and disinfect the bearded dragon tanks!

Have a great night everyone!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:27 pm 
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Congrats on day7!!! Seriously, you working and on your feet all day after a 2mg jump makes me look, and feel, like a pansy! Your sense of humor about this is incredible! I'm on day 2 of .25 and will jump Monday. You give me so much hope! I am still experiencing the yawns, lethargy, and irritability but it REALLY isn't that bad. Your body is healing and sleep will come back to you soon! Congrats again!!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:39 pm 
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Thank you! Didnt feel to strong all day but right now, in this moment I feel well again. I have decided to just take things in small increments moment by moment rather than focusing on the whole day and my symptoms. Day 8 tomorrow and I still cannot believe I made it this far! Not gonna dwell on how I may or may not feel tomorrow. I will worry about things as they arise.

do you feel excited about monday and your jump? Congrats on your low taper. I could never do the low taper route beyond 2 mgs. No idea why I found it so hard. If you can do that, you can do the jump off pretty easily. Nice soft landing, like stepping off a curb! Rather than jumpin from the roof =)


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 4:42 am 
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Hi trainer, just sending you positive energy and happy thoughts as you embark on Day 8. Keep moving forward, and like you said, focusing on one moment at a time! I admire your courage and attitude!!


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 7:15 am 
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Day 8. Tossed and turned all night. Was so hard to fall asleep and when I finally did, it only lasted an hour or so. At one point I woke up thinking it was 4 or 5 am and I slept alot only to look at the clock and see it was only 12:30. I woke up at 5 am and layed in bed wide awake till I get up out of frustration. I sure do miss my sleep.

Mood at the moment is completely flat and detached. Got goosebumps and chills and I am sure the sweats will make its appearance, right as I get to work no doubt x_x

its hard not to want that morning dose. I would always feel so much better after and raring to go. Past 2 mornings its been extremely hard to get motivated to do anything but watch tv which is a bad, bad idea, especially after yesterdays disaster after sitting around. My mind just feels really heavy, like dealing with anything feels impossible and I wanna hide from the world in the safety of my room.

hopefully it will pass soon. Didn't feel this way until yesterday. I know it wont last forever but is really oppressive at the moment =(


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 Post subject: Re: DOING IT!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 7:29 am 
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trainer14 wrote:
Day 8. Tossed and turned all night. Was so hard to fall asleep and when I finally did, it only lasted an hour or so. At one point I woke up thinking it was 4 or 5 am and I slept alot only to look at the clock and see it was only 12:30. I woke up at 5 am and layed in bed wide awake till I get up out of frustration. I sure do miss my sleep.

Mood at the moment is completely flat and detached. Got goosebumps and chills and I am sure the sweats will make its appearance, right as I get to work no doubt x_x

its hard not to want that morning dose. I would always feel so much better after and raring to go. Past 2 mornings its been extremely hard to get motivated to do anything but watch tv which is a bad, bad idea, especially after yesterdays disaster after sitting around. My mind just feels really heavy, like dealing with anything feels impossible and I wanna hide from the world in the safety of my room.

hopefully it will pass soon. Didn't feel this way until yesterday. I know it wont last forever but is really oppressive at the moment =(

Hey trainer, I've also been up since before the crack of dawn! When I dropped to .5mg I had a weekend of depression, and looking back it started when I decided to "relax" in my bedroom with the curtains closed. Then it just snowballed, and I could not get myself out of the "funk" for a day or two. The depression aspect is the scariest symptom for me..I really really have a hard time with that, so since I'm so scared s___less to get depressed again, I've been forcing myself to go out running in the mornings and it has really really helped. I put on my headphones and blast the tunes, so I'm thinking the combo gives just enough endorphin to get me through without the depression falling again. Now, I haven't jumped yet, so I'm definitely not in your shoes, just sharing my experience as maybe it might help you a bit today. Hang in there!!!


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