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PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:47 pm 
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hello everyone, i'm new to the forum.

so for the past 5 years i have had an ongoing battle with heroin addiction, but for the past two years i have been clean, or at least on the way there. when i was a student, i was able to successfully taper off suboxone when i lived abroad in france, and it was there that i met new friends that weren't' addicts and it was a great help.

when i returned to america, however, i was immediately thrust back into bad behavior. i cleaned up my act again, and for the past six months i have been taking subutex. i tapered down to 1mg (1/8 of a pill) every other day, and decided to take the jump on wednesday (i was so proud of myself, i had a full 30 pills left because my doctor seems to think that i should be taking a much higher dose, but i flushed them all down the toilet). it has been 96 hours, and the pain was so bad that i broke down and took a small piece that a friend gave me (it looked to be around 1/10 - 1/16th of a pill, so anywhere from .5 -.75 mg).

i feel extreme guilt now, because i had made it 96 hours, and now i'm afraid i have ruined everything. is the withdrawal going to restart? will it be as bad as it has been? i am moving out of the country to be with my girlfriend, who has been wonderful and pivotal in keeping me clean, on friday; and there is no chance i will be able to get bupe there. i just am praying that i didn't set myself back, i honestly did not take much, just enough to get the energy to mow the lawn. did i screw myself over? any advice/personal experience would be greatly appreciated!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 5:42 pm 
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Hey man--
Not sure if that will set you back. But 96 hours is amazing. Keep punching dude. The only way to beat the bad guy is fight. There are some other things you can do--check some of the other posts. But the main thing you can do is keep your eyes on the prize. A new life. A free life. It is worth a few days of discomfort to punch through. I jumped from n8mgs a day after two years. This Tuesday will be six weeks. I feel really good. Other than waking early and some fatigue--I am pretty normal. I really had to dig deep in Days 5-12. And a few days after I felt very tired and wondered when the hell this woulod end. But it DOES get better. You are doing a great job man. Stay true and keep going.

brian


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:14 pm 
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Hey st_ides_heaven,

I don't think that .5mg - .75mg you took is gonna ruin the progress you made. Don't feel guilty about it Bud, you're certainly not the only one who has done something like that. I made it about 18 hours into my detox off of Suboxone, I panicked and took two Lorcet Plus (hydrocodone 7.5mg). Shit happens, man.

I see you tapered down to 1mg every other day, being able to skip days like that at a pretty low dose of Suboxone is really good. You're gonna feel crappy for a while, but you can make it through.

Brain__Tx and I both jumped from pretty high doses. Doses in the neighborhood of 8mg. We both made it through our wd from Suboxone. Sure, it was tough, but it is absolutely within your reach too. Have you got any comfort meds?? Clonidine is an excellent medication for opaite wd, it's a Blood Pressure medication that's prescibed "off label" for opiate wd. I took .1mg of Clonidine two times a day and it helped me a ton with my wd. You may want to check in on a Benzo (Valium, Xanax), short term use of a benzo during opiate wd will help to relax you, it'll calm you down. You just have to be careful with the Benzo's, they're highly addictive, that's why you should only use them for a short time.....a week to 10 days perhaps. Clonidine is NOT addictive, you can use it as long as you feel you need it.

Hang in there, man. Try not to worry about the small amount of Suboxone you took.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 1:52 am 
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Hey man had to reply cause I dig your screen name! I always wondered if there were any Elliott Smith fans on here..

Anyways onto your question. I went through the same situation as you. I made it exactly 96 hours if my memory serves me right. I dosed one last time and then I was done. I would say it helped me out more than anything. Suboxone acts as a full agonist at low doses so it will be out of your system within 24 hours anyways. It gave me the extra push I needed and relief to recollect myself and never look back. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you have to dose again in another 96 hours so be it. You are still that much closer. Keep your head up


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:46 pm 
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Rmac04 wrote:
Hey man had to reply cause I dig your screen name! I always wondered if there were any Elliott Smith fans on here..

Anyways onto your question. I went through the same situation as you. I made it exactly 96 hours if my memory serves me right. I dosed one last time and then I was done. I would say it helped me out more than anything. Suboxone acts as a full agonist at low doses so it will be out of your system within 24 hours anyways. It gave me the extra push I needed and relief to recollect myself and never look back. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you have to dose again in another 96 hours so be it. You are still that much closer. Keep your head up


I'm not sure about dosing up every 96 hours. It sounds like a small dosage but that could be the recipe for the worlds longest withdrawal.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:49 pm 
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Hi St Ides

I don't necessarily think you set yourself back, but you should try and get yourself in a position where you can just withdraw and be done with it. Have absolutely nothing on your plate for the next 2-3 weeks. As we all know, what comes along with withdrawals is lack of energy, anxiety, some say pain, I never had it, and a myriad of other symptoms. If you keep taking them to accomplish your daily tasks...then you'll never get off of them. Unfortunately whether it's heroin or suboxone....Withdrawals are imminent. It's kind of like, do you wanna do it now, or do you wanna do it later?, but the withdrawals WILL come eventually. Now if you DO take another one it should only be so that you can stock up on food and water while you withdraw so you'll have everything you need to take care of yourself while you're withdrawing. Good luck. Hope you can come off the sub and live a happy life with your girl.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 12:46 pm 
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Great job on 96 hrs, I'm in the same position as you except I broke down after 16 days and took .05mg two days in a row just to help with the restlessness, no sleep and anxiety. The funny thing is that I didn't go out looking to buy sub or go get a script filled....I found 1.5mg on the floor of my bedroom. Like you I feel ok for now but wondering if I set myself back and if the PAWS is gonna start all over again.

Please report back and let us/me know how it works out...I will do the same in your thread.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 1:17 pm 
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I'm sorry to have to say this, but I just did the exact same thing. At 96 hours off of Sub I took 0.25 mg and I've taken that amount now for three consecutive days. I was really, really angry at myself, but like others have said, we just have to keep looking forward with our eye on the prize. We have to remember where we came from, and how much we have lowered our tolerance. A week ago 0.25 gave me no relief at all. But after being off for 3 days it's enough to stop my stomach from roiling, and gets me through work.

I have come to realize that "just clearing my plate" for a week or so is never going to happen for me. Yes, I could claim I was deathly ill and not work for a week, but my kids still need me. Over the week-end while I was laying on my couch miserable, and my kids thought I was sick and were taking care of themselves as much as possible, my daughter knocked a jar out of the cabinet and it shattered not one but three glasses on the counter. Guess who had to get up and deal with it? Even if your kids are older they still need to be taken care of.

So yes, I wish I had just bitten the bullet and gotten through this thing already. But that's just not happening for me. So I have to just believe I will get there. And you will, too.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 11:13 pm 
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Don't be angry guys.

Despite the worries, you are still actually moving forward!

1mg is a relatively high dose to jump off still, and basically if you start taking less and less doses every few days, you're essentially doing a really rapid taper down lower so when you do actually jump off, it will be less intense.

When docs taper people off dependence causing drugs, towards the end they often recommend you take a low dose every 2 or 3 days.

Instead of considering this 'failure', look at is as a continuation of your taper, and you should be proud (and vigilant) that you're still moving in the right direction.


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