It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 11:25 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 5:14 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
Well, I'm at day 20 with nothing. I know that's a great step but I'm not feeling much better. I jumped off at kind of a high dose at 4 sometimes 8 mg. It was rough but nothing I couldn't handle. I figured by day 20 I would feel pretty good. But I'm still sick to my stomach a little and I feel like a brick. I'm sure it's not helping that I'm not working and with the weather being so bad I haven't had a lot of exercise. I feel like I have a constant headache and my brain is foggy. So far I've had a good attitude about coming off of them but the last few days I have felt depressed.

I've been at this point before and I went back on them This time that is not an option for me. I've came to the point in my life where I have to be done with these things. Anything that makes you this sick for days has to be really bad for your body. And I just can't do it anymore. I'm tired of needing something to be normal.

Someone tell me it's going to get better. How long does it take before you stop feeling sick? I'm afraid to go back to work because of my energy level. Hopefully now things start looking up.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 5:27 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:35 pm
Posts: 17
Hey man, I feel you. I'm 11 days, feeling pretty good, but I've been staying as active as I possibly can. Getting daily exercise in some way or another. Still sleep is hard to come by, and the restlessness feeling is still there, but subsiding by the day. Are you taking any other meds?

The only thing I could recommend is going somewhere where you can exercise indoors if the weather is crappy, like a gym, yoga studio, etc. And make sure you are eating healthy and taking vitamins and stuff, the usual advice. Idk if medical cannabis is legal in your state, but it is where I am here, and I take light doses of oral medical cannabis to alleviate the stomach issues. No smoking of the substance; that tends to create more anxiety for me. The oral MMJ also relieves body pain quite a bit when taken in conjunction with advil or tylenol.

Best bet is to stay active, and you will feel tremendously better. I am taking Lyrica (pregabalin) at night in addition to the MMJ edibles to help sleep, but I only have the Lyrica for 3 more days. I could recommend Lyrica (pregabalin) or Neurontin (gabapentin) for help sleeping, which will also give you more energy the next day if you are well rested.

Good luck to you, and keep us posted on your recovery. -GP

_________________
I keep climbing, climbing, up the ladder, and it keeps shaking, but you know, up I gotta go. - The Isley Brothers


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 5:56 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4141
It's going to get better!!

Every day you're heading closer to feeling more normal. Even though you still feel bad, I bet you feel better than you did at day 5! It's hard to notice the progress when you're feeling poorly, but you are making progress!

There are many people here who have been through the same thing and they eventually got better too! Tapering before jumping off is a good idea, but there are still plenty here who jumped off 4mg, 8mg, even 16mg.

I hope you can make it through and then never touch another drug again. But addiction is a sneaky bastard! It will lay in wait until you're vulnerable some day. So guard your recovery!!! Make sure you have a plan to attend meetings or a support group, or see a counselor, etc.. Live your life in a way that makes your sobriety strong.

Keep posting here. It helps!! Read through other threads people have written about stopping suboxone. I wish you the best as you struggle to get through this!

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 7:24 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:07 pm
Posts: 155
I agree... You WILL get better and that is a fact. When? that's hard to say as everyone is different, but you are closer than you were. We've spent years breaking our bodies, it will take longer than a few weeks to repair it. Sometimes it hard to see the forest because of the trees, meaning that I agree with @Amy-WIP and that you are better than you were, just not were you want to be. We've got a current member that is at a month and still cannot sleep more than 2 hrs at a time. I am not trying to scare you, as that is an extreme case and not "typical", but there is really no telling exactly PAWS will keep a hold of you. What I can tell you is that IT WILL GET BETTER. Until then, the best I advice I can give is for you stick around here, read up, and ask some more questions. You will find the greatest people on earth here who are willing to help you and support you the whole way.

I am glad you found us, now just keep up hope and keep fighting. We've got your back.

Much love and luck,

Reprieve

_________________
" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 7:32 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
I have to say that I don't think I would have made it this far without cannabis. It's helped with my stomach a lot. Unfortunately it's not legal in my state yet so that is next on my list to stop. I've never had a problem stopping that but I want to be completely clean for once in my life. But for right now it's a lifesaver.

I do realize that I feel better every day. I knew this would be a long process. This isn't the first time I've stopped. For some reason I like to torture myself by putting myself through withdrawal over and over. But this time I feel different. I hit a low point in my life and decided that was as far as I'm willing to go. I want this to be the last time that I feel this sickness. And I've been through it enough to remember it forever.

I wish I had more good things happening in my life. I'm not working right now. unemployment is giving me the runaround. My jeep broke down. Borrowed my moms car and someone cut me off and wrecked it. Now the lady that cut me off is suing me. I'm broke and have to make a jeep payment by the end of the month or they will come get it. And I feel too sick to look for another job. So I'm pretty stressed out right now. But my main focus is to get off of drugs. I don't care what happens to the rest of my life as long as I fix that I can fix the rest too.

Sorry for being long winded but one of my other issues is that over the time I was doing sub I got rid of all of my "Friends". So I'm pretty lonely these days. It feels like me against the world. I do have my family but I'm still at the stage where I feel completely embarrassed by my drug use. It's hard to even look them in the eye after all I've put them through. Even though I know they love me unconditionally.

So I guess it's up to you girls/guys to listen to me whine about how bad it is for me right now. Hopefully I can return the favor once I get better. Because I'm going to get better!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 7:41 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
I do have to say I feel a lot better than the last time I jumped. Last time I was at 16mg when I jumped. And lasted 3 months but was still pretty sick. This time is about half of what it was like last time. Probably because I was on less when I jumped. I know it could be worse. I haven't been sleeping too bad. I used benzos for the first week and it helped a lot. Then when I stopped them I was up for about a week and a half straight. But now I can fall asleep. I wake up many times through the night and can't sleep past around 4-5 in the morning because I get bad cramps. But I don't mind getting up that early. So, yes it could be and has been a lot worse.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 11:30 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More

Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:32 pm
Posts: 249
Like others have said, you do have to give yourself more time because of the high dose you jumped at. It took me about 2 weeks to start feeling better and I jumped from 2mg. I relate to what you said about loosing your friends and feeling lonely as you struggle through this. I had a ton of friends before my addiction took over and my social life was my primary focus. When drugs became the most important thing in my life I lost every one of them. I was lucky to detox in a treatment center surrounded by other addicts. It is the best support system an addict can ask for. It is similar to what we do on this forum. I am now an active member of a 12 step group and I have made so many close friends that support me everyday. They are better than any friend I have ever had because they actually care about how I am doing and can relate to what I am going through. They never judge and will always be there when I need them. I know a lot of people have issues with recovery programs, but if you give it a chance and don't focus on what you don't agree with, you can at the very least, build a great support system in your life. Now would be the best time to do it as you struggle with this early phase of recovery. You will feel so much better sharing your struggle with other addicts. Good luck!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:19 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
Day 24 feels pretty good! I've had a lot of trouble with feeling tired and having no energy. But I decided to start pushing myself a bit. Seems like every time I do I feel better. Some of the best advice I think I've got from this site was to exercise and eat right. Another thing that I think gave me more energy was that I was smoking marijuana which I have to say helped a lot with my stomach issues. But my goal is to be 100% drug free and stay that way. So I finally hit a point where I feel good enough to stop that too.

I had an interesting test today and I passed. I was cleaning my bedroom. It was pretty messy because of my lack of energy. I started going through the drawer where I kept all of my secrets. Getting rid of pill bottles and paraphernalia. Well I came across some little baggies with coke in the bottom of them. Coke was always an every once in a while thing for me but still something that I could never turn down. I sat there and dumped all the baggies out on the table scraped it up into a pile then cut it into a line. I sat there looking at it for a few minutes, going through all kinds of thoughts in my head about how much faster I could clean up. But then I stopped myself and said NO!!! I'm not ever going down this road again! Then I took a big breath and blew the line away. It was a better feeling than I would have got if I actually did the line.

I realized right then that the key to fixing myself is all in my head. I don't need drugs and I'm the only one that can stop the madness. It took me getting to my lowest point to realize this but things feel different this time around. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Tomorrow might not be as good as today. We all know it comes and goes. But hey, that's life! Even people that have never done drugs have that problem. And I had that problem when I was on drugs too. I know I can do it. And I'm not going to stop until I do.

So yes, today was a good day.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:29 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:35 pm
Posts: 17
Hey rizob, good for you on reaching day 24! You're almost at the 4 week mark where I heard things start improving even more. And I gotta say props to you for not doing that line of blow. I don't know if I could have been that strong. But you totally did the right thing by not putting that shit up your nose. I know that would have sent my mind off to the races. And I probably would have darted outside and started looking for some pills or dope to cop on the street. Yeah, it might have helped you clean, but I know at this point for me with only 17 days, that coke would have skyrocketed my anxiety and probably not helped me get any cleaning done, and I just would have been freaking out the whole time instead.

Seriously way to go. That was probably a first of many times you will be tested with drugs and alcohol, but you really thought it through this time and used proper judgement. I know if I was on sub, you bet I would have said fuck it, and probably just done all of that, and then go out looking for more.

Good for you, keep us updated on your recovery! Your story is giving me hope as well! - GP

_________________
I keep climbing, climbing, up the ladder, and it keeps shaking, but you know, up I gotta go. - The Isley Brothers


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:30 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4141
Hi Rizob! I'm happy to hear that you're having a good day!

And you should be very proud of yourself for making the decision to blow the blow! Lol!

Yes, you will be tested many times and it will be tough, so make sure you have people you can talk through it with. Make your recovery and your recovery support team the priority.

I wish you the best in the upcoming weeks!

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2014 8:55 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
Well day 26, Still hanging in there. I finally went back to work yesterday. I was scared I would die when I finally had to. But I'm happy to say 2 days in and I'm still alive. I'm a plumber and my first day back We did a sewer dig. Which means I was on the end of a shovel the whole day! Not the job you want to do your first day back after coming off sub. But I pushed myself to do the best I could. It's a new job so I had to impress the boss. So far it looks like I accomplished that goal. At the end of the day I was happier than I have been in years! Driving home had my radio blasting singing at the top of my lungs. And I didn't even care If anyone heard me! It just felt good to have my head finally getting cleared out. I can almost think again!

I think I figured out the trick to not feeling like crap coming off of these things. For a long time now our emotions have been suppressed by drugs. Now that we are coming off of them our emotions are going crazy. That's why I recently have found myself crying at stupid TV shows or laughing my ass off at something funny. Just so you know I don't ever cry. I could probably cut my leg off and not cry but now I can't help myself sometimes. And it's all because my emotions are fixing themselves. And it feels good! So what I'm finding is the best thing you can do is force yourself to be in a good mood. You control your brain. If you want to be happy and feel good only you can do that for yourself.

Even the physical tiredness can be reduced some. Days 10-20 I laid in bed and felt sorry for myself and I felt like crap. And It kept getting worse instead of better. After day 20 when I started this thread I decided I needed to try something different. So the last 6 days I would jump out of bed early in the morning and the first thing I would make myself think is how much better I felt today. I forced myself to be happy and I forced myself to get off my ass and do something. I went for long walks and cleaned the stuff I have been putting off. It made me feel a lot better and right now I feel good.

I'm glad I did that because I would have never made it through digging ditches all day. And I'm proud of myself because before I couldn't dig a ditch without taking an extra dose of something so it would numb the pain. I never thought I would be able to do it again without taking something. But I just proved to myself that I can. Granted every single muscle in my body has been screaming today and I feel like I went through some boot camp workout. But it still feels good because it was another win in my battle to be sober. And ibuprofen helps more than I thought.

I still do have some issues. Still having a little trouble sleeping and still some stomach issues. The stomach issues have cleared up a lot since I started pushing myself. I was afraid that would effect my performance the most. But it hasn't been an issue. Sleep has actually gotten worse for me recently. I was sleeping pretty good but the last few days it's been rough. I figured it would be the opposite because now I'm wearing myself out but it isn't. Nothing that I can't deal with. at this point I can deal with anything because I'm not going back to my old life ever again. I'm driven by the fact that I don't want to come on here and say I screwed up again. I've been there too many times. This time I want to be one of the people with a continuing success story. Hopefully someone will read my story just like the stories I read on here when I decided to stop. The people on here that made it through this already may have saved my life. Their stories gave me hope that it can be done. Maybe I can save a life with my story too.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 5:16 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 5:17 pm
Posts: 6
I just wanted 2 post and say that I hope things get better for u. I am on day 4 now and I have worked everyday since stopping Sunday. I had tapered to .25 and truthfully have felt minimal withdrawals. I realize that things could be so much worse and I wish u the best in ur recovery. U have come this far don't look back now. Things will get better. Soon.




I will say that I was on 8mg of suboxone for 4 years+ so I may not be out of the woods yet.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:32 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:35 pm
Posts: 17
Hey rizob, glad you are doing a lot better man. I'm almost at 3 weeks, and I absolutely agree that as hard as it may be, we really really must PUSH OURSELVES to get up and start doing shit like a normal person, and how it makes me feel tremendously better. Glad you were able to go back to work, I haven't felt up to doing that yet (need to look for a new job actually) because I'm afraid I'll start getting high at work again. Drugs and work have just went hand in hand with me my entire life so far. It was the only thing that made me "happy" enough to go to work I felt like. But I know if I do get a new job, it will probably help tremendously with some of the depression and feeling sorry for myself.

Hope your sleep starts to level out. This is still the worst for me, I maybe get about 4 hours a night or so now in like 20 minute intervals it seems. I finally force myself out of bed around 11am cuz I know my mind isn't going to drift off. I would probably be better off getting up at 6am when I stop sleeping then laying around for hours.

It's going to get better for the both of us man, thanks for sharing your story. It ALWAYS helps when I hear about how good people are doing getting off this shit. Stay strong - GP

_________________
I keep climbing, climbing, up the ladder, and it keeps shaking, but you know, up I gotta go. - The Isley Brothers


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 5:37 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
Work and drugs have always went hand and hand for me too. But recently I have realized just how hard it is to get a good job while doing drugs. Everybody tests these days. I've always lucked out with that before but it's getting too hard to deal with. The cool part is that I'm doing it with no drugs now. And it really doesn't feel much different. The guys I work with now are clean. Part of how I got to this point was because of a job I had where everyone did drugs. I just can't work at a place like that anymore. Surround yourself with good people and you will do good.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:16 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:35 pm
Posts: 17
Cool man, yeah that's good advice about surrounding yourself with clean co-workers! Lol never thought of that before! I just assumed that everyone who works a hard working job just drinks or does drugs to get by. That was a real misjudgement.

Hope all is well with you man, idk about you but my sleep is finally starting to get better. I can put like 2-3 hours together now and not wake up every 20 min with bad RLS. The anxiety is almost completely gone, and I actually feel high being completely sober! I get high off not being high anymore! Lol I'll get this real giddy feeling where I want to just cause some ruckus and pull some pranks just for the fuck of it! Lol like you said you just sing at the top of your lungs in the car, I've been doing the same thing now, and its like fuck it! Fuck the other drivers at the traffic light next to me, lol, its sweet, I'm really starting to not give a fuck about what anybody thinks anymore. Which is awesome.

Good luck and stay strong though man, -GP

_________________
I keep climbing, climbing, up the ladder, and it keeps shaking, but you know, up I gotta go. - The Isley Brothers


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:13 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:02 am
Posts: 9
Been reading this thread and u guys are an inspiration to me. Still on sub and want to get off, won't be for some time though.when I f up and slip its usually because in my head I'm convinced this is my fate.., but now I believe an end will come w hard work and being tough. We need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and start getting tough and angry. An old hookup pounded me today and I just wouldn't cave! Part of that was reading your thread yesterday..

As for friends who don't do drugs, those are birds of a different feather


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:17 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
Sorry Terps for the lack of inspiration. I've been busy and haven't had a chance to post. Things are still going good for me. Today is day 40 with no opiates of any kind. I've been working pretty steady digging ditches and carrying heavy things. It is definitely harder now. But lets face it, that is because my body was totally numb before. As a construction worker/plumber, if it wasn't for the fact that it numbed my mind too I would be the biggest supporter of opiates!

Some days I feel almost like I'm going through a mild withdrawal. Nothing too bad. Nothing that can't be handled. I still have a lot of stomach issues and I'm pretty sure I'll gain 100lbs before this is over. I can't stop eating! I need to slow down. It's just another sign of my addictive personality that I have to work on. Last time I went through this I lost weight! At this point I haven't been doing much more than I absolutely have to. In a way I think it may just be my old procrastinator ways coming back more than it is me having a physical issue. I remember being this way before so I'm not sure I can blame it on Sub. It's nothing that good diet and exercise couldn't fix. I think I might actually have a cold right now too. I have been really stuffed up.

But it's to be expected. my body is beat down right now. I'm healing. I can really tell that I'm getting better. I'm not embarrassed to sit and talk to my family anymore. I knew how worried they were about me and it always really embarrassed me that I wasn't strong enough to get better for them. Well guess what, It's looking like I am strong enough! I don't have any cravings to go and use. I feel like I have switched the opiate switch off in my brain. I'm actually mad at them for taking so much of my life away. I'm mad at them for making me sick for so long. And I'm mad at myself for getting hooked on them when I know better. But it's too late, it happened. So now all I can do is move forward from it and use that anger to stop me from ever going back. Because I can't go back.

Just today I ran into an old friend that is still using IV drugs. They asked me how I was doing and It felt good to have a positive story to share. And I almost felt like they wished they were me. Someone was looking up to me and I was on top for once. I wasn't the one with no good stories to tell anymore. I know that sounds conceited but it feels good to see yourself improving as a human. I always dreamed of making my life better and now I've at least took the first step. It also felt good to see this person again because I got to say goodbye. I can never hang out with them again unless they get clean. It's not worth risking my life for friendship.

I've also reconnected with playing music. I play guitar and sing but almost gave it up while using. I feel like I'm a lot better now. I don't forget lyrics or how a song is played as much. I've been working on more technical things. My fingers seem to move better.

Now just so everyone knows that I want to be completely honest I want to confess something. I have been smoking marijuana. While I consider that a backslide in my overall goal I don't consider it a slip in my war against opiates. I have to admit I really like it! Even though it has effected my life in small ways It really hasn't effected it much. I want it I don't need it. It's not something I do every day, all day like opiates. I don't have to do it to function but some days it's nice when you had a stressful day. The only bad part is that it's still illegal in my state. I really can't afford to get caught with it. That's why I really want to stop that too. But they just started talking about legalizing It in my state so maybe I won't have to worry soon.

I realize that that whole paragraph is my addictive personality rearing it's ugly head again. But I feel like I made the most important first step. I'm no where near cured. But I'm starting to realize where my brain is messing up. I'm paying attention and questioning my own excuses. I'm making myself think about what I'm doing. And I'm remembering how bad I was and not beating myself up for not being perfect right now. Step 2 will be coming again soon. But it's hard to stop something when you don't want to. I wanted to stop opiates more than anything. I think that makes it easier to say no.

I hope there was some inspiration in there somewhere. I've came a long way so far and I have a long way to go. This really isn't about if you can stop taking a pill or not. It's about changing the way you think. It's about changing your life. That doesn't happen in a day.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:43 am 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 36
Day 52 and things are definitely getting better! My energy is slowly getting back to normal, I'm not sick to my stomach as much, I have more money and I basically feel very happy that I made the choice to stop Suboxone. Stopping is not the easiest road but it's not impossible. Well, I'm off to spend my extra money on something cool! lol


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 12:33 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:27 am
Posts: 1454
Congrats on the progress and doing so well! It certainly is not "easy" but it's not impossible, as you said. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:05 am 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:24 am
Posts: 33
WTG!!! These are my favorite posts! You worked hard and it shows! Things will only get better from here on out and it seems like you are over that hump! Great job!!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group