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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 8:31 pm 
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Hi Razor,

Yeah, that makes sense and i actually had no idea that's what the nalaxone is for - but it's most definitely a comfort.

I also think I'm a little scared that one day I'll be off subs.

My doctor is moving his practice which is another reason why he wants me to just chill on 2mgs until November, when he is established in his new practice and i just need to get a referral to see him. He said that after I've done the 8 weeks of tablets on bupe, if i feel like I'll use or if I'm not feeling well, I can just go back to 2mgs again. Which seems odd to me, the fact that I'd put my body and hopes into getting off suboxone when he's said going back onto subs might just have to do.

I have mixed feelings, i suppose he said this so i wouldn't freak out and think I'm cut off forever if i don't succeed, but also kind of feel like he's waiting for me to fail at the end of the 8 week bupe reduction and offering me a way out already - which doesn't fill me with confidence.

Anyway, 2mgs is suiting me fine for the moment and maybe i really do just need to chill, not be so hard on myself and just give myself a break for a month.

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 4:00 pm 
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Hiya,

Saw my doc yesterday and told him I've made a decision to move forward and have created a date where i will begin to taper from 2mgs!

He seemed quite happy with this which was comforting.

I'll begin decreasing at the end of November and over the Christmas holidays I've organised annual leave for 3 weeks and will come completely off bupe by the beginning of January.

I feel so positive about this! I know that I'll be coming to this site more regularly when i begin to taper as this is a safe place where we can be honest, find information, seek advice and prepare ourselves for what's to come!

Very happy and excited!

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:34 pm 
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That's great news for you manz! I hope that everything works out well during your taper.

Amy

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2016 1:44 am 
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Well that's wonderful to hear. I'll be looking forward to seeing some more post from you on your taper. And as you already know, we will be here for you every step of the way. Have a great night Manz.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:04 pm 
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Morning!
So I'm definitely stable at 2mgs at the moment. Feeling good.
I begin to taper Saturday and have been almost obsessing about it - I'm very nervous, been watching youtube clips of people detoxing from sub - which was a really bad idea. They say pre-warned is to be prepared but some of those clips scare the hell out of me!
I'm planning to only take 1.6mgs of bupe for a few Saturdays until I run out of my 2's at home and then mid December I'll stay on 1.6 until Christmas - so I can be pleasant with my family on the day. After Christmas, ill decrease to 1.2mgs for 4 days, .8mgs for 4 days, .4mgs for 4 days and then .2mgs for a couple of days.
I've then got about 10 days off work to detox (so scared) and all going well, ill be back at work mid January.

I know a slow taper is the best but there are only certain times of the year I can have time off work, so this fairly fast taper is the plan.

I'm anxious! But I've begun preparing for the detox, got fish oils, panadol for any head aches or pain, got my antidepressants - I've just got to really get in the right mind set - I feel this is the key! I've also made a list of things I can do if I have cravings or feel vulnerable.

I am going to do this!

Will keep writing as my journey continues.

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:11 am 
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Oh Lord, I could only imagine the horror stories in those YouTube videos! Stay away lol! :)

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:41 pm 
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Yesterday I had my first dose of 1.6mgs, I've gone back to 2mgs for the rest of the week, then 1.6mgs next Saturday.

After yesterday I'm thinking about alternating between 1.6 and 2 for a few days before i stay on 1.6mgs and continue to decrease over xmas.

It's not that it was unpleasant and I realise that I would not have felt real change in a day but people around me noticed I was different, my mum in particular was worrying about me which in turn worries me. I think my mood was just a little depressed, I still went to muay thia and felt good for doing it! But gee, I have a feeling workouts are about to get a lot harder!

Also, don't know if it was just in my mind, but i didn't crave sugar as much as normal. Could be that it was just a warm day and didn't feel like all the junk.

My head is already playing games but I know I'm ready, I've kept saying the serenity prayer over and over to help me understand where i want to be, how i can do it and what i can and can't manage.

And I'm not watching YouTube clips of people detoxing from suboxone any more! Thanks jennjenn for your comment - I will stay away!

Hope everyone is doing well :)

Manz


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:57 am 
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U know what? When I was in rehab (before my suboxone treatment) and I was completely off everything, I found that one of the only things that made me feel better was saying the serenity prayer over and over in my head. In my room at the rehab, above my bed, there was a picture frame with the serenity prayer in it. Every single night I went to sleep I said it over and over. It was like the only thing that made sense and made me feel a little bit of hope. Even today, I have it in a frame on my nightstand (found it in a frame at an estate sale ironically lol). It does help. U can do this, if u think ur ready then ur ready ♡

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:03 pm 
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Manz, I have read your posts and I just wanted to say thank you for posting! I am very scared to even taper from 12mgs to 10mgs so your thread has given me some hope and comfort that I will one day be ready. You got this!


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:40 am 
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Hi HTOWN,

Wow, thanks for reading and I'm so happy that i could help and give you hope! I'll re-read your post as I'm decreasing further to help me stay strong.

I feel like it's always going to be scary decreasing and our minds play tricks on us too!

Everyone is different but when i went from 12 to 10 I felt like I wanted to move more and got into muay thia boxing (which i need to do more often so I'm fit enough to continue when I'm off everything). I had a few headaches and cold symptoms but I think it passed fairly quickly.

You can do it HTOWN! If you're ready (and going back to the serenity prayer: slightly adapted version) if you have accepted things you can not change, if you have the strength to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference, you will succeed!

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 6:14 am 
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Hi all,

Not much to report at this stage, I'm alternating 1.6mgs of subutex and 2mgs of suboxone every day. I thought it would be tougher but so far so good - it's only been a few days though.

I've found that if I'm fully immersed in something i forget all about any anxiety or discomfort i might have re: decrease and how it might feel.

I'll keep writing, the serenity prayer really is helping - something good that came out of my time in NA (wasn't for me at that point but never say never right).

Hope everyone is good!

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 8:33 pm 
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Hi manz, good job on your taper. keep on keeping on and post here regularly, ok. Wishing you the best.--Bamagirl--


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 9:22 pm 
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I was really frightened of moving down from 2mgs but it was all head games. The anxiety of doing the taper has been worse than the actual taper so far.

I will definitely keep posting. I have 3 weeks off work where I'll probably be posting a lot.

:)

Manz


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:01 am 
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I have read that a lot, ppl more stressed out over thinking about tapering and once u start, it turns out to be a lot worse in ur mind than in real time. Good luck!

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 7:39 pm 
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Glad to hear it. ---Bamagirl


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2016 4:54 pm 
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Hi All,

So everything was going ok until a few days ago when I got a "man flu" - do you guys use that term in the US?

Basically I'm a girl (woman) with a little cold but also feel like i want to crawl into bed and sleep (and in the case of man flu - die LOL). I feel like a big sook because I have had 2 days off work for a cold! I used to be able to work through colds but the entire time I've been on suboxone I don't think I've had a cold, so yeah, I'm not actually feeling that bad, just really blocked up nose and coughing up green icky stuff too - "better out than in" mum always said! Lol! I've got a cough and a sore throat (probs from the cough!).

I'm staying at 1.6mgs for another week, who would have thought decreasing by .4mg would have this effect!

I saw my doctor last night. He was happy with my progress, believes I'm ready to move off suboxone and says he thinks my plan is a good, solid plan! Which I liked hearing - I showed him my entire regime of cutting down that i have saved in my phone, talked to him about the people i can contact if things get tough and the things i can do.

Another thing I've noticed is that I'm smelling things a lot more (despite the blocked up nose) could that be in my head too? Who knows!

I'm really thankful that next week i only have to work 3 days and then I'm on holidays for several weeks! I can do this!

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2016 7:40 pm 
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I remember when I would get sick, a cold, flu and even the horribly dreadful stomach bug! I didn't like it of course but I could absolutely sick it up and deal with it really well. Now.....lol no way, I fall to pieces if I get sick. I don't understand it and I've noticed it after I stopped using pills. I don't know how to deal with feeling rough lol, it is very weird. I've always just assumed that it's where I was numb for so long and now that I'm not, I've forgotten how to deal with sickness. I've definitely heard a lot of ppl talk about that so I hope it's kinda normal :)

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:10 am 
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Thanks for your reply JennJenn, I was just thinking - how do i really tell if I'm sick or if i have a cold or withdrawal symptoms LOL! Its just past 5.30pm here and I've gotten worse throughout the day, so I'm thinking maybe withdrawal? Could even be hayfever - I have no clue!

Gee, it's good to hear that someone else understands!

I'm trying to decide if I can go to my personal training tomorrow - because if it's withdrawal, it will be good for me, if it's the flu /man cold - it can't be good right?

I had an afternoon nap today which i needed.

Anyway, thanks again jennjenn. I'll post again soon :)

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 10:52 pm 
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So i still have the cold today, I think it might be getting better - can't really tell at this stage.

I didn't go to muay thia, but then i think i needed a rest day. I just need to make sure i do some exercise at some point!

I'm eating but not really that into it - so I think my appetite has decreased a little.

Still on 1.6mgs for another 4 days. Then down to 1.2mgs - that's the plan!

Manz :)


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:48 pm 
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My man flu has been downgraded to a cold everyone! Just a cold, everything is ok again LOL! Nothing to see here!

In a few days I'll go to 1mg (half a sub strip) and take a .4mg subutex tablet to work with me just in case i need it.

I'll keep updating :)

I had my brother, sister in law and my almost 2 year old niece over to my house for tea and cake today - it was so lovely! We all had colds which made me feel better HA HA! My family mean the world to me!

Life is good :)

Manz


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