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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:39 pm 
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I think what Amber was asking is, did you also feel emotionless while on other opiates when you were using? Or is it just suboxone? That perhaps there's some sort of underlying condition that opiates tend to exaggerate?

I think your above answer shows that it's an issue that only comes up during suboxone use. It continues to blow my mind that people react so differently to suboxone. I really hope that there are more drugs to choose from that treat opiate addiction in the near future, just like there are for depression.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:40 pm 
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WantToBeFREE wrote:
That didn't last. I started to feel well, emotionless. I could still feel if i kept digging deep enough to GET to those emotions, but I could sit through a horrible nearly relationship ending fight and not bat an eye.


This is really interesting, because I feel the exact same thing.

You guys know I'm hardly one to defend Suboxone against the charges going around in this thread. But I do question whether Suboxone is what's behind us turning into emotional cripples. Main reason is that, in the months / years that I spent clean off opioids without the assistance of drug-replacement pharmacotherapy - ie totally abstinent - I felt like I was an emotional cripple just as much as I do now on Sub... in fact, I might have felt it even more.

Another thing ... I spent a large whack of those months psych medication free, so I can't blame psych medications for it either.

I genuinely feel that addiction in itself, especially opioid addiction, stunts us and isolates us emotionally. There's something about the self-obsession and emotional isolation of addiction that has a lasting effect on our personalities. People in NA would tell me that it took them years off opioids before they could learn to (a) cry at a loved ones funeral (b) cry over breakups (c) feel elation, or say that they "loved" someone to themselves with complete confidence. It's for this reason I wouldn't attribute us feeling "nothing" to Suboxone, or at least not ONLY to Suboxone.

Interesting thing is ... I hadn't been able to shed a tear at all for a decade since I started using IV drugs. Surprisingly this has managed to come back a bit since being on Suboxone, so Suboxone doesn't stop us developing and growing emotionally.

I do however feel Suboxone does soften the emotions a bit and remove their intensity. I often play improv piano. I'd even call it my therapy. However, I find that shortly after I dose, I don't "feel" it as much when I try to play. It's like the feeling ain't there, like I'm forcing it somewhat. The OTHER extreme is when I'm experiencing some withdrawal. I'm literally crying over the piano, picturing myself like some kinda bipolar Beethoven (didn't he have bipolar anyway?) pouring my heart and soul over the thing. I actually didn't mind the feeling of withdrawal early in my addiction for that reason ... but then I got a REAL habit.

When I was in recovery without Suboxone doing 12-step jazz ... my creative feelings were somewhere in between. I was able to connect with my feelings better than while on methadone / Suboxone, but at the same time my emotional responses to situations were still completely out of whack, if non-existent.

In that regard I've probably experienced MORE emotional recovery while on Sub than in the periods I spent abstinent.

I think it's incredibly difficult for anyone who hasn't experienced recovery without Suboxone to be certain that Sub is the cause of their problems, especially given opioid addiction itself causes such big changes in the brain. Even those of us who have experienced abstinence find it hard to be objective about this stuff.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:29 pm 
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Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I think what Amber was asking is, did you also feel emotionless while on other opiates when you were using? Or is it just suboxone? That perhaps there's some sort of underlying condition that opiates tend to exaggerate?

I think your above answer shows that it's an issue that only comes up during suboxone use. It continues to blow my mind that people react so differently to suboxone. I really hope that there are more drugs to choose from that treat opiate addiction in the near future, just like there are for depression.

Amy


Oh okay I see what you mean. No, on other opiates I was more just soulless and as evil as I could be have no regards toward others only my selfish nature in feeding my addiction. With Suboxone I can feel guilt and all that when I do something wrong. When I actively used illegal substances I was just chilled and out of it most of the time but still did things sometimes. On Suboxone it's just completely different. I can't find joy in much of anything, especially humor, when someone says something funny or makes other people laugh, I just sit there with not even a smile.

It is pretty baffling to see all the different side effects Subs has on everyone. And while it is a drug that helps it doesn't come without consequence. I will hopefully be rid of it within a couple months and can start my life drug free. Also make sure to do what I didn't before which was go to meetings, get a sponsor, and all the other steps to take towards recovering.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 7:28 pm 
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methadone did this to me a lot more than subs do.... I think subs dull me a little but that badly... I been on about 8 years and still take 12mgs a day on average.... I can take less but when I was taking like 6-8mgs a day last time I started using heron again... trust me, if u use enuff u can still get very high.... that's why I went back up in dose....

I wonder if I am ever going to get off subs.... if staying on subs keeps me from getting strung out on heroin than I am fine with it...


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:09 pm 
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pat_d wrote:
I wonder if I am ever going to get off subs.... if staying on subs keeps me from getting strung out on heroin than I am fine with it...


You hit the nail right on the head! Thanks for posting that.

r

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