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 Post subject: Debilitating Depression
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:26 pm 
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After 10 years of opiate useage, Prescribed Oxy mostly mixed with

any other opiate I could get my hands on including H I sought

help with Suboxone.


I attended an inpatient detox where I took subs for 3 days then none at all.

Needless to say within a week of being out the PAWS kicked my butt. I relapsed soon after.

That's when I first went on long term Suboxone therapy. I did great for 6 months but I then relapsed hard on heroin.

I used heroin daily from November 2012 thru the beginning of May when I detoxed myself using subs and Xanax. It was a fairly painless detox as far as detox's go.


Since May the longest I've gone without going back to heroin is 10-11 days tops. I HATE to say it but I only feel good/ normal when I'm on the dope.

I now have 9 days off heroin and am struggling. I take 8 to 16 mg's of suboxone a day, XANAX 2 mg's twice daily and Ambien


The depression I feel is a horrible feeling. Self loathing, anti social behavior--unable to relate to ANYONE and suicidal thoughts are overwhelming.


My last detox was HORRIBLE!! It seems the more you relapse and then switch back to subs, the harder it becomes.



I just had to type this out.............I've been a drug abuser for 35+ years and I know I have untreated mental illness. I have an appointment with my shrink in September and I'm going to ask him to put me on an antidepressant.

Can anyone who can relate to my addiction recommend an antidepressant that would help me??


I hate saying it but I only feel GOOD on heroin


Thanks for reading my post


Justin


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 10:11 am 
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Hi Justin,

Unfortunately, I think your story sounds all too common for those of us who struggle through long time addiction. It's so hard to deal with the substance abuse when there are other factors to complicate it, such as underlying mental issues.

I'm not sure that I can recommend an anti-depressant that would be right for you, but I'm currently taking Pristiq. It seems to help me with my anxiety and depression alot...although I would say my issues are pretty mild in comparison to some. I would suggest you look at some posts by TeeJay on here. He is a long time member who has dealt with some pretty serious bi-polar issues and H addiction. I'm sure you could gain a wealth of knowledge from his posts on different issues about these topics.

Maybe he will see this post and comment for you?

I hope you get some help from your appointment in September. Gosh, it sure does sound like a long time to have to wait when you are dealing with such serious issues! Stay safe!

Q

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 9:12 pm 
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Thanks h-gal for the encouraging words.

A friend of mine suggested I smoke some weed


I suppose it can't hurt.

I realize after 11-12 years of opiate abuse and 16 years of cocaine abuse b4 that tends to fry the brain's receptors.


I use to have a great love of life but now everyday is just BLAH
I've lost every passion I use to enjoy
That's what hurts the most, The not giving a shit about anything, not wanting to do the activities I use to love like making music or golfing ECT.

I'm suppose to get the weed next week............I pray it elevates my mood


Regards,

J


PS

I've read most of the posts on this forum. I've learned quite a bit


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 9:37 am 
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Hiya,

I don't think anyone can advise an antidepressants because different ones work for different people. I'm on citralopram (celexa) 40mg. Your doctor will prescribe what s/he think is best.

I can't really comment on weed because I've never smoked it or even normal cigerette. Please don't don't think I'm judging as I would not do that but by what I've read on these forums weed can be psychologically addicting n would you really want the possibility of replacing one addiction with another? I'm not trying to be mean it's just you've been through a lot n don't want any more problems. The doctor willl help you. In the UK we see the doctor n they prescribe what is called SSRIs but as I said above everyone is different n different meds will affect different people.

Hope things get better for you soon

Evey x

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Last edited by Eveleivibe on Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 11:38 am 
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The weed might help, it might not. I have had varying results in that area. It's not actually what I would recommend, but if you think it will put in a better state of mind, then go for it. I wish you the best. You're right about the brain's receptors. It does take them a while to get firing the way we'd like again.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 6:47 pm 
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Weed can worsen existing mental health problems and create new ones such as paranoia and of course, addiction! Dont go there. Get advice at your appointment, good luck.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:53 pm 
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Mea Culpa wrote:
Weed can worsen existing mental health problems and create new ones such as paranoia


I can attest to this... Marijuana is a HUGE no bueno for someone with depression and/or anxiety issues. It tends to increase them, a hundred fold. In my case anyway.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:24 pm 
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You mentioned that you did " great for 6 months, then relapsed on H" It seems to me that you could give long term sub maintenance a shot. Take your time and get to the right dose for you. I have read alot about people here doing exactly that. Using sub long term to get ones life back in order. The sub could give you that fighting chance to get your life back. I know that seems hard to believe, yet I have read many stories with people like yourself with long term addiction and mental health issues. Please look in to going back to long term sub use, using more H and other narcotics just will land you in more pain, in my opinion. Take care. P.S.- The suboxone in itself, could possibly help with your depression, at the right dose. I am not a doctor, just my opinion. Please get some good advice.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 10:11 pm 
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How are you doing? Whats up? Hopefully everything is ok? Let us know if we can help.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 2:06 pm 
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someone told me some time ago: "You've been getting high for some time, you're gonna suffer in SOME way" - "just accept that you're gonna suffer for some time until your body adjusts to being totally drug free, do the mental work to go thru it & it will be over in its own time" .....


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 2:12 pm 
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justin_another_junky wrote:
A friend of mine suggested I smoke some weed ... I suppose it can't hurt ... I'm suppose to get the weed next week............I pray it elevates my mood


If you don't mind my saying I think that's one of the WORST things you could do. Weed is addictive as well, you'll only wind up STILL in the grips of your addiction, you will NOT be clean & eventually it very well may lead you right back to heroin.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 4:06 pm 
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Reading your story I will share what I think would be a good route for you. I'm one of the few people who thinks suboxone is not for addicts who have a serious addiction like yours. It's just not enough to satisfy your receptors and take away cravings and withdrawal symptoms. I personally believe with the amount of H you take that methadone would be the only thing that can give you a chance at being clean. It did wonders for me and I think this might be your best shot at having a drug freelife style. You have nothing to lose as we can see suboxone just isn't working so why not try something new? As of the mental health meds I think your best bet is to wait and see what the DR says.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 5:14 pm 
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Bboy42287 wrote:
Reading your story I will share what I think would be a good route for you. I'm one of the few people who thinks suboxone is not for addicts who have a serious addiction like yours. It's just not enough to satisfy your receptors and take away cravings and withdrawal symptoms. I personally believe with the amount of H you take that methadone would be the only thing that can give you a chance at being clean. It did wonders for me and I think this might be your best shot at having a drug freelife style. You have nothing to lose as we can see suboxone just isn't working so why not try something new? As of the mental health meds I think your best bet is to wait and see what the DR says.



I totally agree with you. Suboxone isn't strong enough in some cases. I had to do 2 years of methadone first, to get myself out of the heroin scene, before I was able to fully switch over to subs.. By that time, I had moved across the country and had started living a better life free from any temptations. Suboxone eventually worked even better for me than methadone, though, once I adjusted. Going straight from H to suboxone was really tough for me. I still wanted to use and didn't feel right.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 12:18 pm 
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I have tried many anti-depressants and none really worked for me until Abilify. I was on Cymbalta and it was/is working a little, but when my doctor added the Abilify things really changed. Maybe you could research it a little or ask your doctor about it? It has worked for me more than anything else I've taken and my doctor said it's fine to take along with my Subutex. I hope this helps.


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