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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:11 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:36 pm
Posts: 9
Location: Flyover country
Pelican, and the rest, thank you so much for your kind comments. I took my last dose two days ago. I'm sick, but not much sicker than when I tapered rapidly. I've been sick for almost two weeks, and now this should end soon. I'm on antidepressants and have hydroxyzine for the anxiety. It's the restless legs that I'm not sure what to do about. It's hell having that at night (it happens to my arms and hands too). For the last two nights, I've barely slept because of RLS with heart racing.

I appreciate that you were concerned about me to ask about my plan. My plan to stay sober is to continue to stay connected to my sober friends, community, and meetings. I'm very established in the recovery community because of my AA meeting and alcohol sobriety.

Does anyone know where I can donate my extra Suboxone? I have a bunch left, and I get the feeling my doctor won't take it (I've asked)? I have about 30+ 12mg films left. I do want to get it out of the house. I don't want to even have the ability to go snip a piece off to relieve the pain I'm feeling right now...not going through this again!

Turning 50 and dealing with the weight gain from the subs was the ultimate turning point and deal breaker. I wish I could have made it's a miracle drug. But the leg swelling, water retention and (major) constipation were not sustainable. Plus...I absolutely am not going to get fat NOW at 50, when I'm struggling (career wise, socially) to stay relevant. You'll understand this when you get to be this age. I never thought this day would come (I was such lush and a druggie in my early 20s, I thought I'd be dead by now). I'm gay too, so I thought HIV would have gotten me a long time ago.

But here I am...I'm blessed to have lived to this age. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to have lived a while longer and have wisdom and experience. But I must focus on my physical health and it includes a healthy weight because our family has a history of cancer and heart disease. Plus I'm single and 50, and nobody is going to want a fat middle-aged guy. I will never lose weight on Suboxone...ever. I tried everything. In fact, I was considering abusing laxatives because I took so many to stay regular anyway. I was a day or two away from an eating disorder. I had to do this.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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