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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:12 pm 
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trying to keep this update thing goin for at least a month to document my first month off suboxone.. let me know if im wrong for doing it..

day 11
able to sit and relax and not have many uncomfortable times to much today. needed the immodium this morning though still. that was really the worst part of the day was about the first half hour because of a upset stomach. but i was able to fall asleep with the music going, got about 5 hours of sleep. played 2 rounds of disc golf (didnt do that good)... i think the hardest part of the day was when i drove past river downs a horse track that i used to stop at on the way home from the city to use and that was a big trigger for me to see that big parking lot.. the thought didnt last long though as i was with my sis, son, nephew and neice and they pretty much helped me (w/o realizing it) think about something else pretty quick.. then hit 2 meetings now im sittin here chillin watchn the NBA finals and cooking chicken teryaki subs with the wife.. cant wait to eat and o yea the heat is gonna win this series i know it..

hows everyones day goin?

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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 Post subject: Congratulations
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:05 pm 
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Hey rob i just wanted to congratulate you on your what 12 days now? 11? Youre almost over that physical hump! Clonidine is truly an amazing medication for opiate withdrawal. I went to detox and they kept me in there for only 7 days! My withdrawals kicked in on day 5 so they let me out when i was most vulnerable! It was nice to not "sleep" on a friggin plastic bed though. I jumped off from a high dose myself. 4 mg. i just couldnt stand how bad the suboxone was affecting my mood so i wanted it out of me ASAP! Its 106 days for me today and i still have shitty stressful days but normal people who arent addicts have those too so i shouldnt complain. Hot showers always helped me during withdrawal. I wish i had a hot tub during the whole ordeal id probably be sitting in that thing for the whole 2 weeks of withdrawal haha. Good luck with everything keep up the good work!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 7:38 pm 
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so true about the hot tub.. lol i have been day dreaming about one of those for about 2 weeks now. that is crazy that they would want you out of a detox after only 7 days espicailly with this stuff because i felt like the first 3 days was the easiest (sort of) but its so awesome to hear that you are over 100 days now. truly impressive man and i do appreciate hearing those things because it just continues to remind me that this is all very possible as long as i continue to put some effort into it.. i know how much efffort i put into getting high and as long as i put in at least half that effort into recovery than I am usually more than happy.

day 13 off of sub..
sorry for not posting yesterday if anyone has been keeping up with me, but yesterday was awesome as well as today.. sleep is still the biggest issue but i can feel it slowly improving and accepting that has been huge for me as i now realize that it is like that for pretty much everyone who has went through this and i know that it cant be bad forever.. the other hard part is usually about the first hour of the morning when my stomach is a little shaky but not anything i cant handle w/o the immodium the past two days. the one thing that remains constant for me is sitting in the house doing nothing = uncomfortable and using thoughts which sucks lol i use that whole play the tape all the way through method when i get those. the other thing that remains constant is going out and doing something wether it be walking, playing with the kids, disc golf, AA, NA whatever anything = relaxed and somewhat happy, even though the past couple days i have felt somewhat 'numb' in a way that i cant really describe its weird. but other than these things everything has been steadidly improving, it is amazzing how much just a little bit of time can help

rob

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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 Post subject: 2 weeks today
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 8:56 pm 
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day 14

feelin pretty dam ok lol.. some minor uncomfortable things and some wacky ass sleeping patterns. also that numb feeling is still here..overall day 14 has been good to me... its weird how much happier i am after i have been to a good meeting...

anyone still rockin with me here? wheres my new forum buddies at, i enjoy haering from you guys... sssuuuuuuuuup???

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:07 pm 
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Keep posting. I read I read!! You're inspiring me!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 3:04 am 
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Hi rob! Just wanted to say that reading your story was exactly what i needed today. Your progress and positive attitude are both amazing! I jumped 7 days ago from 4 mg and today was the worst so far. Although so far this withdrawal has been nothing compared to non sub withdrawals in the past. I'm just feeling extra tired, depressed, more temp issues and joint pain than the first 6 days. I'm not thinking of giving up or anything, it's just a reality check I guess. I've been doing well and so excited knowing that I am getting back to myself again but today reminded me that you can't cure a 2 year drug addiction in a week. Hope you are feeling good today and getting some sleep right now! Tomorrow is a new day and I'm more than excited to be starting it without meds. This short term discomfort will pass for both of us :)

- J


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:38 am 
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Rob and Blondie -

You are both doing awesome for sure! I know just how damn difficult this process can be and it most definitely gets better in time. Time seems to pass slowly, but then all of sudden you wake up and realize that weeks or months have passed and now everything is basically tolerable. Hang on and you'll be glad you did!

I still deal with slight depression, anxiety that comes and goes, sore joints and difficulty first thing in the morning, but I honestly think that a lot of it is just what was there before I started on opiates...in fact I know it was. I've changed my diet, exercise more and try to get outside often and go to meetings frequently. It pretty much takes all of these things for me to feel somewhat good (really good sometimes :D ) in mind, body and spirit and it continues to get better. Also, if you are physically able, nothing jumpstarts the feel good chemicals like a long run. This along with sunshine and sauna were the only things that worked for me early on.

Keep up the recovery strut! 8)


Blondie29 wrote:
This short term discomfort will pass for both of us :)

- J


WITHOUT A DOUBT.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:53 am 
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forgot to post yesterday.. sorry about that but day 15 for me was pretty descent.. my knees were aching like crazy but wasnt killing me or anything, just really annoying like wtf i'm 26 is this still part of w/d or am i already feeling the effects of all my general labor jobs.. naaa i refuse to beleive that its gotta be part of the fact that my body is repairing itself and this has to be a common thing.. also after many years of drug use i cant expect to feel normal after only 2 weeks right? then trying to fall asleep last night was also another annoying thing.. i was sleeping almost 5 hours a night the past week then regressed last night and got about 2.. insomnia is my worst enemy at this point (well my addict brain is) but the insomnia has me up thinking about some pretty ridiculous stuff, i am turning into a youtube junkie.. anyone out there know when there sleep actually got way better, if its 3 weeks or 3 months or whatever i just want to know?

anyways today is day 16 and i gotta say it has gotten better for me as far as that uncomfortable feeling goes and i go through spurts of motivation to do things and spurts of just wanting to be left the f alone... where is everyone else at, i know there is some people that have been through it and there is some people that pretty much started this journey of stopping right around the same time, i wanna hear where ya'll are at... post something for me

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:17 pm 
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hey rob! great job so far! gkad to hear your staying positive through to w/d process.

sry to tell you that sleep seems to be one of the last things to normalize for people whether they taper down nice and low, or just jump from high dose like you did. Its probably different for many people, but from all the stories i read..sleep seems to get better at a month or two months off.

Are you still taking clonidine to help you sleep? alot of people seem to really benefit sleep-wise from that med.

Keep on truckin dude, you kicking that wds ass!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:56 pm 
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yea, originally i thought that when they gave me 2 weeks woth (14 colondines .1 mgs) so thats what i posted but found out that night that it was only 1 week worth as i was to take 2 per day.. some reason i ended up with one left by yesterday morning and took it yesterday morning and could definatley tell a difference in not taking late before bed like i usually do so yea i guess i need to make another appoitment with the doctor and see if he is willing to write me another weeks worth at least because not sleeping really sucks a choad.. thanks for responding i was kind of expecting it to take a long time before my sleep returned to normal, so i guess ill just soldier on and keep looking forward to better days, i know they have to come some time..

Rob

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:35 pm 
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your right rob, better days ARE gonna come! From here on out things should keep getting better and better little by little. From all the stories i read people really seem to turn a corner week 3&4. (cant speak from expirence here cuz im still on sub, but i read alot of stories/tapers cuz i really want to be off someday)

A member on here "romeo" who i think has great advice and knowledge about stopping suboxone, tells people when they feel like there not making progress to look back to what they were feeling like a week ago, when you do that it seems like your able to notice a difference in how much better your feeling. So you being at 16 days look back to what you felt like on day 10 and i bet youve made alot of progress since then! Your gonna keep improving week by week month by month. Sometimes the progress you make is so little each day that it becomes hard to notice but when you look in terms of weeks you can really see how your improving.

i wish i had some advice to give you from expirence but, like i said im still on sub. I can only repeat helpful things i have read and researched. im gaining so much good info on this site, its like im building up my own little "toolbox" for my success when i do quite. But i am rootin for ya, and im excited to read about your continued progress!! its inspiring.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:43 pm 
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Roberto, whaz up, man?

Day 16 and still kicking arse....good job!!!

I think your knee pain will go away in time. I'm guessing it's your opiate receptors down regulating (or up regulating....I always get those backwards, but who gives an eff!! lol). Your opiate receptors were used to being fat, dumb and happy and now they're :shock: !!! So, every little ache and pain you feel, they go into overdrive and make you go :x !! They'll normalize before too long.

Now, if your knee pain worsens, you should go see a doctor.....something could be up.

I hope you're able to get more Clonidine, it does help with sleep. If your doctor won't give you more, then he's a jackass and you should then try Unisom. Unisom (with Doxylamine Succinate) is OTC and it's a really good sleep aid.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:44 pm 
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hey i just wanted to thank you guys for everyting you have said because it all makes me feel a little bit more comforrtable while i go through what seems like a really weird time, its been so long since i have been opiate free and it shows lol.. i really dont remember what i was like before i got hooked so that is something that i just have to work on is figuring that out.. i will be seeing my doctor tomorrow about more colonodine and i guess for tonight hopefully i can make it over to the store so i will try that Unisom stuff, hey if it helps me sleep then i will be a happy man... but day 17 has been good to me other than slight temper ( you know like dont say a word to me slight temper) ok maybe a little more than slight but other than that i am just a little tired and unmotivated, really no pains or aches or anything except for the first hour this morning but they all went away before i left the house this morning... anyways thanks for that advice about looking back a week and seeing where i was because i can definatley see progress when i look at it like that..

thanks ya'll

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:59 pm 
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my computer shut down on me while i was typing my day 18
so breifly,
day 18,
I am starting to feel normal like what i was like while on the subs type normal, thats good right?
slept descent last night with melatonin, and the end for my complaints..
today was one of those days that i have been waiting for since this whole process started, first sign of a whole day of normal...
just trying to stay positive here kind of like hope for the best but prepare for the worst
it is easy to forget how shitty it was 15 days ago coming off this stuff let alone what i was like in active addiction, my last court date the judge said "rob, looking at your record it appers that you are a one man wrecking crew" and that is something that i hope i never forget even though i am not proud of it, it scares me bad to think how bad it will be if i do pick up again...
thank god for sober people and the rooms i go to keep it all fresh in my head
Rob

ps
thank god for all you wonderful people that arent scared to share with me on here, addicts are great when sober, am i right?

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:15 am 
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A whole day of normal....WOO-HOO!!! Feeling normal is so nice, isn't it? :wink:

Do you mind if I ask about your plans for staying off drugs? In my experience, getting off drugs and staying off drugs are two different animals. I would highly suggest some kind of recovery work, be it in NA/AA or SMART recovery or time with an addiction counselor. Just some food for thought for you.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:44 am 
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Congrats Rob! I have been following your progress and it is sounding so familiar. I am on Day 14 no opiates/ day 40 no Subs (kinda complicated story, lets just say the w/d didn't really kick in until 14 days ago). I seemed to wake up one day this week and the worst was over. Just like they said. I do have Clonidine but have low blood pressure normally so a little hesitant to take at night anymore. But the days I was on it in the past 2 weeks- it helped..not greatly but some..exercise is my friend. I had heard someone say raising your heart rate helps a lot. I can attest, it really really does. Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do the first 10 days or so- I forced myself out to walk, hike, Yoga-anything to get me out there..
You are doing great! I guess we are examples of yes..it does get better.. :D
I am twice your age and listen, you have your whole life ahead of you. If I had it to do over, I would have dealt with my addictions in my 20s head on like you. I didn't have the courage you have right now. So hang in there!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:39 pm 
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i really appreciate the honesty in your reply.. and yes now is the best time for me to be in recovery just because of the fear of all the things that i have to lose still. its a short list, as i have screwed up so much already, but i plan getting my life back together and the only way ive seen other people do it answers
Romeos question,
i am in complete agreeance (is that a word?) with him on getting off drugs and staying off drugs are two seperate things..
brief story, i was told that i have the disease of alcholisim and addiction at 16 years old, yes folks i was pretty much full blown that young.. fast forward 10 years to a little over 3 months ago i was walking into my 9th treaatment center, well crawling into begging for help. about my 10th day in there something hit me, and i was sitting there thinking "wow, I am a drug addict/alcoholic just like they said.." then the most amazing thing happend, see i had heard of AA/NA a decade ago but was the oppisite of willing to actually do 12 steps/AA for the reason that i thought these people just couldnt handle their liqour/drugs.. but all of a sudden i hear this guy say he is 30 years sober, another guy say he is 15 years clean, and another say 4 months, and come to find out the one thing they all have in common is the fact that they are all working very hard in their program and not only are they clean but yes they are happy as well.. this is what i want.. so i got busy working those steps, and getting completley honest with myself, god, and my sponsor... so to answer the question, yes my plan is to stay in AA and accept life for what it is, and figure out how to deal with it... i have come to figure out that my problem was never drugs/alcohol, my problem is rob is a sick man... I feel that acceptance and honesty has been key for me getting clean, and also (close your eyes if you dont beleive in higher powers) god. so my opinion is simple, stay in the middle of AA, stay honest, open minded, and willing and stay close to others like me, work steps hard, and i Dont have to fail again.

even though i am only 19 days off of subs, i count my clean date as march 4th 2013, and i owe it all to AA and God.. all i did is show up, and they are showing me how its done.

btw it was suggested to me to keep a journal of coming off the subs, so i came here to help myself and do just that, and I have gotten more hope from it than i imagined i would.. you guys are awesome

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:55 pm 
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day 20
only dealing with emotions my friends...
had more laughs today then yesterday which is nice because i feel like i was forcing smiles all week..
anger still there, got pissed that my wife got me arbys instead of subway, and after that i was thinking
wtf is wrong with me, i love these curly fries, who gets pissed about arbys?

so for anyone going through the w/d's just think, sooner or later the physical part will be over with and then
you get to be a whiny little jive turkey like me, and get mad about everything

JIVE TURKEYS A LITTLE OVER THE LINE MY MAN

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sUvvGdNi9c[/youtube]

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 11:04 pm 
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WHAT!!! Your wife got you Arby's instead of Subway, how dare she!!! OMG, I can't believe she did that. WTF was she thinking!! :lol:

HA, I got a good laugh when you said that about Arby's instead of Subway.....sounds like I used to be. I'd lose my everloving mind over thee stupidest shit ever. Thank goodness my wife has the patience of a saint. She'd let me blow my top, then she'd let me come crawling back to her about 15 minutes later to apologize. She always had that "shit eatin' grin" on her face too.

About your earlier post, I'm glad you're in complete agreeance with me. (I don't know if agreeance is a word, but I like it!!). I'm glad you're thinking things through and doing what Rob needs to do to stay clean. Rock On, Bud!!

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:19 am 
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Your clips are cracking me up. I just saw blondies Superbad clip, fo sho! And I forgot about jive turkey, I gotta watch something funny.


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