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 Post subject: A Dinner and a Dance
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 8:25 pm 
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So, as most of you have figured out, I work in law. I am the right hand girl to a Florida judge and we handle civil as well as criminal cases. Most of our cases are as boring as watching paint grow. Or is it watching grass dry? Meh, you get the point.


Anyhoo.. For those of you that are unfamiliar with legalese, I will brief you on the terms so you can understand the story better.


The parties in lawsuits are as follows:

Judge: Well, if you don't know what a judge does, then stop here and go read another thread.
Plaintiff: That's the person or an attorney that represents a person to sue someone, usually for money.
Defendant: That's the person that's being sued. This person plays the worst part in the whole showdown.

Another legal term you need to know is "complaint". That's the term for the issues at hand. You file a complaint, pay the fee to have it heard by a judge, get a trial and then a verdict.


Sooooo.... We had a case (and I'm not revealing anything confidential here... It's all public record. I have, however, changed the names to protect the not so innocent.) and it's a simple small claims suit. Simple? Yes. Hilarious? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!


Here goes:


Plaintiff (the person who sues) Wayne Sullivan, sued Defendant (the sue-ee) Jennifer Antonio.


Here's what the complaint says:

Plaintiff contracted with defendant on September 8, 2010 as follows: Plaintiff was to pay Defendant $750 cash plus two (2) restaurant dinners ($130 value) and in return, the Defendant was to provide five hours of private exotic dancing and erotic modeling at Plaintiff's residence commencing at 12:00 midnight after the second dinner. Plaintiff provided said dinners and at the second dinner, paid the Defendant the entire amount agreed upon. During dessert, the Defendant excused herself to go to the laidies room, but instead she took the money and skipped out of the restaurant.

ImageImageImage


I'm SURE you all know that erotic dancing and erotic modeling is code for sex, right?

Ok.... So I'm sitting there listening to this and thinking, "WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND SUES A PROSTITUTE???!! ImageImage


OH! EM! GEE! The courtroom was IN HYSTERICS! The plaintiff and defendant were SCREAMING at each other across the table and my judge was SCREAMING at them to SHUT UP! It was sheer mayhem! It was all I could do to not burst out laughing... After the trial, they had to be police escorted OUT of the courthouse to their respective cars so they didn't kill each other! Again.. HILARIOUS!


So, the topper of the whole thing was the verdict. The Defendant didn't deny what she did, but assumed she couldn't be sued because she was doing something illegal. However, the terms of the contract were not illegal. You can contract all you want. Had she followed through with sex, then the Plaintiff may have had some issues. Since there was no sex involved, the Plaintiff had a valid case. The verdict? My Judge ruled in favor of the Plaintiff! The Defendant (the escapee) has to pay this guy back the $750 AND court costs in the amount of $330! ImageImageImage



I have seen hundreds of cases in the course of my career, but this one is a real kicker. I mean.... That man had some serious balls to actually SUE her!



Hell, I don't blame him. I'd sue the bitch, too! You know what's funny? He thought he was gonna get screwed, but got screwed in a completely different way, and then she ends up getting ROYALLY SCREWED by HIM! LMFAO!


the end


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 10:20 pm 
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I much prefer this thread over the other one. Thanks for the laugh :lol:

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Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 10:38 pm 
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Jackcrack wrote:
I much prefer this thread over the other one. Thanks for the laugh :lol:


Ditto!

:lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 11:14 pm 
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Omg, that is rich! Oh, South Florida, how I miss your colorful inhabitants!

Libra, have you ever read the blog Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds? It's chock full of hilarious stories about some of SoFlo's skeevier residents; you know, gold diggers, whores, rich old crazy-ass men, strippers...

If you haven't ever seen it, check out her archives. There's some laugh-out-loud stories & the author is a Southern girl with excellent wit and storytelling abilities.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2010 3:13 am 
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Diary of a Quitter wrote:
Omg, that is rich! Oh, South Florida, how I miss your colorful inhabitants!

Libra, have you ever read the blog Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds? It's chock full of hilarious stories about some of SoFlo's skeevier residents; you know, gold diggers, whores, rich old crazy-ass men, strippers...

If you haven't ever seen it, check out her archives. There's some laugh-out-loud stories & the author is a Southern girl with excellent wit and storytelling abilities.


OMG! I'm an avid reader and I absolutely LOVE Carl Carl Hiaasen. This author sounds just like him and right up my alley!

And dear lord, woman! Just what I need! Another website to visit daily...... This dust is NEVER going to go away.

LOL @ "SoFlo's skeevier residents"!!!


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