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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:59 pm 
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Thank you so much for all of your help! You have really helped me talk with confidence to my son about suboxone. I will encourage him to come on here for sure but that will be his call. For those of you that follow my blog, you will notice that I have made no mention of the Suboxone...mainly because I don't enjoy feeling judged. I am not going to hide it at all and will be forth coming with any questions people might have about it but I am not going to focus on it in my blog, which in a way is kind of sad. I feel like some people think I am an idiot for being happy that my son is taking Suboxone. BUT I can see what it does for him, I can see that it as close to normal as he can get and that is a GREAT thing...if you know what I mean?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:48 pm 
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.....and some people don't know what they are talking about :)

In my opinion, any mother who isn't proud and/happy for their son when they have an opportunity to watch them change their lives and be successful and LIVE instead of watching them die; well....they probably have their head in the wrong place and shouldn't be a mother to begin with.

You are only doing, thinking, and feeling what a good mom would. He is lucky to have a mom who cares so much and who is so understanding.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:32 am 
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Hi Madyson!

I'll post here what I won't post to you on the blog. I pray you are at peace.

Most doctors, especially those who work with suboxone, all tell us this is an opiate disease - remember it is a disease!

It appears the common approach is roughly analogous to Type II diabetes first - which they believe you can control with supplemental insulin, diet and exercise and monitoring. And ultimate life change will lead to a taper or no need for the insulin. And for some that may be right!

For others, the disease is like Type I diabetes, which is also a lack of insulin, but is chronic in nature. Still, initially the treatment is the same in both - monitor, and supplement.

Of course the big difference is that Type I diabetes no longer have a working pancreas - so there is no chance of stopping insulin.

This is a not the best analogy in the world, but it gives folks who don't think of opiate disease as a DISEASE something to think about. Nobody I know of would deny insulin to either category - and would of course expect Type I folks to be on forever.

I am hopeful that I am in the Type II category - but I DON'T KNOW... can I monitor, get other help, and get off suboxone and not relapse? I hope so .

I hope that for your son too. BUT, if we don't have that luxury. If we are Type I comparable - then we use suboxone and other methods to live a life worth living!

That's the point of this post for you. Outcomes! If he is on legal suboxone -- how is he doing? Is he earning back trust - inch by inch? If he stays 'like he is now' what will a year from now look like?... The outcome of this is what matters - forget what others think.

Over time, I believe the disease concept will slowly become better understood. Until then, we do indeed need to stay anonymous and leave out certain parts in general conversations. I know I do - and there is no shame in it.

Simply ignorance. I am so happy for you, and I hope you will continue to stay part of this community - as you provide such a great perspective for us! You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 2:57 am 
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i can believe your husband would withhold treatment from your son, for selfish reasons


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:14 pm 
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Fallenangel003 wrote:
i can believe your husband would withhold treatment from your son, for selfish reasons
...then again maybe he was right all along.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:25 pm 
What do you mean, "maybe he was right all along?"


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:49 pm 
Nevermind. I read your other post.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:21 pm 
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Just a quick update...J got himself into a whole lot of trouble. Then a week later he got accepted to a very good competitive college, that we didn't think he had a chance in hell getting into. He has gone back on Suboxone again. He is a very sick young man, who wants to change his life but keeps making VERY bad decisions. He now has no car, no phone and unclear future that may include jail. I am so sad but for right now he is not using and I am grateful for that. Suboxone will only work if you change other things in your life. Please remember that for all of you who are starting new lives with Suboxone.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:56 pm 
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Madyson, I'm so sorry to hear things aren't going well. I think it's fair to say you've done everything possible to help. Not that it makes it any easier to bear a situation like this. And you're so right about needing something more than Suboxone to get to a healthy place of recovery. That reminder is always important.
How are YOU doing with everything? How are things at home? (If I may ask - I know it's been strained.) I hope you're OK and are taking care of yourself. We're still here for you.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 9:19 pm 
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hatmaker510 wrote:
Madyson, I'm so sorry to hear things aren't going well. I think it's fair to say you've done everything possible to help. Not that it makes it any easier to bear a situation like this. And you're so right about needing something more than Suboxone to get to a healthy place of recovery. That reminder is always important.
How are YOU doing with everything? How are things at home? (If I may ask - I know it's been strained.) I hope you're OK and are taking care of yourself. We're still here for you.


Thanks hatmaker...things are hard for us all right now. Why does sobriety not necessarily equal happiness? Even when he is not using he makes poor decisions, like sleeping late into the day. I have gone to one nar-anon meeting and an al-anon meeting(because there are not many nar-anon meetings in my area) and it was very comforting. I will go back I think. God knows nothing else I am doing is working so maybe I just need to learn to focus on the rest of my family. They need me too. I have 3 other children the youngest being 6 years old...they see and hear so much. Very sad.


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 11:27 pm 
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Guess what...J seems to be back on track. I have refused to actually utter these words on my blog because each time I do disaster strikes but he has been taking Suboxone again and he seems actually his lovely charming handsome self. Do you think it is at all possible to be in recovery and just take Suboxone with no other program in place? He seems sincere and eager. Jail looming darkly overhead is probably pretty motivating too. I am grasping for some hope here so if you have any please freely give some. On the other hand right now I am just not ready to hear any doom and gloom k? Things are still kind of chaotic here but better because he is clean.


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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 3:29 pm 
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Hey Madyson -

I am so glad you posted this update! You sure have been through doom and gloom.

Maybe I can shed some light on this latest development. I hope things haven't spun out of control by the time you read this. If so, I am sorry.

When I was in active addiction, speaking for myself only here (opinion). My thinking is much different on suboxone than when I was drug seeking every 4 hours.

I know it is hard to explain, but easy to see. You say - he is 'himself' when he is on suboxone - so can he be doing OK without any other support (I think you mean 12 step program or therapy?)?

I suspect that you would be surprised to find how many people that are on suboxone that are EXACTLY in that boat. You are here on a support forum, as am I. Still with ALL the members we have - if you take every doctor, nationwide, who can prescribe suboxone - and up to 200 patients each - this forum and all like it - don't touch the number of people being treated.

Everyone deals with their addiction differently. Many people join here - with NO support system and say things like " I have been on suboxone for 1.5 years - and have had no cravings..."

Just that statement alone, tells you that the maintenance they are on meets their physical opiate needs. Also, without saying it, that statement implies they are thinking and feeling differently.

I guess my opinion is that there are probably many, many people who use suboxone to meet their needs with opiate withdrawal. All support (like this) really seem to play a CRITICAL role when the person decides to taper off or quit.

Again, there seems to be no perfect answer. I just want to state that it seems the longer someone thinks differently (as in me - training myself to take suboxone once a day), the better chance they have to change long term.

It might seem like a small thing to some, but changing from thinking in 4 hour blocks to not even remembering what it was like to think that way - is really a big change.

I hope this helps. Of course J. can screw all of this up, but you asked if it was possible to be on suboxone without other stuff. I must say there are lots of people who do just that. I would not take a bet, though, how it would go if he was to quit suboxone or opiates without support.

--LD


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 Post subject: get on subs
PostPosted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 6:32 pm 
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I sent u a pm. I hope u got it. But get him on the subs right away. Have your husband talk to a adiction specialost. Its his only hope. I struggled for ten years on opiates. 5 rehabs and ten outpatients didn't work. Not even jail time for fake scripts for oxys. The subs saved my life. I put my parents and wife and family through hell. After a year of being on suboxone I got my life back. My mom giives me a hug everyday and says thank you foe giving me my son back. I started at your sons age. And I'm 31 now. Don't wait that long. It wull be a living hell. Get on it now. Yoou don't want to go through wht my mom did. Rehabs, jail, relapse after relapse. Start subs now. With in a day or two u will see that son of yours normal and back and you will feel like weight lifted off your shouldwrs. Like I said email me if u need some answers. I'm herer to help. Sounds lie my story. Vitoorlando23@gmail.com. stay strong. and get your HUSBAND convinced. Like now. Or your son will just end up the wway I did for ten years. I never felt better in my life. I'm on 2 eight milg a day for a year now.my whole life is normal again. Best feeling ever. And believe me when I say suboxone is the only thing that will work. Please please please listen to this advice.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:29 pm 
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Vito - it's nice of you to try to help, but her post is over four months old. This ship has sailed. Don't forget to check the date of the post. A lot of people come and go and often times posts can be very old. Just FYI.

By the way, her son did end up getting on Suboxone but it still has been pretty difficult for everyone involved. She has a blog that she continues to update even though she has not posted here in many months.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:10 pm 
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He is currently on Suboxone and seems to be doing well, except for all the drama. He appears to be clean since August when he had a relapse that actually put me in the hospital from all the stress. He no longer lives at home but each time I see him he looks good. His schedule is still upside down and he is not working. He lives with his girl friend now and with the help of Obama he is still able to collect unemployment. He is also still dealing with legal issues. I have hope but I am very realistic. My brilliant son who went to a great university on scholarship is gone. In it's place is this fragile addict who is trying to recover but is not in any kind of program...so I wait and I pray a lot. You can follow my blog if you like just go to www.madyson007.wordpress.com . I do think Suboxone is a miraculous drug for those who use it in conjunction with a program, I have hope he will find the second part of that equation very soon because his life depends on it. I do not talk about Suboxone much on my blog. It is still very controversial in the general addiction community and I no longer feel comfortable defending it or not, depending on the day and where I am at with my son.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 8:09 pm 
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I haven't really posted in a very long time so I thought I would give an update...J is doing really well. He has been clean since January. He took Naltraxone for three months and then decided he was ready to stop. It was much easier than when he stopped taking Suboxone. PAWS symptoms were minimal. I was thinking that maybe Naltraxone occupying as opposed to stimulating those receptors makes it a gentler way to stop. I also wanted to add that J may be one of those crazy lucky ones who survived weaning off Suboxone without serious side effects. He definitely had a serious case of flue like symptoms for 4 or 5 days but almost nothing after that.

J had a job but recently lost it. Looking for another job will be a struggle without a license. He has friends, is paying bills and fines and in general just looking good and feeling normal. My heart stops every time I write something like that. I have tremendous hope for my son...something I haven't been feeling for a long time. His bad choices have cost him dearly and will effect the rest of his life but he is working hard to dig himself out.

Things are far from perfect but hope and faith are going strong and for that I am very grateful.

If you want the full story you can visit my blog "A Mom's Serious Blunder" at madyson007.wordpress.com


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2015 12:59 am 
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:arrow: :arrow: :arrow: UPDATE: My son decided to help him self. He tried it his way and failed many many times... I guess he realized that he was most successful when he was on Suboxone. A little more than a year ago he decided that he was ready to try again. Guess what? Suboxone will work if you want it too...go figure? Here we are 5 years later right back where we started but this time my son has decided he wants to remain sober more than he wants to do opiates. Suboxone helps strengthen his resolve to remain sober. Screw all the people who think Suboxone is trading one drug for another. When my son is on suboxone he is the person I have loved all my life...the normal one not the alien that inhabits his body when using. How anyone can say that Sub's are a bad choice has never watched a loved one suffer the hell of addiction. Things are not perfect and there have been 1 or 2 times I think he may have relapsed but if he did...he didn't like it and got right back on track. He works 40-50 hours a week...has a wonderful girlfriend. I am proud. I don't think I will ever feel like addiction is behind us but I feel confident that as long as he wants sobriety Suboxone will be there to assist him in his journey to recovery. Praying that all addicts find what works for them...


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2015 1:06 pm 
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Thank you Madyson for this update and happy to see your son is back on track. I saw this post and went back and read the complete thread.

Yes, Sub works. Period. Ive had my battles with "thoses" who do not believe in it or do not call sub recovery "recovery".

It would be wonderful if the world of opiate addiction could become drug free, but this just isnt going to happen. Ive seen with my own eyes what can happen when shamed or judged off this medication. We lost a girl here locally yday. No she wasnt on subs, if she was she d be alive today more than likely. There are many ways to recover, but this one med can insure that the chances of a new life are possable.

Glad your son ,now 5 years old, is alive and well and doing Well.. ill be checking out your blog today. And your a good mom Madyson!!

Razor57. 4 1/2 years Clean Enough!..


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 7:05 am 
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Mady, I haven't read your entire thread but I get the impression we have had similar journeys. After more than 10 years of hell my son turned a corner 4 years ago and started using sub properly. 17 months ago he became a father & that rocked his world. Never give up hope. Sounds like your son has turned that corner. So good to hear!


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