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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:07 pm 
:D :D Heyllo everyone. I'm doing it. It feels like everyday is another notch on the belt, another patch on the jacket or another number on the rolladock. haha. I have never had much interest in tracking progress until now. Each day i'm clean off of suboxone , i celebrate a small victory inside me. Now, if i can only feel 100% again. To be honest....if i had to put a number on how i feel currently, I would say, 3 months into it I'm at 70%.

Here is something you hear all the time from other people in recovery. Stay positive. You hear it, because people want to help you and they are telling you what worked for them. It is the only thing keeping me progressively getting better each day. STAY CHEERY! Preception is reality. What I found works is everytime I get cranky/moody and think or say a bad thought or negative thing.... I make myself say as many things about the subject as i can that are positive. Let's say I'm at work and i think to myself.....damn i'm energyless and this day is draggin'. I'll then follow up with the thought, "At least I have a job right now in this economy.... and oh yea, at least i'm not on suboxone anymore!!'' Also what fuels me to continue to keep fighting the recovery fight is that if i can get off this nasty narcotic than I'm confident in any task i decide to take on. Right now , however, Sure i feel i can take on many tasks....but the motovation that leads up to starting it is lacking, still. I guess thats the PAWS mother fu---er.

Boy oh boy, it feels like i wasted almost 5 years of my life from suboxone. But now, since i'm off and want to stay off forever, it makes me realize how great life can be. Not saying I'm the happiest person in the world right now,because i'm certainly not there yet. But, now I know i have my emotions to live again. a feeling of being free to enjoy things naturally...a very satisfying feeling.

I am still considering a 30 day rehab program for myself. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO NEVER TOUCH AN OPIATE AGAIN! I will do whatever is necessary. But, i have one question for anyone reading this. and that is.... Does health insurance cover REHAB Facility stays?? Also, if anyone knows any good rehabs for something like suboxone in the PA/ CENTRAL ATLANTIC AREA~!? Thanks to all.


Love yourself because you know who you are deep inside :D


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 2:21 pm 
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Hello my fellow Keystoner!! Congratulations! 3 months is great! I totally agree with you on the whole "perception is reality" bit. Too many people wonder why they are so depressed and feeling down in the dumps when there is no solid reason for it. That's why! Because they focus on it and it just makes it worse. Telling yourself all of the positives when you are feeling negative is actually something that CBT therapists use as a tool to teach their patients. You probably already know that! LOL

I'm glad you are slowly feeling better..70%, not too shabby. Everyday will get better from what I understand. 6 months is typical for that monster named PAWS. Even if it is from coming off of any other drug. PAWS in general lasts anywhere from6 months to a year. But can rear its ugly little head at any time during your addiction. That is why I think it also a brilliant idea for you to attend a rehab. Not many people that I've met are THAT committed to their recovery. They would do rehab in the beginning, sure. But 3 months clean AND THEN consider it??? Not too common. Good for you for having that kind of determination. That determination and your positive attitude will almost guarantee your recovery success!!

Best of luck to you on your journey. I am from PA (Eastern), but unfortunately don't know of any facilities off hand. I'm gonna google it later and see what I can find!

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:53 pm 
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Congrats on the 90 days. The hardest part is over; once you get past that 3 month wall you start to get some confidence and motivation back.

That said, I'm not sure an inpatient rehab would do you a whole lot of good. Most places pamper you and take care of all your responsibilities so that all you have to focus on is feeling better. Since you've been clean so long and you're well on your way towards feeling better, there's not a lot that a primary care facility could do for you. If you feel like you just need more support, then you can do an IOP (intensive outpatient) and go to that while you're still working. Or better yet, save your money and go to meetings. There's no suboxone anonymous that I'm aware of, but any type of 12 step meeting will accept you as long as you play by their rules (ie: call yourself an alcoholic at AA meetings).

Good luck with everything.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 7:16 pm 
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Effuzion wrote:
That said, I'm not sure an inpatient rehab would do you a whole lot of good. Most places pamper you and take care of all your responsibilities so that all you have to focus on is feeling better.


I'm of the same opinion these days. If you really wanna stay clean, do it on the outside. Do treatment and programs based in the real world. See a counsellor or do peer-support programs. Rehabs are really just a cotton wool environment.

Also, write a thread some time about how people can use heroin to get off Suboxone! That'd be awesome. Right up my alley.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:31 pm 
Hey thanks all. To the first message... i'm from east PA as well. Lancaster county actually.

To the second messager- i like that idea, it will allow me to save $$ and keep working. I am going to just frequent meetings.

Tearjerker- You must remember my older posts. Maybe i should write a post on how i got off suboxone by using heroin. Or, maybe not. Last time that was a disaster. People were not understanding my commiment and my desperate measures to finally quit suboxone, no matter what. Also, like i said , and you probably know this already. I never had a heroin addiction, so it was a gamble, yes, but i'm not on heroin or suboxone. Mission accomplished


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 11:15 pm 
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Glad to hear from you again,,,, good job man 8)


Keep fighting,,,,,,,,,,,you seem like you got a real positive attitude about it and that will take you miles :wink:

seriously, good job

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