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PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:26 pm 
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Hi, I am new to posting, been lurking for a while. Here is my story....sorry so long....

My last dose of Sub was 7/4, after a 6 year run. 45 days clean off any opiate is the longest I’ve made it in 10 years. A brief history, I started taking vics on weekends, then every day, same old story. Progressed to percs, OC’s, what ever could get my hands on just to be well. At the end, I was taking 20-30 10/325 vics a day just to feel normal. Ahhhh, just thinking of that makes me cringe. Anyhow, I had basically ruined all my relationships with friends, my family stuck by me, and helped me get help. I started Sub 6/06, and really didn’t know much about the drug. I just knew that I couldn’t quit the pills CT. The longest I made was 30 days clean. Alas, I started down my long Sub road. Was prescribed 8 mgs, puked my guts out that first night, was taken down to 6 mgs, which was good for me. Always too scared to stop. Tried tapering, never worked for me. Got down to 4 mgs orally, never lower. And that’s where I stayed until May of this year.

Finally got fed up with it all. Decided I wanted off. Didn’t discuss with my Dr, just made up my mind to do it on my own. So got down to my last 10 8mg Subs, and decided to taper off. This is what I did. Now some might say/think this is really bad, but it worked for me. I was able to do 2 mgs daily, snorting. I had previously only taken my Sub orally, until I read on a forum about snorting, and needing way less, etc. Well, it worked for me. Was able to do 2 mgs daily, and was ok. Did that for about a month, then went to 1 mg for about 3 weeks, and finally .05 mgs for a week or so, and was done. No more Subs, didn’t want to go back to Dr. Once down to 1 mgs and less, I was in mild w/d, but was ok.

Post Sub, the first 2 weeks weren’t fun, insomnia, RLS, sweating, severe back pain, everyone knows the drill. After that, my sleeping got better, appetite came back with a vengance. Fast forward to now, I sleep well, only waking up once a night, this was always my hardest thing in w/d. Pain is gone. I still sweat, but live in south TX where it’s hot as hell, so oh well. Mind you, I didn’t have any “comfort meds” besides Ibuprofen & Tylenol PM’s. IDK about PAWS, don’t feel depressed, just a general lack of motivation, energy sometimes. But then I just get up, stay busy, power through it.

Still think about Sub every day, no joke. Everyone knows that little demon voice in your head, telling you how much funner life would be with it. But have managed to tell him no. I don’t ever want to have to kick Sub again, it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. That is what I tell myself every day, and so far it has worked. Just wanted to tell my story. It helps to get it out, as you guys know exactly what I am going through. IMO, a positive attitude is key. Know that you can do anything you put your mind to. It’s scary as f*^k, painful, messy, but doable. Peace.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:37 pm 
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Hello and congrats on getting off of Suboxone and 45 days clean. That is awesome!

I'm 3 years off and I can honestly say that I never think about wanting it anymore. I just feel normal. Keep up with your positive attitude (getting up and pushing through it when you feel that lack of motivation is great) and keep moving forward, learning new ways to cope with the things that trigger your cravings, etc. and you should be fine.

Are you doing anything recovery related? I don't go to meetings or therapy anymore but I meditate a lot and I hang around here which seems to help.

Welcome to the forum and best of luck to you.

_________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

-Jack Kornfield


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 Post subject: Thanks!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:50 pm 
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Thanks for the kind words. Wow, 3 years! That is awesome! Congrats. My 45 days sometimes feels like 3 years, but I'll take it for sure. :)

As for the recovery stuff, no 12 step, no meetings, sponsors, etc. I had tried those in the past, meetings, one on one's with drug counselor, never was for me. I just never felt like I fitted in, or was ready to stop, and no matter what anyone said, I wasn't ready to stop. I am not knocking it at all, just didn't appeal/work for me. The only thing is the one day at a time, that is the best advice. And forums like this, where you can read about others experiences.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:48 pm 
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Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2012 8:39 pm
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Hey casilibreQ
I have been seeing so much negativity lately that I had to search for positivity. Luckily your post is of help for me. It's nice to see another person feeling good after being off. You, diary, ladder, Romeo, etc all have given me the hope I need. I'm still only in day 6 though but I'm looking to get where you are, then where diary is.

I hope you're still doing well. If you want to talk more please private message me. I'm here for you as a friend. I swear I mean that. Message me even if it's just to chat about things not related to recovery/suboxone.

Good luck in the rest of your journey and continue staying motivated.

Friend
-RJ


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