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PostPosted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 11:50 pm 
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Ok, so I've posted other threads before when I was having the more acute physical symptoms- but now I'm writing more about the post-accute symptoms.

Yes I get lethargic and my muscles feel week, but I push myself to do things and I feel better. But here's something I don't understand and can't really find any info on. Everything, and I mean everything, is funny to me. I am laughing constantly to the point you would think I was the opposite of clean. Things my friends and family say, movies, random people- I laugh to the point that I'm crying . And yes if I insist on watching a sad movie, I cry harder too- but this laughing thing , it's weird. Has anyone heard of this happening?

Yes certain times of day when I'm hungry or tired I'm not a laughing lunatic, but most of the time- especially watching movies alone- I find the tiniest things hilarious. I know this is a good thing, but it's a strange side effect of coming OFF sub, right?


Last edited by FinallyOffSub on Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 12:30 am 
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I can't say whether that's a normal side effect or not, because I am not completely off the subs yet. BUT I will say, when I am extremely exhausted, I laugh at everything. I've been like that my whole life. So maybe you're body is just beyond tired from this battle you've been going through recently, and you just have the giggles. Maybe? That's just my opinion. I hope that's how I am when I get to that point lol


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:04 am 
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I think it's because I am now putting myself in more situations where I can laugh, and now I actually give a shit what is being said. On sub I used to be so detached- I didn't care if I saw my friends or sisters for months ( kept busy with school and work, but that was it). Now since I've been off, I see my sisters (college-aged ) every day, and they make me laugh. I text with my friends every day and joke around ( mixed in with serious talk abt detox), and I only put on movies that are funny when I feel like watching tv.

All the things I used to do/enjoy were isolated activities. Now I crave human interaction so much. I haven't lived at home in 8 years, but I now want to see my family every day. It's like a natural high. It's a little scary to know that my personality is changing because that means I don't know who the real me is. Sub has been altering me for five years, so what if I'm nothing like I have been for five years? Nothing is the same anymore. And I think that's good... Just a bit scary.

But I'm being strong and smart- I'm trying to fill my days with activities despite the lethargy, and I'm taking vitamin b and d (along with prescribed tanning sessions) to combat my occasional depression at nighttime. The vitamin d really helps if you detox in the winter- if it was summer, the sun would be enough. Personally I think it's better than getting on an anti depressant to combat PAWS (which isn't bad with proper nutrition and exercise). And I'm hoping that my laughing a lot is helping my opiate receptors heal... Maybe that's just wishful thinking.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:09 am 
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Wow, that's awesome to hear! I think the same thing. I've been struggling with this for five years now, (suboxone almost 3) and I wonder, do I even know who I am without the opiates? Will I be a completely different person? Those same words you just said are the same thoughts I have on a day to day basis. That's awesome you want to spend more time with your family, and are talking more with friends!

I was a social butterfly before all of this. Mostly partying, which wasn't great, but if it wasn't partying, I was out doing things! Had to be with friends out and about. After I got on opiates, I became a hermit crab. Never wanting to leave the house. I truly hope once I'm finished with this I will feel the same way.

You're right, it's like a natural high. Finding out who we truly are. Having feelings again. Building memories again. It's a beautiful thing. You're further in me in your recovery right now, I hope to be there soon. Congrats, and keep on laughing. I hope that's something I do often when I get to that point! :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:10 am 
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further than me*


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 5:23 pm 
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Since I've been off Sub (almost 11 months) I find that I laugh a LOT more. Not constantly, but that full out laugh where you're holding you stomach and crying kind of thing. I was driving in my car recently and the person I was with said something that struck me so funny that I seriously almost drove off the road in my hysterics. To me that's one of the rewards of coming off of opiates. And yes, my behavior when I first got off of Sub made people think I was high, which was ironic because most people didn't know I was high all the years I was using.
I also cry a lot more and get angry more than when I was on Sub. But I'll take the good with the bad. Not being able to deal with my emotions was what I think got me into drugs in the first place - so I'm working on it.
I wish you the best - just enjoy the laughter
Lilly


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:57 pm 
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Today is exactly three weeks! It's so nice to hear from other people who understand sub- because it's a complicated thing to understand if you haven't experienced it. When I talk to my sister, I say- imagine spending five years with a mild buzz. It doesn't make you loopy or act crazy, but it's not the real you. That's the only way I know how to explain it. But yes, it made me more isolated.

Today I went to breakfast, did some work at home, then drove to my family to be around my sisters. I hate being alone now- hoping that's just post sub anxiety and restlessness. But I feel a million times better out of the house- even if I'm just in my car! Still concerning, though, is that I get hit with this wave of tiredness exactly when the sun goes down (which is currently 5pm). I'm taking vit d, which I hope helps, but it's only been a few days on it. My regular schedule (which is 9am-9pm six days a week) resumes next Wednesday- one week. I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this tiredness- I used to take a small dose of sub at exactly 5pm. Am I supposed to eat? Or drink coffee? Because I have to be able to power through it until my day ends at 9pm. I want more energy- I don't know if that's just gonna take time though. I read a lot about how tired people are for sometimes a few months after sub.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 8:21 pm 
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FinallyOffSub wrote:
I think it's because I am now putting myself in more situations where I can laugh, and now I actually give a shit what is being said. On sub I used to be so detached- I didn't care if I saw my friends or sisters for months ( kept busy with school and work, but that was it). Now since I've been off, I see my sisters (college-aged ) every day, and they make me laugh. I text with my friends every day and joke around ( mixed in with serious talk abt detox), and I only put on movies that are funny when I feel like watching tv.

All the things I used to do/enjoy were isolated activities. Now I crave human interaction so much. I haven't lived at home in 8 years, but I now want to see my family every day. It's like a natural high. It's a little scary to know that my personality is changing because that means I don't know who the real me is. Sub has been altering me for five years, so what if I'm nothing like I have been for five years? Nothing is the same anymore. And I think that's good... Just a bit scary.



I started laughing when I read your post about finding everything funny. It's not as intense for me now that I'm 1.5ish years off of sub/ opiates, but I still find the humor in so much. The first 6 months.. even the first year I should say.. was filled with laugh attacks. Big, long belly laughs. I could find the humor in any situation. I realized (for me personally) I was force laughing with people before. Now I truly find things funny and can't help but to laugh out loud. Your post really resonated with me because, like you, I pretty much shut off the outside world during my time on suboxone. It wasn't immediate, but over the course of 6 years, it got to the point where I didn't really attend any gatherings or care to interact with friends/ co-workers. My husband was the only person I wanted to be around. I would bury myself in work, and that was totally ok with me. Once I decided to end my maintenance, I suddenly craved human contact and interaction. It is SO enjoyable and fulfilling. I find it harder to get my work done these days (lol) but I'm still laughing and enjoying people's company. I've rebuilt a lot of good friendships that I had neglected over the years.

I'm not trying to trash talk subs, because I was FAR worse off before I started suboxone, but this was my experience too. It's nice to have this change in my life, because the detached-ness had caused some stress in my life. The lethargy hung around for me for a long time, I will admit. But, I finally feel "normal" now. It feels good.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 8:08 pm 
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Yes, right now my abs hurt because I've been laughing so much. For instance, I was shown this YouTube video today- I think it's called is this real life. Oh my gosh, it is the funniest thing I have ever seen.

Right now is my tired period though- from 5 to 7. I get foggy and zoned out, and I guess mildly depressed. It eventually passes, and then I'm too awake later at night. The only way I can fall asleep these days is through these Jody Whitely guided meditation things. Ugh, they're so awful- you feel like you've been committed to a psych ward or are back in rehab with their annoying self-esteem building and self-calming proclamations... But they work, and I'll do anything to sleep. It still blows my mind that normal people sleep without some kind of medication.

I think I understand now why most rehabs want you to go into a halfway house for 90 days... Your brain isn't your brain even after 30 days (I'm at day 22- starting to lose track though). This might sound sad and like I don't have enough will power, but I feel like it would be so great if I had a coach of sorts living with me 24/7. Like- get your ass up and do this, and they wouldn't let you say no. I don't know what I'm gonna do when my crazy schedule starts next week... I guess I'm gonna have to find some more inner strength. Even when I go out and feel mentally good, I'm so weak. Everything aches, I get winded doing the grocery shopping. Tried a 30 min beginners Pilates video last night, and I feel like I got hit by a bus. I'm glad I had the strength to do it though- it did wake me up. Maybe if I put physical activity into my days it would help my energy ? Mind you, I haven't exercised in 7 years.... And I used to be a 6 day a week ballet dancer.

Ugh, it's just so up and down. And exhausting. I just keep hoping one of these days I will wake up and feel strong and great and amazing.... But it doesn't work like that. Anyone with any tips on combatting the lethargy and weakness, please let me know. But I'm glad to hear someone off subs for a year and a half- I imagine that is such a good feeling to post on here so long after stopping. And you don't have to justify your feelings towards sub to me- I agree. They serve a purpose- they gave me 5 years distance from heroin and helped me put pieces of my life back (work, school, family). But it's still a drug, and I used to tell myself I was clean for those five years . I don't believe that anymore now that I realize how much sub affected my personality.

Sorry if this post is a little down in comparison- each day is different and the time of day really affects me.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:53 pm 
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Are you talking about the video of the little boy after the dentist appointment? Love that one.. it's a classic.

I wish I had tips for you, to get through the hard part of having no energy. People say vitamins and working out helps. I tried my hardest to work out a little. I did light yoga and it was hard.. HARD. I too couldn't get through a trip to the grocery store. Besides freezing my ass off, I'd need to sit a few minutes, but couldn't. I did the stupid thing and used coffee like it was going out of style. Seriously, in the first few months of detoxing, I drank about 6-8 espressos a day. I didn't care if it made my tummy issues worse, I didn't care if it gave me anxiety/ sweat palms.. I needed the boost to survive. I jumped from about 1.5ish though. I say 1.5 because that's what I was stable on before I jumped, my last day of taking suboxone I took .5.. but obviously wasn't stable at that dose by any means. I didn't know what I was doing, just trying to figure it out on my own. Anyway, I used artificial energy and faked it until I (slowly but surely) made it.

Yes, your brain isn't really your own right now. Totally an accurate statement. Re: A life coach.. You mean, like a Sherpa? :lol: I probably talk about this daily. I wish I had a life Sherpa. Someone to guide you through life, carry your stuff, spot you during troubled times, lead the way.. etc. Now that I'm pregnant and getting bigger, I need a sherpa just to help me out of bed in the morning. LOL
So totally feel you on that one.

I know it's hard. And I wish I could say exactly when you'll turn the corner but I can't. It's a gradual progression and some days you won't even notice it.. but you are moving forward. My "tools" were laughing and music.. for the most part. These two things seems to help raise my spirits without fail. Have you been cranking the music yet? It's powerful right about now, at this stage.

Hang in there~!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 2:03 pm 
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Thank you for these posts about laughing after the subs are gone! It may sound weird but they made me cry because it gave me so much hope. My husband of 27 yrs is now working to get off sub. It may help some people, for a period of time, but it has nearly destroyed him(3yrs on), and almost caused him to lose everything he loves. I have been scared that even if he's off the sub, will I get him back? Will I see the person I used to see before? Have his emotions, passions, joy gone forever? The posts about the laughing give me so much hope!! Thank You


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