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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:09 pm 
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Oh! That makes much more sense....glad you cleared that up for me!
:D


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:26 pm 
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Thank goodness for neurontin!!! Woo-Hoo!! :D

Glad you had a good vacation. Watching hapless tourists drilling street signs on their shiny new rented scooters is always high in entertainment value!! lol

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:32 pm 
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Sorry to hear about the latest injury, that's no fun. I was a couple weeks into my detox, back in august, when I ripped my toenail off in the middle of the night. I kicked the door jam in the dark. I thought I broke my toe. There was blood everywhere at about 3am. It was quite a scene and one I was not mentally prepared for. Nothing quite like being in withdrawals and having nails ripped out. LOL :shock:

Neurontin. I used this while WDing.. I wasn't sure how much it helped at the time, because I was miserable all the same, but when I read other people's WDing/ tapering stories, I start to think it saved my ass. I'm glad it's working for you!

Keep updating. (hugs)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:28 pm 
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I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the neurontin will keep on being your miracle cure! It sounds like this could make a huge difference in your quality of life and I'm happy you found it!

Amy

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 4:06 pm 
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phew....hi everyone :mrgreen:


can I just start off by saying that life is Fing insane? Holy shit! I really did have some armor protecting me when I was popping pills. Now, life's right in front of my face... enough to make me cross eyed!

I thank you guys for your replies, and apologize that I haven't replied sooner. I don't even know what the hell is going on/ happened for the past 8 months now. I think my brain is so scrambled from all of this and it needs some down time. some fricken rest! :shock: lol

Neurontin worked well for a little while. Now, warning to all; if you take Neurontin, pace yourself and be careful with it. I now have withdrawals from Neurontin in the middle of the night when it wears off. It is exactly like a benzo withdrawal with a tiny bit of an opiate withdrawal. So now I've got myself in a pickle. Done a lot of research on it and its a bit disturbing.

Its been 8 months since my last dose of suboxone. I feel like I don't even know who I am? I need to find myself, I feel like a 17 year old who's trying to figure themselves out :? lol

Thanks for listening to my rambling. I just needed some support and I know you guys are awesome and caring because most of you have been there and done that. ill tty guys later. hugs.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 4:58 pm 
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HEY, I remember you, you're that crazy chick, right? :lol:

Good to hear from you again!!

Yup, living life without a cushion between you and it takes some getting used to, but you can do it!! Just be patient with yourself and be kind to yourself.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting off Neurontin. Neurontin is a good wd med, it's just that it does have potential wd syndrome for some. Bites that you're one of the one's who got wd from it.

You're most certainly not the only one who felt like they were 17 again when getting off Suboxone (or opiates). I remember early on I used to compare my emotional maturity to that of a 12 year old girl!! But I've made tremendous progress, I feel like a 14 year old girl now, emotion wise!! :) J/K!! I feel very much back to who I should be.

Just keep hanging in there, it gets better, I promise!!

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 5:25 pm 
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(somehow I managed to post this on the wrong thread..)

Jen!!

So glad you've stopped by. I was just thinking about you the other day! I was kind of a mess (emotionally) between month 5 and 9, so I can relate a little bit. It's quite a ride and there are so many twists and turns. I hope you start to even out soon and that you visit us more often!

(hugs)


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 5:53 pm 
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AHH Romeo and Tiny.. You're good peoples. lol. *big hug*

Yup... this is quite the stage going on here in these months. Its pure emotional brain diarrhea and it just wont quit. Giving me a good battle. And I'm going to beat its ass. I don't want to socialize, and I've isolated myself for quite some time now. I'm starting to come around now.

Romeo.... When I was in some meetings, the addiction counselor said something that had always stuck with me, and especially applies now. He told us how the brain works when you start "using". When turning into an addict, you essentially stop developing or "growing up". So if you're 17 and start going buck nutty (like myself), is where I left off mentally to develop and gain coping skills, maturity, really everything. So now that I stopped using, I feel like im 17 emotionally. For Christ sake, if I knew what I know now, id bat all that crap away. sigh. Hey, it was a good ride I suppose. :|

hugs hugs hugs.. ttys :)

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:21 pm 
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Jennicole, it's so good to hear from you and get an update! I'm sorry that the neurontin didn't stay very helpful for very long.

I don't know what it's like to be living your life, but I do hope that things settle down for you and you start to feel like some things are normalizing. I imagine it's a bit frightening to feel like you don't know who you are. I don't remember the origins of your addiction, but I know that psychologists say that you stop growing emotionally when you start doing drugs. Maybe that's why you feel like you've regressed in age?

Keep talking to us and let us know how we can help.

Amy

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:47 pm 
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I don't remember who mentioned it to me, but I heard the exact same thing about drug use and it stunting one's emotional development. I, too, started into drugs at 17 and once off Suboxone, I felt woefully unequipped to handle day to day emotional situations, but I just put on a brave face and did the ol' fake it until you make it routine. Time and support from fantastic people helped me. "Growing up" won't happen overnight, but it does come with time and life experiences and having sensational people to help pick me up and talk to me when I crash hard has proven most valuable.

K, you know isolating is sometimes addict behavior, right? (shhhh, I do it too!!), but I've been making improvements in that area and one thing my addiction counselor kept reminding me over and over again is this; Progress, not Perfection. I just try to make progress and leave the whole perfection thing up to Amy (our awesome mod! :) )

For real, Jen.....be patient with yourself and Be Kind To Yourself!!!!

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 12:11 am 
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Jeez Romes, haven't you read my signature???

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:04 am 
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Couldn't keep the tears from my eyes while reading this, thank you! It hit home here, I am so doubtful right now. Can I really do this? Part of my identity both pre and during my addiction has been someone for others to lean on, a man that always wants to help, sensing the NEEDS/HURTS/DESIRES of others, offering an encouraging word, with an ability to think outside the box and humbly give a different perspective, always with a burning desire to FIX, but now its ME who NEEDS all of these things and more! I NEED, I WANT....HOW SELFISH!

Your story will be an inspiration for me today, thank you again!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:34 pm 
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Hey O.P. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing! I relate to how your withdrawls went SO MUCH! I don't know if you still get on here, or will even see this but reading your story helped give me the courage to comment on here. I seriously laughed so much while reading this! I'm on day 31. Still pushing through. I love that you just kept saying " but I'm doing it tho" that's how I've felt this last month, yeah it sucks, but I'm doing it! God bless and I hope your still doing good.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:56 pm 
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Glad you posted :)

I haven't been on in quite some time...but I received an email notification about your reply so I decided to check it out!

Way to go! Keep fighting the good fight.... lots of patients and give yourself lots of TLC. Hot baths, lots of tea. If you can, lots of massages. Music. If you can, try taking a walk and get fresh air. I found that a lot of homeopathic approaches help the best for withdrawals.

If you need any advice or just somewhere to express your feelings, feel more than welcome to share. Always here :) *hugs*

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